Depression: Giving it To God!

Feeling Life Is Crushing In

Many of us reach a time in our life when circumstances have us feeling like we just want to stop the merry -go-round and get off. Now to some of us,that mean a day of solitude,a get-away trip,or even a drastic life change. At one horrendous time in my life,I thought of suicide. I had heard the phrase from a grieving mother of a child that committed suicide that "suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem". But on this night,I didn't care who needed me,or who would grieve. I just wanted the hurt to be gone.Whatever it took to make it stop.

In fact, I was so hurt that I was thinking selfishly of myself.I had a grown brain -injured daughter that needed me. Though my other children lived far away, they stayed in touch and I didn't doubt their love. I adored my grandchildren. I had so much to live for, but on that particular night , I felt unraveled . I cried and walked the floor. Then I knelt by my bed,and prayed some more.

It seemed easier to die than face my hurt, and loneliness .It was a very low time , I had just separated from husband, and my beloved daddy was very ill. I knew he would be gone in a few months. I sat on my bed,crying bitterly,knowing that no matter how much I wanted to,that I could not take my life. I did not believe in suicide. So I prayed with choking sobs, asking the Lord to take me. "Let me die," I cried.

Gradually ,my crying turned to sniffs and to only a trickle of tears . I wiped my eyes as I stared at the clock on my dresser. Suddenly, I felt what I can only describe as a peaceful presence in my room.. I picked up my journal,and started to write.

I felt as if a black cloud of doom was smothering my spirit. I felt unwanted, unneeded ,and tired of living.

I could feel my Lord in the room. HE hurt with me. I knew it,just lie I knew my children loved me. But I also knew that God's answer was no. I waited. Nothing. I had my answer. His answer was no. In the silence , in my heart, He told me HE wanted to continue to use me, even though I would soon be divorced.The divorce was a terrible unexpected shock to me. I felt that no one would have any respect for me now. I felt everyone was laughing at my failure.)

I started writing the following plea. I don't call it a poem. I think it must be a song,though I can't really figure out how to put it to music. In my heart,I hear a very melodic sound,with a waterfall in the background.There is a sound unidentifiable with words that I heard in my heart the night I wrote this.

I hope this might help anyone that feels useless and rejected . God knows and He cares. We don't start caring about our children when their life is messed up. God doesn't either.


Lord Jesus ,If It's Me

Here in the dark night,kneeling I weep

Ah, You are here Lord . Lord, I can't sleep.

I lift my arms high Lord, I don't hesitate

In grief I cry ,"Let me come to you Lord, no longer to wait.

For it's you, Lord...YOU Lord......It's you that I need!

Here my cry Lord! Take me now Lord, for it's You that I need."

Silence..............................

But my heart hears You tell me that I CAN'T go away.

There's still work to be done.........souls to be won.

My heart hears you tell me that I have to stay

For my race is not run, there are souls to be won.

Silence........................

"Well Lord, I simply can't see with my earthly eyes

Anything of value You could use in my life."

Silence..........................

So Lord, I am kneeling......kneeling I cry, "But it's NOT about ME Lord,It is You Lord.,IT IS YOU LORD, it is You that THEY need!

They are so lost,with scales on their eyes, They are so lost, with no hope in their life

For when their hope is not in you Lord, what can they do?

Because it's You Lord,It's YOU Lord, it's You that they need!

Silence.......................... I rise and lift my hands

Lord, I SEE! LORD JESUS IT'S Me...me you want to use

Well keep me Lord,help me Lord, if it's me that you need

to work with hurt souls that want to be free!

Silence.....................I sing a psalm

The Lord is my ROCK, my FORTRESS, My DELIVERER,my GOD , my STRENGTH in Whom I will TRUST, my BUCKLER, and the HORN of my salvation, My HIGH TOWER!

