Why I Chose Not To Have Pre-Marital Sex

Faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love   I Corinthians 13
Faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love I Corinthians 13 | Source

Sex is a wonderful and absolutely awesome experience. Sex is a GOOD thing! That being said, I consider sex to be give and give, not give and take or take and take. For this reason, I made a decision early in my life to abstain from pre-marital sex.

Here are my reasons:

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I did not want to disappoint my parents. My mother talked to me about it at an early age, and she stressed the importance of abstinence.

"The code of morals will never change," she said. As each year of my life passes, I have found that statement to be true.

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I witnessed negative repercussions in the lives of my friends, relatives and co-workers.

For example, "Sherry," an employee at a company where I worked, lived with her boyfriend. When I left the company to accept another job she was still single. She could not understand why her boyfriend would not marry her. She was ready for a permanent commitment, and she wanted to have children.

However, her boyfriend felt content with the way things were. He was in control, and Sherry felt trapped.

Later on I learned they parted ways. Living together and having pre-marital sex did not benefit Sherry. She was not only left alone, she had given up valuable years of her life, and she ended up being hurt.

I am also acquainted with friends who have had sexual relations on the second or third date. Suddenly, either the man or woman has backed off, saying they just want to be friends. This has left the other person confused, heartbroken and disillusioned.

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because it would have lowered my self-esteem. Since foreplay and intercourse are actions I don't take lightly, I would have felt like the person I gave into trespassed, with my permission, into a very private part of me. Also, too many times I had witnessed those who had pre-marital sex to, later on, disrespect, even eventually despise each other. I did not want to take that chance.

At age sixteen I began dating a boy. We dated for two years. We fought constantly about sex. He talked me into petting which made me feel extremely guilty and unsure of myself. He began to slowly gain control over me, and I was uncomfortable with that.

One night he almost talked me into giving up my virginity.

I asked him, "Will you marry me?"

He paused for a long time. Then, hesitatingly, he said, "Yes."

I knew, at that moment, he did not mean it. After two years, he broke up with me. I never heard from him again.

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because of the risks involved. I did not want to risk getting pregnant out of wedlock and face others who would then know I engaged in sex. I wanted to maintain a good reputation.

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I wanted to look forward to my wedding night- the grand finale to the most important day of my life. After vowing, "I do" to my marriage partner, my best friend, and, now, my lover, I didn't want our special moment to have been over prematurely. I wanted our first time to be a total, personal commitment. By giving myself to my husband I was expressing to him these words, "I LOVE you! You are special to me. From my heart I am totally committed to you and to no other. This is my expression of love for you in full form, one hundred percent!"

I have attended many weddings wherein the couples had been having sex for a long time. They could not wait for the day to be over, as it was, to them, an inconvenience and an expense. The magic was gone, and they had nothing to look forward to on their wedding night.

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I wanted to be a positive example to my children. I knew the day would come when I would have to talk to them about sex. If they asked me if I waited until I got married to have sex, I wanted to be able to answer them honestly and to be a role model to them.

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because I am a Christian, and I believe what God's word states regarding sex. In I Corninthians 6:18, St. Paul wrote, "Flee fornication." Fornication is defined in the dictionary as "voluntary sexual intercourse between an unmarried woman and an unmarried man." The LIVING NEW TESTAMENT reads that no other sin affect the body as this one does. In Chapter 7, verse 9, Paul added that if a couple can't control themselves, it is better to marry than to burn with lust."

I have never found the Bible to be wrong about anything. The words of the Bible warned me of the consequences of premarital sex, and I chose to not take any chances.

I constantly hear remarks about it no longer being the dark ages, that it is a new century, and "things are different now." To use these times of growth and change as justification to have sex outside of marriage is just not reasonable.

--I chose not to have pre-marital sex because it increases the chance of sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, abortions and AIDS. All of these are not good results, and one's life can be complicated forever.

--Finally, I chose not to have pre-marital sex for the most important reason of all: for me, for my own personal health and well-being. If I like myself, which is showing self-concern (not being self-centered) and if I respect myself, then I possess the greatest gift of all, peace of mind.

CONCLUSION:

I have no problem, nor do I judge, anyone on this planet who chooses to have sex outside of marriage. It's just not for me.

