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Is eating chocolate while masturbating a sin?

  1. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Well, is it?

    1. Mark Knowles profile image60
      Mark Knowlesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Of course not. Eating chocolate is a sin, as is masturbation, but when you combine the two, they cancel each other out and you are sin-free.

      This is the way my world famous alcohol and chocolate diet works, using the active ingredients in one to cancel out the bad effects of the other. Same principal.

      This is why it is important to allow gay people to be married. Gay marriage is a sin, as is being gay in the first place, but the two cancel each other out.

      It really is unfair to prevent these deserving people from entering the kingdom of god by preventing them from being married. They will eventually have to resort to other sins to cancel the sin of gayness, which can only be a bad thing for all of us.

      Are you following me?

      1. earnestshub profile image87
        earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        So far I'm with you Mark, but what about the highly talented Jewel and cindyvine, they do much more.

      2. mohitmisra profile image62
        mohitmisraposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        lol  lol  lol you are seriously nuts wink

    2. No1beautytips profile image60
      No1beautytipsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      well when i on i crave it alot but then when i do eat it i feel a little sick. i heard eating bananna has the same feel good factor

  2. Cris A profile image61
    Cris Aposted 7 years ago

    No. I'd call it dexterity par excellence cool

  3. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 7 years ago

    from the way i look at it after being educated on hub pages.  Yes chocolate is a sin........

  4. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    But if you go for a jog afterwards, Brenda, it should be okay?

  5. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 7 years ago

    what if I jog whilst I am eating the chocolate is that a sin?

  6. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    No, I don't think so, but how are you going to masturbate while jogging?

    1. Mrvoodoo profile image60
      Mrvoodooposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Believe me, it can be done. wink

      What about masturbating whilst eating chocolate whilst smoking weed, is that a sin?

      1. Jewels profile image82
        Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I'll see your chocolate whilst smoking whilst masturbating and ipod listening and raise you a glass of red. lol

        1. earnestshub profile image87
          earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          You are a powerful force Jewel, I always said that...

        2. Mrvoodoo profile image60
          Mrvoodooposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Jeeez, How many hands do you think I have? But If you're up for giving it a go, I'm game. + I'll twirl a hula-hoop around my waist at the same time (and by waist I mean my cock), nah! big_smile

          1. Jewels profile image82
            Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            That is just not fair, you have extra bits.  Hmmmmm. Thinking thinking.

        3. Amanda Severn profile image92
          Amanda Severnposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          ...and a whiskey chaser!

  7. kephrira profile image61
    kephriraposted 7 years ago

    It sounds a bit messy, but if you did it with enough enthusiasm then maybe you wouldn't need to go for a jog afterwards, although men probably would have the advantage in that cos the..er... results... are quite calorific.

  8. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 7 years ago

    I am going to have to go for a shower, I cant handle all this chat about chocolate....

  9. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    How about you listen to your ipod, nibble on chocolate as you masturbate while jogging?  That way you have a beat to synchronise all your moves.

  10. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Damn Jewels, not sure if I can beat that hand.  Okay, listening to the ipod, nibbling chocolate, smoking weed, sipping red, masturbating while jogging in Victoria Park in Germany.  Istn't that the nude park?

  11. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Yeah Mark, I got it, two wrongs make a right.  So you can't have chocolate, weed and masturbation as it's three wrongs which makes it a sin.  You have to add in the ipod to make it even.  But then, if Jewels adds in a glass of red, it's uneven and a sin again, so I've added in a nudist park to balance it out again.

    1. Mark Knowles profile image60
      Mark Knowlesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      You got it in one. I have learned this through careful study of the scriptures and behavior of the clergy and righteous - and this is the only logical conclusion I can come to. wink

  12. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    We might want to include a power shower Jewels, you know the shower with the detachable head that you can set the water pressure?

    1. Jewels profile image82
      Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Gotcha. Thanks for that tip. Nice addition.

  13. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Ah if we have the whiskey Amanda, then we have to include the power shower to stay with Mark's theory.

  14. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Man oh man, that power shower can give a good start to the day!

    1. Jewels profile image82
      Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Oooooh yes!

      1. Amanda Severn profile image92
        Amanda Severnposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Is that what you call water therapy? And do you like your chocolate soggy?

        1. Jewels profile image82
          Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Well by this stage the chocolate has pretty well melted over certain parts of me.  The water therapy has several uses.  I like hard chocolate as a rule.

  15. Mrvoodoo profile image60
    Mrvoodooposted 7 years ago

    This is getting too complicated for me, and I've had a lot of practice, but you're gonna have to be some kind of circus freak to pull this off (no pun intended).

