What Made Me An Atheist


This may hurt the feelings of believers and could even obliterate their faith. It is advisable that if you are someone who would like to keep your faith, rid yourself from reading on.



I guess we were all born not having any beliefs in anything. As children, we only start believing in something when we were told by our parents that such a thing is real. We look up to our parents as an authority and as a source of truth, moral values and ethics.

Their demonstration of zeal to something contributes greatly to the solidifying of our inherited convictions. We see them as virtuous, and they serve as an inspiration to us.

We learn our basic understanding of the world from them and they teach us how to survive in it. Therefore, they are indeed the greatest influence in our life.

That is why children will behave according to what they have learned at home. What you've learned from home holds a great part of your whole self.

Growing Up

As a baby, I wasn’t asked if I would like to be baptized or not. As a result, without my consent, with just a sprinkle of the holy water, and the priest’s orations, I became a Christian Catholic. That sealed my Christianity whether I have the faith or not, and whether I truly believe it or not.

It was not my parents’ fault though; it’s a Catholic tradition, and because they want me to be nothing more but a Christian, it seems to be a good option. It’s just odd that you’d get a certificate even before studying the matter and even prior to graduation.

Like any normal child, I, of course, have many questions. Questions vary from anything silly to dead serious.

I remember always asking my father random questions like who’d win between a lion and a tiger? How many raindrops are there in a storm? Why is my pee-pee different from my sister’s? Why can’t animals talk? How do you drive when you don’t have toes? How do amputees play table tennis? Do dead people get buried with their underwears on? The list just goes on.

My father’s best honest answer would always be: I don’t know. And, since internet isn’t well introduced yet, I’ve only got my parents to ask.

My parents introduced me to God. My father will read to me the Bible every night. It somehow ceased when he got busier. I also attended Catholic Schools from Elementary to High School. I seldom attend the weekly mass, though.

I was abundantly supplied with information about God. I was constantly fed, and educated. It was non-stop. My friends were also the same. I thought all human beings were believers.

Skepticism Rising

Even though the knowledge about God is abundantly supplied, nothing registered really. Nothing got stuck in my mind. Every verse from the bible that has been read to me ever since just comes and goes as to cars in the road that quickly passes by.

There’s just something in it that’s not right. Deep in my heart I know something’s not right. To me, they are empty words with exception of course for the moral ones. My questions became more complex and complicated and the answers I get are still obscure.

Suddenly, I started thinking, am I the only one? Does anyone ever question? Everybody seems to willingly submit.

But yes, I prayed. I did. I still somehow tried convincing myself that God is listening, though I cannot confidently claim that those prayers were addressed without the slightest doubt.

The prayers were genuine, but the thought that if someone is really listening is the part I struggle with.

I Got Convinced

Living in the age of information, sources of knowledge is abundant in the vast internet ocean; we become daily aware of all science’s discoveries and achievements.

The questions that haunts and plagues me suddenly became the answer that there really was no God after all. The questions had been proven to be unanswerable. Not one of the given answers suffice. Even the most rational theist seemed to only utter outrageous excuses than to really provide credible answers.

I was convinced. Religion was man-invented, and it’s just there to rid mankind from doing immoral things, so that everyone can live in good harmony.

I believe that our modern secular world adopted the ideas of our primitive ancestors because they are so effective, and since they’ve got no better alternatives, they willingly have accommodated it and unhesitatingly complied.

Compelling Arguments and Evidences

There are hundreds to list, but I would only list the strongest arguments and evidences that finally convinced me. All of these arguments backed up with the evidences make great sense. They had a polarizing effect on my belief that eventually led me to disbelief.

a. Age of the Universe.

Contrary to the Bible’s claim that the universe was created for only about six days by God, the Universe was found to have an estimated 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of age.

I know that the interpretation of the 1st chapter of Genesis varies from different denominations, but if taken literally and with its context, it suggests that the universe was created for only six days, hence, implying that the universe is less than 10,000 years old.

The 6-day period of the whole creation is actually the establishment of the 7-day week period by God, having the 7th day as Sabbath because in that day, He rested.

This clearly shows that we cannot rely on the Bible if we're talking about the history of the universe.

b. Speed of Light.

What about the speed of light? We measure the distances in the universe through light-years, right? How does it work? Let’s do some math. (Oh No!)

Light travels at 186,000 miles per second.

186,000 miles/second * 60 seconds/minute * 60 minutes/hour * 24 hours/day * 365 days/year

So, in a year, light could have travelled 5,865,696,000,000 miles. This is equal to 1 Light-Year.

Consider the galaxies in the Neighboring Superclusters, they are 1 billion years away from us. That means it took 1 billion years before it became visible in our night sky, thus, again, contradicts what the Bible says about the age of our planet and the universe.

c. All These For Me?

With the universe existing for 14 billions of years and the human specie having just arrived some 200,000 years ago, and with the universe’ vast enormous space filled with massive stars and planets, and with humans only residing in a puny planet, don’t tell me that God created all of these having only humans to be the subject of His design.

If He made the stars to give light to us at night, what about the unseen ones? What about those stars that doesn’t give us light? What about the many cosmological explosions? Blackholes? Are all these for me? It just doesn’t make sense.

With all these heavenly bodies hanging there in the cosmos, I just couldn’t figure out what those heavenly bodies that hangs in the cosmos have in relevance in my existence, in my life.

d. Evolution by Natural Selection, not Creation.

With billions of years to consider, there is room for evolution. This is actually what Charles Darwin had struggled with, because in his time, it was strongly believed that the age of the universe is exactly what the Bible says.

If that is true, then evolution couldn’t happen, but if it is false, it would be the most threatening fact theists will have to overcome with.

Evolution in contemporary science is now considered as fact and no longer a theory. Many will argue that a worm will never become a dog. That’s because they don’t understand Evolution by Natural Selection is at all.