LORD Jesus use ME ,me,me,me! LORD JESUS I SEE,see,see,see

Silence......................................PEACE

If you are depressed and feel more hopeless than you can express with words, give it to God. If you listen, He will speak. He grieves with you. You are not alone. I am not saying that if you have a chemical imbalance that causes you to be depressed that this is all you do. If you take medicine as part of your treatment, by all means take it! But don't stop believing that God is there, and that He cares. He can , and will still use you. You are not a "has been" to God!

Some depressions are caused by a lack of seritonium. Some depression may be caused by a traumatic event, as mine was.In times when you feel that you can't go on, force yourself to admit that this is not forever, and that no matter how dark it seems now, it will not last forever. Lay it on the altar, and give it to God! Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary place in your life.

copyright July 2,2010 by Jackie D. Kimball

He Has Made Me Glad!

photo by tahoeguy Flickr CC
photo by tahoeguy Flickr CC

More by this Author


Comments 83 comments

Joni Douglas profile image

Joni Douglas 6 years ago

We all have times like that. It is the still small voice, that life so easily drowns out, that means so much.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

2003 was the worst year of my life. I am glad I did not solve a temporary part of my life with a permanent solution of death.GOD is so good!


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

Bayou Lady such poignancy and trust to write and share these words and this story. Seven years on and you have shared your love with your family and your grand children. Some times in places of despair we forget the good things, really the grand things. When people doubt faith or religion they forget the positives because they don't want to believe for whatever reason - I will never judge that because everything is personal. Your story reminds us of that choice and what it means. I know what I believe and I know what you believe and that is what truly matters for you and for those that benefit around you.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

billyaustindillon

Thank you for your kind words! What do people do when they don't know the Lord in troubled times? On Dec.19,1969 I knelt at an old fashined alter and became His.He has kept me all these years, and He always will....if I listen to Him.


stars439 profile image

stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Dear bayou lady : You are precious to us and to our Lord in Heaven, and to your family. We all love you. God Bless You.


RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Bayou Lady,

I fed upon the wonderful soul food this hub graced my spiritual plate with. Thank you. I am now full.

Forever His,


sherrylou57 profile image

sherrylou57 6 years ago from Riverside

Welcome to HubPages. Soul food! Blessings to you.


Nera Woods profile image

Nera Woods 6 years ago

I had many of those I-like-to-die times when I was drowning in deep debt from 2008 to 2009. And every time after, I cry and thank the Lord He has not allowed me to reach the POINT OF NO RETURN. It makes me shiver now that I could have jumped from the edge and could no longer jumped up back. It's not complete if I don't share that my family sold something and eventually helped me erase my debts, and now I'm free. I always thank the Lord now that I'm still alive.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

STARS, thanks. It is great to meet you,too!Blessings!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

REVLADY, Thank you for your kind words. I look forward to getting to know you! HUGS!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Sherrylou,

Thanks for the welcome! PTL!!!!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Nera Woods,

Yes, I am thankful that though we walk in the valley, we are comforted. We must remember that this old world is just a dressing room for the marriage supper.

I join with you in thanking God that you remained steadfast. God bless the people who help us along the way!


heart4theword profile image

heart4theword 6 years ago from hub

It is so awesome, when we cry out to God, He hears our plea. He shows us He is their, in the midst of our storms, He will keep us afloat! Heartfelt, indeed:) Thank you for sharing. Divorce is a hard thing...most never knew, that it would happen to them. Until one goes through it, they can't imagine the consequences? Somethings are beyond our control. God will mend your broken heart:) Keep reaching up to Him!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Thank you heart. The beautiful thing is that I have no hate or bitterness for anyone involved in the end of my marriage.At the time, I wished he was dead! But now, I just try to remember all the good times we had before IT happened.No hate.None. Now that is a BIG GOD!


Specialk3749 profile image

Specialk3749 6 years ago from Michigan

I think we have all gone through times like this when we wanted to go to our heavenly home, and you have put that plea in such beautiful words! I really enjoyed your hub.


