Things I Wanted To Be

She Was So Lovely

My eyes were locked upon her. My ears were tuned to her every word. She appeared , so modern and fashionable. She was a walking definition of success and of femininity. She was pretty, with her dark locks falling across her blue dress.

Surely, songs were written for her. Poets longed to define her. Hearts must break over her. She was everything a young girl wished to be.

She was my second grade teacher.

I would spend many hours, with a piece of Granddad's whet stone in my hand, though I called it, in my childish voice, stone chalk. I would face the blackboard, which in reality was a rain barrel.....long before the benefits of nature were gaining their own movement and national attention.

Standing before dogs, cats, raccoons, elderberries, clucking chickens.....the audience was not important. I stood there, in reality, talking only to myself, giving lessons in spelling, math, geography.......I was in charge, and authoritative.

I was like her......the woman of a childish fantasy.

A Trip to the Airport

She descended the steps, looking both, glamorous and professional. Indeed she was both.

Her blonde hair was pinned neatly above her dark blue uniform.   Oh, those golden locks...dow dreamy they seemed.  She showcased, she owned, confidence, ability, hospitality and a knowledge of the world. How kind she was to escort my Grandmother to her airline seat. She alone, brought beauty to the world. If I could not be 'her', I would not be anything at all.

With her as my inspiration, I traveled the world, and came back again.

I was at home anywhere.

Crowds would welcome me back.

Shops would invite me in, seeking my worldly advice.

She took me everywhere, then she brought me home.

She taught me how to pack.

She coached me on the different languages, that I would fluently speak.

She exposed me to the wines I would drink, the dishes i would taste, the beaches I would lay upon......

She took me there and she watched over me.

 

In The Doctor's Office

She smiled at me. She promised it would not hurt. She was kind.

Her hands were soft and gentle.

So were her words.

Doctors snapped to her orders.

She was in command. People respected her. They asked her questions.

They listened to her words.

They sought her advice. Doctors asked her for the benefit of her hands own experience.

She had everything that I wanted.

She had a fabulous career and a family of her own.

She was balance in motion.

She would take me from backwoods healing and

straight into the face of modern medicine.

She was the force that drove me onward.

She was smart!

 

The Piano

How cool it would be......

When the people threw money at me, just to hear my song.

I would play for myself, of course.

With my words, and my song,

I would right the world.

It would be ME who united the world.

Expressing heartache, grief, loss......

Only to heal human emotion again.

I would be loved, and I would sing and

play of love in return.

All I needed was...... a piano.

I could right the world, if only, I  had

that piano.

Witches

I was accustomed to getting shortchanged by bigger, older and wiser brothers.

Someday, I would 'fix' them.....they would be sorry.

Through her cauldron, I would right the wrongs.

I would turn them into toads.

Their tears would fall in my name.

Hair would fall out.

Balls would be fumbled, and hoops missed.

Shoes would come untied at critical moments.

I would be in charge, righting every childish wrong done to me.

I could use Grandmother's wash-pot.

All I needed was the magic spells.

All they had to do was..........wait!

Then, they would be sorry.

They would apologize.

She had it all..
She had it all..
Give me this...
Give me this...

This Woman

Beautiful woman.

Fabulous home.

Obedient children.

Adoring husband.

Kool-aid houses.

Spacious green lawns.

Groomed dogs.

Directing careers.

Guiding dreams.

I would be the woman of leisure.

There would be nothing to worry about.

I would be pampered and spoiled.

Too much money to count.

Team captain.

Brownie leader.

Summer camp counselor.

Vacations on a whim.

Latest, modern inventions would be mine.

Fine furniture.

Diamond encrusted jewelry.

Fabulous tableware.

Exotic art.

Fashion.

Tools that others would operate.

The Sears catalog........give me every other page.

Send the bill to my husbands office.

He would pay for my gold.

What I Am

Like you, I have many facets.

I am a daughter, a wife , and a mother, a sister.  Those are roles, they are not my essence.

Within myself lies an appreciation for things that have gone before me. Tolerance and rejection are at my fingertips. Hope for the tomorrows are alive inside me.

It is now enough, to be here, among those I love, who love me, and you.

I grew up to be a part of your world, even if you never see my face or hear my voice.

