Why I Chose Not To Have Pre-Marital Sex
Sex is a wonderful and absolutely awesome experience. Sex is a GOOD thing! That being said, I consider sex to be give and give, not give and take or take and take. For this reason, I made a decision early in my life to abstain from pre-marital sex.
Here are my reasons:
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I did not want to disappoint my parents. My mother talked to me about it at an early age, and she stressed the importance of abstinence.
"The code of morals will never change," she said. As each year of my life passes, I have found that statement to be true.
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I witnessed negative repercussions in the lives of my friends, relatives and co-workers.
For example, "Sherry," an employee at a company where I worked, lived with her boyfriend. When I left the company to accept another job she was still single. She could not understand why her boyfriend would not marry her. She was ready for a permanent commitment, and she wanted to have children.
However, her boyfriend felt content with the way things were. He was in control, and Sherry felt trapped.
Later on I learned they parted ways. Living together and having pre-marital sex did not benefit Sherry. She was not only left alone, she had given up valuable years of her life, and she ended up being hurt.
I am also acquainted with friends who have had sexual relations on the second or third date. Suddenly, either the man or woman has backed off, saying they just want to be friends. This has left the other person confused, heartbroken and disillusioned.
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because it would have lowered my self-esteem. Since foreplay and intercourse are actions I don't take lightly, I would have felt like the person I gave into trespassed, with my permission, into a very private part of me. Also, too many times I had witnessed those who had pre-marital sex to, later on, disrespect, even eventually despise each other. I did not want to take that chance.
At age sixteen I began dating a boy. We dated for two years. We fought constantly about sex. He talked me into petting which made me feel extremely guilty and unsure of myself. He began to slowly gain control over me, and I was uncomfortable with that.
One night he almost talked me into giving up my virginity.
I asked him, "Will you marry me?"
He paused for a long time. Then, hesitatingly, he said, "Yes."
I knew, at that moment, he did not mean it. After two years, he broke up with me. I never heard from him again.
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because of the risks involved. I did not want to risk getting pregnant out of wedlock and face others who would then know I engaged in sex. I wanted to maintain a good reputation.
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I wanted to look forward to my wedding night- the grand finale to the most important day of my life. After vowing, "I do" to my marriage partner, my best friend, and, now, my lover, I didn't want our special moment to have been over prematurely. I wanted our first time to be a total, personal commitment. By giving myself to my husband I was expressing to him these words, "I LOVE you! You are special to me. From my heart I am totally committed to you and to no other. This is my expression of love for you in full form, one hundred percent!"
I have attended many weddings wherein the couples had been having sex for a long time. They could not wait for the day to be over, as it was, to them, an inconvenience and an expense. The magic was gone, and they had nothing to look forward to on their wedding night.
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I wanted to be a positive example to my children. I knew the day would come when I would have to talk to them about sex. If they asked me if I waited until I got married to have sex, I wanted to be able to answer them honestly and to be a role model to them.
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I am a Christian, and I believe what God's word states regarding sex. In I Corninthians 6:18, St. Paul wrote, "Flee fornication." Fornication is defined in the dictionary as "voluntary sexual intercourse between an unmarried woman and an unmarried man." The LIVING NEW TESTAMENT reads that no other sin affect the body as this one does. In Chapter 7, verse 9, Paul added that if a couple can't control themselves, it is better to marry than to burn with lust."
I have never found the Bible to be wrong about anything. The words of the Bible warned me of the consequences of premarital sex, and I chose to not take any chances.
I constantly hear remarks about it no longer being the dark ages, that it is a new century, and "things are different now." To use these times of growth and change as justification to have sex outside of marriage is just not reasonable.
--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because it increases the chance of sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, abortions and AIDS. All of these are not good results, and one's life can be complicated forever.
--Finally, I chose not to have pre-marital sex for the most important reason of all: for me, for my own personal health and well-being. If I like myself, which is showing self-concern (not being self-centered) and if I respect myself, then I possess the greatest gift of all, peace of mind.
I have no problem, nor do I judge, anyone on this planet who chooses to have sex outside of marriage. It's just not for me.
That being said, this choice has simplified my life. I have no regrets.
Blessings, Sparklea :)
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