It's Like Fire, Shut Up In My Bones

I Tried To Straddle The Fence

For the vast majority of my years here on planet earth, I lived according to my own desires. I have spent far too many uncounted for hours chasing after the always elusive elements of pleasure. Even after reaching my teen years, and realizing that some things were missing in my life that parties, drugs, alcohol, or even women could give me, I persisted in going my way, and doing business as usual. I knew that the Holy Spirit of God was tugging on my heartstrings, and I could hear, at times, the very voice of God whispering in my ear in an effort to draw me closer to him. But I was having none of that.

The more I would feel the urging of God, the further I wanted to be from his presence. The more I would hear the voice of God in the ear of my spirit, the deeper I would plunge myself into vices and sin.

I was brought up in a Christian home, a home where both my parents loved and served the Lord. We were taught to read scripture and pray as small children, sitting at the feet of my parents. We would sing songs and hymns, giving God glory and praise, yet I was constantly feeling the pull of the world, and tried for many years to sort of " Straddle The Fence."

I did my very best to be obedient and pleasing to my parents, while keeping a secret hand in the things that were going on in the world.

Saved, Sanctified, and Washed In His Blood

God delivered me safely through the horrible times of economic depravity, segregation, and racial injustice during the fifties and sixties, the era of free love and sex, and the Nam war of the seventies, and the inhumanization and fall of generational morality brought on by the crack epidemic of the eighties. I began to look back over my life, realizing that many had not made it, many had been lost along the way.

I began to understand the call of God on my life, and decided that it was time for me to get back into relationship with Him. Now a grown man, with a wife and children, and never wanting for my sons to live the way I had, I went back to church.

It wasn't long before I had fallen in love with Jesus, and totally submitted to his word. God put his word in my heart, and wrote his word on the tablet of my heart. And even though I had been baptized early in life, I submitted to be baptized again n the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I was Saved, Sanctified, and Washed in His Blood.

I Can't Hold My Peace

Jeremiah 20: 7-9, ( Student Life Application Bible)

O Lord, you persuaded me, and I allowed myself to be persuaded. You are stronger than I am, and you overpowered me. Now I am mocked by everyone in the city. Whenever I speak, the words come out in a violent outburst. " Violence and destruction!" I shout. So these messages from the Lord have made me a household joke. And I can't stop! If I say I'll never mention the Lord or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am weary of holding it in !

I found that I, like David, had come to a place in my relationship with God, that I love what God loves, and I hate what God hates. I began to understand better the " Seriousness of the Mission."

I began to understand why the scriptures speak so often, and so definitively against the false Prophets, who would deceive the Elect of God with enticing words, fables, and old wives tales. Jesus called them " Wolves in Sheep's clothing." Prophets who have studied and rehearsed the Letter, and have become skillful enough with an illusion of words to make you think a round peg will fit into a square hole, and yet remain void of understanding of the Spirit. Prophets who came with a word for the people of God, taking advantage of their every opportunity to stand on the proverbial "Soap-Box" for vain glory, to be seen of men, and heard for their much speaking, while God is saying, " I did not send them." Prophets who God says, " Bandage the wounds of my people as though they were not serious."

I struggled with closing the pages of my hubs, and backing away from the computer. For I would much rather that I myself be silenced, than to bring division within the body of Christ. I searched for a way that resolution could be reached without confrontation. But the word of God says, " The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force."

God has charged his shepherds today, with the same charge he gave to the Prophet Ezekiel, saying, Son of man, I have made you a watchman over the whole house of Israel. Therefore, listen to what I say, and warn them for me. Jesus said that anyone who enters the fold any other way than through the door, was only a thief and a robber. And the thief only comes but for to steal, kill, and destroy.

Truly, I love the people of God without exception. I do not write to be exalted, nor for money, nor to gain fame or notoriety, but that we may grow in the grace and knowledge of him together, and give praise to his Holy Name. But I must call em' like I sees em'. It is only the truth that makes us free. I tried, but I can't hold my peace.

