THE HOPELESS DIRELEICT

Beat the drums slowly. Follow along on a weak man's doom. It won't take long, the story has no morals. It has an easy end.

For some unknown reason, such reasons are usually unknown, I was delivered to like; It didn't come to me. All things rest on thought, with trappings of truth. This convicts the mind making me conscious of doing what's right. Otherwise tragedy is inevitable as a flower that withers and fades carrying it's own demise. A delirium of thoughts get heavy riffling around my brain cheating the air of sound. My liquor fails. I can't chain thoughts nor bend the mind to dispel truth. Not even by tithes paid to Hell. Ruin is a difficult habit to break. There was no other place to go. I needed to approach God, an element of authority whose love is unconditional. I went lurking quietly like a baby crawling around and stopped to visit a moment. He did not avoid noticing me. concerned for my distress, He tuned me in with natural grace

The Lord looked at me and into my heart.

He said, Son..,

I said, yes sir.

He said, Son.., you wrestle against not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

I said, yes sir.

He said, Son.., when you seek answers of the world, you are endowed with judgements of the world by its authorities thereof.

I said, yes sir.

He said, hush and listen. When you seek for answers of the spirits, you are endowed with answers of the spirits and its authorities thereof.

I said, yes sir.

He said, Son.., by whose authority do you seek answers?

I said, you Father.

He said, Son.., If I give you your desires will you give me mine?

I hesitated. He closed His eyes and left me to myself.

God, who objects to bad noise was on my side whispering to my dust to consort with me so that I could escape being entangled there by evil temptations. I'm not obliged to know everything, just dust off cycles of guilt and fear and scare away evil. My eyes have their own light and their own dew to help me make it through the curses that I am capable of. My feeble spirit stays out of sight. Only reason I'm alive is breath. Too many times, people allow me to be what I want to be and not who I really am. I'm putting on a show being not what you see but what I leave out. I am my many faces, each one counterfeit. I sleep empty and long not hinting about the secrets I keep in the corners of my mind that answer only to me and screw up my face.

How adamant reality can be combining two worlds, the real and unreal. They become doors opening and closing leading to empty places the color of regret. Peace has been disturbed with talk of choices. I openly acknowledge the shame of ignorance because incompetence permits the innocence of it. Incapacity is worse but not to worry, I work with what I have. From a distance, I can feel the spirit of the Lord. He will not come near. I can feel His anger, He is in distress.

But Lord, I pray, you know what's in my heart better than I do.

He does not listen. I open another can of beer and try to figure out why He can not comprehend such simple logic. I only drink because life is so hard. I only smoke because that's what my body is used to, surely He knows. He'll come around. God has his ways of answering prayer.

NOTE:

God is a king not a democracy. He has set His guidelines for us and has given us a free will to choose weather we will abide by them or not. His laws are not negotiable. They are simple and straight forward. He does not demand our love but asks us to give it to Him willingly and from our heart. God is a king and His agenda is love. When we practice love, we stay within His glory and He is happy. Leave only love to stay in the brain. Do you not know that life after death could be a lot worse than here on earth? You have a choice.

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