The Worn out Shoes- Love Story ended by Lightening

My Soul Mate

Laura and Billy
Laura and Billy | Source

Buzzing in the background of my humble kitchen, I heard my TV set murmuring the nightly news. As I finished drying my last dish and put it away into the light oak cupboard, I felt transfixed, glued to the sound of the story line. I could not even see the TV set from the kitchen to the living room but there was something so familiar to this story and for some reason my spirit was telling me not to look up. I moved my gaze only for a moment. I looked down to the floor. I felt so afraid, so vulnerable. What was happening? My heart started pounding and I felt my throat close as dizziness set in. I was not sure what my intuition was trying to tell me, but I had come to rely on my God given instincts which I have learned through experience, to trust. Chills crawled from my head down to my toes and I started flooding with visions. So many memories flashed before me, memories too hard to deal with that I had sworn I would never pull up again. They came and went fast and furious. I felt like someone had let all the air out of me. My legs gave way under me, I felt as if they were spaghetti noodles and I fell to the kitchen floor. Still hearing the news in the background on the 1991 Hazeltine Golf Course Golf Open, I realized why I felt this way. I sobbed for what seemed forever.

As Duran Duran played in the sun tan booth I laid in, a news flash was broadcast over the radio. Five minutes into my tan, that feeling came over me. The kind of feeling I have come to know and listen to.

It was June 13th, 1991. I had been with my new husband for one year now. I met him right after I graduated college from University of Wisconsin Stout in Menomonie Wisconsin. Billy and I had just broken up after many of years of dating. It was one of the hardest times in my life. Billy and I had talked many times of life together as man and wife. Well, those dreams never came to fruition. We just drifted apart and took different roads. Bill and I met and started our courtship young. We were in the seventh grade. He was the good looking shy boy that sat in front of me in math class. I loved to kick his chair so he would notice me. He did not say much. I was bound and determined to get him to notice me. He was so nice and patient. He never got mad at the obnoxious girl who kicked his chair for a reaction.

One day as we sat in math class, I looked at Billy and said " Billy, I want you, so I will break up with Troy." I was a complete extrovert and a very typical middle school student except for the fact that my big head assumed he would like me too. He actually asked if I had ever been in a french fry challenge before. First of all, I almost fainted that he said more than two words to me. This was a victory, I said to myself. I told him I had never been in a challenge over french fries before but I loved the idea of it. I loved french fries and knew I could eat an entire boat of them no problemo. He wanted to meet me that weekend on Friday night at the local burger joint called the Soda Fountain. I was so excited I could not wait to tell my twin sister Linda. Linda knew I had been vying for Billy's attention. She would not believe it.

The Soda Fountain was a popular hang out in the day. It was close in proximity to our home and many of the students that went to grand-view middle school. I was very good at acting strong and confident, but here I was, having to actually follow through and go on the date. I had waited and dreamt about this moment for so long. We did not call it a date though as that would be way too embarrassing. I had butterflies in my stomach thinking about how the night would play itself out. Would he like me? Perhaps once he got to know me, he would think I was really boring or worse yet, just would not be interested. Oh well, it was worth the wait and the butterflies.

Friday night came and went and I can say was a great success. Billy was such a gentle, loving soul and we talked like crazy at the Soda Fountain as we ate our fries. " I told you Billy I said, I told you I would eat all my fries." He seemed genuinely surprised that a girl could finish an entire basket of fries. We both giggled as we left the fountain. I was surprised we had so much in common. On the outside it seemed Billy and I were so different. I mean, he was so shy and I was kind of hyper and outgoing to put it nicely. I did not know then, he was to turn out to be the love of my life.

Well, I must say that was pretty much that. Billy and I were inseparable. We spent most of our time together. He and I were each others first love. We wrote each other what we called, "love poems" almost daily, since we were in a class learning how to type. I still read those letters now . I recently read them to my daughter who is twelve years old and she cried and said she wishes she could have met him. It is hard to believe that was 19 years ago.

Well, like I mentioned earlier, it was 1991 and I got in the tanning booth. My husband and I were at our year anniversary and going to the Bahamas. I needed to tan a bit before we got there since I was as white as a ghost and needed a base tan. "Oh God, I know this feeling." I felt as if I was going to die. My soul felt my high school sweetheart say goodbye. I threw open my tanning booth, got dressed and literally ran out the salon door. I can't to this day tell you what the salon owners thought of me. I did not care what they thought. As I headed toward my home, my heart pounded. I was so dizzy I did not think I should be in a car. My breathing was so heavy. What is happening to me, I asked myself. "God, please please don't let it be what my heart feels". I felt as if Billy came to say good bye to me and I did not understand this at all. It did not make any sense logically so I just kept praying that my mind was playing tricks on me.

