"The Promise Fulfilled ~ Part Fifteen ~

True freedom can only be found in Jesus alone

Taking the time to read your Bible is essential to a personal relationship with our Lord. You take the time to listen when your best friend speaks what's on their hearts with you don’t you? Well then, Jesus is the bestest Friend that we will ever have, so get to know Him though His Word. I heard the bible summed up like this once and it really is true, The Bible is the earthling’s “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.” Makes absolute sense.

If I had but known what has been revealed to me up till now purely by the love of a merciful, forgiving God? I would have “picked Him up” at the age of twelve or thirteen instead of that brown paper bag filled with the life changing fumes of airplane glue. I would instead have chosen to breathe in the Holy Spirit of truth instead of the father of all lies and deceit. I would have left the tricks of the enemy in the bottom of that bag which began my spiral of descent into a hell on earth that I truly believed only through my death would I ever be able to exit.

On the other hand? I can also choose to look at it as the beginning of an approximate thirty-six + year long hard road Home to the Savior’s arms at the foot of the cross of Calvary where He purchased my forgiveness and freedom. Where He also purchased yours as well, and also your salvation and deliverance from your bondage's too.

Deliverance from Bondage:
"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." {Romans 8:1-4}

In retrospect, had I not breathed into my lungs those fumes I would have saved myself a mass amount of wasted years of what could have been years of fruitfulness for the Kingdom of God. On the other hand had it not been for the depths of a truly hellish life I may never have sought the Grace of God to save me. For mankind does not have it in us to be able to save ourselves. Which is why God sent Jesus and Jesus out of love so willingly came.

I know that my family would have been spared the pain and heartache which I caused them, not to mention the shame I brought upon them by association. But like I said, had I not taken the wrong path that I did take, perhaps I may have never come to the place of brokenness, repentance, gratefulness and genuine love, worship and praise for the One and only true God who had looked down from Heaven and saw me suffering in my sins and grief and reached down His hand to me and lifted me out of the pit one fateful night.

That He heard me when I desperately and brokenly cried out His holy name, amongst all the billions of other voices who were crying out to Him at the same time as I was, still amazes me! As far as to the actual date of this occurrence the closest I can come to it is to say that it was the latter part of the 1990’s. Thank God that in His infinite mercy that I didn’t literally die before He reached down with His heart of love and compassion for the pitiful, suffering creature that I had made myself into because of that first naive choice that I had made so long ago.

Of course, being He is who He is, Omniscient, Omnipresent and Omnipotent, He always knew that I was going to come to the end of my self and reach up for Him. He always, from the foundation of the world, knew me and knew what I was going to do. That’s why, I suppose now, that He didn’t allow me to die those times when I had seriously tried to just "end it all." At the time though I truly believed I had no other choice because I couldn’t foresee any kind of a future for myself at all. I was hopeless and helpless and I could not figure out any other way that I could actually stop using drugs and cease sinning against God in the ways that I was, other than by my own death.

I am so grateful that I found out through James Robison that my drugs had, in fact, become false idols in my life which meant I was actually worshiping false “gods." Which I knew definitely was sinful in God’s sight. The only reason that I even knew that was because I had started reading His Word on a regular basis. I had been reading it off and on but with little success until I became His child by faith in His Son. But then again each time I picked up my bible to read it a "seed" was planted in my heart. For God says in the Bible that His Word would never return to Him void.

"So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." {Isaiah 55:11}

So yes, there is no doubt about it in my mind at all, I know that is why He saved my life physically and spiritually. God knew all the time exactly when it was that I was going to run to Him just like the Prodigal son did to his father in the Bible, except I was the prodigal daughter. Which is what the Parable of Jesus represents anyway, meaning God is the Father to whom we turn and run to.

Had I made a different choice that fateful day in my young life I would have learned all about this love of God represented though His Son, long, long ago. This blessed Trinity of three Persons in One Godhead, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Had that occurred I definitely would have been the Mary of the Mary, Martha and Lazarus story in the Bible. I would have chosen to do as I have learned to do now and that is to figuratively sit at the feet of Jesus through God's Word and learn of the Father’s ways.

