ADAM....at the creation.

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  1. qwark profile image60
    qwarkposted 14 years ago

    Lets test your knowledged and "thinking."
    I'm going to ask a question that I asked my teachers in seminary.
    Their responses were incredulous in ref to the subject and my asking.
    They would not respond. Why? They thought I was
    1. kidding (I wasn't)
    2. My question was blasphemous (it was not.)
    Only those who have "thoughtfully" studied biblical scriptures would be able to answer me. Evidently they hadn't.
    Many, many more questions such as this, caused them to ask for my dismissal from seminary studies. I, thankfully, obliged.
    Here's my question:
    When Adam was (alledgedly)created, was he created with a penis?
    If you answer, pls offer your reasons.   :-)
    I won't get many responses to this question from believers. They will assume the same "position" as my X seminary teachers.
    I'll put $ on it!   lol

    1. Padrino profile image62
      Padrinoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know I wasn't there, were you?

      1. qwark profile image60
        qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        typical trite believer answer....expected!

    2. profile image52
      toby9852posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      why do people ask stupid questions,yes adam did how else would they populate the earth.



      toby9852

    3. LiamBean profile image80
      LiamBeanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Oh that is one very interesting question.

      If he were it would have been because G_d knew his experiment with two eternal beings would fail. You might also have asked if Eve were created with a womb.

      I hope you got some learned answers from some scholars. If you did I hope you share.

    4. goldenpath profile image66
      goldenpathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes.  We are in the image of God.  The Fall promulgated the necessity of blood in our veins thus enabling child bearing and other things we are able to experience in this level of existence.  This blood was not present in it's current form at the time of Adam and Eve's creation.

    5. roger wright profile image60
      roger wrightposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well, here's a response from a Christian:  Of course he did have a penis, and I don't think it's a ridiculous question.  Actually, it made me laugh.  I thought it was a great question.  Only for one reason though--because spiritual inquiry is always healthy.

      God told Adam to multiply, so he had to come equipped to do the job.  The only thing he didn't have was a belly button.

      God is so good, and He loves His kids so much that He actually wants us to know Him, and to know Him well.

      God bless,
      Roger

    6. profile image0
      Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Could I ask? what was the point of this thread...what were you really looking for?

    7. profile image52
      paarsurreyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hi friend qwark

      I am surprised as to how your seminary teachers could not answer your simple and natural question.

      Adam was not the first human being as commonly believed, he was the first person with whom God Allah YHWH had a direct conversation, and there were human beings men/woman before Adam and Eve having body and soul like Adam.

      I love Jesus as I do love Adam and Eve

      Thanks

      I am an Ahmadi peaceful Muslim

  2. profile image0
    StormRyderposted 14 years ago

    I'm not really sure??? It seems many painters thought he was created with a fig leaf instead of a penis...Going green way ahead of his time! Adam was a trend setter!! big_smile
    Wonder if he went organic?? lol lol

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hahahaha...love it!
      Thanks Storm....honesty'll get'cha everything! In this case a laugh!!  :-)

    2. profile image0
      StormRyderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm still not sure even with all the opinions being posted??
      So...I'll just stick with the painters of all those old paintings and say fig leaf! smile

  3. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

    Both gates are open, call the fire department. As it was written on the tablets of Urr all those at the hot tub and spa agree it was really cold so no one knows for sure.

  4. profile image0
    JeanMeriamposted 14 years ago

    You do ask the big important questions of life don't you?

    I'm just going to go on the assumption that at some point the man would have had to urinate, therefore he would need an appendage to do that with.

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Jean:
      Why an "appendage?"
      Why not a "hole?"

      1. profile image0
        JeanMeriamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Well we will have to back up a bit. Are you talking about the first creation story or the second one?

        1. qwark profile image60
          qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Jean:
          Did I not say the "creation?"
          How many creations are there?
          " and god said, let us create man in our image."
          Take it from there.

          1. profile image0
            JeanMeriamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Well if we are using the first creation story which you are then it is because man and woman were created together, hence the need for a penis. If you go with the second more popular creation story which begins at Genesis 2:5 then that's a whole other matter that I believe might actually be against the hubpages TOS to discuss on the forum.