That being said, this choice has simplified my life. I have no regrets.

Blessings, Sparklea :)

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Comments 74 comments

petenali profile image

petenali 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Excellent hub! Well written, well thought out and a great example of the benefits of doing it the right way. I cannot applaud you enough for this. Voted so far up it's out of sight...


SJmorningsun25 4 years ago

Excellent Hub, Sparklea. Could not agree with you more. Voted up and all the way across the board but funny--and shared! Blessings to you!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

petenali THANK YOU SO MUCH, THANK YOU! Your comments mean more to me than you will ever know! Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

SJmorningsun25: THANK YOU for your positive feedback, I SO MUCH appreciate it! Blessings to you! Sparklea :)


Emily Sparks 4 years ago

Voted up, great job! God's view on fornication will never change, no matter what people do today!!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Emily Sparks: THANK YOU for your comments on this hub! Like I said, if it's in the Bible it is true. No matter what day and age it is, I believe God remains faithful to his word. Blessings, thank you again, Sparklea :)


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Tremendous example of what it truly means to follow through with your beliefs. As a role model for youth, you have made us all proud! Voted up and shared!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

THANK YOU TEACHES12345,so much appreciate hearing from you! I wrote it from my heart. You are a great support and thank you so much! Blessings, Sparklea :)


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

Interesting read specially for this generation. I mean, no offense but not too many would still agree with you particularly, the modern society. I do, by the way and I teach my daughter the same value that my parents taught me: "preserve and deserve"--, nothing compares to it. Call me old-fashion but it's all worth it. Love and Light to you Sparklea. P.S. I am sharing your hub on my Facebook.


badegg profile image

badegg 4 years ago from Southern Appalachians

Good one, Sparklea. We are celebrating our 30th anniversary this week, and thinking back to my single days, I wish I would have "kept my pants on". But I was a "jock" in school and lived on peer pressure and showing off. The one thing I wished I could have given my wife was my virginity, because she gave me hers. You can't go back, but you can always teach your kids the right way and hope that they make good sound decisions. So far all four of ours are doing fine. Thanks for the great hub and sharing your experience and values.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

My daughter has made that vow. She has seen her brother get pushed into marriage at 18 because he did not believe that he should abstain and she got pregnant.


Drtruthman profile image

Drtruthman 4 years ago from Harlingen, Texas

A wonderful, wonderful Hub. Well written and a great testimony. I too chose not to have pre-marital sex as did my wife over 42 years ago and continue to be a champion of the Christian program for teens and young singles called, "True Love Waits". As a pastor, psychologist and counselor I agree entirely with everything you have said and have seen all too often the consequences from not abstaining before marriage. Great job. I voted UP all across. Lee


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

CrisSp: THANK you for your comment. I am so touched that you are sharing this hub! THANK YOU FROM MY HEART. Yes, I am VERY aware that few will agree with abstaining in this day and age, however, I stand on those two words in the Bible: Flee Fornication. That says it all for me. God WANTS us to have sex and ENJOY it. He is not against it...HE created it! It is the misuse that brings consequences, that is why it is written to preserve yourself until marriage. THANK you again for your taking time to read and comment. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

badegg: THANK YOU for your comments, so much appreciated. Thank you for sharing your story. You are one of many who felt that way growing up, and it is very prevalent in schools today. We can inform our children, that's all we can do...maybe you should write a hub about your experiences, you are such a great writer, and it may help others. Who knows what a few words can do? God is terrific that way...allowing what someone writes to fall into the hands of a person He has His eye on. Just a thought. I believe God uses our experiences, both good and bad, to help others. Thanks again, and blessings to you, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Becky Katz: Thank you for reading my Hub and for your comments. My daughter is going through the same thing with her daughter who is now pregnant. I can totally empathize. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Drtruthman:WOW, how wonderful you are leading that Christian program for Teens and young adults! The world needs more people like you! Thank you so much for your comments and your votes. I will add you to my prayer list that God uses you to accomplish great things...even greater than you already have. Congratulations on your wonderful marriage! Blessings, Sparklea :)


CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Sparklea, you have done a wonderful thing by writing this awesome Hub. I hope you know that. The things you discussed herein are as relevant today as they ever have been.

Good morals, good sense, and good judgment never go out of style and they never have a shelf-life.