It is the same for you, you are my neighbor, therefore a part of my world.

Shall we live peacefully beside each other, love, comfort, encourage one another?

The very least we can do, is to cause no harm........

My 'real' life is bigger than my dreams and admirations ever dared to be.

It is now a gift to just...........be here.  As I am.  Expecting no more and accepting no less.  This is my life and my journey.  I shall embrace it.

I have grown up.

What did you want to be? Are you that person?

More by this Author


Comments 42 comments

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 6 years ago from California Gold Country

You did a beautiful job on this. . . . making us see the idealized view that only a child can really perceive.


Judicastro profile image

Judicastro 6 years ago from birmingham, Alabama

Hi Ylonda dear! I wanted to be a Dr. and it was birthed out of a desire to help get my Daddy well. He passed away when I was 13 but I did not lose my heart for people. Went into medicine for a season, not as a Dr, but as a technician. Now I help put people to work.


giselle2323 profile image

giselle2323 6 years ago from Peterborough, Ontario

Wonderful, beautiful and insightful. The dream of who we want to be, with the reality of we have become can be jarring, But you have created a piece that gels the two seamlessly.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Rochelle Frank,

Thanks for your kind words.

We never know the impact we

are making on children, or how

they are sizing us up!

I appreciate you coming to read~


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Judicastro,

Isn't life funny?

Turns out, I do not

even like to fly!

Thanks for visiting me.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Giselle2323,

You generosity and graciousness,

truly inspire me. You are like

a breath of fresh air.

Thank you for the support you

give my reading my hubs.


jrsearam profile image

jrsearam 6 years ago from San Juan, PR

I wanted to be a professional surfer. While I am not exactly that person, I do still surf with my kids, which is probably better than surfing in Hawaii, as a pro, by myself. Apparently things turn out for the best; at least as far as I can tell. I really enjoy your writing OGW. It's always nice to drop by for a visit and a read. Blessings, JR


vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 6 years ago from New York State

a beautiful write by a beautiful lady, such talents you have and the people you inspire. Great job. I always enjoy reading your hubs as you have a varity of things to read.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Jrsearam,

It does seem as though life has a way

of leading us to it....

Now, when I cross the lakes and see

people playing on the water, I will

think of you.

Thanks for your support!


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Vietnamvet68,

What a lovely thing for you to say,

and for me to hear~~

Of all my possessions,

my memories are the most valued.

Thanks for taking the time to

read my hubs.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

I love this hub. You have done something that many adults can't. You let us see the world through a child's eyes. Wonderful hub. Voted up and awesome.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

KoffeeKlatch Gals,

How very good to have you here!

Thank you so much for your

kindness.....you have given

me a lot to live up to, I will

try to be worthy~~


Dave Sibole profile image

Dave Sibole 6 years ago from Leesburg, Oh

You have a beautiful gift of expression. I loved it.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Dave Sibole,

It is truly, I, who thanks you....

for the gift of appreciation.

I am humbled before you.

thank you for coming, reading,

appreciating, and comentting.

It is the appreication that

keeps me going.


kimh039 profile image

kimh039 6 years ago

Very nice to meet you OGW. This was very compelling and expressive....and unique. Nicely done. Thank you.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Thank you on all counts Kimh039.

It is nice to have you here,

reading my hub!

Pleased to meet you as well!


reminder 6 years ago

it does not matter what a man wants to be, it is in any way it wants to achieve.

It is very important to know that everything we want to achieve their own power. this energy lies within us that is our driving force. in a spiritual sense, we are constantly reminded of the renewal of our energy in order to have sufficient strength to withstand the obligations that are before us.

http://spiritualreminder.blogspot.com/


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Reminder,

I have been watching all day,

for your first hub. It has not

yet appeared, leaving me with no

sense of you who are.

I would say, therefore, that

the greatness of a man, and

the dreams of a little girl

are WORLDS apart.

As always, new visitors

are welcomed here.


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

To know you is to love you as God Himself loves you.

Brother Dave.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Dave Matthews

What a lovely thing to say!

Thanks for coming by.


nirojlama 6 years ago

this website is very popular in the world.it can be give some people oppertutnity.then i proud of this job and i like so much.it can be help to economic problem.so that, everyone people do this tasksworkers.com website this job.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Nirojlama,

I am grateful that you found your way to my hub.

