Have you ever seen someone, or read an email from someone, and without even knowing them just felt like they had bad intentions or a darkness around them?
And the other way around, ever meet someone and just feel like they are a really good person?
Yep - you can even tell sometimes by a person's eyes. I live in a pretty small town and a lot of people here are very unhappy. You can tell which ones are because they seem to like to gossip a lot and say bad things about others. You can just get that vibe from the ones who do this. The same with a person who has a kind heart and spirit. They have a sort of innocence about them.
Yea, i get the bad vibe feeling from a certain hubber, and its the only one ive come across on hubpages. I just feel like hes a really bad person. Just by his picture.
I once say an old man sitting on a bench when i was at a top light, and when i looked at him, he almost seemed angelic. He wasnt smiling or anything, but i just got a really good feeling about him looking at him.
I usually get an impression from people right away, and i havnt been wrong yet!
@Jaymelee I always say the eyes are the window to the soul. I totally believe you can tell a good person from a bad one by looking them square in the eyes.
You've got to be kidding, right? Many people I've come across in my life have given me a bad first impression...!! I'd really like to know why I've run into so many....
Not many online, though.
im not sure why your laughing, i was just curious to see if other people got that really bad vibe from someone without even knowing them. Not an impression really, but more of a really bad feeling like nothing they have said or anything, but just the feeling you get that makes you not want to run into them again. thata all.
Yeah....I've had that feeling, repeatedly, throughout my life, and it didn't stop until about 10 years ago when my life went numb..... therefore, sad maniacal laughter...
Yes, I have felt that feeling and in my world I have been correct. You just feel this bad vibe from the get go. Nothing said with no body language either, just a gut feeling I feel us more generally happy positive people feel. We sense the vibe.
When the time comes they actually speak and I listen, I say to myself immediately, I was right, dead on. Stay away.
yes, thats exactly what im talking about!
I want to address this on a few levels- I like the topic btw
1) what is your impression of me ;-)
2).......I think the people who are found innocent may have trouble noticing bad in others......sometimes?
3) I know someone who I like but occassionaly strikes me as tricky or bad
4) I can't always tell
5) gossiping is bad I agree...a sign of unhappiness- sometimes when I'm unhappy I complain
Oh yes! There were times in the past my husband would take me to meet a new friend he met from work. After a few minutes I would want to go! I told my husband he was bad news. My husband just laughed at me. Told me I wasn't around him long enough to know. After a couple months he wished he had listened to me. After that happened a couple times, he started listening.
You can feel it deep inside you.
In corporate world you'll come across many such people who gives negative vibes & you'll get used to it later. I also came across few people who are sweet,living happy life, not chasing money all time and are satisfied with what life is throwing at them. These type of people are rare today. If i come across any such- i regret being part of cunning corporate fake world- i prefer to live them alone.
So often people who work in law enforcement, telling other people how to kind of keep themselves a little safer from crime, will say people should trust their instincts about anyone who looks "off". I don't think instincts are always correct, by any means. We've all seen stories about smooth serial killers people trusted. Maybe what's "off" about someone isn't as extreme as being a serial killer. Still, I pretty much think we sense when someone is absolutely "harmless" or "regular" and when someone isn't. Of course, there is "off-and-harmful" and "off-but-harmless".
There's a book called 'The Gift of Fear' that explains the fact that even with serial killers who were trusted, there was initially an instinct to warn people but they shrug it off.
hey, we were on the same wave length about Gavin de Becker's book. I read it years ago when I started dating again, a friend recommended it to me. He teaches how to pay attention and what signals are more likely to be accurate. It's a fascinating, very informative book.
See, now i want to read that, but if i do, my hypochondria will kick into high gear, and ill be afraid of everyone! lol
no, not at all.it is very helpful, empowering. it's an innate signal, it doesn't come from thoughts, it comes from awareness. he teaches how to be more aware and how to trust your instincts. [think of a dog's shackles, they raise on their own, the dog doesn't do it. the dog becomes very alert.]
