My Agenda For When I Get To Heaven

OF COURSE, JESUS, WILL BE IN HEAVEN

For HE helped build this paradise-of-a-place with His own life. I will offer Him my total respect and personal worship upon my arrival in Heaven.
For HE helped build this paradise-of-a-place with His own life. I will offer Him my total respect and personal worship upon my arrival in Heaven.

Other Sights and Sounds in Heaven

I will  be able to see all of the pets I've loved and lost when I see the great place called Heaven.
I will be able to see all of the pets I've loved and lost when I see the great place called Heaven.
Some angles are assigned to teach music in Heaven. I will be among the first to sign-up for lessons and since in Heaven there will be no mistakes, then finally I can play a guitar.
Some angles are assigned to teach music in Heaven. I will be among the first to sign-up for lessons and since in Heaven there will be no mistakes, then finally I can play a guitar.
Ahhh, yes. Angels of all functions, sizes and descriptions. I want to spend a lot of time with these "ministering spirits" when I get to Heaven.
Ahhh, yes. Angels of all functions, sizes and descriptions. I want to spend a lot of time with these "ministering spirits" when I get to Heaven.
Heaven wouldn't be complete without our good friends, would it?
Heaven wouldn't be complete without our good friends, would it?
And when I get sleepy, if that be possible in Heaven, I'm sure that there is a good supply of sturdy hammocks for me to take a leisurely cat nap in mid-afternoon.
And when I get sleepy, if that be possible in Heaven, I'm sure that there is a good supply of sturdy hammocks for me to take a leisurely cat nap in mid-afternoon.
Talk about GREAT food! Heaven will always have great things to eat and not have to worry about weight gain.
Talk about GREAT food! Heaven will always have great things to eat and not have to worry about weight gain.
Master, and amateur musicians will meet daily in Heaven for THE BEST jam sessions heard by mortal or immortal man.
Master, and amateur musicians will meet daily in Heaven for THE BEST jam sessions heard by mortal or immortal man.

MITCH ALBOM

the one-time, legendary sportswriter for the Detroit Free-Press wrote a best seller entitled, "The First Five People You Meet When You Get To Heaven," and to say Albom's book was great, is like saying Frank Sinatra had a lot of hit songs. Albom created a stir with his personal view of Heaven, death, and then life after death with his book that reprinted no telling how many times.

I don't know about you, but I have to respect Albom's boldness and courage to publish a book of this nature for the subject of Heaven has mostly been kept in the organized church. And to be honest, I wish I knew more about this place of total peace and happiness. Okay. Let me go a step further. I wish more preachers knew more about Heaven. Then "sheep" like me wouldn't find ourselves in a mental funk when we hear one minister describe Heaven one way and then another minister say that "he" went to Heaven in a dream and saw trains like the "L Train" in Chicago. Possible? Yes. Probable? Don't ask me. I am afraid to elaborate.

From what I have read of the Holy Bible pertaining to Heaven, I do know that Heaven is a place where the regenerated of fallen man will go although they do not see themselves fit to live in such a place. And heaven, according to Jesus, is not going to have in its residence, self-righteous, judgemental, or vain souls who look down on people such as myself. Jesus taught more about Hell than He did Heaven. I've always wondered why.

But to not start a theological debate that sometimes ends with harsh words and hurt feelings, I am going to try Mitch Albom's approach to Heaven and give you my personal agenda for my impending arrival to this place that I do believe exists.

My list is simple. There are things that I expect, things that I will not want to do, and just my overall up-front intentions in the here and now that I would love to be set in motion if this is my last hub before I leave this dimension and enter the dimension of Heaven.

WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, I DO NOT WANT TO . . .

  1. Pick cotton. I did this as a child. And it was always hot, sweltry days when I helped my dad and mom with the sharecropping that kept us in food and clothing.
  2. Get up early. I did this all of my working years on earth. I'd love to be awakened around 8:30 if there IS an 8:30 or morning. I just realized that the Bible states that in Heaven "time will be no more," so I would like a wake-up call for "sometime."
  3. Wash dishes. Yep. Helped my mom when I was a teenager. Now help my wife with washing the dishes. Not a job that I want in Heaven. I guess they will have dishes up there or out there, because the Bible speaks of the "marriage supper of the Lamb," so they will have to have dishes there. I would think that even Jesus, the Guest of (all) Honor, would love to see us eat with utensils and off of plates.
  4. Go with my wife shopping. In Heaven surely men can take it easy while our wives shop until they, well, they cannot drop since they are in their spiritual bodies, so they can shop all they want to while us husbands sit around (all we want) and talk of our lives on earth.
  5. Answer a phone. I hate the sound of my phone ringing. I know that it sounds harsh, but I can't help it. In the newspaper business, I heard a lot of phones ringing five days a week and friends, it can get old. Quick. Please, Lord Jesus, make sure that there is not an AT&T, T-Mobile, Verizon, Sprint or Tracfone up there. Please?
  6. Mow my grass. Again. Did that enough on earth. And Lord Jesus, if you do have grass, it has to be the grass YOU planted that never needs mowing, right? But if it does, I would cut it with a new mower from a Home Depot or Lowe's you just have to have in Heaven. Lord, I want you to remember, although you have a special place in your heart for women, we men have to have our Home Depot or Lowe's so "we" can have some pleasure too.

WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, PLEASE KEEP THESE PEOPLE AWAY FROM ME . . .

  1. Nosy people. I cannot tolerate that now. Why should I in Heaven?
  2. Self-righteous people. Churches are not built by self-righteous, but humble-hearted people with a "servant's heart." I just do not want to socialize with people who "think" they are a bit better than us common people.
  3. Combative people. I hate arguing. Especially with people who are not fully-educated on the subject we are arguing about.
  4. Short-tempered people. Need I explain?
  5. Self-absorbed people. If Jerry Seinfeld is to live with me in Heaven, Lord would you take his narcissistic personality from him for I do not want to spend eternity talking ONLY about Jerry or those like him.
  6. Telemarketers. I don't care if they live near me in Heaven, just don't call me selling something like a broom that sweeps floors by itself.

WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, I WILL EXPECT . . .

  1. A Friendly Greeting, not a person who worked for the DMV on earth who is used to barking, "next!"
  2. To Be Accepted, by everyone there in Heaven. Not just put with those of my lowly-state. I want the wealthy to sit down and eat with me and my friends who never had wealth to speak of. And get along.
  3. Good Food. Not that this is the ONLY reason for me to live in Heaven, but I have heard wiser students of the Bible teach that there will be enough food to feed mankind. Sounds great to me. Oh, Dear Lord Jesus, I hate to quibble, but can you have some fried chicken with potato salad?
  4. Quiet Time, especially somewhere after we sing and praise Jesus, The Son of God, for about two thousand years. Then a nice, quiet nap in one of the always-available hammocks hanging between the lovely Cypress or Oak trees they have up, or out there in Heaven.
  5. To See My Pets, all of them. All of my pets I had on earth and they either died or some jerk killed them. Give me my pets, some good food and company and well, "I'm in Heaven."
  6. No Pains, in my body. I hear tell that we will have new bodies in Heaven that do not grow old or get sick. Where is the line for signing-up?

WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, SURROUND ME WITH THESE PEOPLE . . .

  1. Jesus. After all, He did make this place, Heaven, possible.
  2. Angels. I want to meet my Guardian Angel for he or she surely had their hands full taking care of me while on earth.
  3. Mother Teresa. And hear her talk about her passionate love of God, orphans, and sickly children of Calcutta, New Dehli and India.
  4. The Apostle Paul for he was the wisest man, next to Jesus, and King Solomon. I will need someone smart near me. To tell me when to keep my mouth shut.
  5. My wife. She deserves an eternity of peace and quiet having endured me on earth and I would miss her if I were to be there without her.
  6. ALL OF MY HUBBER FRIENDS for in the past eleven months, all of the Special Writers have helped, advised and influenced me so much on HubPages. I surely want these special friends with me. Then, I can finally see them face-to-face.

I told you that my list was simple. And yes, short. So there is "my" agenda for living in Heaven with you.

I can just see the face of Jesus as He reviews my last few years on earth. He smiles some. Frowns some. And is totally-fair on all accounts.

Then He says with a smile, "Ken, you made it. Although some of your work on earth was confusing, I still see where you had your heart."

"Thank you, Lord Jesus, for allowing me inside your kingdom of Heaven," I will happily reply.

As I start to skip my way to the Pearly Gates, I hear Him say, "Ken, this hub you wrote on April 30, 2012, your time, about "your" agenda upon entering Heaven, this segment where you talk about "what you WON'T Do," well, Ken, we need to have a good, long talk before you take another step.

Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but it's a good thing I had my wife put my PC in my coffin.




THIS IS JUST MY IMAGINATION

But surely in Heaven, there has to be more than one peaceful scenes like this to steal-away to when things get hectic and just meditate.
But surely in Heaven, there has to be more than one peaceful scenes like this to steal-away to when things get hectic and just meditate.

More by this Author


Comments 32 comments

internpete profile image

internpete 4 years ago from At the Beach in Florida

A very thoughtful and interesting hub! This is a great reminder. It seems like many people forget to even think about heaven, or hell for that matter. Thanks!


anndavis25 profile image

anndavis25 4 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

Hi funny man. I'm sure you will make it into the Kingdom.

