The Most Important Thing In Life Is...

Do You Know What Is More Important To You Than Anything Else?

Over a financial career spanning more than 25 years, I had the good fortune to work with thousands of people in the area of finance. This career gave me a truly extraordinary opportunity to observe human behavior in a very close-up fashion. I noticed that when people begin disclosing things about themselves in the area of money, things that are usually hidden from sight rise to the surface and they are exposed in a way that human interaction does not typically reveal us. I found, oddly enough, that many of the people I worked with would rather tell me the intimate details of their sex life than talk to me about their finances, and many actually did. And this was just our first meeting. I would ask them a financial question, their eyes would go blank, they would wander off into the recesses of their mind, and then they would tell me some private detail from a past tryst. I don't want to say that this was because they unconsciously equated dealing with their finances to being proverbially 'screwed', but you can draw your own conclusions on this.

Because of the intimate nature of discussing one's financial history, trust is very important and quickly leads to a confidence in the relationship bonded here. Many friendships were made through these times and the exchange of ideas flowed easily between myself and those I served. One of the questions I would always ask people was, "What is more important to you than anything else?" The surprising thing about the answers I received is how long it took each person to come up with the explanation. Immediately after my inquiry I would look at the time and note how long it took for the person I was working with to conclude the answer to my survey. The average time was just over 2 minutes.

As I have said before, I used my career as a study in human behavior and also as a way to encourage peoples' awareness and thoughtfulness about their lives. It dawned on me, through a search I had undertaken in my early 20's, that if a person did not know what was more important to them than anything else, all of their choices were being made through what already limits them. I call these our limiting beliefs. You will see what I mean as we proceed.

One of the last clients I had was a young woman, aged 32, who was physically beautiful, intelligent, wise in her investments, very successful in her career and with an astuteness and sense of humor which was truly endearing. One day she called me to have lunch with her. I agreed and we set a day and time to meet. We sat down in the restaurant and the first thing she said was, "I don't know you very well, but you appear to have a great life." I told her that I have a magnificent life and how much I appreciated her recognition of it. She said, "I would not know where to start to have a great life." Well, I am sitting there looking at her and thinking that she has all the components necessary to have the best life possible, so I said, "What is more important to you than anything else?" I then looked at my watch and waited. After just over two minutes she finally said, "I would like to have a life partner." I said, "Describe this person to me." She started by saying, "I want to have a man in my life who is intelligent, successful, spiritually oriented and who shares my interests." She continued her description with many other characteristics such as kindness, attractiveness, a good sense of humor and more. I was still observing her and there honestly was nothing to indicate a reason why she had not found this man. So, I said, "Tell me about men." She began with, "Well, men are basicly shallow." To this I said, "Stop." I then asked her if she was listening to what she had just said. She looked quizzically at me and said, "What do you mean?" I said, "You didn't say, I 'think' men are basically shallow, which would have indicated that you had studied men, you said it as if it was a well-known fact and that everyone was aware of it." She actually believed that men being shallow was a truism. I continued by telling her that she could meet the ideal man, based on her own criteria, and because of her limiting belief in 'men being shallow', she would interpret everything he said and did as evidence that it was true. She would then never even give him a chance to prove himself otherwise. Imagine the inner conflict this would cause. I said, "Each man is different and if you want to know what they are like, ask them questions about themselves and listen intently to what they are saying." She said that she had never considered that men had no possibility with her. I said, "We believe what we say is true, and then commit our thinking, actions and lives to these impressions." Continuing, I said, "At different times during our early childhood we have experiences that we are too young to analyze and make life-altering decisions because of these events." "Through our decisions, at these times, we commit our lives to these 'limiting belielfs', and spend the rest of our lives collecting evidence for what we already 'know' is true." I asked her what conversations were like when she was together with other women friends. She said they talk about men and the futility of finding a "good man". I said, "And what is the conclusion you, yourself, draw from these interactions?" She said, "I feel hopeless and helpless to improve my life." We continued with this conversation for quite some time. But, on parting, she assured me that she would never again look at any aspect of her life as if it had no possibility.

You can see through my interaction with this lovely young woman that if a person does not know what is more important to themselves than anything else, the filtering device being used to make all one's decisions is their 'limiting beliefs'. If this woman had been accutely aware of the importance of finding the life partner she described, her commitment when interacting with men would have been to explore those men through her own ideals and see where the matches were found between them. As most of us do not escape our young childhood without scars, I imagine that most of us use what already limits us to decide our future. When a person knows what is more important to them than anything else, though, every choice is made with the intention of producing a desired outcome instead of in repeating the limitations of the past. We all have the ability to create the life of our own design. It only takes being aware of our priorities and acting on those with unbending intent.