Evolution by Natural Selection is simply defined as the process by which species adapt to their environment. From this definition, it suggests that species will have a common ancestor adapting to the environment they’re in and evolved to what they are now.

This photo provides a very good explanation on how it works.


The photo shows one animal kind: elephant. What do the Mammoth, the Asian Elephant, and the African Elephant differ with each other? Almost nothing, just their shapes and tusks.

It clearly presents that the Primelephas became Mammoths, Asian Elephants, and African Elephants because their bodies have adapted to their environment’s dictates.

This is also understood from the fossils we find. The fossils suggest that the current species (say Asian Elephants) we have did not exist million years ago because no such fossils were found, but instead, we found something else, their ancestors (say Primelephas).

The best explanation for not having found the current species we have in the past, and in contrast, those ancient animals also can no longer be found alive today, but anyhow left marks of existence through fossils is evolution.

Applying this to our kind will prove that apes and humans have a common ancestor, not that we came from apes, we’re just in the same family. Also, the variations of people’s skin color or races are observably apparent that it was caused by how much light they are exposed to, adapting to nature’s demands.

We became humans, not made.

e. Where Are The Human Fossils?

If God created man to co-exist with the animals, then why can’t we find human fossils dating back to those of the dinosaurs’? They’re supposed to be together, right? Why? Simple. Because no humans were existing back then.

Sure, there are human fossils dug by archeologists but these do not suggest that humans were among the first ever species who inhabited the earth.

f. My Good, Loving Friends Are Going To Hell?

If you were born in a Hindu family, you’d be a Hindu; if on a Muslim family, you’d be a Muslim; if born in an Atheist family, most certainly, you’d also be an Atheist. I have Hindu friends, Muslim friends, Buddhist friends, and Atheist friends. They’ll all go to hell whether they’re good or not.

These people are respected for their integrity. They are loving fathers, loyal husbands, good citizens, and good to be friends with. However, they don’t believe in any other beliefs aside from theirs, thus, reject Christianity.

But, no one comes to the Father except through our Lord Jesus Christ, hence, they are damned.

They will be cast and tormented into the lake of fire, and there along with them are carcasses of men, where they gnash their teeth, cry in screaming howl, their worms don’t die, and the fire is not quenched where their souls are burned forever and ever without ever ceasing.

But…. God loves them.

g. Inerrant Bible?

The Bible is full of contradictions. Just search the internet for these contradictions because I’m afraid it will really eat space in this hub. If I list them down here, you’ll just be overwhelmed, and end up not reading them anyway.

Take for example, the four gospels. These gospels, that is supposed to be the most precise because it tells the story of the life, ministry, and death of our Lord Jesus Christ is in fact having the most contradictions.

Let's look at one example:

What did the centurion say when Jesus died?

excerpt from Luke 23:47
excerpt from Mark 15:39
"Surely this man was a righteous man"
“Surely this man was the son of God!”

This certainly looks contradiction to me.

h. Christianity Is Just A Copy Cat.

Perhaps, this is very well presented in the Zeitgeist movie. The Life of Jesus were just copied from Horus, Mithra, Dionysis, Krishna, Zoroaster, Attis, and many more pagan gods.

Let’s take a look at some of the similarities, for now, only between Jesus and Horus:

Born of a virgin
Born of a virgin
Only begotten son of God
Only begotten son of God
Mother's name is Miriam - Mary
Mother's name is Isis-Meri
Foster father's name is Joseph
Foster father's name is Jo-Seph a.k.a Seb
Was of royal descent
Was also of royal descent
Birth is announced by an angel to his mother
Birth is announced by an angel to his mother
Was heralded by a star at birth
Was heralded by a star at birth
Born on the winter solstice, December 25th
Born on the winter solstice, December 25th
First witnesses of birth were shepherds
First witnesses of birth were shepherds
Followed by three wise men
Followed by three deities
Began his rituals at age 12
Began his rituals at age 12
Baptized at the age of 30
Baptized at the age of 30
Baptizer was eventually beheaded
Baptizer was eventually beheaded
Was tempted by the devil
Was tempted by his arch rival
Resisted temptation
Resisted temptation
Has 12 disciples
Has 12 disciples
Walked on water, cast out demons, healed the sick, restored sight to the blind, and calmed the sea
Walked on water, cast out demons, healed the sick, restored sight to the blind, and calmed the sea
Raised Lazarus from the grave
Raised Osiris from the grave
Transfigured on a mountain
Transfigured on a mountain
Was crucified along with two thieves
Was crucified along with two thieves
Buried in a tomb
Buried in a tomb
Descended into hell and resurrected after three days
Descended into hell and resurrected after three days
Resurrection were announced by women
Resurrection were announced by women
Will come back and reign a thousand years in the millenium
Will come back and reign a thousand years in the millenium
excerpt from http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_jcpa5b.htm

Whew!.... Staggering! Impressive!

i. Why Can’t God Heal An Amputee?

An amputee is someone whose limbs were cut off. We have seen people got healed by just uttering pleading prayers, and attribute the alleged healing miracle to God. For all we know, there could have been a biological, medicinal, or scientific explanation for the healing process.

So, if God really hears prayers, why can’t he grow back a hand that was cut off? Because this is something our self-healing body mechanism cannot do, we expect it to not happen at all.

So, if God was the responsible for all the alleged healings, sure, this one would be easy. I’d bet even the most sincere prayer could not and will not ever grow back a limb.

New Found Liberty

What is my initial response or reaction? Happy? No! It was Grief, and Frustration.

Grief, because all this time I’ve been trying to talk to someone who isn’t even there. Frustration, because I suddenly thought of my friends and loved ones who are still in their faith, but couldn’t do anything but to be silent.

