I noticed Sid.. although he would never admit.. pacing around the house the last few days… well.. not pacing.. but experience the odd… look.. into THAT direction.. every now and again over the last few days…. Yes.. he was waiting to see if he had been shortlisted for the Waverly art prize this year… so… on Saturday morning (today actually).. he got up… not BECAUSE of that…. But because I had to let the dogs out… and he figured out how to connect up the internet.. which had crashed again.. well.. ok.. we asked Galia to help us.. whio is 9 months pregant.. she patiently explained… and.. bam it was up… he… like a ninja.. made his way to the site and went through the 100 strong list… first see if you can track the S’s .. Sid Sledge… .. is it alphabetical.. nothing.. it was not there… 5 perousals later… (it can be hard to see the obvious sometimes).. nothing... Sid.. does not panic.. he tries to be good about it.. see the bigger picture/s.. voices blasting at the same time in his head.. faith doubt and Sid… it’s all in there.. is that it then… is my emerging art career over before it starts… the ‘title emerging artist’.. kindly applies to the artist.. who is not yet ‘out there’.. been written about.. been celebrated.. may never be.. but the emerging thing gives it a sting… “well.. not yet.” it triumphantly gleams and allows you to go on… but I realise… the faith bit is still nice and strong… and this sweet failure allows me to continue exploring the cracks.. allows me to keep being the undercover dad-type-man who can go on being this adventurer… before the fuzzy blanket of acceptance… creeps in…
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