I do agree with earnest to a point. with his Hell's Angels example. but also certain groups or kinds of people are used to be stereotyped as being 'bad', they expect people to mistrust them.. even though they are nice people.
we see plenty of that right here in these forums.
Gavin de Becker did a wonderful service by writing that book. (thanks for the name! I couldn't remember it)
I was surprised to find out I could relate by an incident when I was 16 or so and I had done a tremendously stupid thing.
I walked home at around midnight after babysitting - 3/4 mile or so - and cut down a length of train tracks to get home quicker. (the babysitter was willing to call a cab, I refused it)
I sensed someone behind me, turned around and there was a man following me. I'm sure that because I turned around and saw him he ended up leaving the tracks, because when I got to the road and looked back again, he was gone.
I never told anyone, but my mom was PI$$ED at me for walking home! After that she came to pick me up.
The Gift of Fear - a good book to have and read.
the pink umbrella - I know your post is over three years old, but it came up in my search today because I am looking for understanding on how others handle the negativity. I liked your original questions - so I definitely want to reply. I am a devout Christian and have had this happen to me MULTIPLE times over the years with people I just meet. I have people that I met the first time and just KNEW they were good, decent, kind people. My one daughter-in-law is that way - first time I met her I just KNEW she was an angel. She walks into a room and a spirit of goodness and warmth enters the room even before she says one word. You can FEEL her coming, its such goodness. On the other hand, I also have people in I have met my life who have this negative spirit that surrounds them and you can also feel THEM coming before they get anywhere near you. The first time I met my husband's nephew and niece I had an uneasy feeling. Over the years, that feeling has gone away several times, but then there are those other times when the negativity is very unnerving. They have the same mother and are close with my husband and we can be sitting enjoying a lovely dinner or watching television, and I will get this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach and you can quarantee that within half an hour one of those two will either call him or drop by. If they drop by, the feeling that enters the home is so wicked it makes me want to vomit. I have actually had to push away dinner on occasion. The difficult part is that my husband does not feel it when it happens. He used to discount my feelings, but over time has come to trust it because when I get that feeling, it never fails within a day of my getting that feeling from these two, they cause some terrible trouble in the family that takes MONTHS to clean up. I am having to learn how to pay attention to the feeling as soon as it happens so that I can be more in tune with what happens. If you fine tune the ability, you can learn to use it for good. Hope you see this and that it helps.
i dont think its gender specific really, ive gotten bad feelings about both genders, not so often that its all the time or anything, but theres just those people that you meet that you dont want to meet again, you know?
I believe we women have a gut feeling and it's said to be always true.
I've had that gut feeling alot........I think it kept me out of trouble more than a few times and I was much younger then!
Absolutely! I always trust my instincts with people. If I meet some one I will know almost immediately if I should trust them or not. I am very rarely mistaken. I took an aptitude test once and they said that people with those kind of instincts make good police officers or HR directors.
definitely. everyone gives off vibes. even online.
I say pay attention to it from the very moment you feel it. people fool us once they start talking and our mind gets involved. we think, ah, this person is harmless..
I believe most of the "bad vibes" we get from others starts with our prejudices.
I think sometimes this may be true, but there are certainly times when paying attention to bad vibes can save someone's life. are you familiar with Gavin de Becker who wrote about survival instincts that protect us? he talks about this in depth and how it is generally our intuition sending us a signal. the book is 'Gift of Fear'. I highly recommend it.
https://www.gavindebecker.com/index.php … t_of_fear/
The problem with the gift of fear is the mechanism it has to pass through to become useful. Unfortunately it is on auto pilot for most of us, and the usual reactions are unreliable at best.
Foe example someone who uptakes masses of adrenalin when afraid, may hit overload, shake, lose blood from the brain and stand there unable to move. Another will use the adrenalin and react like greased lightning with the same inputs.
Well, thats kind of what your doing when you get those vibes, ernest, it is a pre judgement of whomever your in contact with at the moment. Thing is, i cant say that i feel bad judging someone before i know them, especially if i have the gut feeling that they are trouble. Ya know?