Lamme profile image

Lamme 6 years ago

Thank you for sharing your message of faith. You are a blessing to more people than you realize.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA

Wow. When I was younger, I was ALWAYS writing to God. When I was angry and I didn't want to act out, I wrote to God. It's a pity I left behind that simple way of "keeping in contact" with my saviour. This reminded me of how helpful writing to God used to be for me.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. God Bless!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

SPECIALK, LAMME, AND KALTOPSYD

Such kind words. I love meeting fellow lovers of Christ!Thanks for stopping by and reading!


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

Happy to hear that you passed that particular test with flying colors. Your faith helped you and now you are here to help those around you. Your kids, grandkids and others would have had a big void in their lives if those darkest of days had claimed yours.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA

It is hard to understand some things which come our way and I do not think that anyone is exempt from feeling these feelings at some point in their life. The Lord sees our pain and loves us and will make a brighter day; with time. God bless and this is wonderful. Thank you for sharing with us.


Wbisbill profile image

Wbisbill 6 years ago from Tennessee USA

A beautiful and helpful hub. Thanks for sharing!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

PEGGY LCTODD WBISBILL

What encouraging words! Thank you for taking the time to read my hub about that dark time , and leave me a warm fuzzy!

He didn't promise that we would have no heartaches, but He did say, that He would never leave us!


HIShubs profile image

HIShubs 6 years ago from MManila, Philippines

when i read about difficult trials like this, and with a triumphant ending, i just thankfully sigh that the Lord is Author of real Life books.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hishubs,

Thank you for your comments! Yes, we serve a mighty GOD who will never leave us!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hi Emman,

I am so glad I trusted God to get me through instead of trusting a gun to my head as the only answer! GOD is GOOD. ALL the TIME.I have so many reasons to chose LIFE!

Thank you for your nice comments.


sagebrush_mama profile image

sagebrush_mama 6 years ago from The Shadow of Death Valley...Snow Covered Mountain Views Abound!

http://homeschoolblogger.com/songofthesagebrush/20...

Thought you might like this one...God is good to meet us in our doubts, and to lift our hearts and heads as He guides and directs our paths. Your hub is lovely!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

I went to your site and read it. Beautiful! No tears in heaven, for God shall wipe them all away! No remembering all the things that have hurt us, for there will be no sorrow there!

I tried to leave a comment, but it was not allowed.

Bless you!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 6 years ago from Sunny Southern California

I understand...I have had that same prayer at times in my life, and it was answered the same. "Why can't I just come home now?", I wondered.

I found out that God had greater plans for me and greater happiness than I could ever imagine. It did take years and years for me to learn that it was not just for his work, but also for my happiness that I could not go home.

I hope you find the same happiness I have! Hugs! :D


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

K@ri,

Thanks! I am really happy. I have a wonderful family, an awesome little rural church where I am needed, and I live in the country(peaceful). My mother is my best friend, and she lives next door.

Thanks for sharing your story. You are so right, God has great plans for us!


John Cain profile image

John Cain 6 years ago from Dayton, Texas

Thanks for the following and this awesome hub. When the dust settles, and the victory is ours, we will see the Lord Jesus, afar off, with His sword drawn. God bless you and thanks again.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hi John,

Thanks for your comments, and God bless you,too!


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada

A beautiful, fervent plea. Thank you for sharing. God bless.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Sky321

THANKS! God bless you too! I still get that plea out and read it sometimes, and I wonder how I could have ever wanted to be dead with all that I have that is good in my life. Because of my divorce and the utter betrayal that led up to it,I was looking at all that I did not have.I have SO many reasons to live, and God STILL uses me. God is so good!