If the Trinity of the Godhead, though He is One, is hard for you to grasp just think of the human body as Adam was made in the image of God. We ourselves are a kind of a “trinity”, if you will. By that I mean that we are spirits, we have a soul and we live in earthly bodies. So when our physical body dies it is merely our flesh that does so. But the real “us” lives on forever. Either with God for time without end in Heaven, wherever that will be, or in the Pit of hell with the demons of Satan until Judgment Day. And then in the lake of fire at the end of the age eternally separated from the Presence of God and His Son. That’s too mind boggling for me to bear the thought of! I hope it is for you too.

I have been learning these things as the years have gone by and drinking in this knowledge. I can’t hardly wait to get to Heaven and meet Jesus Christ in Person! I can barely wait to kneel at His nail pierced feet and to see the Father! Though by knowing Jesus we really will have already met Him because Jesus said that He did and said what He saw and heard the Father doing and saying.

"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." {John 15:14-16}

When we become children of God through faith in Jesus it is with our spirits that we will worship God. And we will know the truth because Jesus is the Truth. The Gospel is the truth and the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth according to Jesus and God the Father.

"But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." {John 4:23-24}

Our soul is the “intellect, will and emotions", just in case I haven’t shared this with you before. I was likening the human body to that of the Trinity in a way which I hope made it a little easier for you to comprehend that God is One, but at the same time is three Persons in one Godhead. I learned this amazing discovery through an anointed man of God by the name of Benny Hinn. I am not saying I support all that Pastor Hinn does, but I do say that truly he did help me learn some great truths about God which are clearly outlined in God’s Word.

I have a quote here from a man who was and is very respected in our history and in our present:

“The Bible is the chief moral cause of all that is good and the best corrector of all that is evil in human society—the best book for regulating the secular concerns of men.” - Noah Webster

The Bible admonishes each human being to carefully consider the state of their relationship with God through His Son because of the imperatives of their individual and personal salvation:

"Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world." {Philippians 2:12-15}

I also wanted to say in reference to Benny Hinn that never before have I heard the truths of who God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are in such a profound way. And he teaches the subject so beautifully and speaks so reverently of our Lord and God that it was a pleasure to simply learn from his teaching videos! No, as I said, I do not agree with all that he says, but I remain grateful for some of the truths he did share with me which I knew not, but, as I stated, were clearly in God's Word.

Within the pages of my do-over’s, had I any, it would be all about God and Jesus and this house of mine in which He lives though His indwelling Spirit. Our bodies are likened to “house’s” in God’s Word, and they are the place in which the human soul lives. We are supposed to control the impulses of our bodies, not them control us.

Of course I never knew anything about self-control because I never exercised it. It was all about “anything goes” with me when I was still living “in the world." I also need to say that “self-control” was and is not possible for me personally without Jesus' Spirit living inside of my heart to help me to be able to, and that not unless I am willing to yield to Him. I certainly have found this to be so in my own life. And although I haven’t been perfect in surrendering complete control to Him all the time, yet with each mistake I so hope that I am daily making progress and newly beginning to learn all over again just how important yielding is..

God deserves to be praised, worshiped and adored with every breath of our lives. Or I should say with every breath of my own personal life. Poor blinded and lost soul that I was, I never truly sought out the wonder and awesomeness that God is. I never doubted, that I can remember, that He existed but I never considered He wanted to be my own personal God. Jesus proved that!

I described God as a wondrous God because He is that and more. He is Awesome beyond measure and the fact that He left Heaven in order to clothe Himself in the guise of humanity just so that He could live a sinless life on my, and your, behalves boggles the mind.

That Jesus willingly chose to do that which He and God the Father agreed upon in Heaven before the creation of the world and yes, even before you and I were the glean in our parent's eye, fills this soul with abject astonishment to even imagine such a glorious thing!

My hope’s in sharing with you the freedom which lies in Him is that I wished for you to see that you too can escape your prison,whatever that may be, for as He unlocked the cell door to mine He will yours too if you seek Him. Once free you never have to return to that place of torment allotted especially to those who are addicted. We become prisoners locked within ourselves just as much, if not more, than those who are locked behind steel bars in actual prisons. The only difference may be that we are souls who became trapped within the lusts of our own flesh who wound up being betrayed by our own bodies and minds. Willing almost, to exchange our souls to the devil himself as we chase down the ultimate “high”.