Sparklea, I am so proud of you - what a badge of honor!

Do you realize how many couples actually make it to their wedding night untarnished? You were able to experience something that so few will ever experience.

And, there are probably those who will despise you for your self-restraint and possibly even hate you for your obedience to God and for practicing good judgement when they could not.

But, you know what they say, "Misery loves company". Having said that, I know very few people who, given the chance, wouldn't opt to go back in time and do things differently.

Powerful message, Sparklea, and even stronger coming from someone who crossed the finish line and received the gold-medal of morality. Kudos to you and warm frisky kitten love. You are simply amazing and oh-so inspiring. :0)

Best wishes to you and yours - C.J. Sledgehammer


penlady profile image

penlady 4 years ago from Sacramento, CA

This is an inspirational hub for our youth today and I hope they read it. The young generation is overwhelmed with images of sex everywhere: television, music, internet - everywhere.

It's nice to read something that can tell them that virginity is not a curse or a bad thing. It's instead a beautiful, pure gift that you can give your soul mate. Keep up the good work.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

CJ Sledgehammer: I am speechless and overwhelmed by your comments. I just don't know what to say!

Except, THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM MY HEART. If I worried what others thought of my writing, I would never write. I only know one thing: THE TRUTH REIGNS. I tell that to anyone who asks my advice about a decision they need to make. I just say, "Tell the truth. Period. Regardless of the consequences. The truth reigns." It's all about integrity. Some people can be abrasive, but if they are telling the truth, I still have to admire them for that.

I want to write from my heart, and I want to write what I personally believe to be true. That being said, people can certainly disagree. It is their right to do so.

THANK YOU AGAIN. You are amazing.

God bless, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Penlady: Thank you so much for your positive feedback, means so very much. You are correct about today's youth being bombarded with sexual images. Everywhere. It all comes down to one word: Choice. We can choose what to do with the time that is given us on this planet.

Thank you again for reading this hub. I really appreciate it! Blessings, Sparklea :)


CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Sparklea:

"CJ Sledgehammer: I am speechless and overwhelmed by your comments. I just don't know what to say!"

-----------

You don't need to say anything - your actions speak louder than your words. :0)

Sparklea, you said something to me that I really needed to hear, especially as of yesterday:

"THE TRUTH REIGNS. I tell that to anyone who asks my advice about a decision they need to make. I just say, "Tell the truth. Period. Regardless of the consequences. The truth reigns." It's all about integrity. Some people can be abrasive, but if they are telling the truth, I still have to admire them for that."

-----------------

Well, I told someone the truth yesterday (out of love and concern), but I couldn't find a soft-tact to take and really hurt someone I cherished.

Yes, I did stay true to God and upheld my integrity, but I wish I had the verbal skills to have said things in a different way. So, today, I may be heralded as a defender of the faith, but I lost someone I cared deeply about.

Your readers need to know that often times speaking the truth hurts the "sender" far more than the "receiver". I went into it knowing what the outcome was likely to be, but, out of love, I was compelled to speak the truth in order to return a wayward lamb back to the flock.

Today, I mourn the loss of a friendship, but the truth still reigns supreme. Yet, for now, it seems like a hollow victory because of my personal loss. Perhaps, in time, she will appreciate what I was attempting to do, and why I needed to do it?

Speaking the truth and defending the faith, can make for a very lonely existence, especially when the world is not receptive to it.

Please pray for me and for her.

God's blessings to a wonderful friend - C.J. Sledgehammer


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

CJ: I have a prayer list that I present to God every single day. A few of my followers are on this list, and I am adding you today, PLUS the individual you mention. PRAYER is VERY powerful.

I have walked in your shoes, (my sister always says, "I BLEW IT!") When words fly out of my mouth and I immediately KNOW I offended someone, I just want to hide under a rock.

I am certainly not an advisor, nor will I make any suggestions. I will only say this:

I totally get it. Pit happens.

Here is what I do when I offend someone:

I pray: I tell God how awful I feel. I then add "God, I'm asking for a miracle...Please make something GOOD result from this circumstance." I then mentally place that person on the altar of God and hand that person over to Him.

Then I apologize to the person. Lots of times I write a letter to that individual and send it to he/she. I have found that a letter is more memorable than a conversation.