There does appear to be a language barrier.......

I am not promoting the idea that I have

answers for universal problems. I simply

am not qualified.

I speak from my heart.....and you are

welcome to partake, but I am no world

leader, nor am I am a "great" among

humainty.

No, I am but a lone and simple voice,

in a sea of voices.


Laura 6 years ago

In real life, our thoughts reflect our day to day activities. Having dreams keeps us get going with a satisfaction of things happening live. Interesting to read...


SJKSJK profile image

SJKSJK 6 years ago from delray beach, florida

Good Writing. It great to be able to see life through the eyes of a child. Good read.


Shona Venter profile image

Shona Venter 6 years ago from South Africa

Well written, onegoodwoman. As they say, dreams are merely the entry hall to reality.

PS...when all of the other little girls in my class wanted to be ballerinas, I wanted to drive a Kenworth bigrig truck cross-country...


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Laura,

Thank you for coming by and reading.

It is always good to see a new reader.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

SJKSJK,

Thanks!

Glad you came by and visited.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Shona Venter,

Thanks for coming by.

Did you drive that rig?

Women do these things today.

Go for it!


gachapoz profile image

gachapoz 6 years ago

I really enjoyed this hub, it came through so honestly. The words were innocent and compassionate. Wonderful read.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Gachapoz

Welcome to HubPages.

I am glad you came by to read

my hub.

So glad you enjoyed it!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

This is an outstanding Hub blessed with terrific writing. I used to dream when I was a boy that I was on Johnny Carson. He would say, "Jimmy, you've been a star quarterback in the NFL, played in the NBA, played centerfield for the Chicago Cubs, your last album sold millions of copies, you have a gorgeous wife and beautiful children. What's next for you?"


Pachuca213 6 years ago

this was lovely...I always wanted to be a famous singer (although I was able to record professionally) I never went full fledge into the entertainment world. I wanted to be a model, and I got to do that too, but also didn't like the way that element was either....I wanted to be a writer too, and look now I am doing that! So I guess I got a chance to be all the things I wanted to be at one point. I liked this alot.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

James A Watkins

I trust you to ask.......who of us can speak

of childhood dreams?. Who of us dare to speak of

those that 'adults' carry?

We are all bound by inner fears.

Your own contribution to breaking those

is not lost on me.

May God's Blessings and man's

triumphs follow you, always...........


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Pachua213,

As it turns out..........

I do not like to fly, and I have never

mastered the piano............

Who of us is to say,"What"

life is a gift given to us.......

shall we embrace what we have been given?

I dare, say , yes................


sunbeams profile image

sunbeams 6 years ago from Cairns , Australia

Loved your article ! So creative !


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Sunbeams,

Glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for telling me so!


breathe2travel profile image

breathe2travel 6 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

another masterfully written exposition of your essence.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town Author

Breathe2travel.....

Glad you came by!

Thanks for the lovely words.


DavePrice profile image

DavePrice 5 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

I had no real dreams of what I wanted to be, I only knew what I didn't want to be. I became what I didn't want to be, and I could not be happier in life than I am right now.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 5 years ago from A small southern town Author

My wise Grandpa, once said,

No one is worthless.

If nothing else, they serve as a good, bad example.

My own mantra, " I am what

I am",

my children say this is not good enough.

Let us be, each of us, what we are.

Comfort and belonging is where we find them.

The more that I dream......

at the end of the day, I see me, in the mirrors reflection.

Dave, there is room and a place for each tormented voice.

Travel well, my friend.......


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Just wanted to be me and know, that just being me, was o.k. My mother assured me, that it was so. I've seen the same assurance given to my children from a mother that somehow, inherently knows, that this is what her children need. Don't know what I want to be when I grow up, because I will always be, just me. Mom said, it was o.k. Beautiful, well written, and evidence, that you like being you. Congradulations.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 5 years ago from A small southern town Author

Arb,

I do like being me....now, but I

had to grow into it. Surrounded

by big brothers, growing up, it felt

like there wasn't much I could offer,

and I was always coming in 2nd.

It is not that way now.

It's good to see you here.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working