It was a very disappointing experience. Later in time, I’ve learned to calm my emotions and have just accepted how the world is today, how people think and how they choose to live their lives. Being in this new found liberty, I became more grateful of my life not having anyone to be held accountable with of the choices I make in life. The possibilities appeared in abundance; and anything is just achievable.

I felt like a bird freed from its cage and finally enjoys the breeze of air that touched my face and feathers, and my once concealed inherent skill of flying. Every waking in the morning is more beautiful than ever and the whole day is filled with gratitude for the joy of existence here in the world abundant with great possibilities.

How and Where Am I Now?

Living my life without having any religious beliefs to dictate my behavior and actions was very fulfilling. However, I recently realised that I'd been missing something. It never occurred to me in my early days of being an Athiest, but there was just a void in my heart and I don't know what it is. It's almost unrecognizable. I am too preoccupied to even notice it, so I just constantly ignored it for I thought it would never be of any use to me anyway.

I didn't know what I've been missing until God opened my heart and mind and made me realize that He's the one I need, and finally the void in my heart was filled.

I'd been converted back to Christianity less than a year ago, and I know this revelation would somehow be disappointing and confusing to the non-believers. Christianity has been the most humbling experience of my life, and of my family's lives.

We now enjoy living the Christian life and also are very grateful for what the Lord has done for us. Oh, how I’d love to share with you my story, but I decided to reserve it for my next hub.

I repented. I got ashamed of my past actions and behavior, especially to the Lord, my God. I suddenly realized that He allowed me to question Him so I would find the answer. It was as if He deliberately let me experience life without Him in it so that life in His presence would be far more worth having.

My faith has never been stronger before like it is now. I will never doubt again, and I, along with my family will glorify His name with undying endurance forever.

God Bless!

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Kim Cantrell profile image

Kim Cantrell 5 years ago from Deep In The Pages of a Book

I was raised southern Pentecostal and just went through my young years believing - just because I was supposed to. In my later years, however, I have began to question a lot of what I've been taught. I've come to the decision that the bible may not be 100% correct (after all, we know there are several books of the bible that has been deleted) and, considering the numerous other universes we know about, I'm not fully convinced Earth is the only place with intelligent life. But too many times I have witnessed things that miraculous to explain away with science, so I believe there is a great being that me - I choose to call him God.

aslaught profile image

aslaught 5 years ago from Alabama

So let me get this straight. You went from christian to atheist and back to christian? Shakes head. After all the valid, truthful, arguments you made, you gave it all up and went back? I'm sorry, I'm just very confused about your hub.

BioRealistic 5 years ago

Then...you are living proof that gullibility is not something that logic and rational thought can overcome, at least not in some. I was raised just as you were, but only Lutheran, and went to church through my teens.

The main reasons I can see for people believing their religious delusions are their fear and the need of something to help them cope with life as well as death.

Some people turn to drugs, some to alcohol, others to religion some to a combination of them.

Of course I could really care less what delusional thoughts other people have as long as they don't harm anyone. Obviously religion has done its fair share of damage as has the God these believers’s worship. Just read the Bible as you suggested, this God of yours is truly a Monster, so this leads me to the question of what kind of decent, moral human being would follow such a monster. Maybe one that is too weak to face life and death for what they are, fleeting and permanent, one has to wonder.

It's also quit funny that people reject all the Gods of past cultures. The ancient Greeks had their Gods, the Egyptians had theirs, the Mayan had theirs and every other culture that has come and gone, but of course you have the Right God, sounds just a bit arrogant to me, much like the God you worship. After all, there have been thousands of Gods worshiped, but you’re sure you got the right one, or are you?

As for proof that God exists, is very easy to prove he doesn't. Mankind is living proof, after all, how could an All-knowing, All-powerful entity that is so lonely he had to create us to love him, screw that up so, so, bad? We are proof in the pudding; he couldn't exist unless he was just an idiot god. He would have had to of known (being all-knowing) the consequences of free will, yet he went on with his plan, knowing all along that many would burn in hell of eternity. What kind of monster would do such a thing, I mean other than this God you believe in?

If you truly did revert back to your delusional state, I'm very sorry you didn't have balls big enough to stand on your own, but don't fret my friend, very few do.

Keep the faith, and enjoy your delusion, like life, it's only temporary.

We must question the story logic of having an All-Knowing, All-Powerful God, who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.

Gene Roddenberry

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi Kim

Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you liked the hub.

Yes, there are supernatural events still happening even in our modern days; I'm just not sure if we could attribute all of them to God. I'm still skeptical on things like speaking in tongues, and things of the same sort. I am planning to write about those in my future hubs. I hope you'll wait for those.

Thanks for the fan mail. I'll be sure to check some of yours.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi Aslaught

I've already anticipated that someone would be confused in this hub, especially those who couldn't figure out how on earth will i be a christian again. I believe this particular hub will be a tremendous challenge for me explaining why i came back to christianity in my next hub. My intention in publishing this hub really is to show that even the most informed atheist could still be a christian, but explaining how would really be a challenge. Some even say you'll have to compromise with your intellect before that happens. I disagree. Well, i'll try to explain things to the best i can in the next hub; and of course, i should anticipate many critiques to throw questions at me, and let us allow them to come for everybody's benefit.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi BioRealistic

Of course you have the right to think what you want. I am somehow expecting such contemptuous comments like this. Anyhow, I am curious at your convictions, but couldn't seem to have a glance at your profile and hubs. I wonder if there's something wrong.

Voronwe profile image

Voronwe 5 years ago

It's very apparent that this hub should have a sequel/a follow-up and also since you said that your intention of publishing this hub was to show how an informed atheist could still be a Christian...which you'll explain in the next hub. I'm really curious to know how. I believe in God myself (non-religious theist).