You think receiving bad vibes of a person is the same as pre-judging them?
I wouldn't think so...I think that kind of belief being shoved down my throat is what led me to not trust my own instincts about people.
I'd think pre-judging someone would mean coming to a conclusion about someone based on what you've heard from someone else, ya know? Forming an opinion based on someone else's beliefs. Not cool.
I don't agree. Thou that can be true for some.
I pay close attention to the bad vibes, especially when I can find no 'real' reason for them. Over the years, I have discovered that every person I have ever felt this way about has been accused, if not convicted or sexually abusing a child.
If I get an uneasy feeling, but can pinpoint why, then I am pretty sure it is a prejudice, as Earnest said, or a fear of the unknown.
Iworwen, I think you hit on a key point there about "no real reason".
I think some of the time some people (more than others) will get bad vibes because of ingrained prejudices or even just not knowing people like the "questionable person". The bad vibes for no apparent reason are the kind to err on the side of caution on.
All my adult life I've apparently been someone who gives off "safe vibes" or "untimidating vibes" or "regular person" vibes. So is my sister. The two of us joke about how we attact every lost child, stray animal, drunk, people with some "issue", and anyone else looking for help or a sense of being safe. Really. It's bad.
Having been such a magnet for so many "off-seeming" people, though, I have to say that very, very, few (no matter of strange or "off" they may have seemed) have given off those vibes that would make me think anything other than "harmless".
For me, it's always more been someone like a perfectly nice-seeming "family man" who moved in four houses down, or a perfectly attractive and upwardly mobile executive who was just hired at my company (that type of thing). (It's also been a few teen girls or may a mother at my kids' school at one time or another.)
thats amazing... about finding out the people are child abusers.
If it is offline, then I make sure I watch and listen to them, so as to gain the correct determination, aside from their appearance.
If it is online, then I pay very close attention to "way" the words are formed in the sentence structure they use, so as to determine honesty or dishonesty, before letting a feeling affect me.
thats just it though, i dont really get bad vibes from some people that kinda look rough, so its not their looks or appearance, its the feeling i get when introduced or whatever. Its not like an intelligent decision about the person, its like whammo, hit with a feeling that i cant ignore.
I would like to point out my personal experience dealing with the Hells Angels and other biker gangs for many many years, I got very few bad vibes from them as customers of my bike shops.
Who is really the originator of the bad vibe?
Maybe there was no reason for you to get bad vibes from them? Maybe you don't pick up bad vibes? The "bad vibes", I think, isn't so much about someone who openly associates himself with something a lot of people may think would be "bad". It's more subtle. Maybe "inconsistent vibe" would be a better description.
That's something like I've been thinking reading through the messages here.
I wouldnt know who the "originator" of the bad vibe is, but all i know is that i get good and bad vibes from others from time to time. And just because someone is in a biker gang, that doesnt make them a bad person, or an evil minded person. I know, hells angels and al, but bikes dont equal bad guys. Im sure you know that though from having them as patrons all those years.
I was trying to make the point that a lot of people make judgements which form a part of their belief system, and cause them to react from that belief.
I have learnt that there are as many good Hells Angels as their are good Corporate leaders and have dealt with both as customers and sometimes long term friends.
Ya should see who comes to my parties!
Haha, well im not a big judger of appearances. Thats not to say that i wouldnt feel uncomfortable in a Biker bar all by myself, haha.
I just give everyone at least a chance, but cant ignore my inner umbrella stabbing me in the brain telling me "no, theres something wrong with that person!!! im warnin ya!!!"
I actually ignored the feeling once, because i saw someone had dropped a huge bag of change, and went to help them pick it up. Yea, then i found out he stole the change, and all of a sudden he had pushed himself into my apartment, and was ordering spencer to help him go cash the change in. All i had to do was close the door and thank my instinct, but nooooooo, im too helpful for that!!!
Its no belief system being the reason for the feeling i get, and im not psychic or anything, so im pretty sure its just plain instinct magnified since ive had the baby. Now i have super human instinct!! lol.