For me, personally, the most important thing in my life is peace of mind. I sincerely make the greatest effort, I can, to live my life in a way that my choices and decisions will contribute to this peace. If I do not have this, I am unable to appreciate the blessings and joys that fill my life and are all around me. If I am troubled, my husband, my friends and my family do not receive the best of me. If I am focused on my concerns I will not make every effort to bring happiness to those closest to me, even though I know that my own happiness is tied to theirs. And, on a lighter note, as my husband lovingly says, "If mama ain't happy, no one is going to be happy."

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Comments 35 comments

Fay Paxton 5 years ago

Here, Here! There is nothing to add to this. Anything I could possibly say would only trivialize the importance of your message. Let's hear it for Peace of Mind.

Up/useful, awesome and beautiful!!!!


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Hi Kay, I have missed you the last few days. Thank you, as always for your kind and encouraging words. You really are the BEST!


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Hi Fay, sorry about my typo on your name, before. I really do appreciate you so much and am so grateful to have you in my life.


Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

This is the best I have ever seen written on a subject that I myself frequently write about. I love the way you bring it down to earth by the conversation you had with this lady and your questions show an insight into the mind that I have rarely seen. Have you considered psychotherapy as a career?You could help a lot of people with your brilliant approach. I would urge you to write more like this because this message is probably the most important for any human being to heed. I would like your permission to put this on my FaceBook wall and I would also like to add a link to it from my Word Press blog http://manxhypnosis.com/blog/?p=396

Your article has really uplifted my spirits this morning because you have expressed the idea so well here.

Voted up and awesome but this is not enough I wish there was an even higher selection than awesome foe really special hubs. I am not a man who normally goes nuts about a hub like this and by doing so you have received the highest compliment I can give.Thank you.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Spirit Whisperer, you have touched me so very deeply with your comments and have brought tears of appreciation to my eyes. You are welcome to reprint this or use links to it or in any way you see fit. I sincerely appreciate the things you have said. Thank you, thank you, thank you and may God's most profound blessings be with you.


Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

You deserve all the praise I gave you and more so just accept that your way of being in this world really does work and the praise I have given you is only a fraction of what you can expect to receive as you continue your life journey. Please let me know if you approve of how I have used your link : http://manxhypnosis.com/blog/?p=396

I won't reprint this article as this may cause it be flagged as duplicate material by HP but a link back is probably best.

I would also suggest that you sign up with HubDefender so nobody ever uses your work without you knowing about it so your copyright is protected. Look after your precious work.

Thank you.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Spirit Whisperer, thank you once again for your encouragement. I used the link to your site above and certainly approve of your link to this hub. I am not familiar with HubDefender, but I will search HubPages to find it and do as you recommend. Thank you and blessings.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

The strength of your spirit spoke to me throughout reading that. A magnificent piece of writing and Kudos to you for putting it down for others to see.

Up and awesome. You definitely sound like someone worth knowing and the advice you dispensed was sound and spot on.

The Frog


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging comment, Frog Prince. My commitment to God is to use my life to become as aware as I can myself and share the lessons I have learned with others. It is very humbling to have people give me such high praise. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Blessings...


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

Hi CreatePerfection, thank you for sharing this story.

I truly admire and appreciate the place you 'are at'.

Stay Blessed n Beautiful :)


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Hi Ashantina, I really appreciate hearing from you. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this article and comment on it. Blessings to you, too, my beautiful friend.


randslam profile image

randslam 5 years ago from Kelowna, British Columbia

What great insight! CP, you've nailed it, right on the head. In a world where we see each other with such outright judgment--how would one expect to find the perfect "life partner."

Great hub, and I know you'll be getting all kinds of response to this one. And I agree, you should be a personal therapist, life coach, etc.

Keep up the great hubs.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

randslam, thank you so much for your encouragement and kindness. I am so grateful to have met such wonderful people on HubPages. Your comments are always generous and insightful. Thank you.

Blessings


Terry.Hirneisen profile image

Terry.Hirneisen 5 years ago from Shenandoah Valley

You are no good to others if you do not take care of yourself. Very true.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Terry, thank you so much for your very insightful words. Thank you for the fan mail, too. I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to read this hub and comment.

Blessings...


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Beautifully written and so very true. I can't think of a thing I would add; this is perfect. Well done!


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Genna, thank you so much for your lovely comment and for taking the time to read this article. I sincerely appreciate your encouragement.

Blessings...


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Thanks for share your life experience with us. I must learn to you. You are a wonder woman. I hope you always success. God bless you!

