It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a high steeple.
One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he went into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out to the church and began the job.
He got done with the first side. It was looking great. But he noticed he had already used a half gallon. He didn't want to run back in town and being the creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner in the shed out back, and began to thin his paint.
It worked out great. He finished the remaining three sides with that last half gallon of paint.
That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he stepped outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that the first side was looking great, but that the paint on the other three sides had washed away.
The pastor looked up in sky in anguish and cried out, "What shall I do?"
A voice came back from the heavens saying, "Repaint, and thin no more!"
OK, here's one: But to understand it, you have to know that in Scotland the "wee free" are the Free Presbyterian Church of Scotland - a very strict Calvinist outfit mostly found in the outer islands.
A "wee free" minister, received a visit from a church elder, Andrew. The talk went like this:
Minister> Sit ye doon Andra. Will ye have a cup of tea? Andrew> No, thank ye, Minister, I'll not be needing tea. Minister> But ye'll no' mind if I have a cup to myself? Andrew> Well, in that case, I will take a cup with ye. Minister> Ye'll no' make yerself a liar in this house!
A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to GOD, U.S.A., they decided to send it to the President.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy $5.00. Mr. President thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to the little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to GOD that read: "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those devils deducted $95.00.
I have several Pastor friends. I have had several pastors in the last 30 years. I have come to realize that the expectations we place on them professionally and personally are unfair and unrealistic and I have seen it...
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and...