More by this Author

Comments 20 comments

profile image

His daughter 7 years ago

What love the Father has for all of us that He will go to any lengths to bring us into relationship with Him. He gave His Son for us at great cost. What we offer and give to ourselves (laying down our lives for Him) could never repay the cost He suffered. Keep pursuing and going after that relationship with Him. When you love what He loves and hate what He hates you are walking in the fear of the Lord. Never back away from that for it brings great rewards.

Saintatlarge profile image

Saintatlarge 7 years ago from Canada

Missed you bro' and i'm with you. If i'm able to share something from my heart and life... that is my joy, to see others edified.

Blessings. L.

Unchained Grace profile image

Unchained Grace 7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

Jeremiah 23 underscores a lot of what's contained in this Hub and climbing the ladder out of our personal pit is something many of us still must do from time to time.

I applaud your transparency and your testimony. I as well struggled with a decision concerning HubPages, though God told me to keep writing and He'd handle the rest, so here I be. Great to have you back and you know I've been praying for you.

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 7 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author

His Daughter,

Truly God loves us, one and all, for He is no respecter of person. And there is no way that we can ever repay that sin price. And yes we must march on, remembering, " He who endures to the end, shall be saved."

Thanks for coming by and leaving such and inspiring comment.

God Bless

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 7 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


There is so much that you have already shared. I am strengthened and inspired for just having known you, and those who are true bro. and sis. in Christ. I pray that I may be a blessing to you.

God Bless

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 7 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


Here I be also. For truly the word of God is like fire, shut up in my bones, and I can't hold my peace. Thanks for the prayers and for keeping me lifted up before the Father, as I will continue to pray the blessing of God for you and yours.

Kiss the wife for me.

God Bless

RevLady profile image

RevLady 7 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Missed you! God loves you and so do I.

Forever His,

profile image

peacenhim 7 years ago

Great message godpreacher!! Your testimony really hit home with me. And I am so glad to know you on Hubpages as your words are Truth!! God Bless!!

profile image

loriamoore 7 years ago

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

A M Werner profile image

A M Werner 7 years ago from West Allis

godpreacher, I hear my own kids tell me even today that the hardest part of the Christian walk is not straddling that fence. It is so easy when you're young to want Christ but also participate with your friends in questionable behavior. There is constant temptation coming in from every side. Staying true to the Word is the only thing that can light our way.

And don't worry about causing division out here on the internet for it is the Word that separates, not us. We ourselves are not a two-edged sword.

Also, welcome back - missed your hubs! Peace.

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 6 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


I couldn't stay away from you. You are such a beautiful sister, an example of the glory of God on earth. Luv Ya.

God Bless

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 6 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


I understand.Thank you very much.

God bless

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 6 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


You know the proverb that says, train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. I know that you have planted the word in their hearts, they may stray a little, but they won't go far. Missed you also, I never stopped reading, just didn't leave any comments.

God Bless

profile image

"Quill" 6 years ago

Love the humble heart you have to serve the Father...God has ordained you for doing His work and doping it you are...

Blessings and love

JetterV7 profile image

JetterV7 6 years ago from Angola, IN

godpreacher, wonderful to have you here again. I love your honesty and integrity and straight-shooting style. God has huge plans for you my friend and I am proud to be one of your many followers.

God Bless

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 6 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


I receive that word from you for I consider you to be an anointed man of God, of great character and integrity.

God Bless

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 6 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


Thank you for that prophecy, I receive it in the name of God. I am glad that you enjoy the hubs in the context of which they are written, and I'm also glad to have you as a friend.

God Bless

JeanieR profile image

JeanieR 6 years ago from Sequoia National Forest, CA

"Like fire, shut up in my bones!" Godpreacher, I just found you and you certainly have my attention. You have a true gift with words and a noble cause for using them. God Bless!

godpreacher profile image

godpreacher 6 years ago from Atlanta,Ga. Author


Thanks for coming by. Sorry I am so late getting back to you. Remember, last doesn't mean least.

God Bless

drpastorcarlotta profile image

drpastorcarlotta 6 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

Your a breathe of fresh air godpreacher and I have missed you. As always your Hubs touches many. Thank you, voted-up!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article