'Prepping' for the New year

Full cupboards

I'm ready for the fiscal cliff with full cupboards.
I'm ready for the fiscal cliff with full cupboards. | Source

I don’t know about the rest of you, but the Apocalypse is on its way and I’m ‘prepping’.

Let’s think about all this ‘prepping’ panic going on lately. It’s become big news. There’s even a weekly television show for “Doomsday Preppers” that my husband and I have watched and discussed at length. It’s entertaining but beyond that I’ve found some of the extremes these people have undergone to be downright ridiculous at times.

Anyone would have to be paranoid to bury themselves in a bunker twenty feet below ground. Not to mention having to deal with claustrophobia and the fear of never getting to breathe fresh air again. Better yet, what’s the point in being the only survivor of a nuclear holocaust? Think about it. Family and friends are suddenly non-existent and a world of radioactive ashes awaits you. Consider endlessly eating canned food and drinking bottled water. So much for those gourmet meals! Overhead, the prospect of a world capable of producing safe food and potable water would not be possible for years. Oh, and let’s not forget nature and the animals that no longer exist. The few that did survive would be cancer sticks on their last leg.

But I’ve thought about this and how I could cheat the system. What if a person were to create an underground world capable of sustaining life? Wait! Give me a chance to elaborate before you ditch my idea. What if an entire city were developed below ground? Ray Bradbury was on the right track when he put cities inside of bubbles, and he was way before his time. All I’m saying is with enough people and resources this could happen.

Surely someone in Hollywood with their billions has already developed a ‘super-city’ below ground. That would be an excellent use of their money and a very wise investment. Hm, if I had money falling out my rear I would consider that as an option. Then I could live forever, safe and cozy in my own little underground bubble.

I’m betting the government has already beaten me to this. Surely the president has his little ‘capsule’ carved out below ground so he can continue juggling political issues with a non-existent society after all the radioactive dust settles. Politics always survive the worst catastrophes, right? First he would have to watch out for himself. Then he might consider the few remaining zombies overhead as they plod through the poisonous fumes, their bodies riddled with lesions as globs of putrid skin hangs from their faces. But hey, a vote is a vote, right?

Here’s my point—why bother to survive if there’s nothing left to salvage on this earth? Get good with your soul and move on! I’d much rather face the pearly gates and see all my loved ones with halos and wings than covered with pus-oozing sores. Wouldn’t you?

In the meantime my prepping is to accumulate some back-up canned goods since grocery prices will inevitably go up, and a generator in case the power goes out. I’m not going to dig a bunker because if it’s the end of the world, well, it is. I’m not going to fight the inevitable or stay behind if all those I love and care about are gone. What’s the point? Heaven or hell…which one would I choose? That’s pretty much a no-brainer for me.

Think about it!

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