            And to the best of my knowledge the second creation story of the Bible is actually the original creation story.

            1. qwark profile image60
              qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

              Jean:
              Yer complicating it...it's right there for ya.

              1. profile image0
                JeanMeriamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                I'm not complicating it. There are two different creation stories in the Bible. Genesis 2:5 is the beginning of the earlier myth. In this earlier myth, Eve was created from Adam's rib. In the later myth they were created together. 

                You are taking two different creation myths and trying to put them together. These are two very different stories written at different times by different people, probably the oral tradition of two different tribes.

                In myth 1 from Genesis 2:5 onward he would have had no use for a penis. In the later myth which for some reason is presented first he either had a penis or had no use for Eve.

                1. qwark profile image60
                  qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Jean:
                  Both myths...soooo, it really doesnt make any difference which myth it is does it?
                  In reality, it's not even worth chatting about...unless one likes, sitting, having a cuppa coffee with friends BS'ing about Harry Potter, the wizards and witches...
                  None of this means anything to me..just a way to pass time while looking for worthwhile porno on this damned computer.
                  Thanks for a few moments of entertainment..:-)

  5. Faybe Bay profile image63
    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    It truly depends on which interpretations you read. In Kabbalah it is believed that Adam was a hermaphrodite. That being said, the rib is taken to mean a side. God took a side of Adam, meaning the feminine side of Adam and therefore created a perfect mate, His other half.

    The Zohar has a different interpretation, that Adam and Eve were beings of pure light (created in God's image, Spirit) And that at the point of admission of disobedience, were made clothes of "Skin" at which point they became human, a spirit being entrapped in a body made of skin, that would age and die. If that view is taken then it would be at this point that Adam acquired the appendage in question.

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Now you can begin to understand why there are over 38,000 differing protestant interpretations of the "bible."
      For the sake of this question, let's stick to the most popular interpretion of the OT....the KJ version.
      13th century "zohar?" who cares?

      1. Faybe Bay profile image63
        Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        King James Version is newer. Just saying. You asked. I personally don't care. Sorry I bothered answering a question I thought you wanted an answer to.

        History of English Translations.

        http://www.greatsite.com/timeline-engli … e-history/

        1. qwark profile image60
          qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Yes it is newer...lol too many damned translations.
          Lets just stick with the KJ version 'cause there are few believers who have taken the time to study past translations in differing languages...ok?
          If ya wanna quit....NP...lol  :-)

  6. aka-dj profile image66
    aka-djposted 14 years ago

    I have to admit, I never thought about this one.

    I like the "urinating" hypothesys though. big_smile
    In that lite I'd go with either way. He would have needed something.

    Penis is neccessary for procreation, and could easily have benn added/modified at the separation of Eve from his original body.


    I don't see the relevance of the question to anything really important, but hey, I often contemplate his belly button debate....hmm

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Aka:
      lolol...would I ask it if it wasn't "relevant?"...of course not!  :-)
      I will provide the answer after I see a few "irrelevant" responses.
      Thanks for the response.  :-)

      1. aka-dj profile image66
        aka-djposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Please...


        Call me DJ.

        Now, where' my $ ?

        lol  lol  lol

  7. profile image0
    Onusonusposted 14 years ago

    Not sure wether or not if he was born with a tally whacker, but The good book says he invented multiplication.

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      These are the kinds of answers I expected....ty ..whew!

  8. profile image0
    Onusonusposted 14 years ago

    Seriously though I think that you are implying that because he was in the Garden with Eve and they couldn't multiply before they ate from the tree of knowledge, that this means he didn't come equipped with a "calculator".

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Not at all...and it's so obvious...c'mon!

  9. profile image0
    Onusonusposted 14 years ago

    I think he had a wiener but he didn't know how to wang chung tonight. Hence the knowledge issue.

  10. Rochelle Frank profile image89
    Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

    It says "male and female he created them". And before that, animal creatures were created that could bring forth their own kinds... so I would suppose, yes.

