A christian got himself lost in a storm on his way home from the pub.
In the dark and the driving rain and the howling wind he missed the road and fell off a cliff. About forty feet down with another 200 feet to go onto jagged rocks he managed to grab a thin tree root and hang on.
He started to scream out help! help! Then out of the storm a great booming voice rose above the noise of the wind and the rain saying "let go my son and trust in me", after a moment of silence the voice boomed out even louder "let go my son and trust in me!"
I don't know get, it couldn't turn out well showing up in heaven with a hangover. I doubt that yelling at St Peter to take it just a little easy on the trumpet blowing would get you a house in the good neighborhood.
Always looking for a good joke to share, thx. Here's a couple for you.
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." Somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS" and in a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
Stupid Moments in History
The professor asked Barbara, a blonde in her fourth year as a Southern Wesleyan University freshman, if she knew what Roe v. Wade was about.
Barbara pondered the question, then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
It's the second resurection of Christ. Before the world ends he wants to take in some fishing. So he gets his friend Moses and they head up to Minnesota to fish. They are about to rent a canoe when Moses says: "Jesus, can't you still walk on water? Why not just walk out there?" So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps onto the lake....and falls knee deep in water.
Moses says, "Well....maybe you need a head start or something, why not go to the end of the dock and try."
So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps off the end of the dock and falls up to his waist.
Moses says, " Well why not rent the boat, go out to the center of the lake and try there."
So they rent the boat and go to the middle of the lake, Jesus is about to step off and try again when...
Moses says, "Wait. Just to be safe, why not get yourself into the state of mind you were in the first time you did it."
So Jesus sets down, meditates for a few minutes, and finally he's all psyched up, and steps out of the canoe.... ..and precedes to drown. So Moses does the water parting thing, and pulls Jesus up into the boat. Jesus is just beating himself up over this. He just doesn't see what's going wrong here. Moses just stares down at the bottom of the boat. Suddenly, Moses says, "I got it! I know what's wrong! Did you have those holes in your feet last time?
There were these two nuns riding their bicycles through the backstreets of Rome when the sister following the other exclaimed "I've never come this way before!". The nun in front yelled back, "It's the cobblestones!".
A Christian should believe the same Creator-God whom Jesus used to believe and worship and it was the same whom Moses used to believe in and worship; Jesus used to address Him as per the usage of OT by the metaphoric name God-the-Father.
I just read a post from someone stating that Christianity is based on the Bible which stands to reason, "If Christianity is based off the bible then that means it would have never come to furition since the book...
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