I have often asked the same question, it’s funny I just put a post on Facebook about such things. I am a Christian, however I do not choose to condemn those who do not believe as I do. It is a choice and a rightful one for all of us. Believe me I have questioned many who claim to be Christians and are (intolerant, cruel, judgmental and just plain arrogant.)
I was thinking this evening that sometimes we pick and choose what parts of the Bible, of Jesus's teachings we follow. For example we may say a prayer before each meal, go to church every Sunday etc., etc. But as we are criticizing someone or judging someone do we stop and think "I should be thankful this person is in my life or maybe this person is different than I am? It’s not all about how we “are religious" it’s about how we are, what is inside of our hearts, what God see's. No one is perfect yet often we believe we are "better" because we practice parts of religion, when we should be practicing becoming the best person we can with Love and Humility in our hearts because to me Loving God is this, not how often we attend church, not just the parts, it’s the whole, everything we are and all that we strive to be with thoughts of Love and Kindness in our hearts and Humility when we fail to make the mark, because we all fail but that is what God created "us imperfect beings" if he wanted perfect he had legions of Angels at his feet. Just saying...
I find solace knowing that people like those you describe are a sad example of my Faith and do not represent what my God has commanded. The tongue is wicked and when coupled with a sense of superiority it becomes an arrogant man’s weapon and his downfall.