    I wish you all luck, but I'm out. big_smile

    1. Amanda Severn profile image92
      Amanda Severnposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Wimp!

  16. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    I prefer my chocolate hard Amanda, and I like to let it melt slowly in my mouth.  I am a little worried it might melt if I have it in my pocket while I'm jogging.

    1. profile image61
      CabinGirlposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I like it hard smile

    2. Amanda Severn profile image92
      Amanda Severnposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Not a good look, especially if you're wearing white jogging pants!

      1. Mrvoodoo profile image60
        Mrvoodooposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        hahaha, no, really not a good look.

  17. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    So Mark, if a priest is diddling a choir boy or a pastor is bonking the tea lady at his church it's a sin.  But, if they both steal money from the collection plate then the one wrong balances out the other and they are saved?

  18. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Oh my goodness Amanda, nooooo, we can't wear white jogging shorts, that's a no-no.  We'll have to stick to a dark colour and maybe wear a white sports bra on top.

  19. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    We might have to get Cris to suggest some suitable music for us to put on our ipods.  Maybe we have to gobble th choclate rather than savouring it?

  20. Amanda Severn profile image92
    Amanda Severnposted 7 years ago

    Why do I keep getting mental images of Marianne Faithful and a mars bar here?

  21. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 7 years ago

    Is hub pages really 4 me........ ha ha

  22. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Of course Hubpages is really for you Brenda.  Now be a good girl and eat your chocolate.  Amanda, Marianne Faithful yes, what was that one song she sang about cobwebs in strange places.

    1. Amanda Severn profile image92
      Amanda Severnposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I don't know that one. I only know about the mars bar. Seems like a terrible waste of good chocolate to me, but I suppose a mars a day helps you work rest and play!

      1. earnestshub profile image87
        earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this
        1. blondepoet profile image79
          blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Omg that song is awesome, did you see the way he caressed those two melons, what a man hey ROFL, that was so unique, my word Earnest I can see what you do in your spare time now aside from wearing my frocks hahaha

          1. earnestshub profile image87
            earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            I thought it was amazing, great music and video.

  23. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 7 years ago

    I am just thinking back to schooldays, we had two girls in our class, like Blondepoet and cindyvine, it was a laugh a minute, you are both very witty, but it is hard to keep up with so i will just munch my chocolate, and take a ring side seat.......

    1. Jewels profile image82
      Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Careful not to be mistaken for a voyeur Brenda. Mark will have to find the match for that and have it crossed out in the sin department.

      1. profile image0
        \Brenda Scullyposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        now what is a voyeur, if you dont mind me asking?

    2. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I was naughty at school oh my....loool...I would be sitting in a cubicle in the loo while class was on and one day my headmistress knocked on the door while I was smoking...I left my port outside the door amd she looked on my book to see who was in there. She said "Miss Murarenko is that u". I said "No" I always got in trouble as my hair was out or for nail polish, wagging school, smoking (bum puffing)

  24. blondepoet profile image79
    blondepoetposted 7 years ago

    Cindy says hurry up and get here ROFL now she is not here oooooooooooooo

  25. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Oh God Brenda, I am such a teacher.  A voyeur is someone who gets their jollies watching other people get their jollies.  Okay, Blonde I am here, was sorting out my son who wanted money from me.....again.

  26. Lisa HW profile image82
    Lisa HWposted 7 years ago

    Oh, my goodness.   I think I'll go find tk on a political thread and pick another argument.    smile

  27. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 7 years ago

    wow I am so on a learning curve today... totally corrupted.

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Stick with us and you will never be the same again hahax0

  28. Teresa McGurk profile image60
    Teresa McGurkposted 7 years ago

    What if you're in a jacuzzi, eating chocolate, drinking champagne, masturbating, listening to your iPhone, while downloading porn?

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Oh good golly Miss Molly listen to Teresa she has the experience for this kind of thing oooo

    2. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Do you have any Linda Love Lace movies Teresa I have heard she was a big star.

      1. Teresa McGurk profile image60
        Teresa McGurkposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        No, but I hear Tracy Takes Tokyo is quite good

        1. blondepoet profile image79
          blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          You know I starred in "Debbie Does Dallas don't you?" Haha. I make my own movies never download them. Growl.

        2. Jewels profile image82
          Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          It's much more tasteful than Debbie Does Dallas - so I'm told.

          1. blondepoet profile image79
            blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Ahoy you saying my movie is no good ROFL

  29. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Brenda, be thankful Blonde is elsewhere celebrating, because if she was here.....
    Lisa, this has to be better than that political arguement stuff

  30. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Well Teresa, according to Mark's theory that would make you balanced and not a sinner.  But what about the jogging and jogging shorts?  Would we ditch those?

    1. Teresa McGurk profile image60
      Teresa McGurkposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      jogging?  too much like hard work. . .