My pastor once said: If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans...so even though you have a list, that's O.K. I am sure you have many treasures waiting.

Love, Ann


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Every time I read you and feel your sweet, kind FUNNY spirit, it's perfectly clear to me why yours is a huge following of fellow writers who are also fellow-humans and who just love you, Kenneth. You do without trying what many people from every walk of life desires to do - LIVE fully and openly, being loved and loving what and whom you truly love and offering no justification for it - just the example of YOU is its best recommendation. You 'bring 'em in! Hugs.


Theeyeballkid profile image

Theeyeballkid 4 years ago

Beautiful Kenneth and quite profound. I would like to go to the same place as you. I dont like people (no matter how well intentioned) telling me how to live or what to do or what to think on this earth, and I truely believe the good Lord doesn't like that either.


meow48 profile image

meow48 4 years ago from usa

thankyou, you know when i feel a little down, after reading the book, and talking with Him, you are next. thanks. say, did you ever here the parable about the difference between heaven and hell? Picture a banquet with everything imaginable and people sitting around the table, only one arm can move and that particular hand is holding a spoon, a very very long spoon so that no matter what they do, they cannot feed themselves. That is hell. Picture the same table, the same banquet, the same conditions of the people, yet no one goes hungry. Why? Because they were able to feed each other. That is heaven. take care.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Oh Kenneth, you are such a great writer. You never cease to amaze me with the topics you come up with. I love your list and I know without any doubt you will make it there!

Great hub!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

I am never disappointed when I read your hubs! I always know I am in for a treat and this hub was no different. I know they say if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans, I think if you want to make God laugh read him one of Ken's hubs!

I have a feeling there will be a Lowe's or Home Depot in heaven just for you.

I absolutely loved your idea of meeting all of your old pets in heaven, what a warm and wonderful thought. So many good years spent with those loving pets, wouldn't that be great!

I can safely bet we all would like to stay away from the people you don't want to see in heaven.

As always a wonderful hub; voted up, funny, awesome and SHARING.


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

Ken, this is wonderful and it certainly brought a tear to my eye. As my family and friends pass on I do literally ask myself, I wonder what they are doing now? or today? I miss them dearly but I have faith we will all be reunited to openly share our love and discuss our respective journeys. And to have our beloved pets by our side is the sweetest of thoughts.

By the way, I loved your list of the people you'd like to meet. I'd like to add Pope John Paul II.

May all of your days here and thereafter be filled with love, joy and peace


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Ken...where on earth have you been?? Long time no see. I love this hub, buddy and you can bet I'll be one of your neighbors up there.

I also promise to never call, because I also hate the phone!! At least 10 times a day I'm tempted to cut the wires!

I think, if any of those "less than pleasant" individuals, (e.g Jerry Springer, etc) make it through the Pearly gates.....they will have their own separate little community on the far-left cloud & only be able to annoy one another!

Now, THAT's what I call Heaven!

Good to read you once again. This is awesome & funny!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANK YOU A LOT internpete. Me, I try NOT to think of hell all that much for in that place, there will be no HubPages, MY DEAR FOLLOWERS, or fried chicken, my all-time favorite dish. Besides chocolate gravy over hot biscuits. In heaven, I can wager, and win, that I will see YOU, My Followers on Hubs and we can all dine all we want WITHOUT ANY WEIGHT GAIN. Thats heaven, my friend!

Thanks so much!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear ann,

your comments SERIOUSLY humble me. Hey, I tell you what. When we all get to heaven, we can take turns serving each other vanilla or strawberry milkshakes that do not add poundage to our frames. Then some hubbing on PCs that never freeze up and our hubs UP THERE will be followed by MILLIONS! What a great time.

See you there!!!!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Nellieanna, "Thank YOU kindly for your sweet comments." Im not sure that Im worthy of such love as yours. I am TOTALLY BLESSED with such talented writers as yourself, and all on this hub comment section. And the rest of my followers are all "literary stars." I am just blessed to be here with you all.

I hope that YOU have a COOL and SAFE day, Nellieanna. And keep up your great work.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Theeyeballkid . . .who does? I try to not force my beliefs on anyone. I give people credit for being intelligent enough to make wise choices. They do not need me telling them what's right or wrong. Thanks for your insightful comment. I appreciate you for that.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

meow48, wow, what a deep and profound picture of heaven and hell. When I dine at the table in heaven, my thrill, besides the good food, would be SERVING the many millions at THAT table headed by THE Master.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, tillsontitan! Long time. No see. What have you been up to? I guess you are busy with other projects now that Spring has sprung, huh?

Thank YOU so MUCH for your sweet remarks. I value YOU and your encourgement. And the support of ALL my followers who mean the world to me.