Of course! Congratulations on having a child they are all wonderful.
Chemical balance changes. Protection, instinct, even suspicion comes in to play strongly and of course are all valid. I am a bit concerned about the intuition one. I always do a double take on intuition if I can, despite being an intuitive type. I find intuition sometimes hits the wrong circuit.
ha, id rather be wrong about a nice person then ignore my feelings on a bad person!! lol
I can think of one time when - really - I'm suspecting the intuition probably hit that wrong circuit. Oddly, it has to do with my being a mother (but 24 years after my "baby" was born ). My son and I were stranded late one super-cold, super-windy, Winter night when his car wouldn't start, his phone had a dead battery, and of the two times I've ever forgotten to bring my phone this was the one of them.
My son and I talked about whether the tow guy may offer to give us a ride home, and the tow guy was coming from on-call towing company; so we weren't sure. My son said the guy had been sullen on the phone. When he showed up he was really odd and scary looking. I wondered if he had some medical condition causing it. I felt really bad, but I was getting horrible "vibes". I just didn't want my son (taller than I am, of course) in that guy's truck. I wasn't really thinking about me. I just knew I didn't want my son in that truck. (I don't know - maybe I was sensing that the guy had been drinking or something, but it felt a lot scarier than that.)
I got the chance to say to my son, "If he asks if we need a ride please say, 'no'." My son knew why. Still, we didn't know how we'd get home.
I felt really, really, guilty and horrible for being this uncomfortable; but I just did not want my son in that truck. I would have rather walked. I still feel guilty about how absolutely dead-set against getting in that truck I was (and about how I didn't want my son going with him either, and maybe using the phone at home to send someone for me - or whatever). Never in my life have I been so uncomfortable, based only on looking at someone. I'll never know, but I pretty much think it was all a matter of the guy's being harmless (even if sullen and odd looking). At the time, though, it just felt like maternal instinct (and it surprised me that it was that strong when he was that old, and the guy was probably OK anyway).
Ironically, when the same son was two years old, and my car was hopelessly stuck in a flood area one Sunday morning, I actually accepted a ride from a strange couple who looked nice enough but drove their Trans Am around curvy, rural, roads at high-speed.; so I could use the phone at their house. (No cell phones then.) Where was the maternal instinct then, I wonder? Still, speeding or not, they seemed absolutely OK. )
If you think some one is dangerous and are careful around them what is the harm if you are wrong? If you ignore that feeling and are right that could be very harmful. I do not shun people who I have felt bad vibes from but I watch them. If the bad vibe was false then eventually they will vindicate themselves. I do not use prejudice against anyone. I judge each person on an individual basis.
er....like the "vibes" one gets in the religion forum? :-)
If it weren't for bad vibes, I wouldn't get no vibes at all!
but really lots of people give off bad vibes - they are very real and not hard to pick up on - there is a difference between basically good people in a bad mood vibes and really evil a**holes with rotten intentions vibes. I get mildly bad vibes from a couple people on HP, and then I am glad they won't ever meet me in real life - I think!
Most of the time people give off good vibes but sometimes ill or stressed vibes can put me off as much as evil vibes. I've had my share of bad experiences just by trying to help someone who is really a lost cause!
Me? I know sometimes I put off bad vibes - people just get right out of my way in crowded places sometimes! It can come in very handy!
The trick is in sensing which type of bad vibes you are sensing! From the benign I'm in a bad mood vibes which we all give out now and then..to the I'm a bit untrustworthy vibes when were or someone is up to no good or gossiping..and I'm about to mug you bad vibes!
Sometimes you cant quite put your finger on which type it is it but brushing aside is ignoring a vital sense, that good old 6th sense.
Essentialy agree Mega-my bad vibes come in v useful in the workplace!
Yeah once I went to school to get my CDL when on the first day of class I had to sit between two men in a row of seats. The man on the right was a black man from Kenya, very nice and gentlemanly. He pulled my seat out for me, but was very quiet and reserved. He was fine. The man on my left, a white man probably around 40 yrs old. Sat slumped in his seat not talking at all. His body language, just shouted, Don't talk to me.
