What does Islam the quran and Allah say about family and children?

What does Islam say about family?

Part eight in the what you don't but should know about Islam series.

Simply put families are the building blocks of society. The parents of today raise the parents of tomorrow. So the values we instill in our children are the values they will carry on to their children. Being a positive role model for your child is essential. Parenthood is also about friendship. You children should feel comfortable coming to you with any problem they may have. Working with youth one of the things I hear most is, "My parents don't understand me." As children, and young adults, we often do not realize that our parents are just as new to this as we are. Parents like children make mistakes, and to have successful relationships I think it is important for children and parents alike to admit this. The child should always obey the parents, but parents should be open and honest. All to often parents let the world teach their child, when they should be teaching the world to the child. We find many children who are left to be raised by their peers, or what ever adult is around them at that time. Family doesn't have to be blood relations. If we know some one like this, imagine the rewards in reaching out to them and offering a positive influence in their life, even if it is only a few hours a week. This could mean the difference between a murder, or rapist and a successful productive person in society. You don't have to give birth to a child to raise that child. Also adults often underestimate the abilities of young people. When we teach children to make good choices at a young age, we teach them to make good choices in young adulthood. Letting a child think for them selves is an amazing thing, when they are instilled with the knowledge and word of God. Parents remember that one day your children will be taking care of you. Teach them the best you can. The Qur'an says:

"And the Lord commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Ugh" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." Qur'an 17:23-24

and here:

"And give to kindred their due." Isra: 26

and again:

"Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, and kins-folk" Nisa:36

Teaching our children how to live right and love God, and their fellow people, will help ensure a successful society for all. The mother is probably the single most important parent. As children cling to the mother as children for many reasons, and as adults for support and advice. The Prophet(pbuh) said, "teach something to a woman, and it is as if you have taught the whole world." Without our mothers life is very difficult as the mothers role in early life is very important. She nurtures us, and weans us from sole dependence on other people. This job would be difficult for the man more so than the woman God tell us this in the Qur'an:

" With trouble did his mother bare him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the weaning of him was thirty months..." Qur'an 46:15

Husbands do not forget this. A companion once asked the Prophet(pbuh), "Who deserves my good treatment most?" The Prophet answered, "The mother." " Who is after that?" he asked again. " Your mother." was again the answer. "And then who is next?" he asked yet again. "Your mother." Once again was the reply. "What is after that?" he asked again. "Your father." The Prophet(pbuh) then said.

The love of your mother is unconditional. Show her your love and respect. Mothers also remember your importance, because you have this much power over your children. Children you are to obey your mother and father at all times, unless they ask you to work against the teachings and laws of God. This is very important in Islam the Qur'an tells us:

"...and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did." Qur'an 29:8

Islam tells parents to show mercy and love to children. It places the responsibility of education on the parents. Islam tells us to raise our children with good, strong morals, and to be productive in society. The Prophet(pbuh) said a proper education is the best gift a father can give his children. Also the Prophet(pbuh) tells us the great rewards to fathers for raising there daughters, properly. That God will reward us greatly for raising our daughters correctly and treating them well, and loving them as us fathers love our sons. God also tell us to raise our children with moderation, and not to spoil them, teaching them they are better than others. The Qur'an says this:

"O you who believe! Let not your wealth, or your children, divert you from the remembrance of Allah; and who ever does that, they are the losers." Qur'an 63:9

The blessing of marriage, is the single most sacred contract between two people. Husbands treat your wife's well. This woman loves you, and she is sacred to you. Do not let your mind and eyes, stray to other women who are strangers to you. Does your wife not love you so much? Is she not the one who, strives every day to love you so? Is she not the woman who birthed, and raised your children? Love this woman, and treat her well. She has given much to satisfy you in many, many ways. Do the same for her, and more. This woman is a gift to you from God. Provide for her and love her always and treat her fairly. Provide for her, and let her keep her income for herself, that she may be happy and have the things she wants, this is a command from God. She is not your slave but your wife, give your heart to her. Let her know you are thankful for her sacrifices. Let her know you are grateful for her. God tell us in the Qur'an:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." Qur'an 30:21

About marriage the Qur'an also says this:

"They are your garments, and you are their garment." Qur'an 2:187

WoW! What a powerful statement about a husband and wife. Think of what that means. What do garments offer us? Warmth, comfort, protection, modesty, just to name a few. Really. Stop reading right now and take five minutes to think about what that is really saying. Expand on the little insight I just gave. Okay, so what do you think of that statement now? The Prophet(pbuh) says, "marriage is half of your religion." WoW! What another powerful statement. I could write for years and never begin to cover a fraction of what these two statements mean. Love your wife men, is all I can say on that.