Prasetio,


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 5 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Hello prasetio30, thank you so much for your kind words. I am grateful to you for taking the time to read this article and comment. God bless you, too.


Curiad profile image

Curiad 3 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

Very well written, and I loved the intuitive way you interacted with the person in the article.

Mark


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 3 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Curiad,

Mark, Thank you so much for your comment. This is my favorite article that I have written. It is because most people I have met do not seem to know what is more important to them than anything else before the question is asked. As I said in the article, if we do not know the answer to this question, we are recreating our limitations over and over and over.

Thank you again.

Blessings,

Lela


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

Each man is different and if you want to know what they are like, ask them questions about themselves and listen intently to what they are saying."

This is such wise advice and so true. We women often neglect to respect men by listening to them. We tend to treat them as insignificant in our lives. Beautiful story shared here. Voted up.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 3 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Hello teaches12345,

Thank you for your comment and for reading the article. The things that are most important to us as individuals get lost in the trance of everyday life. We start to focus on the things that demand our attention, whether beneficial for us or not. Our lives will suffer, however, if we never identify what's most important to us, because we will repeat the very behavior that is limiting our experience of fulfillment over and over and over.

Blessings,

Lela


Tom Koecke profile image

Tom Koecke 3 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

Okay, you have me thinking. This is not a new concept to me, but it is one that seems to have taken a back seat to "what is most urgent."

Thank you, and I'll be back.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 3 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Hi Tom Koecke,

Thanks for your comment. Very true what you have said. The problem with an undiciplined mind is that we constantly allow everything around us to dictate our priorities, but it is clear to me that if you do not know what is more important to you than anything else you have a very small possibility of obtaining it. Even if you already have it, you will not cherish it because you will bury it in life's demanding pace. So, we must get to the bottom of what is most important to us so that we can experience it and so that we can know when we have it and allow it to bring joy to our lives.

Blessings,

Lela


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

It is important to be happy and focus on issues and solve them right away a brilliantly written Hub.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 3 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

DDE,

Thank you for your comment. We spend so much of our lives wishing and hoping instead of in focusing on the things that are important to us, as you say. Life is much more joyful, though, once we resolve the things that stop us and attend to the things that bring us happiness.

Blessings,

Lela


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 3 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Great stuff -- Peace of mind and "Be Happy NOW" .... are the most important goals everyone should have. Keep on sharing.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 3 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Neil,

Thank you for those wise words. It isn't always easy to stay in the moment, but the present is the only time we really have and life's challenges are much more manageable from here.

Blessings,

Lela


Jatinder Joshi profile image

Jatinder Joshi 3 years ago from Whitby, Ontario, Canada

This is such a brilliant post. Enjoyed reading it, and yes, peace of mind is the most important to me too!

Thank you for sharing.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 3 years ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Jatinder Joshi,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. It is not always easy to discipline oneself to follow the path of peace, but it is well worth the effort it takes to do so.

Blessings,

Lela


the rawspirit profile image

the rawspirit 16 months ago from Hutchinson Island, FL - Aruba - Carlsbad, CA - Myrtle Beach, SC - Gilbert, AZ

You have written one of the best pieces I have ever seen on HubPages. The Most Important Thing In Life... is so insightful, and I admire the way you bring the subject to life during the meeting you had with the lady. Your questions arise from a place deeper than many in humanity can fathom. Your insights into this ladies life and needs can only come from a spirit immersed in love and one with creation. Thank you for this wonderful hub. Vote as high as it can go. So, glad to get to know you. May your day be filled with the desires of your heart. Blessings, Bobby


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 16 months ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Bobby,

Thanks for having your life cross my path. I hope I can always live up to the praise you have given me. My highest goal is pure enlightenment. Every once in a while I can go beyond the veil of our ordinary awareness and that is when I see no boundary between God and myself.

Blessings,

Lela


the rawspirit profile image

the rawspirit 16 months ago from Hutchinson Island, FL - Aruba - Carlsbad, CA - Myrtle Beach, SC - Gilbert, AZ

Hello, Lela, Glad to see you are here. I cannot claim to know exactly how it all works, but I do know, as I get older it seems there is no veil between me and God except for my thoughts. At times, my emotions get supercharged. When this happens, I instill more meaning into everything, and I find myself separated from my source, myself, the I AM. Yes, I am also glad we crossed paths, you are a blessing.


CreatePerfection profile image

CreatePerfection 16 months ago from Beautiful Colorado Author

Bobby, WOW! Thank you. What a treat to meet someone who speaks the same language. You, too, are a blessing.

Lela

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