The Grim Reaper Father Time Is Coming Closer Everyday--His Story

Things were tough for me in the beginning.

In the beginning there was no Time of course. So I was out of a job.

But God was good at thinking up odd-jobs for me. He's a great boss. Couldn't ask for better.

The day of the Big Bang for example, He gave me a permit to sell beer and hotdogs to the Angels while they watched it happen. I made a killing that day. And of course, after the Big Bang there was alot to clean up.

The Man paid me top wages to do that as well. So I can't complain.

But it wasn't until He started creating things that He really needed me. I mean, you can't exactly create without the Time to do it in, now can you?

I'm still resentful of Moses. The way he cut me out of Genesis. The way it reads is this: "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. "


It's not until after all that happens that " God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day."

 As  you can see, I'm not even referred to by my proper name. Evening and morning are just synonyms. But in reality I'm an Abstract concept. Not a mere quality or feature.

I'm the real deal...but try and tell Moses that. He thought the first Israelites couldn't grasp the idea of Time. He had to 'dramatize' everything--the first drama-queen was our Moses.

But as Time passed, (and I began to get a real hang at passing it, I can tell you) I rose in prominence.

For one thing, God realized that He couldn't create everything in one day, so He asked me if I could suggest something, and I came up with the concept of the 'week' as seven days evenly divided into twenty-four hours.

He loved it and when I later invented the Sabbath He was so envious He took credit for it.

Well, like I say, He was good to me in the beginning, so I can't complain.

Of course I was the one responsible for the divisions of History. I mean, what would the fossil record be without layers of Time encoding it? What would the Middle Ages be without the Renaissance following it? Both were my idea.

Then, when Einstein came along, well he just tried to turn everything upside down. I had many sleepless nights I can tell you when he came up with that Time and Space are relative junk. Space would be nowhere without me. I mean, literally, no-where.

Eventually the quantum boys came along and tossed Mr. E=MC-squared off his high horse and now I think I'll come back into my own.

But of course, I'm getting along in years, (billions and billions of them, as Mr. Carl Sagan would say) and I won't be around forever.

Even Time isn't Eternal, you know.

Father Time - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article is about the personification of time. He is usually depicted as an elderly bearded man, dressed in a robe, carrying a scythe and an hourglass or other timekeeping device (representing time's constant movement). This image derives from many sources, including the Grim Reaper and Chronos, the Greek god of time. In various New Year's Eve customs, Father Time's image is used as the personification of the previous year (or "the Old Year"), who "hands over" the duties of time to the Baby New Year (or "the New Year").

Old Father Time
 Chronos (also known as Chronus) is the personification of time itself. Indeed, the word means "time" and is the root of "chronology" and other modern words. In mythology, he was the son of Uranus (Heaven or Sky-Father) and Gaea (Earth-Mother) and the youngest of the Twelve Titans. Upon the advice of Gaea (who understood the changes of life and knew that Uranus would never, of his own accord, yield to the younger generation), Saturn castrated his father and thus separated Heaven from Earth.