On this note, Islam allows men to have more than one wife, but this is limited by God. God allows us to do this in only certain situations, such as; an area where there are significantly more women than men, or a war torn country where most of the men eligible for marriage have been killed, or maimed to the point they can not be husbands or fathers. God tells us to take no more that 4 wives. Yet God warns us not to take more wives than we can justly handle and treat fairly and provide for comfortable. I don't know about you but one is more than enough for me, all jokes aside God tells us this:

"...marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." Qur'an 4:3

There are many examples of this throughout the Qur'an. This subject can be talked about for hours and days on end. Please, treat all your family well, to include extended family. And remember how important your role is to your children, and your parents. God tell us to open our hearts and love one another. Remember how much the Prophet(pbuh) loved and trusted his wives. Let him be our role model, so we can be good role models for our children, that they may carry on this tradition and make their society and our world a better place for everyone. It has to start somewhere, so its up to us as Muslims to take the first step and guide the world to a better, peaceful place.

There maybe a part II to this in the future as it is such a huge topic, but for now I think I have given the essentials of this topic.

This "hub" is dedicated to my butterfly. The love she has for her family and the sacrifices she makes for them has been my inspiration for this topic. Thank you so much, my friend. I wish all the best in the world for you. I hope one day you too have a husband who will do these things for you, in shaa Allah. May Gods peace and mercy follow you always, my his blessings fall on you and your family now, and the family you have in the future.

Also I want to thank http://www.islamtomorrow.com for some of the information I have gathered. You will find many great sources on this website, in shaa Allah.

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Comments 35 comments

Hend 7 years ago

Excellent piece of work Randall, Looking forward to the 2nd part :)You can also use some of the stories not just qoutes from the holy Quran and Hadith, I dunt have ones in mind now but I can be working qith you on this .... :) Excellent job my friend . God bless you

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pintails7886 7 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Thankyou Hend. I am glad you like it. And it would be great to add more to such a huge topic, in shaa Allah we can work together on this in the near future.

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Ouch! the comment above really bad way to doing debate with other. Sorry, Brother, you have to got this harsh comment. Well, this person definitely know only one word. poor guy. Lack of education, I guess. ^_^

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Good. You erased it. But now my comment become weird. Hahaha....

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pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

well I guess i can delete it also.

Adduonline 6 years ago

The issue of woman in Islam was clear and never debated among Muslims. Allah (swt) created men and women and legislated general responsibilities for both, such as carrying the Daw'ah and holding the rulers accountable, in addition to designating specific responsibilities for each gender. Muslims acknowledged that sovereignty belongs to Allah, and the rules related to both men and women are Islamic rules deduced through ijtihad based upon the daleel.

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pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Yes Adduonline that is true. However this is more for the education of those who's only exposure to Islam is the western media's twisted view supported and provoked by the western governments, when in fact this view only represents 3.4% of the 2.5 billion Muslims.

kingslaveofallah2 profile image

kingslaveofallah2 6 years ago from new delhi

Imram 6 years ago

Assalam walekum

may Allah grant you jannah, & give u reward here in this world & hereafter, for sharing knowledge.

Insha Allah.

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Thank you Imram, your words are very kind. May Allah grant you the same, inshaa Allah.

bushraismail profile image

bushraismail 6 years ago from ASIA


a very big welcome to islam.

may Allah shower his peace and blessings on u n me n all

gulnazahmad profile image

gulnazahmad 6 years ago from Pakistan

Great hub, we all know Islam is the best religion in the world and its teachings are for eternity. You have the art of compiling and quoting from Quran and Hadith in such a manner that one cannot ignore reading a single word from it. enjoyed reading it


pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Asalam Alykum Gulnazahmad. I don't know what to say to your kind words. I am blushing from reading this comment. Thank you very much. Feel free to contact me anytime, salam my friend. :)

muslima61 profile image

muslima61 6 years ago from manchester UK

Woman was made from the rib of man,

She was not created from his head to top him.

Nor from his feet to be stepped upon.

She was made from his side to be close to him,

From beneath his arm to be protected by him.

Near to his heart to be loved by him.

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Great point Muslima. Thank you for the comment.

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author


I just reread your comment for the first time in a while, and the first time I read it, did not strike my heart like it did this time. How beautiful that is, and how true it is. I really love that comment.

Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 6 years ago from West By God

Wow, Thanks for sharing this with my. It is beautiful. I shows respect for everyone.

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

I am glad you like this article. This article has actually been published in a Islamic Magazine, the editor found it here on hubpages and asked if they could publish it, and have since asked me for other topics. I hope all of us here find opportunities like that.

Wouldn't it be cool to have a hubpages magazine, that they put out a couple times a year with a few of the best written pieces in each category or something?

shabbirkhi profile image

shabbirkhi 6 years ago from Karachi

if anybody wish to know Islams teaching or any teaching in real means than he should first belive that he knows nothing and he is thirsty and wish to know this is the first thing without this nobody cant get God teaching unless you have some unreal you cant get real and both are not same cant live together may Allah give you the source and ability for teachings if you have is nothing for real teaching of God

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Thank you for your comment brother. I only wish I could teach Gods Truth in a way that more people would thirst for more.

Neverletitgo profile image

Neverletitgo 6 years ago from Minneapolis, MN

Maashallah it is great hub.

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Thank you Never for the comment, I am glad you enjoyed reading it. It always makes me happy to know that others enjoy my work, and gift from God. Though it is more of a gift to have people enjoy my work.

Nisa' 6 years ago

I just lurked around someone's blog and found your hub. I thought you have some good articles. Good job, brother.

Insha'Allah I will visit here again (:

call of duty pro 6 years ago


pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 6 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Hey Call Of Duty. Thanks for the comment. The part about the husband and wife is my favorite too. When you really think about it, it is very deep and profound. And it says so much more than just the few words it is written in. The metaphor chosen was probably the best way I could ever think to describe marriage.

Quran teacher 5 years ago

This is indeed best article regarding women and it all encourage us to be feel proud to be a women.

Islam  5 years ago

Lovely Articles Jazak Allah Khairan.

Quran 5 years ago

Islam have given the rights to every member of the family. parents, they do have their own respect, and rights. the children have their own rights. through this we can see that Islam is a perfect religion for every nations, and every time. being a Muslim we must have to follow, Islam, Quran and what does it says.

Quran 5 years ago

it is very useful post indeed mashaAllah. no doubt islam and quran are the true sources of knowledge. whole mankind must take the benefit from the teachings of islam.

saffim 5 years ago from Nigeria

I must say that this is the most beautiful hub i've ever come about since joining hubpages. It is simply beautiful, awesome and amazing. I love it. May the Lord bless you for writing it.

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 5 years ago from Memphis TN Author

Thank you for your kind words Saffim. I just hope to get as much out about Islam as I can. I have had at least one magazine ask to republish this article. anyone can feel free to use it if you let me know or give me credit I don't want anything in return for it.

umme 4 years ago

Nice n good effort

Husband 4 years ago

My mum mistreat my wife and hurts her feeling.. We live seperatly because of this and my mum still wont change towards her, My wife does not want to go there anymore as my mother insults her ignors her or wont even open the door to her, but my wife dies not stop me from going to my mothers, my wife has done all she can to maintain a relationship with my mother but my mother refuses to co operate with her, is it wrong for my wife to stop going to my mums house as this treatment from my mother causes arguments between me and my wife? Please help

pintails7886 profile image

pintails7886 4 years ago from Memphis TN Author

I started to write a reply, then I realized that I don't think I can help you without some more information. I do not want to say something that makes you mad just yet, I first need you to know that I really want to help you and it is not my intentions to make you mad, disrespect, or otherwise cause you more pain than you must already have on this topic. So this being said, do me a favor please so that I may be able to better help you. I want you to send me an email to my private E-mail that I may better be able to help you. Just tell me in the subject line that you contacted me here. and in the email, please tell me where you are from, and as much detail as you feel comfortable telling me, about your wife and mother and your family as a whole, how important it is to you that they get along this sort of thing. Inshaa Allah, with a bit more knowledge and I can ask you any questions I need cleared I can help you. I really would like to see your marriage and family be in a good comfortable place for happiness. Remember, you dont just have them in this life but in Jannah also, so it is best if you get along. So my email is pintails7886@gmail.com Please email me there so we can talk in private without exposing this to the world, as I do not think this is the best way to handle it. I look forward to hearing from you soon and in the mean time I will make dua for you inshaa Allah. I wish you the best and all happiness.

sim 12 months ago

Realy and truely beautiful. I hope & wish all Muslim Husbands understand this.aameen

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