About an hour later into the class time they said they had to do background checks on all of us and would be calling us out one by one to interview with a police detective. I went out as well as some others sporadically.
The whole time he, sat there almost brooding, very creepy. I kept my eye on him because he reminded me of someone you might think would all of the sudden pull out a machine gun and start mowing people down.
When it came to be his turn he went out in the hall and the police handcuffed him right there. He apparantly had some warrants out agains him.
Of course I didn't hear the police say what for, but the rumors where flying. Some said they heard the policeman say attempted murder. But you know how rumors are.
Anyway that was the worst vibe I ever felt with somebody. Every gut reaction in my body was telling me to get away from this guy.
Yep, wish we could actualy teach young women to pay attention to vibes more and not ignore them which probably comes with age/experience. Twice I ignored when I was v young and twice I was right-a mugging and a dangerours driver of a car i was in that crashed. Twice more happily I decided that running was a good idea so who knows if that was just an innocent missunderstanding.
My antennae were up this eve when walking home as a car sat at a junction way to long when there was no traffic then pulled up beside me-it was a lost tourist asking directions! Still I love that my sixth sense is alive and well
I'm getting BAD VIBES from the "Do You Exist? Prove it" thread - and I haven't even read what it says! oooh - goosebumps!
Too go there would be ill advised, you have been warned.
It's very silly ... I don't know why I keep going there ...
you exist! you exist! you sing, your feet even try to dance! that means you exist! Those religious zealots like to make you doubt yourself so they can put their propaganda into the space that came when you opened up to self-doubt! Now I understand my bad vibe feeling from there! oooo - must go wash hands.
tell me about it, someone has a serious esteem problem if they feel that they may not exist...then again, all of this could be a dream of someone in a psych ward. That would probably account for some of these hubbers..lol
Yes, and it is something you best pay attention to. I could save you a lot of heartachce or it could save your life.
You should always pay attention to the bad vibes you feel emanating from someone. I'm not into spiritual or paranormal stuff, but I believe in intuition and that you should normally listen to it, especially when it is in regards to your personal safety! If you're wrong, so what?
Perhaps it's just a combination of learned psychological responses to non-verbal cues. Women seem to have a better intuition (maternal instinct?) when it comes to danger, overall.
I've studied a lot of criminal justice and psychology and believe that predators can sense whether or not you can "read them". I don't think that everyone has the ability to detect people who wish them harm and this is exactly what predators prey upon.
I always trust my intuition and I'm certain that reacting to those "bad vibes" has saved me from some pretty awful experiences.
Intuition, on the other hand, I've had good luck with. Such as suddenly deciding to take an alternate route home and then, after arriving home, discovering there was an accident on the first route - which I may have been a part of had I gone that way.
that happened to me when i first started driving. I wanted to go get hair dye, and got in the car, but just got a bad feeling. I went back in, and my mom and i both attributed it to the fact that i was a new driver, but then we heard all theses sirens, and there had been a big accident at the 4 way stop right in front of the walgreens i was going to. Maybe a coincidance, but still, kinda glad i stayed home.
Yeah, that's an amazing feeling, isn't it? Intuition like that, I mean.
When it happened it wasnt amazing to me it was shocking and frightening! lol.
A couple of weeks ago my intuition or whatever you want to call it was way off.
I was in a store to pick up a few items, and while I was there a man was in the same aisle as me and I just said excuse me and walked on by.
I was in my own little world and went and payed for my stuff and left.
I went straight home. As I was getting out of my car that guy had followed my home, and said he thought I was nice looking and noticed I wasn't wearing a ring, so he thought he would ask me out.
I seldom wear my wedding ring because it is too big and I never got it sized. Anyway, I was mortified, this man just followed me home, he knows where I live. It was very scary to me.
I was polite and explained I was married and he went away, but still it spooked me. What if he thought I was lying and then was angry and not one to take rejection very well.