Whether or not that person forgives me...I have no control over...but I know I will not sleep unless I give that person a heart-felt apology.

Then I give the whole thing over to God. He is a God of restoration. My mantra is, "repent, apologize and go on." This is all I can do. I have learned I cannot change what a person is feeling.

IF I believe what I said was true...I don't say I'm sorry for what I said, I just tell that person, "I had no intention of offending you, I was speaking from my heart, and I am so sorry I may have presented it in the wrong way. I absolutely meant no harm."

I have also learned that the most important thing, at least for myself, is to pray to God for diplomacy when I have to approach someone. I had to do that when I was a supervisor in an office for years. VERY difficult.

I think Suzanne Somers once said, "There are no mistakes in life, only lessons." Here is the good news. You learned a lesson from this. You will grow. I know that whatever you said to this person you meant it from your heart.

Again, I am not offering advice. But I sincerely feel empathy...for I have been where you are. I understand.

I will pray that the person you offended will process what you said to her. You meant well.

Thank you for sharing. I can tell that you are a sincere, genuine person who has a huge heart.

Blessings, Sparklea :)


Jesshubpages 4 years ago

An excellent hub. Your testimony is awesome and should be heard beyond hubpages. Godbless you.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

jesshubpages: I cannot express how much your comment means to me. It took lots of courage to write this, especially in today's world. Thank you for your input, and I WILL consider spreading this beyond hubpages. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Sparklea - A big thank you for writing this awesome hub! Thank you for sharing your convictions. I too made the choice to not have pre-marital sex, as did my husband. When I tell someone about this decision nowadays,they react in disbelief, but it is true, and I have NEVER regreted it! As a teenager, I would see a lot of my friends getting pregnant, and I guess it was just planted in my head at an early age, to wait for marriage. I was married at age 19, which was 34 years ago! Sparklea, I feel as though we are kindred spirits. Love your profile too. In His Love, Faith Reaper


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Faith Reaper, WOW, what a great testimony! You made my day! I believe sex before marriage changes everything...things are not the same. Period. This is not a judgmental statement, but a personal view of mine. I have NEVER regreted it either. I often wonder what has happened to the magic of the wedding night? The morning I arose to the day I was getting married was so joyous because I anticipated consumating my love to my new husband that night. CONGRATULATIONS on 34 years of marriage! THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING ME, and Yes I DO agree we are kindred spirits. I look forward to reading your hubs. God bless you real good Faith Reaper! Sparklea :)


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

My mother brought me up the same way and with the idea sex was for marriage and I believe that too. I also thought if I was not a virgin and it didn't work out, who would want me? I guess the world just does not think that way and I wonder if it ever did.

Brave write.


CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Well, girls definitely don't think that way any longer, Jackie, and I fear there will be no GOOD girls left for my sons to marry when the time comes.

What man in his right mind would want to marry the Britney Spears, Kim Kardashians, or Paris Hiltons of this world?

Best wishes - C.J. Sledgehammer


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Jackie: Thank you so much for taking time to read this hub and for your positive feedback. In today's world, I believe, in many cases, sex has become a sport. Not being judgmental, just stating the facts. But until my dying breath I consider sex to be wonderful, beautiful, enjoyable, and, most of all SACRED to be shared with my husband. People can think what they want. However, I, too, can think what I want. Even if premarital sex was for everyone, I still stand on the Bible: Flee fornication. Therefore, premarital sex is not for me. SO appreicate hearing from you, from my heart. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

CJ, thank you so much for your feedback to Jackie. We can pray for your sons, CJ, prayer is SO POWERFUL. Check out the book, "Pray Big" on www.amazon.com. I just received it and it is excellent on "praying big" to God. I plan to buy several to give away as gifts. I am constantly praying for my son and daughter every single day. In your shoes I would ask GOD to bring wonderful, Christian women into your son's lives at the right time. Just a suggestion! Thank you again for all your positive comments. Blessings, Sparklea :)


CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Thank you Sparklea...and, yes, prayer is a powerful remedy for all afflictions. :0) - C.J.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

Thank you for this marvelous missive. I believe you are absolutely right in your choice and in your reasons for making this choice. Well done!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

