May 21st 2011 - The Rapture DID occur.
Camping got it right for me.
Some people seem to think that Harold Camping, prophet of doom, is some sort of delusional old duffer with a morbid desire to see the earth brought dramatically to a cataclysmic ending. Even in the photo featured here, one can see the similarity that his shadow bears to Mr Burns from the Simpsons, another twisted old freak who takes advantage of the innocent. But I think you've all got him wrong.
I believe his prediction actually came true, only not quite on the scale that he had anticipated. But from my point of view, it was just as he stated. The rumbles, the quake, the eruption, the destruction - Rapture!! A truly Heavenly experience.
Ya see, on the evening of the 20th May, 2011, I made the mistake of ordering a severely 'hot' vindaloo curry for my dinner. It was truly delicious, but combined with the fact that I had been suffering the discomfort of mild constipation for a couple of days, I should not have been surprised at all by the effect that such a dangerous meal would have on me.
Like Camping, I went to bed on Friday night with a sense of doom, almost a certainty that tomorrow would be awesome. And I wasn't disappointed!
All day, 21st May, I could feel the tension growing, with several rumbles thrown in for good measure. I spent several hours reading the various hubs dedicated to Camping and his beliefs as I waited patiently for what I was sure was about to occur.
Would you believe it, at five minutes to 6pm, all hell began to break lose... the rumblings became major quakes.... there was earth movement.... everything you might expect during the built up to a massive eruption. It was unavoidable....I couldn't fight it. Praying that it would be over quickly, with a minimum of fuss, I raced to the porcelain throne, divested myself of my earthly garments, and braced myself for the predicted devastation.
Five minutes later.......RAPTURE!!!! the pain was gone! The relief was Heavenly bliss.
You see, the 'End' time was really a reference to MY end... my rear end. The Rapture was my relief at rejcting from my body all that is foul and evil. A cleansing, if you like.
And much like Harold Camping's Rapture..... really a great load of shit!!!
Welcome to the rest of your lives....... until the next predicted rapture.... or the next Curry Vindaloo.
More by this Author
Peter bought a parrot. A pretty little parrot. Polly had been the pet parrot of Patrick and Patricia Pendleton, but Patrick had gotten rid of the bird shortly after the sudden passing of his wife. ...
I was about 8 years old the first time I wore a skirt. To tell you the truth, it didn't even cause me a dilemma. I did it voluntarily. There was an excitement about it that made it an easy step to take. There was no...
It was two weeks before Christmas, and Lydia and Lauren couldn’t contain their excitement. For the first time ever, both were playing leading roles in the School Christmas show. Sheila felt at least...