Why do bad things happen to really good people? God?
This Rainy August Day
As I sit here on this rainy day off in the quiet of my beautiful home I ponder life and why God does what he does. I have thoughts of my God who gives and takes away. Who has control over all the Earth and yet allows cancer in good people. Takes those needed most in this world to be with Him. I wonder if God already has His mind made up, how can prayer change anything? If I ask God to save a family member from cancer but he has already decided that he is taking his daughter back to Heaven with him, should we even bother asking for a miracle? I think the answer is yes.
What I have learned is that our faith gives us the ability to heal. Jesus taught us that all he did we could do too and more. If this is true, when will God shows this to me? Is this the chance I get to show his love and glory. Do I get to pray over her until the cancer is gone and the doctors are in shock and we give praise to our Lord? Our living God, who lives right in each one of us who believes?
I would love the gifts of the Holy Spirit and I have gotten a glimpse of them in the last year. I have so much to learn and experience. So much confidence to still gain. I need so much more boldness to do the things God has for me. I feel like a freshman just starting out in the school of the bible, spirituality and eternal life.
Being raised in the Catholic church and in a catholic family has been a blessing but it has also left me in the dark about all the true teachings of Jesus Christ and of the bible. The Catholic church to me has become an institution of rules and shame. You must do this, believe this or you perish. They don't honor women as leaders in the church which goes against the ministry of Jesus. He honored a woman enough to appear first to a women after his resurrection and then put her in charge of telling the others. He welcomed and stood up for women when they were told they were not worthy to study at his feet. Who gave the biggest church in the world permission to leave woman out of the ministry of God? Catholics may argue that woman are in the church and do a lot and I agree but woman cannot be leaders, or priests in the church still over 2,000 years later. What man has the authority to leave out women when the bible clearly states they are worthy by way of Jesus Christ in the new testament?
I have left the Catholic church as an adult in search of a more fulfilling spiritual experience. I love music and dance and worship. I found a church that started as the four square gospel church in Salem and really got to know what it was like to be like Jesus. I met a pastor who embodied all that Jesus taught and showed Christ's love to the community in a way that no Catholic priest ever did in all my life of growing up in the church. He talked to the scary people, the goths, the witches and the outcasts. He was friends with those that Jesus would have been friends with. He changed the way I looked at a pastor and his role in society. He was funny, goofy and thought outside the box. He made going to church, fun. Most importantly of all he did not care what others thought, he was just being who God made him to be. His church dropped him for his radical behavior. Befriending witches was not allowed and the president of the Four Square Gospel church excommunicated him and his small church. He got no more money and had to raise it all on his own as a small church body in a new age community like Salem. Times were tough for the next few years.
Every year at Halloween this church "The Gathering" puts up a stage and gives out free Hot chocolate to the thousands of visitors that come to the city. They hosted ministry school students and gave free "spiritual readings" and dream interpretations one year back in my late 20's. The other vendors were not happy with all the free stuff they were offering every year because it was hurting their business. The many psychics of Salem were also not happy. People were getting much better readings and they were free. These reading were straight from God. I met Phil and the Gathering because of one of these readings. I also found out about this supernatural school of ministry through Phil and his church. So you could say that Phil has changed my life. He has brought me closer to my walk with God and brought me closer to a spiritual awakening.
Now, the Gathering in Salem has closed. They have no money left to pay rent to be in the heart of Salem at what we called the Vault. They aren't leaving Salem but they don't have a home right now. They have had service at the Salem willows for a few Sundays and no one knows where they will meet next. They are asking for money and prayers. I live far from Salem now and can't help them out but they are always in my thoughts and prayers. I love what Phil has done for Salem and I thank him and his church family for moving from sunny California to be with us on the East coast years ago. I hope they stick around and I hope they prosper in thier mission. I know Phil will not give up. He has had many hardships but he stays strong in his faith. I admire him and love him. I hope he knows that he is my small town hero with a big town heart.