Starting here and now, as you have begun to read the "pages" of the testimony of my life before Christ Jesus broke forever the chains that so tightly bound me. The chains that trapped me within it’s cocaine covered walls as I walked as a ghoul among this world’s walking dead in what felt as if to me was a virtual hell here on this earth. As you read my words I hope that you can see the Hope that I found, or rather who found me, who indeed sets the captive free.

As I strive to attempt to share with you what it is that I can remember, with accuracy, of the years of my life before I was made free to be able to choose not to “use?" I want for you to understand that “God is not a respecter of persons”. That is what His Word declares and His Word is truth indeed upon which we can all rely. What He did for me He will also do for you. He longs to set you free too because of His great love for you.

Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, "Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him. The word which God sent unto the children of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ: (he is Lord of all:) {Acts 10:34-36}

And also:

"My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism. For if a man comes into your assembly with a gold ring and dressed in fine clothes, and there also comes in a poor man in dirty clothes, and you pay special attention to the one who is wearing the fine clothes, and say, “You sit here in a good place,” and you say to the poor man, “You stand over there, or sit down by my footstool,” have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil motives? Listen, my beloved brethren: did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him? But you have dishonored the poor man. Is it not the rich who oppress you and personally drag you into court? Do they not blaspheme the fair name by which you have been called?

“If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all. For He who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not commit murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but do commit murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. So speak and so act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty. For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.” {James 2:2-13}

God loves you and I just as much as He loves a Billy Graham or a Charles Stanley or anyone else. If you were the only person who ever lived on earth Jesus would have come to earth to die just for you, God loves you that much!

I feel deep down within the core of my being that writing this is what my Father has called me to do. I apologize though, for my non professionalism at getting the task done. But my heart's motive's are right! And although it has taken me years of starts and stops to get this far, still I have to do it, I have to obey. That is what the part of the title which includes “The Promise Fulfilled’ is all about.

So I write down these life experiences of mine and the Source of my hope and faith for a better and more fulfilled life which for me can only be found in Christ Jesus alone. My trials and my errors on my various detours in life which ultimately led me to the Master Himself. For that reason all the years leading to here have been worth it.

When I speak of being a member of the “elite” of those who are as dead, yet living, I have and will speak to you some very painful truths about myself. The things which I have learned along the way were not gleaned by happenstance. God has given me great insight into the world in which I walked for so incredibly long. And even greater empathy for those who still walk those same excruciating highways and byways that lead nowhere here, but will end in a literal place the Bible calls hell for the dying unbeliever.

I know from past experience that deeper inside of yourselves, the you within you, that all the while you are partying, thinking at first that you must be having the world’s biggest and longest party of all time? That at the core of your being you are tired and lonely. There is no lifelong party, only prison, death and the grave are waiting for those of us who do not choose to be made free from the lifestyle to which we have become addicted.

Not only your own graves are you digging, but the emotional and sometimes physical as well, graves of just about everybody who cares anything about you. Yeah, I know exactly what the “deal” is because I lived it and I didn’t live it alone. Though I thought that whatever I did I was doing just to me, that was all a "crock" and was just another one of the numerous lies of Satan.

I even used to love that I was living that kind of non-life. Then, over the years I began to think about where I was and what I was doing and I began to read the Bible to see if perhaps it might contain the answer to my problems and my inability to overcome my addictions no matter how much I desired to. I had discovered that no matter what I did, in my own power, all I did was make my troubles worse instead of better. I needed help to overcome, and I thank God today that He drew me to open it’s pages just to see if He could help and to see what all the fuss was about. For you see, by that time I had begun to realize that “hey! I’m not having fun anymore and my life has become a living hell.

Opening a bible was sort of a last ditch type of effort for me. Oh, not that I had never read anything in it before because I believed in God, I just didn’t know who He was to me personally. It was while I was reading it that something began to work in my heart. Today I know that that “something” was in fact a Someone who is the Holy Spirit.

I leave this subject right now so that next time I can continue with my train of thought or I will wind up getting lost and retelling the same stories. I may have done that already, if so I humbly ask of you your forbearance and forgiveness.

more to come......

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