Jealousy: Window of Opportunity for Spiritual Growth?

I’ve experienced jealousy in romantic relationships and also in friendships; who hasn’t? It’s never fun and it’s always attached to a lot of drama, which is very much “old energy.” Jealousy is a fear-based emotion that we’ve all had to deal with from time to time, but if we find it popping up in our lives over and over again, the universe is sending us a message. By continually drawing jealousy into our lives, we are attracting similar conditions so that we learn and grow.

That’s why it’s so important to examine our lives and look for patterns and connect the dots from the past to the present. When we find ourselves living a life script, that’s an indicator that there is a lesson we want to learn, but we haven’t quite gotten it right yet. Let me explain what I mean: Let’s say that you repeatedly find yourself feeling jealous—maybe in your present relationship, or it’s happened in most or all of your relationships. When a similar situation happens to you over and over again, you’re living what we call a life script, where you’re repeatedly drawing the same type of situation to yourself. We do this because there is a life lesson or Karmic debt that we very much want to deal with properly, and up to this point, we haven’t quite gotten it right. When we finally learn the lesson, we’ll stop co-creating this particular type of situation [Window of Opportunity] or person [Relationship Villain] into our lives.

Using myself as an example, the men in my life came in all shapes and sizes, but they all had one thing in common—they were all control freaks and they loved telling me what to do—even to the point of what makeup to use and what to eat for lunch. I was continually attracting that type of man to myself because I was determined to learn to stop giving away my power. It took me 40 years to learn that lesson!

If you experience jealousy over and over again, the odds are good that you haven’t dealt with it properly in the past, and if you want to stop dealing with jealousy issues in the future, the time is now to examine how you’ve handled such things in the past, and make some changes.

Understanding that jealousy is a FEAR-based emotion is an important first step. Jealousy is the fear of losing a relationship that’s important to us (romantic and non-romantic), and it’s NEVER a good idea to let fear rule our lives. It’s a much better idea to face that fear head on so that we can move on with our lives and continue to learn and grow. Here are some guidelines to help you deal with jealousy and walk through that window of opportunity for spiritual growth:

1) First of all, allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling; and then figure out exactly what it is you’re actually feeling: are you jealous or are you angry about something? Is this just a little twinge or are you afraid of losing the relationship? Once you identify what you’re feeling and what you’re afraid of . . .

2) Pinpoint exactly what’s making you feel this way. Is it a gut feeling, did you see something that made you jealous, or did someone say something to you that sparked this feeling? Why is what you heard or saw affecting you this way? Try to figure out what’s at the core of your jealousy/fear.

3) Look for patterns to see if this kind of thing has happened to you before, and if so, how often. If it has happened before in this, or in other relationships, then it’s time to look at the way you’ve handled similar situations in the past and determine what you could have done differently. When it comes to windows of opportunity, once you handle it properly and learn the lesson, you don’t have to deal with it again. You move on to other lessons and continue to learn and grow. So if the same situation keeps happening, that’s a sure sign that you need to change your behavior or the way you’ve dealt with similar situations in the past.

4) Sit down with the person who is contributing to the jealousy and fear. Communicate your feelings in an honest, clear, and concise manner, without yelling and screaming or pointing fingers. Listen with an open mind and an open heart to what he/she has to say.

5) Determine if the situation can be resolved, or if it’s better to end the relationship.

Allowing jealousy to remain in our lives is giving into fear. And when we give into fear, we give away our power. If we allow someone to make us jealous, we are, in essence, giving them power and control over us. If we continue to make other’s feel jealous, we are trying to steal their power. So ask yourself and be honest with yourself, how often has jealousy reared its ugly head in your life? Is it a life script for you? If you’re not sure, ask your family and friends—they’ll tell you! If it is a life script, then try a different approach than you’ve used in the past.

Let me leave you with a little something that my Guide Group likes to say about windows of opportunity: “It’s better to learn the lesson on the ground floor rather than in the penthouse.” That’s because we have multiple windows built into our lives to learn a particular lesson. They start out gently, and become harder and more filled with drama as you miss one window and go on to the next. Why? Because there’s a lesson here that we really, really, want to learn in this lifetime; and by waking up and spotting a life script early on, we’ll save ourselves, and others, a lot of drama and pain, as we expedite our spiritual growth.


Sherri Cortland is the author of Windows of Opportunity and Raising Our Vibrations for the New Age. For more about expediting spiritual growth, please visit or Sherri’s books are also available at, Barnes&, and Barnes & Noble stores.

Sherri Cortland, ND

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About the Author . . .

Sherri Cortland, ND, is the author of "Windows of Opportunity" from Ozark Mountain Publishing. You can learn more about Sherri and her book at

"Windows of Opportunity" and "Raising Our Vibrations for the New Age" are available through,, and in Barnes & Noble stores.

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Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Great hub! Thank you. ^_^

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