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Ah Rochelle:
      You haven't studied your bible!
      Shame on you!
      Didn't this god thing say: ""Then The Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." (Genesis 2:18
      Now think about that scripture and decide if Adam was created with a penis...let me know what you've decided.

      1. profile image0
        Onusonusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Alright dude you reeled me in. I'm not seeing how this scripture implies that he was born without the goods.
        Are you implying that "Fit for him" means that they were equal on all aspects? And if you are, then what if they were both born men and God chopped off her chunks. So to speak, then there would be a whole new mystery behind the circumcision thing.

        1. qwark profile image60
          qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Open thy mind "follower."
          It can be used to "think!"

      2. LiamBean profile image80
        LiamBeanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Maybe the gender of Adam and Eve were mixed up over time. The master would need a handle to drag the helper around with...not the other way around.

        1. Rochelle Frank profile image89
          Rochelle Frankposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I'm not sure about that, but quark was right-- I am not a Biblicial scholar-- (even though the verse about 'creating them male and female" comes before the one he cited) The Eve's view is interesting too.

          Is the creation story literal? I rather doubt it (and I have other questions), but the message may be literal. God created stuff including humankind. They didn't follow the rules. They paid a price.
          The details are incidental.

          If all of mankind had followed the rules (not killing, lying,coveting and that stuff) we would still be in Eden.
          This is all silly conjecture.

          If you have any questions, ask quark. He has given it a lot more thought.

      3. profile image0
        Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        God created male and female at the same time..they were attached and separated..The word translated as rib..was really side and not rib..so it is either dividing cells or male and female were attached at the side..
        Gen.5:2: Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

        I personally think it is speaking of cells....

        Many people think the earth suddenly had grass and trees but it isn't what Genesis taught..

        1. Faybe Bay profile image63
          Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Ah see, I said it was a side up above but Quark shot it down saying te only reference to go by is King James Version of Genesis, and not any other interpretation.

          1. profile image0
            Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I'm going by the Torah written in Hebrew.

            You are correct...

            KJV and all English Bibles say RIB..it wasn't a rib...

            Also "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh"

            If it was just his rib..where does the flesh of my flesh come from?

            1. Rochelle Frank profile image89
              Rochelle Frankposted 14 years agoin reply to this

              I think I agree with your idea here... but If I buy ribs at the meat market, they have flesh on them.

              1. profile image52
                paarsurreyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Hi friends

                One should not take Bible stories in physical sense; the scribe has resorted to fiction and poetry here. One should try to understand the phenomenon instead of taking it in literal sense.

                Thanks

                I am an Ahmadi peaceful Muslim

            2. Faybe Bay profile image63
              Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

              My interpretations come from others who have studied the Torah, no first hand experience here, sadly, only what I read in books written by students of the Torah and Talmud, or Kabbalah and Zohar. I am lucky to have had that much.

              1. profile image0
                Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Yes, mine are also from those sources..I'm a Kabbalist and disagree with most people's idea of creation.

                1. Faybe Bay profile image63
                  Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Sorry i was off hubbing! Yo must be going to work! I stayed up all night again! Either I need to get a job or start working out. I am going to pot on the computer.

                  I am glad we both see eye to eye on this. I spent last night educating myself on various cultures creation stories, which will be very interesting to tie together!

  11. Randy Godwin profile image59
    Randy Godwinposted 14 years ago

    The "Tree of Life" of was mentioned, was it  not, Qwark?

  12. qwark profile image60
    qwarkposted 14 years ago

    Ok, lets do this simply.
    Alledgedly this god thing created adam, thought a bit "Then The Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." (Genesis 2:18) and then created eve.
    If this god thing created eve as an afterthought, what would a penis have been used for before her? He hadn't thought of procreation.
    A hole would have done it.
    Which proves another point, this biblical god thing isn't omniscient. If it was, it would have thought all this out before hand and created them at the same time with procreation in mind.
    How can you "followers" miss this simple facet of the fairytale?
    Oh, I understand why...lolol...:-)

    1. profile image0
      Onusonusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I like my version better, at least it explains Abraham's covenant of circumcision.