I got to my home on Ford Road in Minnetonka, Minnesota. I opened up the garage and pulled the car in swiftly. I ran inside to my kitchen and heard the phone ringing. Again, my heart was racing and I was praying that my soul had heard it all wrong. I answered the phone knowing what I would hear. " Laura, Hi, this is Judy from high school, have you heard yet?" Have I heard what," I said as I panted loudly over the phone not wanting to listen. "Laura, Billy died today at the US Open golf tournament at Hazeltine golf course. He was struck by lightening and died." There was a long pause... I can only tell you that my heart sank, I dropped the phone and fell to the floor.

Here it is 19 years later and as I write this, I am crying. I cannot tell you how many times I have started to write this and publish it, but couldn't bear feeling all that pain again. I am now a single mom with two fantastic kids. I think and talk to Billy close to every day. I know he was my soul mate. Billy and I could tell each other anything and everything and we were so compatible. Each time in my life when I am bearing a big burden, Billy comes to my dreams. I either see him in a vision or dream talking to me. Carl Jung calls these Big Dreams. He was a Swiss psychologist and wrote many essays on how we walk on the other side with our loved ones in our Big Dreams.

In my grief I had learned that a family friend of ours helped work on Billy at the hospital. She was a nurse and was there the moment the ambulance rushed him into the hospital. She will never forget seeing him just three years earlier with me. Billy died wearing his favorite pair of shoes. They were his Minnetonka Moccasins and I remember him wearing them when we were together. These shoes were made of leather and they can last forever. I always admired the fact that Billy didn't follow the crowd or worry about what other people thought of him. Looking back, He was very mature and old in soul, so why not wear holey shoes to a golf tournament. Little did Billy know that his choice of shoes that dreadful day in Chaska, Minnesota, would be the reason he was the only person at the golf course that would die from lightening. Billy was wearing his worn out shoes...

I remember two months after Billy died. I was crying relentlessly and crying out to God to let him and I talk and spend time together. That night I got such a gift and I know it was real. Bill and I were walking on a beach with white sand. It was so lovely where we were. I told Bill that I could not believe we were together because he had died. He told me we really were together and that it would feel like seconds to him when we were back together. He told me at the end of this big dream, that in his time it would seem like a moment and I would see him in the physical millennium. I told my dad of this dream and found out that the millennium was after the 90's. He was right, of course I would die in the millennium. I knew Billy and I had been together. It helped my grief to know he was so happy.

The channel nine news rang out the story as it did each and every year since his death. It is June 13th and the anniversary of a Spring Park resident named Billy Fadell who died at the 1991 US Golf Open at Hazeltine Golf Course. It is because of this man that we now have lightening strike prevention rods in the ground to help prevent deaths on the golf course. As I heard this story again I felt sick like I did every year. This was my Billy. I still love him so. He is not a news story, he was the love of my life. The man I loved so much. I heard the end of the news story. The man with the worn out shoes. The hole in the leather shoe had taken this Spring Park mans life since the lightening had nothing to bounce off of. The Spring Park resident died due to the worn out shoes he had on his feet. The lightening went through him, leaving this man with no chance of survival.......

© Laura Rogers Arne

Comments 72 comments

Dave Sibole profile image

Dave Sibole 6 years ago from Leesburg, Oh

But wouldn't it be terrible to not know love? Thanks for sharing such deep feelings.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks Dave. Yes, I am so happy I knew real love. I am blessed.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 6 years ago from Minnesota

I miss him so much too sis. We were lucky to know and love him. Love Minnetonka Twin


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

What a good writer and thinker you are! I'm so happy you came to my site so I could find yours. I just love how you paint the scene around you with just the right choice of words which you use expertly, with feeling and comfort. I really do admire that and it is a rare combination!! I'm becoming your follower because i want to read more and keep up with what you're writing about. It's such valuable work you do!!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

I really appreciate the feedback. Thanks so much.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

What a very touching story of your love and life with and without Billy. It makes it ALMOST bearable to know that we will be reunited in the next life with those we loved and who have gone on before us.


Juliette Morgan profile image

Juliette Morgan 6 years ago

I hope you find that love again in life - thank you for sharing, it is beautifully written.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I am sorry to hear that about Billy. I believe he is smiling now from the heaven looking at you. I think you are great single mom in the word for your kids. Don't forget to pray for him. The future will better. Thanks for coming to my hub about deadly lightning. But I hope you always healthy...amen. Always smiling.... the world so beautiful, my friend!

