The Promise Fulfilled ~ Part Two ~

Freedom from All Addictions

"We are the masters of our decisions and the slaves of our choices"


Well, here I am back again after a long time being absent. My story is the same only there will eventually be more added to it as time progresses. As any of you who may have read what I have previously written, for many years it was party time at the "OK Coral" in my life, if you get my meaning. For approximately 20 of those years my addiction to drugs left me with such an increased higher tolerance level for them that I had to use larger amounts of that drug to get "high" or at best, to even achieve "relief". I was an addict for 36+ years in all. It was during the latter stages of my addictions that I began to actually seek any kind of help. At best I was enduring but my endurance level lowered as I became physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.drained.


I may as well confess to you right off of the bat that I do not know the “formula” for writing any kind of a blog or book. This is my first endeavor of this sort, writing on Hubpages. I have no formal training to be an author of any type. If I did have training I’d be much better at what I have been led to do by sharing my story with you. Heck! I didn’t even graduate high school in the regular way but obtained for myself a General Equivalency Diploma. But since this is meant to be my testimony of, to, and for my Lord and Savior and how He did for and in me that which I could not do for myself, perhaps you will be so kind as to bear with me.


During the body of this work in all of it's stages I am entrusting my mind, memories and heart to Him as I proclaim His mercy, grace, love, forgiveness and faithfulness even as everything else around us crumbles. My heartfelt prayer is that these words that I am going to write in my attempt to share with you my life in the past and the present, with the hope for the future which lies in Jesus alone, is that my story will also give to you a hope while pointing you towards The Hope. For in Christ Jesus the victory to overcome is already yours.

I hesitated to use the term "life" in relation to my existence here on earth because a real “life” it never was. It never was because of my own choices for the most part. It was not the fault of anyone else. In natural years I am now a 58 year old female but my life only truly began when the “god” who sat upon the throne of it for approximately 36+ years was replaced by the One, true Living God who created heaven, earth and everything that there is contained within them. And His only Son Jesus who came to make His home within the confines of this human heart when He saved my soul and remade me free from a lifetime of bondage's to people, actions and substances. It is the truth when I say to you that my life only truly began when I accepted the love that Jesus so freely offers to us all.


There is only one place that I have learned through much trial and error to go when the angst’s of life threatens to overtake me and that is on my knees before God. For within “myself” there are no answers, no solutions to the storms of life and the impossibilities that surround me as a human being. Instead of going to the place of past addiction’s and bondages where I used to think that all of life’s difficulties answers lay? I now, through the power of God’s indwelling Holy Spirit, and by His mercy and grace which He has poured out in abundance upon my spirit and soul, go to my Lord and my Savior Jesus Christ who makes the impossible, possible. And the unbearable, bearable.


For within His grace lies hope and a peace which surpasses all human understanding. More love than I can ever begin to comprehend. The fullness thereof which does continually, when I can even dare hope to conceive of the immensity and enormity of it, astound me and fills me with the “awe” and reverence that belongs only to God.


There have been many dark moments in my life, but once I came to know Jesus, His light put out the darkness in my soul just as surely as a 100 watt bulb will illuminate a darkened room when it is turned on.


God is familiar with the suffering of the human spirit for He created it and left heaven to save us from ourselves and the lustful leanings which are embedded in our human DNA. He knows our suffering, troubles, pains and heartaches. He will NOT hide His face from the prayers of those who love Him, from those who are the called according to His divine purpose.


"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." {Romans 8:28}


I know for a personal fact that He is a God of love. I know this because He lives in my heart and has given me the love to write this for His glory and our good. Within the darkest of the moment’s of life’s journey God always places a golden thread of learning and of blessing for someone. It might not even be a someone which we personally are acquainted with, but it will definitely be someone, somewhere and sometime.


He is also familiar with the suffering of the human flesh because when He was here He suffered greatly upon Calvary’s terrible cross. He will reach back His hand to us in comfort and deliver those who seek Him from whatever their bondage. And they will find Him if they do so, for little do they know that He sought us long before we even considered seeking Him. To Him be the glory, the power and the honor and the highest praise forevermore.


When I stop and think of all that He went though for us, how they mocked, beat, scourged and cursed Him, then crucified Him after making Him carry His own cross, all for you and for me? Well I am astounded afresh at the way God chose to leave Heaven and come here to earth for the primary purpose of sacrificing Himself as Jesus for human kind. Who you will have to admit are, at best, wicked creatures deserving of God‘s wrath. But Jesus took it all upon Himself for those of us who will choose to accept Him exactly for who He was and is and what He has done for each one of us. He was physically resurrected by the Power of God three days later and is right now sitting at the right hand of the Throne of God interceding on our behalf’s before God.


“For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.” {1 Timothy 2:5-6}


It is only through “letting go and letting God” that I learned that we can only then begin our journeys out of the darkness and come into the Light.


While I was so terribly lost during all of the years of my active addiction I only thought of Jesus or God fleetingly in moments of desperation. I would have to come to the end of myself before I finally gave up the “me” that was making my life so miserable and hopeless. It was to be the latter part of 36+ years in bondage before “I” became physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally broken enough to truly mean it when I cried out to Him to please help me. At first it was I who was using the drugs and them somehow, and very quickly, the tables were turned and the roles got reversed and it became the drugs using me in the aspect of I became addicted right off the bat and the choice to use or not use seemed to have been taken away from me. From the get go I straightaway became addicted at twelve to thirteen years of age to the feeling of escaping outside of myself and all the problems in my life that were associated with just being “Susie”.


While most little girls were still playing with dolls and dreaming of some gallant Prince Charming to come into their lives and sweep them off their feet while riding his white horse, I was already experimenting with drugs.


My advice to you is that if you’ve never used drugs, don’t start. And if you have and are addicted to them, alcohol or anything else in your life? I am here to share with you that there is Hope to be found for you in Christ.

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