    2. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      See that is the flaw. People view the book as history, or fairy tale. Yet Dante's Inferno is philosophical. What if the Bible is more Philosophical than historical. Many of the concepts used in the Church are not Biblical, but passed down through the theologists from Dante.

      The point is that if man was perfect in the day he was created, then he wouldn't have needed a helper. There was no work to do. If we take it at face value, without digging deeper, and seeing the philosophical angle, then there is no need for a penis or a woman. You only create when there is something unfinished. You don't remake the made bed, or rewash the clean dishes. You have to dig deeper and see that as the God is described as all knowing, then the penis would be included as God knew he would eventually make a woman, because God knew that man would need a helper, because God knew that the world was not finished, not perfect and not complete.

      1. qwark profile image60
        qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        faybe:
        Of course all you write about is but opinion...as is what I wrote.
        All I can do is translate, available scripture, in accordance with my understanding of my native language: English.
        Since the advent of protestantism in the 1600's during the Reformation, more than 38,000 differing interpretations of the OT and the NT have engendered that number of sects.
        So if you interpret what you read in biblical scriptures in the manner you have, there are probably others existing which view scripture as you do.
        I'm a very literal reader. When I studied in seminary, I guess I would have qualified as a "fundamentalist."
        The difference 'twixt me and my peers, was that I didn't accept answers I was given by teachers and sought greater knowledge by reading and studying everything I could get my mind wrapped around that might help me to understand all that surrounds me.
        If the scriptures were inspired by "god," who was I to challenge them? If it is said that god created adam then eve, and I'm a thinking, conscious seeking believer, I am going to accept "god's" words until proven otherwise.
        since god created adam and didn't want him to be lonely, so created eve, I can only think that god hadn't thought about procreation when he created adam...ergo, no penis...made sense to me....as it does now knowing it is but a fairytale.

        1. Faybe Bay profile image63
          Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Yes but Kabbalah was around before the Bible. The Zohar was handed down by word of mouth, not written, an esoteric study by Rabbis, of the original scrolls.

          That to me, puts one closer to interpreting any English version.

          An interesting point of study comes from Talmudic study. Why a Rib:

          Why not a foot, a toe, a part of the back, or head?

          Here is that result:

          The rib, because it is close to the heart that man would love woman, from under the arm, that he would protect her. From his side that they should be equal partners, not from his head that she would be above him, nor from his foot so that he would trod on her, not from his back, that he should stay ahead of her or leave her behind, not from his hand that he might strike her, or hold her back, or try to control her. No God chose his rib, that is pretty eloquent.

          Pretty interesting stuff, from the people who studied the original texts.

          1. qwark profile image60
            qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Hi Faybe:
            The original texts?
            Man is an imperfect story teller.
            He has had, down thru the ages, been interpreting and re-interpreting everything that has been recorded in so many differing languages, that there is little if anything existing today that can be referred to as being "truly" credible.
            During the 1000 yrs of the dark ages, roman catholicism destroyed and corrupted everything they could get their controlling evil hands on! They are but 1 of the many corrupting elements which have made most of religious history ridiculous.
            I appreciate your thoughtful responses tho..ty

            1. Faybe Bay profile image63
              Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

              The Dead Sea Scrolls, found after the Dark Ages, and studied for many years give us a clue as to how much changed and how much remained the same. I am not saying believe or don't believe, but asking people to open their minds, while you choose a stubborn stance is not becoming in the debate. I open my mind, will you not open yours.

              I started out hoping to reveal the secrets I have uncovered in the pages of the great book, but so few were interested in reading it.

              1. qwark profile image60
                qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Fabey:
                Great books?
                Man is but "man!"
                There is nothing "great" about simple man other than "it" exists as an unique, temporary life form on a temporary planet revolving around a temporary sun.
                Yes I do take a very stubborn position in ref. to my disbelief in a fairytale god thing.
                My mind is "open" and acceptive of anything but trite, shallow, uneducated comments made by simple, primitive human beings who, FACTUALLY know nothing and have nothing new and provocative to offer.
                I must agree with Aristotle when he said (paraphrase) he was the most ignorant of men and relate that to me.
                I am like the little robot in the movies who kept repeating "input, input."
                My experiences in life enable me to seperate the wheat from the chaff.
                This god thing happens to fall into the pile I consider to be "chaff."