James, I SO appreciate you taking time to read this hub! THANK YOU for your positive feedback. I am grateful to all who have responded, it means the world to me. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Inspired 4 U profile image

Inspired 4 U 4 years ago from Queens, NY

Voted up, awesome and beautiful! Thank you for sharing your inspiring testimony Sparklea in such a well presented, wonderfully written way. I shared it also and pray its message reach wide and far. I didn't have a spiritual foundation or teaching growing up and could have benefited from such an article as this. Your experience, observations and sharing of God's perspective gives others a chance to make better choices. Continued blessings to you and yours.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Inspired 4 U THANK YOU sso much for your kind words and for reading this hub. And for sharing it. Means the world to me. Sex is wonderful, but misused, it can certainly complicate one's life. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Lord De Cross 4 years ago

I agree with you and so many. Sex is considered a relaxing sport, and not a wonderful gift from our creator. Hope these new generations get it together. We will see. Thanks!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Lord De Cross: Thank you for reading this hub and for your input. You are correct, sex is considered a sport, actually I believe it is the "golden calf" of upcoming generations...it borders on being considered a God. This is just my own personal opinion. Like I wrote in my Hub, sex is a wonderful thing but not considered sacred or a married consummation of love any more. Blessings, Sparklea


FullOfLoveSites profile image

FullOfLoveSites 4 years ago from United States

Not having sex like your peers are having doesn't mean that you are a loser. You have a choice and personal reasons not to engage in pre-marital sex. Especially for a woman, giving all of herself is a very delicate issue indeed. Enjoy what life has to offer, especially while you're young.

Great hub! :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

FullOfLoveSites: Thank you for visiting this hub and for your positive feedback. I totally agree with you that giving all of yourself is a very delicate issue indeed. I don't consider sex a sport like so many do.

I am very grateful to all who have taken time to read about this very important issue. Blessings, and thanks from my heart. Sparklea :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Sparklea I applaud you.. You are one of a kind any more.. GOD BLESS YOU!!! I whole heartly agree.. You made all the right decisions for all the right reasons..

Many blessings to you an sharing

debbie


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Debbie I SO appreciate your feedback, you are one beautiful person, and it is an honor to hear from you and, with all your followers, to take the time to read and comment on my hubs. I consider this hub to be one of the most important pieces I have written, and I am touched by the response. Especially you. God bless you real good, Sparklea :)


tlmcgaa70 profile image

tlmcgaa70 3 years ago from south dakota, usa

great hub, full of wisdom and truth, im sharing this so others may see the benefits of your example. thank you. also voted up and across.

CJ...you did the right thing, and yes, as it hurts parents far more to discipline a child than it does the child in question...any time we must speak the truth that someone doesn't want to hear, it will hurt and possibly damage relationships. remember though, if the person in question truly cares about you, they will KNOW what you said came from the heart and was not meant to condemn but to benefit them. if this is so, once they look at things and situation honestly they will see the truth in your words and let you know they "got it". pray for this person and if this person belongs to GOD HE will set them on the right path once again. if not, nothing we say will sway them from their course.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

tlmegaa70: Thank you so much for taking time to read this hub and to comment on it. I so appreciate it. Also your lovely note to CJ.

I am also touched you are sharing it.

God bless you real good, Sparklea :)


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

You bring up so many reasons why save sex for marriage.I think you defended each reason with a beautiful combination of honesty and good hard facts.You don't view others for what they do or don't do but clearly support your answer.I appreciate your very important informational and personal well written hub.Thanx for sharing and supporting those who wish to wait for marriage to have sex.Have a great day.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Dream On: I SO appreciate your feedback. THANK YOU! I am very passionate about this issue, and it means a lot to me that you took time to read it. Also, thank you for following me, I will do the same. God bless you real good, Sparklea :)


CJ Sledgehammer 3 years ago

Dear Sparklea:

I couldn't help but revisit this awesome Hub and my awesome friend. When I get down in the "dumps" and I start thinking negatively about relationship issues - it feels good to visit with a trusted friend. Thank you for always being there and for always having an inspirational word. You really are a breath of fresh air.

Tlmcgaa70: Thank you for leaving me such a kind and considerate message. Just so you know, the person I referred to in my post above was a "Christian" woman who writes poetry that borders on pornography.

