A Walk in the Dark (a brief memoir and reflection)
A memoir from a moment of trial in the early winter of 2008:
I decided to go for a walk this morning at 5:00 a.m. It was very dark, So dark that I couldn't see my feet nor the road that I was walking on. I couldn't even see my dogs that I brought with me for comfort. I could only hear the clinking of their collars. I was hoping they were relying on some other instincts besides sight so we wouldn't head off into the ditch. It was deeply reflective of how life has been feeling lately - darkness, random fear, and loneliness. Yet hopeful of moving forward.
Don't ask me why I was doing this. I'm still not quite sure myself. I'm sure my dogs were wondering the same thing. I was about to turn back because I was frightened. I'm not sure of what, maybe just the dark itself, but I decided to push through it and continue on my journey.
This quote was in an email I read upon my return home.
"Faith, walking in the dark with God, only prays Him to clasp its hand more closely." --Phillips Brooks
I felt it reflective of how at times in our lives there are seasons of darkness when things appear hopeless and downright frightening. Sometimes it is so dark we can't see the path that is set before us and we don't know what to do. Nothing seems very clear and all we want to do is go back. But we just have to keep moving forward, push through and know that He loves us, He cares, and is with us, maybe even holding our hand.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory. ~ Psalm 73:23-24
“When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.” ~ unknown
Another thing I noticed was that I spent most of my time looking up at the stars because at this time of the day that it is the only light around. I note now that this is also true as we travel through dark places in life even through the valley of the shadow of death..when it looks as if things are dying...maybe hopes, maybe dreams, maybe people we love. When the darkness is so thick and impenetrable through our own reasoning or understanding of a way out, there really is only one place to look and that is up, to the one who created the stars to the one and only "light of the World"
I also took note of the Bright and Morning Star on my early morning journey. Upon my return I just so happened to listen to a sermon about it. It was told that the star known as the Bright and Morning Star (Venus) is the last star we see in the sky before the sun rises. It signals the dawning of a new day.
...and so as I walk through the dark I remind myself that He is holding my hand as I anxiously anticipate the dawning of a new day!
The people who walked in darkness Have seen a great light; Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death Upon them a light has shined. ~ Isaiah 9:2
*it is now 2011 and the Lord so graciously has fulfilled Isaiah 9:2 in my journey and it is light again. He held my hand and walked me through it. Hallelujah! All glory to The Lord God Almighty. The only Wise God who was and is and is to come. He is The All Sufficient One and my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace and Best Friend. I am So eternally grateful for His mercy (chesed - covenant love) that endures forever to those who fear Him and Him alone.
© 2011 Tamarajo
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