                1. Faybe Bay profile image63
                  Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Thank you for calling me a trite shallow and uneducated human. I was right the first time, when I said if you didn't want answers you shouldn't ask. I wrote a hub on the first three verses of Genesis. The idea being that there is more there than meets the eye. These people who you call uneducated have done nothing but study the words of the "Great Book" The great book being the one that has been translated into more languages and sold more copies than any other book in the history of publishing!

                  Here was your original question:
                  "Here's my question:
                  When Adam was (alledgedly)created, was he created with a penis?
                  If you answer, pls offer your reasons.   :-)"

                  No answer has been good enough for you. What response are you hoping for? No he was an amoeba? Please. If you want to talk about theology fine, if you want to talk about evolution, fine, but to call me PRIMATIVE, because you do not know how to form an intelligent question, and oh by the way, before you judge me read my hubs!

                  1. qwark profile image60
                    qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                    Fabye:
                    Great response! Ty
                    I think I mentioned in another forum comment that I enjoy impassioned, "rational" responses.
                    Yours is certainly "impassioned."  :-)
                    Rational? NOT!
                    You have asked me to read a "hub" or 2 of yours.
                    I'm gonna do just that...TY for the invite.
                    I will respond to them.
                    You are "feisty." That's intrigues me.
                    I'm going grocery shopping now. When I get back, I'll get to your "hubs."
                    Thanks ..:-)

        2. LiamBean profile image80
          LiamBeanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I certainly hope you've changed your course of study to a scientific field. I think you are far better suited to that direction.

  13. profile image0
    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    God said it is not good for man to be alone. Why? because he was playin' with it man. Or maybe he was doin' sheep. Was he created with teeth? Did he go through teething like I did? He could not have had a navel, or could he? So many questions.

  14. waterbottle profile image60
    waterbottleposted 14 years ago

    of course he had a penis because if he didn't then how would they have kids?

  15. waterbottle profile image60
    waterbottleposted 14 years ago

    god was thinking about procreation.... duh!!! he didn't want only 2 people he wanted 9 999 999 people

    1. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You put that so much better than I did! Thanks for simplifying my two paragraph explanation!

      Yes he was created with it! big_smile

      1. waterbottle profile image60
        waterbottleposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        your welcome

  16. qwark profile image60
    qwarkposted 14 years ago

    I only respond to well thought out, well presented responses.
    If I don't respond, it is because I consider the writer to be unworthy of a response.
    Blunt but honest.

  17. Rochelle Frank profile image89
    Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

    Was Adam created with an appendix?
    I'm aware I may be unworthy, but I was just wondering.

  18. profile image0
    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    LOL that's  good Rochelle big_smile

  19. profile image56
    foreignpressposted 14 years ago

    Genesis, Chap. 4, says Eve bore Cain. Then came along Abel. But I think they were both made out of clay.

  20. Jerami profile image59
    Jeramiposted 14 years ago

    I had never thought about this before but the theory of evolution requires that not only a living organism evolves but also the laws of nature.   The reproduction system of single celled organisms reproduced under the laws of nature.   
        So I guess that the laws of nature would also have to have Evolved. Don't make since to me ????

    1. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm going to the gym.
      I'll answer that one when I get back.

  21. Paul Wingert profile image60
    Paul Wingertposted 14 years ago

    Adam and Eve, Noah and the Arc, a virgin giving birth, etc. they are nice stories, but they were never meant to be taken literally.

    1. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly what I have been saying. I can tell you an aboriginal tale that sounds like Genesis, but with a twist. The man who recited is never saw a missionary or read a Bible.

    2. profile image0
      Twenty One Daysposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      so you are saying that literally Trillions of human beings over the last 6+ millennium, from every form of culture and race on the entire planet, just offhandedly accepted these 'stories' to their own demise, but 'evolution' which is less than 200 years in the making is accurate and should be accepted?

      did you miss something in there about stories being told or did i read that incorrectly.

      choo-choo, all aboard.

