Pet Peeves of a Tarot Reader Part Four

 Let me first start off by explaining that I do not work at a shop that specializes in tarot readings. What I do is, according to the standards of Church Street Marketplace, a performance. Because there is no actual product to sell. Because of this, I am not allowed to charge for the readings. I can only ask for voluntary donations.

These are the kinds of customers I attract because of this rule.

Bottle of Whiskey

 This guy was with his friends and he had this wild overly caffinated attitude. After I read him...

BOW: Wow, that was really dead on. Oh man, all I have are credit cards. Here.
*He pulls out a bottle of whiskey and drops it in the bucket. I yank it out and hand it back to him.*
ME: I can't take this.
BOW: I'm sorry, I don't have any money on me.
ME: *Trying to remain professional* That's fine, it's not a big deal.

I'm in the middle of Church Street and there are families all around. Why don't you just throw some joints in there while you're at it? All in all, not nessecarilly sucky, and there are moments when I wish I had just taken it. At least he was trying to compensate me but he clearly wasn't thinking about how it would make me look to other potential customers, even if I put it in my pocket.

Handful of Pennies girl

 HOPG: Can I get reading?
Me: Sure. (I read her cards, honestly. She doesn't seem to happy because as always I don't tell my clients what they want to hear.)
HOPG: *dissapointed* how much.
Me: *Trying to keep a smile on my face, more for the benefit of on lookers* It's just a donation.
HOPG: What's the donation for?
Me: It's for me. I can only accept donations when I'm out here.
HOPG: *Drops three pennies into the donations bucket and walks away*

Old Drunk Lady

 Memorial Day, right? Really busy weekend with plenty of people on Church Street so I should be making some cash, right?

Nope. Five free readings, only two paying customers. And this charming old lady with the rubenesque build, filthy hair and a large pink shirt which tightly hugs her robust frame and barely able to stand.

ODL: Do me for free.
ME: .....No.
ODL: Come on, do me so I can tell everyone how good you are?
ME: Have a nice day ma'am.

Yes, I really need the word of mouth advertising of a person whom people are cutting a wide berth because of the fragrant and overwhelming scent of vodka, cigaratte smoke and swamp ass. Oh yeah, Sci-Fi Channel here I come.

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