Wow, what a freaky dude to think it was ok to follow you home. I mean, if he really was just a nice guy who wanted your number, then he obviously dosnt care about how secure a woman needs to feel.
I wouldnt have taken te time to tell him i was married, i would have just pulled my key chain alarm and ran up to my door.
If i were you id be looking out the window ever 5 minutes, then again, im afraid of people like that.
If you dont have a security system, id def. get one now!
Oh we do have a security system. It makes me feel a little better. At least if anyone tries to get in I'll know about it.
I like it better when my husband is home.
Yeah I've been keeping my guard up since then just to be safe.
Now when I go out I pay attention to if someone is following me.
It is pretty bad, when a woman has to be so suspicious and defensive all the time.
Pink Umbrella - Right on the money!
Keep a lookout Diane, you didn't have to give him a reason at all!! Once you give a reason they keep looking for a loophole. If you hear from him again tell him NO without explanation, and don't give him any reason to contact you again. (check out the book RebekkahELLE and I mentioned if you haven't already- The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker)
Your right Rafini, my husband said the same thing, he was upset about that I spoke even a word to this man.
But at the time, I was trying to be polite and not defensive so as not to anger this man.
But your right, I'll keep that in mind.
you know what though, for all you know the fact that he thought your husband was inside stopped him from attackng you. Theres no real handbook for this stuff, but im definately going to get that book there talking about tommorw.
you will love the book and the author. you can find you tube videos of him speaking, he's been on numerous talk shows, etc. I even took notes while reading because it was so helpful. our problem is we don't pay attention, intuition is not off, it's how we respond to it that may be off. we don't listen to a doubt, or we want to be trusting when there's a nagging feeling telling us to leave.
the root word for intuition means 'to guard, protect.'
before reading the book I was much too trusting because I had been taught (religion) that doubt and fear are wrong. it's not wrong to listen to that 'fear' that says, turn around and walk fast.
a great line from the book,
"the human brain is never more efficient or invested than when its host is at risk." then he teaches what signals to pay attention to, how to separate the merely unusual from the significantly unusual.
One of the nice things about getting older and uglier is that the predators tend to ignore you! However, don't let them think you are rich! hehehe When I was young I got myself into some really tricky spots - but always managed to wiggle away - a couple times I was right scared! Now I've developed a way to GIVE bad vibes and those boogers leave me alone, you betcha! The worst of it for me was date rape in college - man, I sure did not know how to pick em!
Yea, my mom is a very attractive 46 year old and she gives her "dont f with me face" as she calls it.
ha ha, I need to learn to use that face, I'll work on it. I want one of those keychains, I'm going to look for one.
yea, i had gotten one before, but it used weird batteries that i couldnt locate, so when the dollar store one came not needing batteries i was so excited. The best thing about the keychain? it goes for two hours after you pull the stem, so what i would do i a situation is pull and throw the pin!
Mega my heart goes out to you. College experiences should be your happiest times. So sorry to hear this.
Funny about bad vibes - when they go out into the world (the vibes) they change not only people's perceptions, but also how the world will react to the sender of the vibes. I think sometimes people's thoughts and actions take on a life of their own, growing and causing things to happen. Good things, but also bad things. When I get bad vibes from someone I definitely am going to be careful around them, but I'm also going to watch out for what those bad vibes do in the world.
There's a hubber who regularly says things in forums and writes hubs that are really kind of mean and definitely destructive and they interact with people in such a destructive way, that I'm often surprised they are still here and haven't been banned. I'm surprised only a couple others have seemed to notice. The very first day I came into the forums I noticed this hubber and had terrific bad vibes from them . . . I keep thinking I'll hear about some terrible thing they've done in the outside world - but maybe just the nasty stuff they put out here is the extent of their evil. Hope so. But how would I really know? I have to trust the vibes on this one.
I hear you on that one. but people perceive things differently. it's easy to get fooled online.
some people just like to hear their own voice too much.. a lot of hot air. I try to avoid the ones here that give off bad vibes and never read their hubs. I have no interest.
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