The Greatest Battles and Looking in the Mirror
The greatest battles I face are my own. They lie within me. I could not seem to put hub #35 together. I always pray for an inspiration by way of the Holy Spirit before I write. Since my last 'writing' I have started ten. I felt I was missing 'it' over the last couple of weeks. I completed three or four hubs and none sat right with in me. They have gone to the pile of unpublished hubs. I look at those writings as practice. Nothing is by mistake in 'Gods' world. Writing has been an awakening into my soul through the loving power of Christ Jesus. Much has been revealed to me since I started my journey on hub pages. There was no mistake I was to be here. I know it was a God send. The passion I have to share his truth in written words has compelled me to work harder. God is God 'He' knows what he does. The seed to write has grown into a dream. The dream into a vision. The desire of my heart I believe God will bring to fruition in 'His' time.To him I give the Glory. Amen I know his plans are far greater then my finite mind can muster up. He says 'know that 'I am God'. He has the plans and design in his loving hands. The outcome is in his hands. He knows our hearts and no heart is hidden.
Every rescue has a story. It is by his works and grace that today I can share my experiences, strength, and hope with others so that they too might be helped as I am. I give all the Glory to God. Jesus is the river of life. He calls his children to share the good news of the Gospel. Not watered down, not changed. He is the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. When I am not self serving, conformed by my own abilities and attitudes Christ can use me for his Kingdom. I too was rescued, let me not forget and be humbled.
I have been similar to a large, beautiful, black stallion.The one that stands on his hind legs and flares up his front legs. I needed to be broken of my ideas and shaped into what Christ would have me to be. Like the stallion needs to be saddle broke, I too needed to be broke. It is not the spirit that gets broke on the stallion but the will to do it his way. It is the same with me. God needed to show me a couple of 'things' because he loves, he disciplines. I did not recognize the blinders I was wearing. Christ has nudged and pulled on me in his a gentle, loving Heavenly Father manor but I did not see. Like the stallion until I am broke, I will probably stay where I am at. I will remain the same. When my will is conformed to he that trains me I can move ahead to much better things. When 'I am weak he is strong.' How can I give away what I do not have? Who can sit on the wild stallion? When he is broken his beauty will shine, his fear will be tamed. Others will be drawn to him. He will be touchable. He will intuitively know trust. Not because he did it but his trainer worked with him. Christ worked with me. I needed to see my part. I can be wild and stubborn. I may think I know, but how little do I know? When my way is broke down, I am actually free. In my nature, I am blinded. The God of rescue, grace, and mercy will come to any that call. He is the heart fixer. He is the healer. He is provision. He goes for the lost. He is the Heavenly Father. If there is a weight on my shoulder I can not move very well. He says in James 5:1, 'you have not because you ask not.' God is patient. Sometimes it takes years of pain or suffering to subject our short comings to the King of Kings. He created no two alike. When we go to the Father and repent he wipes our plate clean, as pure white snow. Christ died for us so we would not perish, but have eternal life with him. In Paradise. Thank you Lord Jesus.
Many that read know my husband David went into an alcohol rehab for 90 days. I thank God he answered many prayers. It was a long, hard road but he carried me. he carried David. I kept my faith in Christ. In my pain I was brought to my knees and laid it at the alter. My prayer was answered in Gods way, not my way. God does know what he is doing. I have seen a man with a changed heart. A love more deep for the Lord. A man humbled. It has been beautiful. David looks fantastic, he has gained a much needed 24 lbs. I see victory through Christ in him. I see the man of God I saw in David when we met, only better. He got off track but in him was Christ. Because of his Grace David was spared from hurting someone by drinking and driving.
I was working at the Salon Saturday when David called. He had a 12 hour pass. We had plans for Saturday eve. He sounded 'loaded' to me. All too familiar. He knows how to play the game. You can not fool an 'olé' fool. He goes back in in a few hours and blows a zero. He gets away with it. He was getting a 'buzz' in before I got home. I told him I deplored him because he was drinking. I said a few more choice words. He denied, I hung up on him. David knows I write this story. His hope is someone may hear that needs to hear. I did not go home. I went visiting, shopping, errands. I came home 4 hours later with food. He did not eat. I said little. He laid down because of a headache. Yeah I thought. I did think more but will not write that one down. I gave David a ride much later. I wanted to make sure he blew a zero. He was not coming back here. He told me he thought he should stay and not take a pass next weekend because he needed to work on himself. He knew I was upset and angry. He denied the truth many times. I let it go.
I woke Sunday to allot of snow. I passed on Church. It was freezing and blowing. I turned on the TV to tune into a Christian Broadcast. I heard a Pastor on TV share, 'we have all done things we wish we could take back and sometimes our words were vicious and cruel' He said, 'it is not just stabbing or wounds or beating up people that hurt but words we have said or even things we have failed to do'. His words moved on my heart. At that moment I realized that although I say I have forgiven David my actions and words have spoke loud and clear. They have spoke that I am better because I have not lost jobs or got a DUI. No, but it was by the Grace of God. I would not have a license for years on end had I been stopped while drinking and driving, those many occasions. If Christ was not covering me I could have taken a life. I thought because David had a slip and was in a heap, I was all that. I have judged. I have said cruel things. I do not throw rocks at a hurt dog do I? No I do not. How much more are we to our Savior?
God came for all sinners, that does include Skye. He came for drunks, addicts, prostitutes, over eaters, non-eaters, cutters, abusers, abused, sex addicts, liars, cheats, robbers, gamblers, the corrupt, the scandals, the greed busters, all sinners. No matter the color white, black, yellow, red, blue, or green. No matter the profession or not the Doctor, Teacher, Hairstylist, Lawyer, Homemaker, Electrician, Writer, Homeless, Politician, President, Jew or Gentile he came for us. Would I go treat my friends or daughters with cruel words if they made a mistake? Do they treat me with cruel words or actions when I blow it. No, they do not. God keeps me covered. He has provided. What am I, all that? Does our Lord show compassion for the suffering? Yes he does. I am part of the suffering. He loves his children. If we come to him we are his kids. If we are born of the Father we belong to him. Fathers love their children. I trusted Christ for everything except Davids redemption. David openly loves the Lord. His name is in the Lamb's book of life, along with mine and all God's children.
I hit my knees. I know that I know a good conclusion is brought to a difficult situation with Christ. 'God can turn all things for good to those that love him' (Philippians) My attitude can make or break it for someone. I am not without sin. I am forgiven. Is David exempt from forgiveness. Is God not shaping and molding him for his Kingdom? Does he not give David favor? Is David a worse sinner then I? I asked forgiveness. I was humbled. I could feel the warmth of Jesus covering me. In a whisper I heard ' now you see.' I had an awakening. I am so grateful. I am writing with a big elephant tear in each eye. My writers block has come to pass. I had to be free from that which hindered me to move forward in Christ Jesus. I am free. I am made pure as snow. He has wiped the slate clean. I have made amends. I have a deliverer, his name is Jesus. God makes winners, not looses.
Precious child of God. You are loved by the Savior. Opportunity and doors will open for you, that will be dynamic. Lay down at the alter that which blocks you. God is the God of intervention. He will care for those we love. He will meet you where you are at. Thank-you friend for coming by to visit. I am the Lords hands and feet. He is training me up for very good things to come. Forgive your mistakes and know 'he will give you the desires of your heart'. (Psalm 37:4) God is amazing. Praise to Jesus.
Written In Love.
ENJOY 'Sorry'. This song will put a tear in the eye. Amen. Love You.
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