Wealthmadehealthy profile image

Wealthmadehealthy 6 years ago from Somewhere in the Lone Star State

How you touched my heart with these words. The Lord will always hold you up and encamp His angels round you to keep you safe. It seems you have a work yet to do in your writing...And never fear, even in the darkest night through the howling winds...Jesus is your Rock....and keep that NOAA weather radio handy stocked with batteries lol

Many blessings to you...I too welcome you to hubpages....keep on writing....we are all here to read!!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Thank you WEALTHMADEHEALTHY. It was a miracle.

I'm enjoying hubpages too much, I suspect! I've been here about a month. It is so much fun reading all the hubs. i don't go to the library lately!


Loves To Read profile image

Loves To Read 6 years ago

What a beautiful heartfelt story bayoulady. It brings tears to my eyes as although not divorced, i have two children that are and six beautiful grandchildren.

There was a number of times i felt this way over my life. When your heart seems to have exploded and the agony is so real. But Jesus suffered so , so much more and didn't give up. Praise His Holy Name. Welcome to HP sister.

Hugs.


Wealthmadehealthy profile image

Wealthmadehealthy 6 years ago from Somewhere in the Lone Star State

ROFL Who needs the library when you have a cornucopia of reading material in here??

I feel blessed since I found hubpages. Have made friends who are dear to my heart in here....And you are one of them....

Have a blessed day and know I am watching the Gulf. I came here from TX...a little island community....so I do keep an eye on that water....May God Bless you richly...


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hi LOVESTOREAD,

Thanks for stopping by and commenting, and for your empathy.Some don't have that and they hurt people because they don't.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

WEALTHMADEHEALTHY,

A Texan? Well howdy. An island community, that sounds interesting. Do you have a hub on that?

Thank you for all the nice compliments!


enchanted13 profile image

enchanted13 6 years ago from Toronto, Ontario, Canada

bayoulady, I know exactly how you feel. I can't tell you how many times I've said that exact same prayer..Lord, please call me home now because I just can't take anymore. Well, I'm glad his answer to you was no or I would not have had the pleasure of meeting you and reading your beautiful words. Thank you so much for sharing that and be blessed!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Thank you enchanted. I think it's beautiful how God's children get homesick for a place they have never been! But we don't get to choose the time. We have to leave it in HIS hands. I'm so glad I did!


"Quill" 6 years ago

Wonderful hub, from the heart... Thank you and you have a new fan.

Hugs


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

QUILL<

Thank you for your comments. It was from my heart!I'm still here, and so glad!I like your user name. Very original!


Pratonix profile image

Pratonix 6 years ago from Asia

Bayoulady, I'm glad I came across this poignant hub. Glad to that you love the Lord Jesus, our Saviour, Shepherd, Lord and God.

Reading your hub, I am reminded of the lovely and powerful promise from Isaiah 43:2. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you." The Lord is with us in our deepest trials; He is with us in flood and fire. He will never leave us nor forsake us. Heb 13:5b.


ediann profile image

ediann 6 years ago

I am very happy you got past this difficult time in your life. I feel for you in the pain you share and I am reminded of my poor father who was wonderful and my role model. He was always there for us and he succumbed to his depression. He was truly a wonderful father and husband but he was alone for 20 years after losing his wife. He had many grandchildren but when he lost his wife a part of him was forever lost. I grieve for him still after a full year because I am sad how he took his life in such a sad and tragic way. I summon the strength as he did for so long in his life. My son is my inspiration and I am strong for him. My regret is that I could not help my dad and feel terrible because he always helped us. I am always reminded of that wondeful poem Footprints in the sand and I am always touched by it because the lord does help us through these difficult times and carries us. I wish I was there for my dad that tragic day. Always remember that your family love you and are very greatful to have you in their life. We miss our dad and my son always asks about him. It is sometimes difficult to talk about it. Thank you for such a wonderful writing and I am glad to hear you are doing much better.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Pratonix- Thank you for reading and your kind comments. Yes, I am so glad He is ever present!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Ediann, thank you for sharing your heart tonight on my hub. So heartbreaking to hear of your father's decision. I once heard the saying that "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." SO TRUE!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

A very moving and emotional prayer in poem. You trust in God is apparent throughout the piece. Thanks for sharing it. WB


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Well, thank you .Wayne...I do trust Him!


