Just to Put you in the Picture
Now before we start and just to put you in the picture when this happened let me tell you a little about me. I was not the kind of person that would be head hunted by employers.
I was an ordinary mum of two young children. I was also psychologically damaged and emotionally crippled. I had all sorts of problems and hang-ups.
In short I was just your average screwed up damaged young woman. I was so not the sort of person you would go out and try to recruit to be on your team. So what happened was not something that would have sprung out of my imagination. In fact it was just about the last thing I would ever have imagined would happen to me, yet it did.
God gave me my calling one night when I was out walking my dog in the pouring rain. I hadn’t gone out into the night seeking God’s face or anything remotely spiritual. In fact I was moaning about something to God and having a bit of a pity party where I was the guest of honour.
I was fully absorbed with my misery and myself. Iwas just pouring it out all over God as usual, when out of nowhere He interrupted me.
This occasion is one of the very few times I have actually heard a voice. Now although I heard a voice I knew that it was not coming from outside yet I heard it distinctly.
God said to me ‘Do you love me?’ Now this question just came out of the blue.
This question had nothing at all to do with the conversation I was having with God at that moment. It was a complete change of subject and direction.
Needless to say God now had my full attention and I replied ‘Yes Lord you know I love you’. He asked me this question three times and each time I said yes Lord you know I love you. Each time He then said to me ‘Feed my sheep’.
Now when you are a city girl like me it can kind of throw you when you are told to feed sheep. But not to be deterred I replied ‘What sheep?’
He said ‘Don’t worry about the sheep leave that to me.’
I then said ‘Well what do I feed them?’
He then replied ‘Don’t worry just share with them what I give you.'
And Now God was also on my Case
Then just as suddenly the conversation changed again. God said to me almost as an aside ‘By the way that is not very honouring to me.’
The that to which God was referring was a problem that I had with my stomach which I think was an ulcer. I had been suffering with it for about eight months on and off.
Now I am not the sort of person that when I am in pain and discomfort goes to the doctors to find out what is going on.
Also, I will only reluctantly take something for it as I don't like taking medication.
When the pain and discomfort goes away, I will then forget quickly that I had anything wrong with me.
So now you know, I really don’t like taking medicine and I don’t like going to the doctors.
Now my husband had been going on at me for months to go to the doctor about this stomach problem. He wanted me to find out what it was and to get something done about it.
Every time I was in pain I said to him that I would go see the doctor, but then the pain would go off and I would not go. My husband was getting more than a little fed up with me over this.
Here I was talking to God when I had a twinge of pain and now God was also on my case. Now there is dumb and then there is me.
When God said that is not honouring to Him, I said OK I will go to the doctors tomorrow and get it sorted out.
Can you believe that? I was talking to God and I had just said that I would go and see the doctor. You wouldn’t think you could be so dumb and still walk and breathe at the same time.
God soon gave me the revelation that this was not what he intended or wanted me to do. Instead God told me quite clearly what he wanted me to do.
One Wednesday night a month we held a monthly ‘Come together.’
It was a mid week Spirit led time where churches from all over the circuit came together.
At the come together there would be prayer, praise, worship, communion etc. God told me that I was to ask for the laying on of hands and I would be healed.
Why Would God Choose Someone Like Her?
This God encounter then stopped just as suddenly as it had started. The next night saw me at the ‘Come Together.’
Now an interesting thing happened at the end of the evening. The Minister asked if anyone wanted to go forward for prayer or healing.
So one by one different people went up to be prayed for or to have hands laid on them. When there was a chair spare I went forward to ask for healing just like God told me to.
The interesting thing here was who came to lay hands on me. It was someone that I had little respect for in the area of faith.
Any other time if had seen that this person was going to be the one that was going to lay hands on me I wouldn’t have gone out.
My pride and know it all attitude of that time wasn’t at all appropriate. In my arrogance I thought that my dog would have stood more chance of healing me than this person.
I bet by now you are thinking ‘Why on earth would God choose someone like her to feed His sheep? Well you are not alone in thinking that, I have often wondered why He chose me and why then?
I know that if I had to choose someone it most certainly wouldn’t have been me. With my track record and all my failings and shortcomings I had nothing to recommend me.
But, I praise His Holy Name because He did choose me.
Back to the Story
To get back to the story. I went out sat on the chair and two people came over to me.
One was the minister who was someone I respected and would have chosen to lay hands on me. But the other was the person I would not.
They both asked me what I wanted I told them I wanted hands laid on me so that God would heal me.
They actually wanted to do more than I asked. They wanted to know what was wrong with me, and where it hurt etc. But by this time all I wanted was for them to lay hands on me.
All God told me to do was ask them to lay hands on me and then HE was going to heal me. He didn’t need all this information He knew it all already.
I knew from the night before that it was an obedience thing. If I did what God had told me to do then what He said would happen, would happen.
My part was just to ask for and to have hands laid on me. By now I knew that even if the church cat had come out and laid hands (paws?) on me, because God had spoken to me, and I had believed and obeyed Him, that I would be healed.
At last they both laid hands on me and prayed for my healing. Now the interesting thing is I learned a valuable lesson.
Actually I learned more than one through this experience. But that night I learned that it is God who chooses. He chooses who He will use and how He will use them.
A Time of Real Blessing
This was the beginning of a time of real blessing. I have never met anyone who has been as consistently well fed as I have been.
Things have even come into being that didn’t exist at the time when God spoke to me, just so that I could be fed by God.
It began first with books being given to me, then teaching tapes. Before God spoke to me I don’t think that I even knew that there was such a thing as teaching tapes at that time.
Not long this experience Christian Television started in the United Kingdom. There was much opposition to the establishment of Christian television in the UK. But it started up and against all the signs that it was going to be impossible it thrived.
It started with four hours a day transmission, and now it is two channels are on the air twenty-four hours a day. Now the God channels are being transmitted to many different countries.
I know that the Christian television has blessed many people. But I still get the feeling that this is just a sign of how lavish God's provision is.
Did God start a twenty four hour Christian Television station just to feed one person? Would He do something so lavish to make sure that just one of His sheep was properly fed?
He told me that He would feed me, and all this provision came into my life soon after. I never imagined that He would go to such lavish extents to fulfil His word. But I think that He did.
I feel that I am living in the ‘exceeding abundantly above’ of God that is mentioned in Ephesians 3:20
Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
He Called Me
It just goes to show you can’t tell who God is going to call just by looking at them.
Outwardly, there was nothing to recommend me and also precious little inwardly either. But God had plans for me and my life.
He looked beyond what the eye could see and beyond what I could imagine.
He called me and by His grace I answered the call.
My other hubs
If you enjoyed this hub I have put links to my other hubs in the blue box alongside this text in order to make accessing them easier.
Thank you for taking the time to read this hub, I hope that you will come back and read some more.