I don't believe that religion is a delusion. The word 'delusion' is too carelessly used. Humans often live with delusions...whether they are aware of it or not and most delusions aren't related to religion at all.

And also it's not as if you didn't have the courage to stand up on your own as Aslaught said. Once you are an atheist and reject God, where does 'courage' come into the equation? Is Atheism all about courage to turn back on established religions?...I know some atheists who turned to atheism only to prove that. Courage to stand up for atheism is different than the courage to leave a religion.

So, I'm to understand that some part of you (rational or not) didn't accept atheism on all accounts.

The chief argument that atheists present is this-

"To argue that there is no God, one has to prove that there is God."

All believers will produce evidence as to why they believe in God...but they're never rational enough for atheists to consider. And ofcourse, it's the other way round too, atheists have never given irrefutable evidence that there is no God. It's all speculation on both sides.

However, I believe that there is intelligent life on other planets from scientific reasons and it doesn't contradict religion, since God never said he created life only on Earth. Humans are, undoubtedly, faulty but don't we go against our moral standards too...whether they are instinctual morals or religious morals?

All evil/good came from humans themselves..whether it came from their ideology, their race, their religion, their intentions etc. They CHOOSE to do evil/Good...you cannot blame God for this...and for creating faulty humans.

Also nobody, including theists and atheists, is aware of all the knowledge in the world...it's always possible that God can exist outside our scope of knowledge or even otherwise.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to read your next hub. All the best!

Voronwe profile image

Voronwe 5 years ago

So sorry...I have to correct my mistake. It was username 'Biorealistic' I should have written instead of 'Aslaught' when I referred to their statement.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi Voronwe

I agree with you that the word delusion is very carelessly used. Some even abuse the use of it. The use of the word somehow satisfies them.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

ChristFanatic profile image

ChristFanatic 5 years ago from Houston, TX

Hey brotha, thanks for sharing your story! I am looking forward to the follow up post! God is Great!!!!:)

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi ChristFanatic

I'd bet you were somehow moved by the evidences I've listed here. Well, i hope you'll read my hub in sequel to this.


Seek-n-Find profile image

Seek-n-Find 5 years ago from Illinois

I'm looking forward to your sequel, as well. I grew up having "religion" and always felt something was missing. That's because religion is created by man, not God. I had rules and fun programs and I knew the Divine existed somewhere--I'd had so many incredible "close-calls" that I was miraculously saved from--but I knew there was something not right about my belief system. I rebelled in my early 20s because I felt hopeless in the "be a good girl" conviction--I just couldn't help but to sin and I felt guilty and empty. I spent a little over year in college trying to be "free from religion" and I found that the lifestyle I was trying to live was even more empty--and came with many dangers. It was lonely and meaningless. I was depressed--religion didn't satisfy--the "world" didn't satisfy. I actually became suicidal. I cried out to God and said, "If you are real and if you care--I need to know! Show me a better way!" In that moment this feeling of extreme love and peace and like a fire and electricity filled my dorm room and filled me. I'd never felt so at peace and so loved before--ever! I knew God was right there with me and I was convinced he loved me. It was a long journey from there as I had to partner with God to come out of agreement with the many lies that I had believed. I had was also very wounded and went through counseling with a Christian counselor. But most of my healing came through the days when I would just cry and pour my heart out to God and then His presence would manifest and I would know He was talking to me--I would get my journal and write down what He said. They would be revelations of what the Bible said but they felt alive and like they touched the deepest part of my being and they were changing me. Many more details, of course, but I soon after met a very strong atheist and he wanted to date me and tried very passionately to convince me to leave my faith. This was when I researched things and had intellectual awakening. I found more evidence for the existence of God--overwhelmingly--than for the evidence against. All of the points you mentioned above, I could point you to resources that would show you how Bible and History and Science all actually converge. But it is the heart that needs to be touched in the Atheiest--not just a convincing of the mind--and this sounds like your experience. I prayed for the Atheist man that liked me for two years. He argued with me for 2 years. One day we had the most amazing God encounter and he was 100 percent convinced of the realness of God--you can't encounter the Real Living God and not be affected in some way! He repented and turned to God and then went to school for ministry to be a pastor. His intellectual search for truth did not cease--it only was magnified and as he dug for truth, he found Jesus! I wrote a Hub called "Seven Good Reasons to Believe in God" that you may find of interest on this subject. Thanks for sharing and look forward to reading more!

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Thank you Seek-n-Find for sharing your story, and I'm glad about the new faith your friend had embraced. I have a feeling that your friend and I share a common yearning and desire to share the good news to everyone. To me, experiencing the world of atheism just made me stronger in my faith to God instead of the contrary.

I'll surely read your article. Glad I met you.

thesingernurse profile image

thesingernurse 5 years ago from Rizal, Philippines

I am quite emphatic with your claims in this hub Sir. Though I am not the one involved, I can relate because my fiance is an atheist himself (though he was baptized by the Catholic Church at birth). Like you, he have so many questions. And because he is just simply brilliant and had been studying AB Philosophy (will probably graduate right after he finishes his thesis, CROSS FINGERS!), he too had several questions and downright answers. With that premise, the two of us are total opposites. I am sort of 'religious' though selective only by several means. And I am proud to say I don't crawl on my knees to reach the altar of Quiapo or Baclaran Church. I am Catholic and believe in God in a personal level. Unlike you, I do not hold answers or even theories to my questions. And I don't treat my questions as doubts. I'd rather call them fascinations. Say about the Theory of Evolution by means of Natural Selection. I recognize the adaptation thing going on though I am not quite sure how those configurations were passed on distinctively in the succeeding generations. Was the adaptation had become strong enough to become the dominant trait that's why each generation yielded the same prototype? With that I do not know. All I know is I know nothing. And that keeps my fascination in this world constant.