  31. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Actually Teresa, I think I agree with you.  The jacuzzi is a far better bet.  The jogging is too much like hard work and if you remember, I was really concerned with the chocolate melting in my pocket.  Now I think of it, masturbating while running might be a little difficult to do.

    1. Jewels profile image82
      Jewelsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Agree, scrap the jogging in Victoria Park Germany.  Go for the jacuzzi then you have more hands free, no water nozzles needed. Do the chocolate like soap on a rope, sipping champagne cause the red wine is empty. I'd like to go for the macadamia nuts if that's ok with you guys, listening to the iPod while masturbating - yeah that sounds right!  Is anyone taking notes, not sure if we are at odds or evens with the equal amount of sins thing?

  32. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    No Mohitmisra, Mark has a valid point, I can see it.  Mmmm nuts, maybe we can introduce nuts into our equation.

    1. mohitmisra profile image62
      mohitmisraposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol  lol  lol  you are all nuts wink

      1. blondepoet profile image79
        blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Haha and loving it

  33. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Ah, but you like us, don't you?

    1. mohitmisra profile image62
      mohitmisraposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Sure. smile

  34. scheinandras profile image59
    scheinandrasposted 7 years ago

    Definitely not sin. They both stimulate the same little joy sensors:)

    1. fierycj profile image86
      fierycjposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      That stuff cracks me up. Joy sensors. Imagine someone who wants to jerk off saying, "hey, lemme go stimulate my joy sensors!" lol. That kills me.

  35. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Exactly Scheinandras, exactly.  And now we know from Mark, if we balance our wrongs they become a right.

  36. Lisa HW profile image82
    Lisa HWposted 7 years ago

    Oh, how I miss the tameness of the "how do you know if a Hubber is dead" and "how do you know if a Hubber is insane" series of posts.

  37. Eaglekiwi profile image75
    Eaglekiwiposted 7 years ago

    Nahhhh nothing tastes like chocolate except chocolate...but um masterbating while masticating hmm..seems a waste of perfectly good chocolate lol

  38. Julie-Ann Amos profile image53
    Julie-Ann Amosposted 7 years ago

    Depends what kind of chocolate it is

  39. dipless profile image85
    diplessposted 7 years ago

    nope is the fastest way to heaven wink or hell depending upon your preferences wink

  40. Bob Cedar profile image66
    Bob Cedarposted 7 years ago

    as long as there is peanut butter also involved, you're spanking sin-free!

  41. dipless profile image85
    diplessposted 7 years ago

    bring on the peanut butter big_smile

  42. Bob Cedar profile image66
    Bob Cedarposted 7 years ago

    It's peanut butter-chocolate time! *brings out the dancing banana*

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I would love to see a banana dance

  43. goldentoad profile image60
    goldentoadposted 7 years ago

    What thread did I slide into? Its all sticky in here.

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Yea it is who has a spoon I am hungry

  44. Misha profile image77
    Mishaposted 7 years ago

    A spoon of what? wink

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I want to eat all this chocolate going on here mmmmm

  45. Misha profile image77
    Mishaposted 7 years ago

    Don't have that, sorry smile

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      What do you have then?, I may be able to utilise it hahaha.

  46. profile image61
    Blackngoldbananaposted 7 years ago

    You can eat chocolate and masturbate, but only if you are married to the chocolate.  Here comes my husband the peanut butter cup now

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I got a good answer to this one but I dare not say it or I will be banned for life for obscenities ROFL. BP has the perfect solution for masturbation and eating chocolate at the same time....you need a jar of chocolate body paint a rather large one for this mission.

      1. sunstreeks profile image84
        sunstreeksposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        It's all fun and games until someone goes into diabetic coma

        1. blondepoet profile image79
          blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Oh god I would not want that to happen, would have to check for diabetes first I think

          1. sunstreeks profile image84
            sunstreeksposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Which is why I think It's important for all chocoholic masterbaters to look into seeking a doctors advice and getting a full physical first. Safety First!!!! =P

            1. earnestshub profile image87
              earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              To hell with safety! Bring on the chocolate body paint!

              1. blondepoet profile image79
                blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                Now you talking Earnest,enough talking on this forum it is time for the painting to begin woo hoo

  47. kblover profile image92
    kbloverposted 7 years ago

    Of course it is.

    It falls under gluttony big_smile

  48. profile image61
    Blackngoldbananaposted 7 years ago

    Is gluttony a mortal sin or a venial one?  I didn't know that they made chocolate body paint.  Awesome!

  49. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Just get the diabetics some diabetic chocolate

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Problem solved action lights camera

  50. cindyvine profile image87
    cindyvineposted 7 years ago

    Okay, I have to go for a power shower, am heading out later.  The jet from that shower head, oo la la la

 
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