I was so shocked to see this that I blew a spiritual cork. It hurt me deeply because I had so much respect for her. She has not spoken to me in 10 months but lashed out at me in a few hubs as a direct result.

Better run for now, but may our Heavenly Father bless you both with health and happiness - C.J. Sledgehammer


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

CJ: THANK YOU again for visiting this hub. Your kind words are so very much appreciated. It is always my purpose to inspire anyone who reads what I contribute to HubPages. God bless you real good. Sparklea :)


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

I totally agree with you but in many cases that no longer happens, you definitely made the right choice.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

DDE: Thank you for your input, and I certainly agree with you. I also believe I definitely made the right choice.

Blessings, Sparklea :)


drpastorcarlotta profile image

drpastorcarlotta 3 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

I love this Hub!!! I wish that the younger generation would read this! Wait! That everyone would read this. Your a blesings and so is your Hub!!!! Thank you for obeying God. Be Blessed! Voted-Up!!!!!!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

drpastorcarlotta: THANK YOU for taking time to read this hub and for your 'up' vote. Everything I wrote is from my heart. I am so sad with our current society's view of premarital sex, "hooking up" the 3 date rule, etc. Sex has become a sport instead of the sacredness God made it from the beginning. God bless you, and thanks again. Sparklea :)


Mofkip 3 years ago

I totally agree...I am a male who is about to reach 29 years without experiencing sex. It is a blessing that I will preserve till marriage for that one in a million that will last a lifetime with me. God had sanctified marriage in the Garden of Eden, meaning it is a special and sacred institution. I believe nature will match and God will give me a virgin.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Mofkip: Thank you so much for your comments. It is so heartwarming to hear from a male who is willing to wait. Most often men abandon women who want to wait for marriage to express their love through intimacy. Kudos to you, you are a role model. Blessings, Sparklea


Raitu Disong profile image

Raitu Disong 3 years ago

Hi sparklea, you are absolutely right!

I am still a virgin, and I think I am one of those precious treasures, which is hard to find these days, only the lucky ones will find it lol!

Great hub, God bless you :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Raitu: THANK YOU so much for reading this hub and for your positive feedback, SO much appreciated. God bless YOU also, you are one of a kind, and kudos for your being the precious treasure that you are. When your true love comes along, and you marry, it will be a 'beyond' magical experience. Sincerely, Sparklea :)


Romeos Quill profile image

Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

Very commendable, and a shining example to all Sparklea. Seen it all too often; young women screwing their lives up with men who are just users; girl ends up holding the baby, man leaves, and makes it very difficult, if not nigh on impossible for the woman to find another man, who is decent, and who is willing to take on a single mum.Sharing.

Have a lovely evening,

R.Q.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Romeos Quill: I can't tell you how much I appreciate your comments. You said it all. My sister just lost a man because she refused, as a single woman, to be in a physical relationship. I don't understand why men insist on it, get upset if the woman says no, then when she finally gives in, they leave. I don't mean ALL men...but, in most cases the woman loses out and the man goes on his way. I may do a forum about this.

In any event, I thank you for speaking the truth and spelling out how it is in many instances. God bless you for taking the time to read this, as well as, your comments. Sparklea :)


greatdarl 3 years ago

m speechless, this is extremely helpful


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York Author

greatdarl: THANK YOU from my heart. I so appreciate you're reading this hub and for your comments. Blessings, Sparklea ;)


anon 2 years ago

I live alone so I have a lot of opportunity to do such things. im in my 20's and I used to know a guy from the age of sixteen who tried to sway me into having premarital sex when I had clearly said no.

he really put pressure on me for five years to do it. I said to him this is me..i am not asking u to change? so please don't tell me otherwise. however he tried and tried and called me names such as frigid and mocked me. we fell out and maybe I lost a friend or maybe he was never my friend in the first place. he called me names too. so in a sense he bullied me but I didn't want to and im happy that I made that choice and never changed for anyone.

now whenever I get 2 know a guy im clear about it from the very first day as I don't want some1 to try to change me. this is me, accept it or not.

thanks for your blog. it was a good positive read


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Hi Anon, thank you for your terrific testimony. My sister fell madly in love with someone last year and she said the same thing you did...she, too, does not believe in pre-marital sex...and the guy said, 'what are you, 12?'

