My Broken Road to Grace: Post Eighteen (Are you Secure in God's Love for You?)
Years ago I had a silly habit of asking my girl friend "Do you Love me?" Admittedly it was a sort of off the cuff question and she finally got tired of hearing it all the time. One day as I had tossed it out there once again flippantly and without even thinking really. She looked at me and through gritted teeth smiled and said "Yes I do, You know that but I really do not like that question, over and over."
I guess I had let that little game wear out it's welcome and even though it took a little while to adjust my thinking because I had really let it become a habit. I did however successfully do so and much to my girlfriends happiness, it was no longer part of our conversation.
During that time, when I was trying to make myself quit saying those 4 little words, I was lamenting to a friend at work one day over lunch that I had the habit and that it had gotten to be a bit of a problem. It was what he the said however that really sort of put me on my ear. He listened to my story, sort of sniffed and with a very Barney Fife look on his face said "Well, you know what the problem is, your subconscious is causing you to ask the question because you aren't really sure. What you have to do now is figure out what is making you wonder." I sort of laughed it off and said "Nope buddy, I don't really think that's it." and went on with my lunch as if that was the end of it.
Sadly however, it wasn't and that seed my friend had planted in my mind began to grow regardless of whether it should have or not. Over the next several weeks, I thought about it more and more until it began to occupy a good portion (too much really) of my thought process. My thinking pretty well ran the gambit from "OK, maybe there is something to this" to "No I am just being a paranoid jerk" to "OK, I must be doing something wrong and maybe it is just my insecurity."
All of this ultimately unnecessary thinking finally culminated one night as she and I had a really serious conversation on the matter over dinner one night. After I had laid out my concerns and finished up by once again asking the ill fated question. She sat quietly looking at me half smiling. For a minute I panicked thinking OK dummy, you have really blown it this time. Then she spoke and this is what she said my friends, once and for all putting this silly issue to rest in my mind as well as hers. She said "Kevin Washburn, look at me. You and I have been through a lot, more than most people could take and yet I am still here. I think we can both agree that I have had valid reasons to end this relationship and if I had, nobody would have blamed me. You haven't been the easiest person to deal with, in fact, sometimes just downright difficult but I love you and I want to be with you and that is why I am. So please consider that the next time doubt starts to creep into your thinking and let's just not do this anymore. I want to be with you, not anyone else and I always will."
Man you talk about a good old fashioned hosing down veiled in a compliment. Down right difficult? In the end however everything she had said was dead on the money and honestly since that day I have never again questioned her love and I don't think I ever will.
As I read my study verse this morning the above story came to mind as a great analogy for the way that Christ loves us. We certainly don't deserve it, and as frail creatures often make the mistake of questioning whether we are good enough to be loved by Him but you see it simply doesn't work that way. As Humans prone to make mistakes, sometimes big ones, we are destined to fail, to be "difficult" if you will. Even still, he stands there, strongly and forever ensconced in His love for us, willing to accept us with all our frailties because that is where he wants to be.
Romans 8:38-39 says: " For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Wow, what an amazing and all encompassing promise! Nothing, literally nothing, can separate us from from the Love of God through Christ Jesus.
Just as my girl settled it once and for all leaving me firmly founded and secure in her love for me. Jesus Christ, there in that one statement, makes it absolutely unquestionable as to how much He loves us as His children, deserving or not. As if that wasn't enough however it goes one step further, If my girlfriend, who is human and subject to the urgings of the flesh can love me that much and not give up on me through the bad times, how much more must Jesus be capable of loving us as He, perfect, without sin or blemish, gave Himself for us that we might be saved?
My friends it is the gift to end all gifts, the love to end all loves and it is there for you right now today, good or bad, rich or poor, no matter what you might have done. All you have to do is reach out and take it and you will find yourself nestled safely and secure it the NEVER ending love of Jesus.
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