In addition, I would like to reiterate that I am proud of those atheist who are able to live their life without destroying and meddling with the beliefs of other people. And I think others should respect them as well. Most of them are bright and respectable individuals.

I believe that we have a creator, am just not quite sure who He is. And I don't bother being confused with so many attributions every religion gives Him. I know He is there. And I am open to feel him. Religion is just a collective set of norms. I think each day, you still live by your own principle.

And every person in his right mind SHOULD respect that. :)

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi Tina,

Wow. It must've been hard being religious and at the same time having a partner who's an atheist. However, you seem to be an open-minded person and this might be an explanation why the relationship is working.

I've known individuals who couldn't work it out because they always get into heated debates.

I'm sure your fiance will be successful in his thesis and will soon graduate.

If I may add, being previously an atheist, i totally respect them and the views they hold on to. I've learned not to argue with them because I know how an atheist thinks and reason. I may answer questions, but never will I be the root of a dispute.

Glad you took the time to read. Thanks.

Mark Knowles profile image

Mark Knowles 5 years ago

Ah - another Liar For Jesus pretending to be an atheist and then lying about the way they behaved because God wasn't going to punish them so they could pretend that all other atheists behave badly because they don't believe in Majik.

You should fit right in. Happy Winter Solstice. Then you can tell us how you now manage to ignore the evidence that we evolved and were not created lololo

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

First of all, I am not a Liar. You can call me that maybe out of your annoyance. As a believer, I would never publish anything that contradicts the moral dictates of my heart. Anything published here would be forever exposed to the public except only if you delete them.

I am somehow grateful to you taking the time reading it. I never said I do not sin, so your statement of telling me that I am lying on the way I behave because I wouldn't be punished anyway is purely judgmental. You haven't even known the person and you were that fast to judge? That just pinched my heart. I respect you being an elderly, Sir. Just want to say that.

I am a sinner. I do sin. But, there is now a difference when I was still an atheist. But, that's something you wouldn't understand, anyway.

Your comment is enough to tell you who you are.

Happy Winter Solstice? Well, at least you've got something to celebrate, right?

Well then, Happy Winter Solstice to you too.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hubpages Hubber. I hope you enjoyed reading. Thanks for stopping by.

Mark Knowles profile image

Mark Knowles 5 years ago

You are a Liar. You pretended to be an atheist so that you could lie about how that made you behave badly because your Invisible Super Being stopped watching you. Then you were so ashamed of how that made you behave you decided to ignore all the evidence that proves your religion is nonsense and lie about starting to believe again. LOL

Your Hub Proves you are a Liar For Jesus. No wonder yo0ur religion causes so many conflicts.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Liar For Jesus? Does that mean I lied just to lure atheists or to somehow ridicule them? I don't have pleasure in doing that. I believe in the sovereignty of God in salvation. What could a man like me do?

Ahaha! Well, if that's how you see me, so be it. I'm not here to please you anyway.

Seek-n-Find profile image

Seek-n-Find 5 years ago from Illinois

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God." John 3:19

"Who is the liar? It is whoever denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a person is the antichrist—denying the Father and the Son." 1 John 2:22

Darsa 5 years ago

Hello Tots,

I enjoyed reading about your journey. My journey is somewhat similar.

We are all on a journey. We all are heading in the same direction, just coming from different starting points.

What I find interesting, are those who get upset with others who are at a different location in the journey then they are at. And they assume their current location is the correct one and they lash out at others.

So don't be frustrated when you get the heated posts. Those are folks who are on the same journey as we all are on, but they may be feeling stuck and frustrated at their current location.

Why else can't they be happy for someone else and their journey? And why do they feel the need to claim you are wrong? You appear happy in your journey. I'm happy for you. Why should your happiness and peace offend others?

It shouldn't.

It's when people lash out that conflicts are created.

It's when people argue over minutia (how we were created, the time line doesn't fit, see? see? you are wrong!!) is when conflicts happen.

People who are at peace, don’t lash out.

Your story (your journey) is unique. We all have a unique journey. Keep striving for more peace in your life.

So keep writing your thoughts for us to read and ignore those who lash out. I’ll keep reading.

Mark Knowles profile image

Mark Knowles 5 years ago

This is why your religion causes so much hatred. LOL

Seek-n-Find profile image

Seek-n-Find 5 years ago from Illinois

I believe that people choose the response of hatred--it is not caused. Negative feelings can certainly be provoked when people or institutions say or act in ways that are unloving, unkind, etc. I would agree that religion in general--the multitudes of religions at war within and between people groups--can bring much divisiveness and harm and all in the name of "God" or "Truth." However I would suggest that God and Truth are not tied to Religion but are above man's attempts to understand and control. Truth brings freedom and a Good, Transcendent Being brings love and mercy. When Religion attempts to control, judge, or unjustly condemn, then I believe it has divorced God's ways altogether.

Voronwe profile image

Voronwe 5 years ago

Well said, Darsa and Seek-n-Find!

Almost every atheist I meet brings up the same argument that Religion caused so much conflict, war and misery and that we'd have peace without Religion. Nobody could deny this fact but everybody can see that though all these wars were done in the name of Religion, their actions/intentions were personal and subjective; and most definitely not endorsed by their religion.

The Crusades, Hitler and the present terrorism are some examples.

Even if the world was without religion, we would still have nationalism, greed, poverty, racism, classicide, child labor, politicide etc. We would still have conflicts and wars, but sure - we won't have the 'moral' excuse of Religion to justify our actions.

Again, our history can offer proof - all the wars that had nothing to do with religion.

All I'm saying is that everyone has suffered at the hands of whatever unfortunate happenings and that there's no room here for accusations. You cannot blame Religion or God.

There's evil in this world because we choose to do it.