She stuck to her virtues, and he is now gone and she is heartbroken. But she has peace that she did not give in to his insistence about having pre-marital sex. So proud of you...My personal opinion is that you did the right thing. Sex outside of marriage complicates things, and in many instances, the relationship starts to go downhill. God bless you and thank you for your positive feedback. Sparklea


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 2 years ago

Issues on sex get very complicated.The news and the media can give the wrong message.You stick to your guns and find the person that has the same values and beliefs. Be proud of who you are and we should never be pressured into something as beautiful as sex. Experience and age come slowly but well worth the wait.Thank you again for your honest views.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Dream on, so thrilled you visited this hub and thank you so much for your feedback, it means so much to me.

I stand on everything I stated above, I wrote from my heart, even though the hub editors removed all the ads.

That's ok, because I am not removing this hub. Everyone's views deserve to be read, and I am thankful to be able to share them on HubPages.

God bless, Sparklea :)


Express10 profile image

Express10 2 years ago from East Coast

Excellent Hub and topic. I'm definitely old fashioned in this regard. Too many people of all ages have sex without any love, commitment or protection against diseases and pregnancy. If only they would read this and think carefully prior to doing anything they would likely avoid unnecessary stress.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Express10 I am so thrilled you stopped by to read this hub. My grandfather raised me, and he said, 'A few minutes of pleasure can ruin your life.' And it's true. Sex has become the golden calf of the world. People have made it a sport rather than a sacred expression of love when married. Lives have literally been ruined because this wonderful expression of love that God created has been abused and misused. Thank you for your kind comments, it means so much to me. Blessings, Sparklea :)


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 2 years ago

I am glad you didn't remove your hub. You express your ideas and can give help to others.I for one never rushed into sex. Just not the right person or time. Now years later looking at so many other friends that did rush into something they thought they knew were sorry they did. Live and learn the hard way. I think if young adults keep busy with other important things in their life sex will find the right time and place. There is no need to see a teenagers and young couples deal with raising a family on top of growing up. Thank you for your hubs.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Dream On: I So appreciate your stopping by to read this. It is written from my heart and soul...but the hub editors find it inappropriate, so they refuse to put ads with it. That's okay. But I will continue to stand by my true perceptions on this topic. Thank you for your input, it means a lot...God bless, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

PS: to Dream On: Thank you for your lovely email. I will respond to it this weekend.


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Interesting hub Sparklea, you had me giggling while i read. All what you said is true when you live with men like that they have absolutely no respect for you. Yes from other people's experience they throw back those things in your face, also i do not think those people really enjoys a honeymoon because by that time all the honey has came out of the moon LOL.

In my church its very strict against fornication and adultery because these since are within the body and defiles God's temple. They don't condone sin on a whole but those two i stated are the worst.

I thank God for his grace that he have kept me from fornication thus far and by grace he will continue to do so.

CERTAINLY the bible is ALL RIGHT and has never proven to be wrong its mankind that changes it up and say God did not mean this or that, which irritates my inner being. God is UNCHANGING why would he change his word to please someone else.

Thanks for sharing :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

LadyFiddler, thank you so much for taking time to read this hub that I wrote from my heart. I would have no peace of mind if I gave my heart, soul and body to a person outside of marriage. It seems that men can just 'score' then forget about the girl, but the after effects on the female are everlasting and there can be consequences. I am not talking about ALL men, but I have found this often happens. I am grateful for all who have commented on this controversial hub...the hub editors have chosen not to post ads on it, and I couldn't care less about that! God bless, Sparklea


Stargrrl 23 months ago

This was an excellent hub, and you made some very good points.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 23 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Thank you stargrrl and welcome to Hub Pages! God Bless, Sparklea


buddhaanalysis 23 months ago

Ladies like you are may be rare now a days...

Thanks.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

buddhaanalysis

Thank you so much for your feedback to this hub. Yes, I am probably a rare one, but I see no purpose in women going to bed with men to 'hook up' - Sex is very, very sacred and should be shared between people who are in love with each other - man and wife. I cannot imagine ever having sex with someone I did not love. I waited until my wedding night and it was so wonderful. It is the finality to the celebration of the wedding day.

God bless, Sparklea :)

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