Tina Truelove 6 years ago

Last year was one of the worst years of my life. While in the past, I had suffered loss, like all others, last year brought about a sea of loss and heartache. It all began with my grandmothers death. In the few months that followed, our family suffered two unexpected tragedies (a murder and a suicide). Then, betrayal from a trusted, long time friend who called himself a man of God. I could go on, but I will spare you the details. I may never understand why my family had to suffer so much grief at one time and still suffer from the results of it all, but I do understand that we have a just and loving God who will carry us through every moment and He will use it all for His glory. Nice to see another Christian on Hubpages. I look forward to reading more from you.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Tina Trulove- When we feel so devasted that it is hard to go on, yet we do, I think we become stronger. Bad things happen to good people, but the "anchor holds,tho the ship is tattered...."Thanks for reading and sharing!


fred allen profile image

fred allen 6 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

"I have journeyed, through the long dark night, out on the open sea" You are a precious child. The anchor does hold. I am so glad you found me. You have the heart of a poet. You feel the highest highs and the lowest lows, as do I.

Daddy loves us.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Thank you FRED ALLEN. I am also following you. I love the song The Anchor Holds. It is in my funeral plans in my last wishes folder! If that song can't comfort my loved ones, ....................... God bless!


samsons1 profile image

samsons1 6 years ago from Tennessee

voted up & beautiful! May bless you real good lady and seekk His face-- Keep writing, this was beautiful. I'm following you.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

samsons1, THANKS! I appreciate your comments, and your following me!


Ms Dee profile image

Ms Dee 6 years ago from Texas, USA

Beautiful! Someone else I know felt the same way after divorce. Thank you for writing this so it can be shared.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

MsDee,thanks for your comments.I know the pain of divorcing when the choice was not really yours to make.There was nothing I could do.Still the feeling that I was no good anymore lingered, until the night I wrote this plea to God. Blessings!


skye2day profile image

skye2day 6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

bayoulady Thank you for your heartfelt share. Sister you are to be at the hubs.Your writing is truth and heartfelt. It is beautiful No mistake in Gods world you were led here. He is shaping and pruning you up in HIS purpose for you. It is all good. It is not easy, our easy is in Paradise.Christ promises he will never leave nor forsake us. He will never give us more then we can handlle. I so related to your pain. You know the rainbows do come. Keep the faith sister. You are loved by the Father. He wants the Best for you. love n hugs. I am Blessed to meet you.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

skye2day..Wow...I can't thank you enough for your kind words of compassion! That was written a few years back.I'm in a good place now. Sure I am alone in some ways, but my Lord is always just a prayer away. I am blessed with my brain injured daughter who lives with me. She needs me, and that keeps me going!


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

This was truly beautifully written, bayoulady. My heart goes out to you for the difficulty you've been through. Thanks for sharing your plea and for sticking around. Divorce is not an easy thing to survive - so many beliefs shattered, dreams crushed and self esteem lost. You are strong, you are loved, you are needed.

All the best to you.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Peg, thank you for your pearls of wisdom! I am okay most days, and I do have a wonderful family to love on and be loved by. God is good, and He still uses me!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

Wow. What lovely words on this page. I am moved. Thank you.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

James, thanks for reading and your kind words!


cristina327 profile image

cristina327 6 years ago from Manila

Great hubs, great expressions of faith. I am deeply inspired to serve the Lord. Thank you for sharing it here at Hubpages. Blessings to you.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Cristina, nice to 'meet you". Thanks so much for reading and commenting! blessings to you,too!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Bayoulady, Beautiful and heart wrenching! This reminds me so of the cries of the soul in the Psalms… As you push through the pain HIS JOY is on the horizon! Be enouraged! What is so beautiful that even in your sorrow you beseech the Lord for HIS will in your life…