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gobangla 5 years ago

There definitely are people who were never atheists who pretend to be. But that doesn't mean that everyone who was atheist and became a believer is lying. I became an atheist when I was a teenager. I was an atheist for a few years. Then I went back to being Christian for about 5 years before becoming atheist again.

For me my head was saying there is no god but in my heart I wanted to believe. People often have emotional reasons for wanting to believe that trump what reason tells them. This is why atheists need to do more to provide supportive communities for each other, so people don't have to buy into supernatural beliefs to find the kinds of emotional support they need.

"There's evil in this world because we choose to do it."

This is nonsensical and a typical attempt to try to let God off the hook. If God created everything, he also created evil. So if God exists, then evil exists because God chose to create it that way. Does a lion choose to survive by ripping zebras apart? No it has to. Yes, that's evil. And if God created this world then he created the evil in it. You can't believe that God created everything and then let him off the hook for evil.

Darsa 5 years ago

I also find it interesting that some atheists who comment at these sites, seem to believe that all Christians are creationists.

I was raised Catholic, and was taught that the Adam and Eve story was a simplified story of evolution. Nothing more. That eating from the tree of knowledge was simply when we evolved to a point when we could question our existence.

I was also taught that Jesus's appearance on the scene, made the old testament "interesting, but no longer required." We can now go directly to God and He will speak directly to our hearts and minds.

I do realize that there are some Christian groups that adhere to a strict literal interpretation of the bible, but I think that is the smaller group.

Darsa 5 years ago

Gobangla, I agree with you that in some form or fashion God is responsible for allowing evil to exist, whether he created it directly or simply allows it or that the absence of light is darkness. Or whatever words one chooses to describe it.

It is a very weighty topic, that is really fun to discuss and think about if kept in a friendly venue.

I know some hold that "freewill" is a paradox and perhaps it is. But the philosophy that I've heard that makes some sense is that in order for freewill to work, there has to be the opposite of God Love/light/energy (again, whatever word works). Let's call the absence of God (dark) and the presence of God (light).

If there was no dark, then everyone would be in the light. If everyone is in the light, then they have no choice, but to be in the light. No choice, no freewill.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi Seek-n-Find

This is my first time to be called a liar, and I certainly don't do that. Apparently, I do not qualify in "1 John 2:22's" evaluation of who's a liar.

I could not agree more in your statement "Truth brings freedom and a Good, Transcendent Being brings love and mercy. When Religion attempts to control, judge, or unjustly condemn, then I believe it has divorced God's ways altogether."

It's good to have you here. I really appreciate it.

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rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi Darsa,

I prefer Rafael than Tots here in HubPages. Maybe, I'll go and say that in my profile. =)

Thank you for the encouragement. Don't worry, I don't easily get frustrated that quick. My story is indeed unique. Hope you'll stand by.

I'm starting to feel that we have the same views on things about God. I know that God somehow allowed evil in some form or fashion, but no He didn't create it. It's the donut hole in a donut. And Yes, freewill is somehow a paradox as well.

It should also be easily distinguished which part of the bible should be taken literally from which are not.

Thank you for such good insights.

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rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author


I couldn't agree more. Violence committed in the name of religion were all personal and subjective. They were certainly not endorsed by religion.

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rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi gobangla,

Your example of lions ripping zebras is quite an interesting one. I, however will not change my view that God did not create evil but somehow allowed it to happen for the glory of the good. Somehow, I believe that God has given animals innate instincts different from humans', that is we have the unique capability of discerning what is morally right from wrong.

However, I'm still contemplating on that example you've given. Hmm... Interesting.

Darsa 5 years ago

I've been pondering:

"Does a lion choose to survive by ripping zebras apart?"

I don't know if what I've come up with makes any sense, so I thought I'd throw it out there and see what folks think.

I think a lion does not choose to survive. It just survives. There is no evil involved. The lion does not give any thought about the right or wrong of it. So to is it with the zebra. The zebra doesn't choose to die or live, it just runs away.

And I think that man was this way back along the evolutionary chain. Then one day, through whatever means, man's brains began to process data in a new way and they became self-aware. Once self aware, they were able to create a word and a definition for that word: Evil. Something that was not evil to them before, (fighting over food or a mate, resulting in death) now is suddenly evil because now they have the capability of thought and reason. Once the word "evil" was created, the word "shame" probably came soon after.

Adam and Eve hid from God because they were naked and were ashamed.

This Adam and Eve line kind of sums up this process.

I don't think there was a tree of knowledge that God forbid people to its fruit. That is just a simplification of the story above. Once man evolved to the point of reason and thought (Knowledge) man's brain also reasoned the notions of good and evil. So evil is a manifestation of our thought process and simply our ability to do so.

This seems to be apparent in the zebra herd when one of their comrades falls to the lions. The remaining zebra's do not mourn, instead they go back to grazing, Just yards away, knowing that the lions are too busy feeding to chase them.

I think when man first mourned, is probably when knowledge was born and good and evil.

Out of curiosity, I just looked up when the first "burial" took place:

"100,000 years ago – The oldest known ritual burial of modern humans at Qafzeh in Israel"

Taken from:


Voronwe profile image

Voronwe 5 years ago

Very interesting insights here.

Continuing with the discussion on whether God created evil or not…

When I was a kid, it came to my understanding after reading a book, that Ruin and Preservation cannot really exist without each other. I was reminded of this right now when I read Darsa’s analogy of ‘dark’ and ‘light’ with God’s absence and presence.

Now there’s Good and Evil...Applying it to mankind, Humans are extremely capable of both, they can also differentiate between what’s good and evil, depending upon their moral constructs. If a man can be accountable for his good actions, he should be too for his sins. Blaming God for constructing man to do evil is illogical, because God created a system of decision-making, initiated the whole thing but doesn’t take part in the decisions itself. It's like saying that humans are better off without the freedom of choice and with only the ability to do good.