  22. lilly_dens profile image41
    lilly_densposted 14 years ago

    i think Adam already has an appendage when he was created, because God already had the intention that humans reproduce. And why wouldn't God put an appendage to Adam when he place it on animals too.

  23. qwark profile image60
    qwarkposted 14 years ago

    Jerami
    Nature is just the physical universe.
    It is in chronic flux.
    All life within the physical universe must adapt or perish.
    Evolution is controlled by environment.
    As the environment changes, so must life if it is to survive.
    I don't know how to explain it any differently.
    The concept is very simple.
    The processes are very complicated.

    1. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Ah, you have met Jerami... This should be fun to watch! LOL.

      Hullo Jerami.

    2. profile image0
      Twenty One Daysposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      the universe is not physical, as some assume.
      it is projective, optic and reflective light.

      this is such a misconception. physical matter is false in that everything IS matter, has mass and purpose -invisible (projective &  reflective) or visible (optic) but in fact all stasis of light are material, because everything comes from it.

      but i still heart hub ya Quark!
      big_smile

    3. Jerami profile image59
      Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I didn't express my earlier question very well
        The reproduction system of a single celled organism is simply splitting in half each half grows until it can split in half again ????  It seems to be quite a jump in evolution of the reproduction system in itself to evolve to sexuality;  An evolution of a natural law of reproduction.  I know nothing.  Just saying that I had never thought of this in that respect???
         What ever theory as to how this actually evolved I am sure would require a great amount of faith. 

        Howdie Faybe Bay   how ya doin?

      1. Faybe Bay profile image63
        Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Jerami I have found something you will thoroughly enjoy. I can't yet find the one I am looking for, the Aboriginal telling the creation story but this is wonderful.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5infho-6nQ

        This is called Oursness:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8zAh3irMYo

        1. Jerami profile image59
          Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I loved especially the description of the our'sness of it all, 
          I think he could never express but a small part of his true nature,  Sure looked like a pure heart and deep understanding

    4. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Quark, you might just like this one.

      http://www.crystal-reflections.com/joke … ke_606.htm

      Not to be irreverent or anything, just came up in my research, no pun intended. wink

  24. Beth100 profile image69
    Beth100posted 14 years ago

    I heard that this is Eve's side of the story:

    After three weeks in the Garden of Eden,  God came to visit Eve.

    'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.

    'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

    It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'

    And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

    'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'

    And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes 

    Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

    ' Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?'

    'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

    God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless Tit?'

    Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

    1. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Very nice Beth! You have answered the Question!

      1. Beth100 profile image69
        Beth100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Thank you Faybe (and I think you're the only one that read this!)

        Enjoy the night Faybe! smile

        1. Faybe Bay profile image63
          Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah a bit too busy arguing above. I liked it though, as much merit as any other.

        2. Rochelle Frank profile image89
          Rochelle Frankposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I read and liked it, too-- acknowledged in an above post.

          1. Faybe Bay profile image63
            Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yeah our Beth has the Man Upstairs ear for sure!

          2. Faybe Bay profile image63
            Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Here Rochelle, this one is very good, I think you'll like it, too.


              One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have
            a problem!"
              "What's the problem, Eve?"
              "Lord, I know you created me and provided  this beautiful garden and
            all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but
            I'm just not happy."
              "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
              "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
              "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution.  I shall create a man
            for you."
              "What's a man, Lord?"
              "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie,
            cheat, and be vain and glorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
            But...he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things.
            He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining,
            I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
            He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and
            kicking a ball about.  He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your
            advice to think properly."
              "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
            "What's the catch, Lord?"
              "Well... you can have him on one condition."
              "What's that, Lord?"
              "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll
            have to let him believe that I made him first.  Just remember, it's our
            little secret...You know, woman to woman."

    2. TheGlassSpider profile image63
      TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      LMAO Oh Beth, this is wonderful. You should publish this as a hub if you haven't already...this needs to endure. I love it!

