SOCIAL ETIQUETTE ON THE FACE BOOK PAGE

Respecting Boundaries

I personally encounter many men on the internet who want girlfriends or wives. Many of them assume because you are single you want the same thing. I am on the face book page to share my blogs and invite people to my kathas and presentations, besides connecting with people with common interests of both genders. It seems to me if you are trying to connect with a life partner, you would not like use the face book page to do that. It is better to meet someone at a spiritual community or meet someone through a friend or family member. There are also non-profit groups and interests groups out there where you would more likely find an appropriate life partner.

What men need to know is that there is a setting for "dating" on the face book page. A person should look for that kind of setting on the person's page. When a person does not have that on their page, connect with them as a friend only not as a potential mate.

I have had way too many marriage proposals via the face book page from men I do not know and have not met in person who are from India, Guyana and even the United States. I am hardly alone in this situation. An older man, who is a face book friend from India, told me that a lot of Indian men want to come to the United States, so they try to get a woman interested in marrying them. Watch out women and do not fall for this kind of behavior. I have warned some of the younger girls and women about these characters who try this kind of tactic.

One woman told me that she was hit on by men so much that she posted on her page that she was engaged. She did this to cut down on this kind of behavior. It is so sad to see women being harassed like that. It is not fun to have to put up with this constant harassment. .

When I worked as a waitress a number of years ago, I would get marriage proposals from men all the time. Men asked me for dates all the time. This also happened when I was in broadcasting. They would call the station and say they liked the sound of my voice. Then the guy would ask me for a date. Other female radio announcers got this, too. I was curious about if waiters get that kind of a thing. One of the waiters I worked with said he occasionally received phone numbers from female customers. Waitresses who worked there were asked daily for dates and marriage proposals. My mother worked as a waitress and she had the same problem before she got a marriage proposal from my dad. So you see this is a long standing problem for women.

Boundaries are important for women. Men have to respect that women want to interact without having to be constantly harassed by men who want dates and want wives and girlfriends. Please use the dating sites and agencies for that purpose. Some want to date via the face book. Look for the "dating" setting on their page first before asking a woman for a date.

It is best to start with merely being a friend. Don't say to a woman, "You're so cute." It turns a woman off. It makes a woman think you are only concerned about how a woman looks, not who is she as a human being. Women value relationships not men who want the outer beauty only. Realize this is the 21st century, and it is about time men respect and treat women as human beings in their own rite.

I am more impressed with someone who shares my common interests and has good character. The inner person is the most important aspect, no the outer person. This is why I do not favor beauty contests. They focus on the outer person too much. You will never see a contest in which a woman must write an essay on how she would solve a problem in society or provide a creative solution to a very important life question. What has she done to make the world a better place? That is what character is about. The same for a men, also. You see contests for body building, but never a contest on the inner man.

I would like to propose to those affluent people out there an idea. Sponsor a scholastic contest where the person has to show that he or she has character and problem solving abilities. It would bring a new consciousness to the world. We need more people who have great inner qualities and those people need to be recognized more than beauty queens and body builders. The world would be a much better place if we valued the inner person, not the outer person.

JAI SHRI INNER BEAUTY! JAI SHRI MA! JAI SHRI SOCIAL CHANGE!

Radhapriestess

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Comments 11 comments

Oztinato profile image

Oztinato 9 months ago from Australia

Some good ideas here.

Facebook started as a kind of dating website didn't it? People assume if you have a general Facebook page you are open to meeting strangers don't they?

I don't belong to Facebook and avoid dating websites due to past problems with strange people on them.


swalia profile image

swalia 9 months ago

This is a common problem women face on social media sites.


radhapriestess profile image

radhapriestess 8 months ago from Minneapolis, MN Author

No, face book did not start as a dating website. It is a place to connect with people with common interests, to make friends and connect with friends. There is a dating setting, so use it for that purpose. If a person does not have it on their page, then they are not interested. So then respect their boundaries. Yes, women do face this problem way more than men do. Thanks for reading.


Oztinato profile image

Oztinato 8 months ago from Australia

If we use social media we are opening the door to unlimited strangers.

Even Hubpages has a fan mail device with the option of making a romantic overture! I don't agree with such uses of thd service.


radhapriestess profile image

radhapriestess 8 months ago from Minneapolis, MN Author

Did not know that Hubpages has such a thing. I get it more on face book. I would agree that it is not very desirable to have such a link. I do know that women get it way more than men do when it comes to being hit on for such things.


Oztinato profile image

Oztinato 8 months ago from Australia

Radha

most men other than the incredibly good looking have to ask out dozens of women to get one positive response. Therefor they are constantly on the prowl. Most women even quite ordinary ones just need to snap their fingers to find a man. True this applies to the lower level of human interaction but it seems to be generally the case. Hence men are constantly asking women out and being rejected. This can be demeaning and depressing to the man. It is regarded as impolite and stupid to turn down a woman because of this problem. Very good looking men are usually also asked out constantly by women. Often they don't care and take full advantage of the women who also don't generally care if they are used when the man is very good looking. In this case the women don't complain. So from the perspective of an ordinary man it is hard to see why women complain about them but don't complain about the very good looking man.


radhapriestess profile image

radhapriestess 8 months ago from Minneapolis, MN Author

Most women do not ask men out. It is the men who generally ask women out. Good looks is lower on the list of most women's requirements. They are looking for the inner qualities and having a quality relationship. This is what these men do not understand. They would be more successful by first establishing a friendship of common interests through a spiritual community, non-profit volunteering, or an interest group. That is why they have problems. They do not get that being so upfront turns most women off. I am much more interested in someone who shares my common interests who talks about them with me first. Teenage girls are more obsessed about a guy's looks because they have less life experience. When a woman hits 30, she realizes it's a the inner qualities which are more important. When you live with someone, this is much more important.


Oztinato profile image

Oztinato 8 months ago from Australia

radha

I agree with you. Why then use social media then? If we use social media women should accept that this negative stuff will happen. Its unfortunate but that is the reality.

In most men's experience women are falling over themselves for men who are very good looking or rich no matter what ages the women are. This is very common everywhere. I have joined spiritual groups and find the exact same thing there as well. The richer a man is the more women are interested. Men are very cynical about this as they see it on a day to day basis.


radhapriestess profile image

radhapriestess 8 months ago from Minneapolis, MN Author

I am on the internet for writing and to get people to come to my kathas, not for dating. Women do get it a whole lot more than men and that is my point. I am not interested in a man's money at all. I work to support myself and many women feel the same way. I never hear women talk about a man's money period in conversations. Most of them tell about their challenges and struggles.


Oztinato profile image

Oztinato 8 months ago from Australia

Radha

my point is that it's the men who have to ask women out and the women who decide (as you agree) therefore how can a woman complain about getting asked out?


radhapriestess 8 months ago

It is clear that we agree to disagree. You do not live with the problems of women. A lot of women are just sick of this kind of thing.

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