It makes some sense if one says "God is responsible if a man starves to death."

It makes perfect sense if one says "Man is responsible if a man is allowed to starve to death."

A man starving to death may not be seen as evil (as even animals do) but the second case definitely is and cannot be applied to animals, at least not entirely.

Some of our economic constructs require poverty. And some people may think that the rich shouldn't be given the responsibility of taking care of the poverty. Even if God made sure of no poverty, we'd still cause it to occur somewhere...which is also why we haven't perfected equality and coexistence (with humans and Nature) even after many years of civilization. If our future generations suffer from depleted resources and environment destabilization and whatever unfortunate consequences (war and exploitation); they'll blame us, not God.

Let's assume that God must intervene to prevent all evil. Some implications:

1) Lack of free will (even if it's partial) - as Darsa pointed out.

2) Cancels the very purpose of why we were created...Abrahamic faiths all say God sent us to Earth, made us responsible for everything we do (good/evil) and then will judge us accordingly.

3) What circumstances will guarantee God's intervention? What kind of evil?

There must be more...it's an endless topic and my argument (i.e. God shouldn't be held responsible for all the evil) may be incomplete without factoring religion, natural evil, Natural selection etc.

To Darsa, your view on the origin of evil was interesting.

Darsa 5 years ago

Vornwe, Yes, I am totally convinced there is a lot more. And these discussions are endless... but a lot of fun. (mind candy)

If it is true that man evolved from having animal thought processes to suddenly having self awareness, reason, understanding of evil and feel shame... I wonder if there is another brain evolution in man's future? And if so, what might that be?

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

morals is only a fruit of evolution? oh i'd love to hear how that came to be.

Darsa 5 years ago


I don't know any answers. I just offer what I think are interesting thoughts. Perhaps they are not that interesting. I think of it more as mind candy. And candy is not nourishment, it's just fun. So please keep that in mind as I offer my thought.

If the definition of morals is: "Distinguishing between right and wrong".

Then the genesis story I postulated above offers how evolution could fit into the Adam and Eve story. (or vice versa)

If man was once like the animals where there was no right or wrong. Then when man's brain evolved to became self aware, then reasoning followed and the idea that a right and wrong existed. Man's brain evolved to a point where man could distinguish between right and wrong.

So if all of the above makes sense, then it is reasonable to say that the ability to distinguish between right and wrong is a direct result of mans brain evolving to be smart enough to do so.

I believe Right and Wrong have always existed in the ether of the universe (GOD). But no creature can grasp the concept until their brains evolve to that ability.

I'm not saying evolution created morals. I'm saying evolution created man's ability to grasp the concept of morals.

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AudreyHowitt 5 years ago from California

Interesting hub! I tend to separate the spiritual from religion--sad isn't it?

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi Audrey,

Yes, it is sometimes true, and is surely sad to think of. Thanks for stopping by.

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CloudExplorer 5 years ago from New York City

I also found a great deal of the same findings you have @ rLcasaLme, but the only difference is, I don't choose to follow religious text, order or denomination.

I believe in a creator for sure, but I choose not to be controlled by any one group or person as to what my specified forms of worship shall be.

I have established a very close personal relationship with the creator in ways that are 100% unseen, and only exist in the astral dimension of things or also known as in the spiritual realm.

Awesome hub here, voted up on all levels.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author


Interesting. I wonder what convinced you to have a creator without basing it from religious texts. I always see people here in HubPages having the same conviction without having a religious foundation.

I have yet to read more hubs about things like this.

Thanks for voting up.

daleamy profile image

daleamy 5 years ago from Spring Hill, TN

Wow! Interesting comments. rLcasaLme, I think this was already covered by someone else, but it looks like you were given "religion" in your growing up years without a true relationship with Christ. I can't imagine the weight and pressure of trying to understand, and live up to, religious expectations without the hope of Christ. So glad He didn't give up searching for you, and that He is big enough for your toughest questions.

Liar for Jesus? Since when does someone become a liar simply because they believe something different than you do? Wow--such hatred and venomous attacks from those who disagree. If you really don't believe rLcasaLme's faith is in a real God, why does it bother you so much for him to voice his "delusions"? I don't feel threatened and angry when you voice yours.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author


You were right. I didn't have Christ in me on my growing up years. Perhaps God made it that way. Perhaps He made it on purpose. I'm still working on my testimony. I hope you'll hang around.

Thank you for the supportive comment. I really appreciated it.

Raymond Tremain profile image

Raymond Tremain 5 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

When God made this earth you will read that it took 6 days well one day to God is like one thousand years to us.

also God does hear all prayers in Revelations chap.5 v 8.When it did this,the four beings and the 24 elders fell down in front of the Lamb they had harps and golden bowls full of incense(these being the prayers of the holy people). the holy people being the christians on earth.

Edwinoel Tanglao profile image

Edwinoel Tanglao 5 years ago from Los Angeles, California

I was a doubter before, even when I was already in the faith, just like you and the rest of mankind who have not fully felt his presence. But only what I fully surrendered my 'self' to him, that accepted of serving no other Master except him, that I have seen his light. And as in James 1:6, "But let him ask in faith, nothing doubting: for he that doubteth is like the surge of the sea driving by the wind and tossed." And that more I believed in him, the more he has made me feel secure and comfortable in his presence, and the more I felt the need to thank him and give him praise for all his blessings in this life, together with my family, praying that others too, who may still hunger and seek the power of his light, be led to the truth, for he is more powerful than any religion, indeed, he is, God himself who created us all.

Edwinoel Tanglao profile image

Edwinoel Tanglao 5 years ago from Los Angeles, California

Sorry, correction: "when" I fully surrendered...; and ... "driven" by the wind and tossed.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

That's great to hear Edwinoel. I'm glad you've made your choice to surrender yourself to Him because only in this way you'll understand who He really is.