Prasetio


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Nellianna, Peggy, Juliette and Prasetio, Thanks for the great support about the pain around Billy. I know he is smiling and giggling that I talk so much about him. He was so humble.

Healing touch


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

He died being "his own man". He wore his shoes like it was part of his religion. I'm just guessing and musing. Thank you Ma'am!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Micky Dee,

He taught me so much at such a young age. He was his own man and could care a less what others thought of him.

Healing touch


raisingme profile image

raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

Now I know why I am following you and why I love your name. I'm glad I stayed up to read just one before closing my computer down. Beautifully written, thank you for having the courage to share.


Motor leathers profile image

Motor leathers 6 years ago

Thanks for sharing this great story. It somehow reminded me "Gone with the wind" story. True love never dies and makes people live.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Raising me,

I am so glad you thought it was written well. He was the love of my life. He still watchers over me too, I feel him.

Healing touch


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Motor leathers,

I love the comparison to Gone with the Wind. I agree that love makes people live. I am so glad you read my hub on Billy and his story.

Healing touch


ralwus 6 years ago

Great writing and I know it must have been mighty hard for you to do it. I like how you put it all together and hooked me into reading every line. My deepest sympathies to you. How about a (((hug)))? you deserve it. Charlie


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

ralwus, I will take your hug. You know, you can never get enough of them. thanks so much for stopping by and your right, It was very hard to write this


green tea-cher profile image

green tea-cher 6 years ago

It is a wonderful feeling to know what it is to be someone's soul mate. No one can ever take that away from you. I think it is great that you shared your story.


pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 6 years ago from New Zealand

It is a rare gift to feel that connection to the one you love. Even after they are gone you are left with that feeling. How beautiful your story is. How wonderful it is to know you will be forever connected. Thank you so much for sharing!


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Hi Healing Touch,

Thank you for sharing this heartwrenching, yet also heartwarming story. I believe that those we love deeply do remain with us in spirit, and some people, like yourself, are able to feel and see their presence either in dreams or in visions or as strong bodily sensations.

Having just read your hub about coming full circle I know that even though you don't have another love in your life right now, you are at peace and happy. Thanks again for sharing your story.


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

A very heartwarming story Healing Touch. Billy is with you in spirit and one day you'll be together once again.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

greenteacher,

Thanks so much for coming by. Your so right. No one can take the memories from me. I dreamdt the other night he was alive. Ahh it was awesome.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Pennyofheaven,

I so appreciate your most loving comments


jantamaya profile image

jantamaya 5 years ago from UK

Soulmates shouldn't be separated.

Thank you for sharing your precious memories.

Very good written hub.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

jantamaya,

I am so glad you read my hub on Billy. I so appreciate it.


Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

Hi Healing Touch, I just found you today...and am beginning to read your stories...This was a powerful story. Blessings


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Enlydia Listener

I am so glad your following me. This is a tough story even after all these years. Billy still comes to visit me. I just walked with him the other night in my Big dream.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Billy reminds me of my younger son, who is indeed "his own man". What a wonderful gift that is! I am so sorry for your loss. I know something of your grief and pain, as I lost my older son to cancer. I wish you peace, you dear, sweet lady. Love...vocalcoach


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

A sad and touching story that has made a lot of people think about you and Billy. You have done the right thing by writing about it and sharing your love of and with him with strangers and your family. You realise. of course, that you are keeping him alive by thinking of him and dreaming of him, and i believe that as long as you need him, he will be there within your soul and also in spirit.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Vocal Coach

I love that you have a son that is his own man. Peace to you and your son that you lost to cancer. I wish you much peace back to you.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Twilight Lawns,

I do feel him around me at times. His dad just passed away this week and I could see sparks of light around me. Thanks so much


mattmilamii profile image

mattmilamii 5 years ago from Chicago - Be A Blessing... Become A Hand Of God

Dear Healing Touch,

Pain is an awful feeling and it’s not necessary to experience the great feeling of joy. It is however necessary so that we can understand the importance of joy. Your experience, and the sharing of it has not only made your joy meaningful, but has allowed us a deeper understanding of how important real joy is. I pray you continue to find comfort in the joys of Billy’s memory. It’s one of the things that gives us the feel of your “Healing Touch.”