      1. Faybe Bay profile image63
        Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        I have to find the one on where cats and dogs came from... I think my Uncle sent it, about God giving Adam a dog, and Eve a cat?

        1. TheGlassSpider profile image63
          TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I've never seen it, but I would love to if you come across it. smile

          1. Faybe Bay profile image63
            Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I will find it! Oh yes, I am good at research big_smile

          2. Faybe Bay profile image63
            Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I found it!

            http://www.planetmgc.com/vbforum/showth … p?p=198185

            I think the original was longer and will keep looking.

            1. TheGlassSpider profile image63
              TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

              Oh thank you for your research skills. That gave me a good laugh, Faybe, and I really needed it. Thank you.

    3. lilly_dens profile image41
      lilly_densposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      now that's something new, nice story beth! hehe each story has it's own vantage point and let's take it from Eve this time hehe

      1. Beth100 profile image69
        Beth100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Unfortunately, I tend to find humor in everything...much to the dismay of others.  lol  But I'm relieved to see that some of you guys out there can still have humor whilst being in this forum! 

        @ Glass -- hmmm...maybe I will hub it, but you think it might offend anyone?

        @  Faybe -- LOL  That's a good one!  Can I add that to Eve's side of the story if I hub it?  lol

        1. TheGlassSpider profile image63
          TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Probably, but I figure you can't please all the people all the time. Might as well please yourself. smile It's funny, I think most people with common sense can see that it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

          With people running around out there talking about how God is a Martian...who are you really going to offend? roll LOL

          1. Beth100 profile image69
            Beth100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I would hope they find it funny, but my sense of humor is not what one would call the "norm".  hehehehe  I think I'll hub it this weekend.  I need to write a hub, a fast one, and a funny one.  Thanks for the suggestion Glass.  smile

            lol  So true!  Maybe She's not a Martian....maybe She's a Venusian!  lol 

            See ya around tomorrow! smile

    4. profile image0
      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      wow, i liked your version far better than the original. lol.  i agree with everyone else here, you should definitely turn it into a hub too.  lol.

  25. Jerami profile image59
    Jeramiposted 14 years ago

    Faybe Bay  Thanks I'll check it out now. 

    And beth That was funny.  didn't say nothing cause
    Anytime that I notice I'm gettin too high on 10 most posts I try to slow down a bit.

    1. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Always Jerami. True seekers help each other.

  26. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 14 years ago

    Since they were told to Multiply..they were either created as dividing cells that evolved into a person or they were created with the needed equipment.

    1. Faybe Bay profile image63
      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Good point!

    2. C.V.Rajan profile image60
      C.V.Rajanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      "Since they were told to multiply", well, God made them memorize multiplication table by heart!?

  27. C.V.Rajan profile image60
    C.V.Rajanposted 14 years ago

    I believe God created Adam with the tool, but till he ate the forbidden fruit, Adam didn't know the "second and more fun-filled usage" of his tool!

  28. profile image52
    paarsurreyposted 14 years ago

    Rochelle Frank wrote:

    It says "male and female he created them". And before that, animal creatures were created that could bring forth their own kinds... so I would suppose, yes.

    Paarsurrey says:

    I agree with you.

    It is a style of saying that Adam and Eve got evolved and were the first human beings with whom the Creator - God Allah YHWH talked.

    Thanks

    I am an Ahmadi peaceful Muslim

  29. profile image52
    paarsurreyposted 14 years ago

    Hi friends

    One may like to access the following link just for relevant information:

    Life in the Perspective of Quranic Revelations—A Brief Introductory Chapter
    http://www.alislam.org/library/books/re … ion_1.html

    Thanks

    I am an Ahmadi peaceful Muslim

    1. Beelzedad profile image58
      Beelzedadposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      "The above was only an allegation of the Skeptics here; they alleged out of hearsay; and when asked to quote it from Quran, they just could not."

  30. profile image52
    paarsurreyposted 14 years ago

    Hi friends

    "Adam" got evolved. He was born in a  tribe having many men and women like him.

    Thanks

    I am an Ahmadi peaceful Muslim

 
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