I'm sure God will bless you and your family!

Edwinoel Tanglao profile image

Edwinoel Tanglao 5 years ago from Los Angeles, California

We keep on growing and learning as time pass. The best part for me is one's spiritual growth. May God bless and guide you further to his light, rLcasaLme, with your family. In my experience, though, the more I get closer to God, the stronger temptation comes, holding on has always been part of my life, and trusting in him.

noturningback profile image

noturningback 5 years ago from Edgewater, MD. USA

Although I did not comment on his hub maybe I will now. It seems we all need to work out for ourselves what we believe to be reality, but not force ours upon others. Check out this hub.


Thanks for the hub.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author


Oh yes, I've seen that hub. I find it not offensive and respect the author for not being so rude with theists, especially Christians. At least in that particular hub.

I do agree with you that we need not force others to believing what we believe but I can't blame if some atheists would.

Thanks for stopping by.

aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 5 years ago from Malaga, Spain

Darsa, can I suggest that rather than evolution making the change from animal to human, it was God who introduced a 'spirit' into mankind, and that previously there may have been humanoids, human forms but without a spirit and therefore instinctive rather than spiritual.

My take on things.


Darsa 5 years ago

Aguasilver, It's kind of a chicken and the egg thing of which came first?

Evolution changed man and when we became intelligent, we were finally able to embrace the spirit within us and have a relationship with God.


We evolved to a point where God determined we were ready and gave us a spirit.


All life forms have a spirit, but are not intelligent enough to have a conversation with others of their kind to compare notes and they operate off of instincts.

or... The list goes on and on...

There are so many possibilities. Fun to think about, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how we got here, or in what order. What matters is what we do today.


Lone Ranger 5 years ago

Aguasilver said:

"can I suggest that rather than evolution making the change from animal to human, it was God who introduced a 'spirit' into mankind, and that previously there may have been humanoids, human forms but without a spirit and therefore instinctive rather than spiritual."


I think it is rather clear that man was a special creation and set apart from the very beginning. The fossil record cannot support humans evolving nor does it show any animal in the midst of change. Macro evolution is entirely speculation and, in my mind, little more than philosophy and science mixing together to create science-fiction.

Best wishes and be well - L.R.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi L.R.,

I see that we all do differ in our views about this matter. I definitely also have my own but it's really good seeing that we are not alienating our fellow Christians in Christ.

Thanks for adding good insight.

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VendettaVixen 5 years ago from Ireland

Very, very excellent hub. I'm an athiest myself, but I do enjoy reading about other's religious beliefs and opinions.

I have my own reasons for not believing, but live and let live.

Thank you for the account of your journey so far in life. Off to read some more of your hubs.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi VendettaVixen,

Indeed. Live and Let Live!

Thanks for reading the account of my journey. I'd be very interested in knowing your own reasons for not believing.

Stay tuned. Cheers!

georgethegent profile image

georgethegent 5 years ago from Hillswick, Shetland, UK

Good hub!!! I'm a non-believer but that doesn't stop the hub being interesting - voted up!!!

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rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Thanks for reading and for voting it up georgethegent.

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Sooner28 5 years ago

Thanks for sharing your story. I myself have a similar story I have considered writing about. It's quite painful to give it up, considering how much is invested emotionally, but I have come around to see most of the Bible as nonsensical ancient myths. Voted up!

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rLcasaLme 5 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Thank you Sooner28 for taking the time to read. I'm pleased to have you here.

Lenzy profile image

Lenzy 4 years ago from Arlington, Texas

Wow! I had no idea that I would be seeing such controversy when I decided to take a look at your hub. I am a Christian, so am delighted that you have come to have a personal relationship with Christ. It is something that can only be seen and understood as the Holy Spirit reaches into your heart and opens your eyes to God's reality. You know this already, having gone through that period in your life when God was something you did because it was expected. May God bless your life richly as well as your family. Lenzy

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rLcasaLme 4 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Thank you, Lenzy. I'm delighted to see you here. Thank you for dropping such a wonderful comment. =)

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mours sshields 4 years ago from Elwood, Indiana

Praise the Lord! Thank-you for your great testimoney!

I was pleasantly surprised how this hub turned-out!

Marcia Ours

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rLcasaLme 4 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Thank you Marcia for taking the time to read and dropping a comment.

God Bless!

peeples profile image

peeples 4 years ago from South Carolina

I'm glad you found something that made you happy. I tried for many years to come to the point you did in your life. I was miserable trying to find God. For me one of the best feelings in my whole life was when I stopped trying to have faith in god. I ended up on the opposite side of you. Enjoyed the hub!

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 4 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi peeples! =)

Actually, at first I wasn't happy. I'm going to be in bondage, you know. I will lose my freedom. And I didn't want to lose it. It's just that God wouldn't allow to set me free. It's an irresistible grace which I tried resisting.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

rLcasaLme.......Well, OK...make up your mind? Should I expect there is another hub about you once again embracing atheism?? Not that it matters to any degree......certainly not to me. I accept the beliefs and/or lifestyles of everyone. We are free to think, do and say in our own personal and independent manner.......I enjoyed reading this...

I hope you are truly happy and at peace.

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 4 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Hi fpherj48,

Thank you for taking the time to read. And yes, I'm truly happy and certainly at peace.

Jerry Hulse profile image

Jerry Hulse 4 years ago from Kingsport, Tennessee

ck out this book by Lee Strobel who was a Yale law graduate and journalism who went on a search to unmask Christ and find the real truth and ended up becoming a believer. It is called "The Case for Christ".

rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 4 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates Author

Thanks, Jerry. I've heard of the book but never had the chance of grabbing one. I'll definitely get one.

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