And when I venture to read YOUR hubs, or those of my hub followers, I am usually made to smile and smile big!

Thanks!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, missolive, yours is the sensitive comment that touched my heart. My parents are there too. My mom left in Aug. 2010, dad in Sept. 06. We can only imagine with our mortal, fragmented minds, what heaven is like. Imagine a perfect sunny day with the birds singing and music all around. Smiles as far as the eye can see. NO sickness, war, hatred or racism. That is a day in heaven. And oh yes, NO satan.

Thats the best part.

I love you and your comment!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, fpherj48 . . .been right here on hubs most everyday. Where have YOU been, huh? None of my business, right? LOL.

Thank you for the sweet comment and nice visit. Please, and I beg you, visit with me more often. I need as many smiles these days as possible.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Catgypsy . . .I didnt forget YOU! No way. I want to thank YOU so much for your kind and caring remark. Me getting to heaven will be NOTHING I have done. But by the mercy of God. Thats it. And I will promise you this on May 2, 2012, you and I will see each other there. And laugh for a long time about the times we had on earth. All of our followers will be there and hey . . .YOUR IDEA OF US ALL GETTING TOGETHER AT ONE TIME . . .WILL FINALLY TAKE PLACE!!!! WOW!

Talk to you and Heidi later. Festus is napping now.

Kenneth


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

But I don't understand why today is the first time you have shown up on my thread!!..in a long time.

Well, anyway.....glad I found your name today. I've definitely been here as well. Actually, I've spent way too much time on my duff in front of the computer!!


Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

Pamela Kinnaird W 4 years ago from Maui and Arizona

What a unique hub -- and such a cute ending. I really enjoyed this. When I get to heaven the first thing I want to find out is WHY there had to be spiders on earth. Couldn't all the other insects suffice? That's the only thing on my list so far -- for when I get to heaven. Other than that, I'll go with the flow.

Voting up and awesome.


Suhail and my dog profile image

Suhail and my dog 4 years ago from Mississauga, ON

Super-mega-awesome. Very creative indeed. Precisely, my list too, although I would like to be provided an opportunity to hike with many of my dogs past and present as much as I want, wherever I want, and with whoever (I want to accompany me).


mollymeadows profile image

mollymeadows 4 years ago from The Shire

Kenneth, I'm with you. Fried chicken and potato salad. A beach section with hammocks. All your old animal friends and hopefully all your human ones, too. Jesus laughing at my jokes (well, I can dream!)

"In my Father's house there are many mansions..." Hope there are lots of old clapboard houses with big porches, too.

Loved this hub!


goodlife10 profile image

goodlife10 4 years ago

enjoyed this hub. voted up!


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

This is our second meet and I just want to tell you how overly fond I have grown of your work and of you Sir as a person!

Imagination is one thing you possess in great depth! This hub may seem simple but there is an intriguing simplicity to it which makes me think about my agenda when I reach up top with you :)

In fact! I believe all readers out here will think about their agenda once when they read this great hub of yours!

Beautifully done :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, fpherj48,

I am truly glad also that we met again. We will have to correspond a lot more in the future, for I really enjoy your work and of course, these sweet comments.

Thanks again and have a safe weekend.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Pamela Kinnaird,

nice to meet you. I agree with your agenda item about spiders. Id like to know that too. Hey, I invite you to become one of my followers so we can stay in touch with each other's work.

Thanks for the comment and vote. Both are much-appreciated.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Suhail and my dog . . .thank you kindly for your warm comments and compliments. You are greatly appreciated, my talented friend.

You can visit anytime you like and keep up the great work.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear mollymeadows, man, on man, how I agree with you. Fried chicken with no calories! Potato salad perfect. And walks on the beach with no broken bottles. Yeah. A great time awaits us. I want to see you among the first people I meet in heaven. Okay?

And while we are here on earth, would you PLEASE be one of my followers? I am moved by your candor and straight-forward writing style.

Your friend,

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANKS, goodlife10, for your comment. I appreciate so much, YOUR comment and those on this hub. I shudder to think what I would do without you great people. So I try to never think dark thoughts like that.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Rahul0324, thank you for your warm comments that I cherish. I appreciate how selfless your tone is toward me in my hubs. You are truly a warm spirit among us on earth. Keep on being nice and saying nice things and I promise that something good will happen to you.

Kenneth


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

Hi Ken, boy am I right there with ya!

Sounds great! Good food, friends, pets, rest and relaxation, some good music!

count me in!

Chris


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Chris,

You got it, buddy. I will, if I get there first, but seriously, YOU will be enjoying heaven long before I arrive, look for you and you have me a fresh cup of coffee and a juicy hamburger ready. Deal?

Thanks for the great comment. God bless you.

Kenneth

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