“Blessings”


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

mattmilamii

You have such a way with words. Your totally right on understanding pain brings joy. Blessings to you


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK

A heart breaking tale and you tell it so well. To have loved and lost - some say it's better- but it stays with us for life. Beautifully written- thanks for sharing!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Docmo

Thanks so much for your lovely support. The pain does stay, but the love does too.


theseus profile image

theseus 5 years ago from philippines

What a sad story to tell.I admire your strength.Despite the sad ending, you are lucky to have known and felt such a kind of love. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself to us. God bless you.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

theseus

Blessings to you as well. Yes, I was so lucky to know Billy.


Joyce Lansky 5 years ago

Lightning? What a freak accident! So sorry.

Joyce

http://joycelansky.blogspot.com


Jenn 5 years ago

I can't imagine losing someone like that...your connection to him was quite strong. What a blessing to know a love like that...

Cheers, Jenn.


Gill Mojo 5 years ago

That made me cry so much. I was with you every step of the way as you told the story. I know you will always have Billy in your life and I am so glad you can still share everything with him. *hugs*


Brenda 5 years ago

Thank you for highlighting this for us; was so touched by your first writing and here i find out how he died.

Lightening strikes happen on sunny days; work in a Level 1 Trauma Center, sadly "holy" shoes or not; nature takes lives. One young man, playing soccer on a sunny day; running towards the goal. (i suppose we all are) He came to us with small entry and exit wound; crown of head to sole of right foot; gone instantly; nothing we could do.

He felt no pain...this was the solstice.((hugs))


Diana Jillian 5 years ago

This must be tough. Sometimes things happen for a reason.


Healing touch 5 years ago

Diana, Jenn, Brenda and Gill Mojo

I am so glad you took the time to read how he died. Thanks for your kind words. Yes, Billy is always there when I am down and out. My angel Billy.


Spark 5 years ago

Very touching piece... You have amazing courage !


Word Nerd 5 years ago

Oh, this was...just amazing. Wrenching. Touching. Wow. ?


Kathy 5 years ago

So terribly sorry for you loss. I can't imagine how people can sing song about "Better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all!" Tell that to someone who actually has lost someone. A heart wrenching post that touched me.

Kathy

http://www.thetruckerswife.com/


Arren123 profile image

Arren123 4 years ago from UK

Lovely Hub Laura, I'm so sorry to hear about Billy


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

This was a touching story. My grandson said it was the 91 US open, What a freak accident, and your fear about something happening was so real. You are a great storyteller. I hope you have a happier life now. You never forget your first love. You told about how you got together, and I could just picture the happening. We need to live every day to its fullest. You know that better than anyone. Good luck with your writing. Nice to have made your acquaintance on this hub.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Brakele2- Thanks for your nice comments. I do love to tell a good story, this one not so great but my life is so great. I am so happy and could not be happier. I also like you got my degree in Psycholgoy and minored in Sociology. I feel I should have gone into journalism. Maybe we both will some day. I mastered in counseling psychology too.

Laura


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks Buddy. All is well now and he is always there protecting me when I need him.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks Kathy. Yes, he taught me so much. He is my angel now.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks so much.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Wow, thanks so much.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

What a perspective. level one trauma worker. wow!! God wanted him for sure.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Hugs right back to you. Life is good and actually great now and Billy is my angel watching over me.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

He was amazing Jenn. Thanks for stopping.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

I know it was so weird. Now I have an angel in heaven.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks Docmo, Life is great now.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks so much. It was so healing to write it all down.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

We will be together in heaven again. You got that right. Thanks so much.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Awww thanks so much HappyBoomernurse


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks for the kind words pennyof heaven


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Thanks so much green teacher


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Hugs back to you Ralwus


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

You are so right!!!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

so sweet for you to say. Thanks


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Correct you are my friend


carter06 profile image

carter06 3 years ago from Cronulla NSW

Wow this is so powerfully emotive Healing Touch! So glad I came across your too sad but endearing story..so brave of you for sharing this piece of your heart..take care


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Cartero6

Thanks so much for reading this. It was a tough one to write.


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 3 years ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

It was very difficult for me to finish this pouring out of a hurting heart. I knew love too and l also knew and know loss. I have never talked to her or been visited by her since. I envy you for having that chance. Beautifully shared from the heart. Thank you.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Cam8510

Thanks so much for reading this. I definitely feel that as sad as this is, " To have loved and lost is better than no love at all",

Billy is always there for me in spirit when I am in need of extra love.

Blessings to you


rls8994 profile image

rls8994 2 years ago from Mississippi

This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this story. What a beautiful way to honor his memory :)

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