His presence with you is evident… Keep looking to the Lord He still has plans for you on this side of heaven... Again beautiful! PRAISE GOD! In HIS Love, May His Peace continue to be with you! Blessings!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

DeBorrah, First ...thank you for following me. I have been following you for a good while. Thanks for your sweet comments. Yes, He is as close as a morning prayer, my strong tower,and my holy refuge!


maggs224 profile image

maggs224 6 years ago from Sunny Spain

I was very touched by this hub, I am so glad that you went to God with this question and that His answer was no not yet...

I am also glad that you came to hubpages, I look forward to getting to know you better through your hubs. This one was an inspiration and a blessing.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hi Maggs224, thank you So much for the nice comments! I am so glad God still wants to use me!I want to encourage people not to give in to that voice that says,"What's the use of living?" I was so hesitant to write this, because I have such a wonderful and close family. I couldn't ask for better!It wasn't them. It was just the enemy trying to convince me I was no good to anyone. Like I said it was a long time ago, and I am fine now.


Troy C. profile image

Troy C. 6 years ago from Norfolk, VA

Wow, I'm Glad God brought you through that dark time,so you could continue to shine your light on the world. God bless you and keep you strong in Jesus name, Amen


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Troy C. -always glad to get your kind comments! Now HE has made me glad.


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 6 years ago from USA

I have a family member that feels this way. Every day she tells me how she wishes the Lord will take her home. Last month she lost her husband and grandson 14 days apart. She doesn’t have any help from her side of the family. I often try to remind her that God only gives her what she can handle. I know sharing this hub with her will brighten her day. Thanks for sharing it with us.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hello tlpoague,thanks for commenting!MY heart goes out your relative that has had her heart broken, TWICE in less than a month. You said she doesn't have any help from her family. Oh,but she DOES! That is you! Sometimes when people loose a loved one, they get mad.Even at God. That's okay. God can handle it,knowing that it will pass. It is part of grief. First is usually the shock and disbelief. Next is anger. Acceptance comes much later. What I am saying,believe it or not, is that we need be careful what we say about God if we sense resistance.There is no set time for anger, or any other stage.

I am so glad she has you!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

Jackie, What a powerful sharing of a dark time in your life. I can relate. Thanks for sharing. It's beautiful.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

thank you Denise! I have received a number of private emails about this article, of people who have been where I was. WAS. I once heard, and it is so true, "Suicide is a permanent to a temporay problem."


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

So true.


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 6 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Thanks for sharing the deep depression you had and conquered. You are a very brave person. I hope that you are having better times right now. Good luck.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

brakel2. thanks for commenting! I'm not that brave. God just held me that night. I'm so glad I didn't wrestle away from His loving kindness.I do still get depressed from time to time. I think we all do, but I don't want to be gone from this earth until it is my time.


exjwlaurie 6 years ago

This is so beautiful Jackie! And how blessed we are that you pressed on. You are a gift to all whom you come into contact with!

You set such a fine example for others with your powerful faith, and strong hope and the zeal with which you live your life! Your kids and grandkids are so blessed to have you in their lives. And what a wonderful impact you have on us here on hubpages!

God Bless you and keep you in His peace and His love! =)

Laurie


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hello laurie! I am happy to see you read my favorite hub of all my hubs.It has the lowest score, but I'm not taking it down. If my friends want to know the real me..they will know me after reading my profile and this hub! God is so good to me!


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 6 years ago from Oklahoma

Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings as you cried out for divine intervention . My personal experience with the Lord is that my knowledge of and relationship with Him, will see me through whatever comes my way and make me stronger in the process. Excellent hub.


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA Author

Hi Becky. I agree, He will see us through. Everything on this earth is temporary anyway!


mathira profile image

mathira 4 years ago from chennai

God can be your anchor and savior in times of your need and he always lends a helping hand to all.

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