Who do you want to be?
Do you ever wonder if you are an Aaron?
You know the Bible story. The one about Moses.
God called Moses.
Moses declared himself unfit.
God declared him able by the fact that He Himself would be with him. -- A compelling argument you would think.
Moses, still not convinced.
God gives miraculous signs.
Moses in desperation cries out:
Exodus 3: 10 “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
14 Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him.
God spoke to Aaron (Exodus 4:27) and told him to meet Moses. When they met, Moses told Aaron "all the words of the Lord" (Exodus 4:28)
I wonder, how did Aaron feel? He obviously was bold enough to not be afraid of the task. He was also more eloquent than Moses. But God didn't give him the message. God didn't put him in charge of the mission.
What thoughts did he have? Did he struggle with the position of helper? Did he wonder why God chose Moses when Moses didn't even seem to want the task?
Aaron was listening to God when God called him and he obeyed when God told him to meet Moses and there is no record of any insecurities about walking into Pharoah's presence with a message.
So, did he wonder, in his heart of hearts, was there any sneaky, sly, slithering, lurking question of, "Why him? Why not me?"
I speculate that Aaron did battle this thought. Most of the time he fulfilled his task and purpose, but there are two miserable examples of moments when he lost the battle.
Once, at the foot of Mt. Sinai.
Soon after their departure from Egypt, Moses was on the mountain meeting with God. He had been gone so long the people feared that he was gone for good, leaving them leaderless and lost in the desert. They began begging for gods; gods to worship and gods to lead them.
What did Aaron do? Did he use his power of speech to remind the people of how God had rescued them again and again? Did he remind them of Moses and calm their fears? Did he call on God for help and guidance and remain submissive to Moses' leadership even in his absence?
No. Actually, he fashioned an idol out of gold for the people and did not restrain them in their worship of it.
Whenever, I read this I am baffled. I do not get it. I wonder, I speculate, that perhaps this was a grab at power. A chance to appease the people, endear himself to them and step into the limelight of leadership.
What a disaster.
Another record of his dissatisfaction appears in Numbers 12:1-2
Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses...'Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us also?' And the Lord heard it.
Yes, I believe that in his heart he sometimes wished to be the leader. He felt that he had what it took to be the leader - the one in charge - the one to call the shots. But the Lord heard and He was not pleased. Miriam became covered with leprosy and Aaron cried out in submission to Moses and Moses cried out to God on her behalf.
God gives us our tasks and He gives us our roles and we can't all be the leader, the boss, the president of the company or the spokesperson of the committee.
Didn't Christ show us the way? Didn't He come to earth in the most humble circumstances?
An unwed mother, a stable, a refugee, a three-year ministry with a band of uneducated, rough around the edges followers. No glory. No riches. No home.
He could have glorified Himself. He could have made Himself appealing. Instead He was always humble. Always slipping away from people (John 6:15). Always going lower and lower until "He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross." Phil. 2:8
Why do I get caught up in ranking myself against others? Why do I always think I would rather be a Moses - the leader- handpicked by God for something great?
I know that I don't wish to be an Aaron. He's just the helper - the second. Who wants to be second?
But, if this is my thinking then I have completely missed the point haven't I?
The fact is: I am not called to be like Moses, David, Daniel, Paul or any of the other heros of the Bible. I am not even called to be an Aaron - a helper to the leader - a helper to the one getting all the attention.
As a child of God, I am called to be LIKE Christ.
Christ - - the humble one. The servant. The one who always did the bidding of His Father.
Christ -- the one who made no show, had no riches, who always sought out the least and the lowliest, who ate with sinners, who let sinful men take His life so that He could save us all from our sins.
I am called to be like Christ, the One who shows me how mixed up and sinful I really am and He loves me anyway.
I am called to be like Christ, the One who says:
"Come to Me all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you wil find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28 - 30.
I can lay down my burden of pride and striving and wishing and wanting. I can take up the invitation to "come", to follow the One who is gentle and lowly in heart. The One who gives rest to my weary and frazzled soul. He will lead me where He wills. Into leadership - or not. Into something grand and noticeable, or something completely behind the scenes. The point is not the WHAT of what I am doing, the point is WHO am I obeying? WHO am I imitating? If the answer is not Christ, then I am in the wrong place doing the wrong activity.