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The End is Near

  1. profile image0
    SirDentposted 5 years ago

    Two pastors were standing on a curve in the road with two signs. The first one said, "Turn around now."  The second one said, "The end is near."

    A man came upon them and shouted at them, "Why don't you all leave us alone you religious nuts."

    After the car went on around the turn they heard  screeching tires and a big crash.  The first one said to the other one,  "You think we should have just made a sign saying BRIDGE OUT!! instead?"

    1. Pandoras Box profile image82
      Pandoras Boxposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Haha! Glad to see it was just a joke, Dent, and a funny one at that. Thought you'd really gone over the edge when I saw the title, was expecting gloom and doom and calls to repent. Happy to see you're still relatively sane.

      1. profile image0
        Baileybearposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        yeah, same here - good joke

    2. carolinemoon profile image60
      carolinemoonposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      LOL

    3. Dave Mathews profile image61
      Dave Mathewsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      It is good for others to see that we christians have a sense of humor, especially when most find us boring religious zealots.

    4. profile image0
      CollBposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      That was really funny!

      A humorous stance from a religious viewpoint...haha.  I was expecting some religious explanation about armageddon!

    5. Woman Of Courage profile image61
      Woman Of Courageposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Good humor SirDent. smile

  2. profile image0
    just_curiousposted 5 years ago

    lol Good one Sir Dent.

  3. earnestshub profile image88
    earnestshubposted 5 years ago

    Funny! Reminds me of a few other jokes, but they may not be suitable here. smile

  4. profile image0
    SirDentposted 5 years ago

    Someone sent me that in an eamil a while back.  I thought it might be good to post here with all the intense threads there are.

    1. earnestshub profile image88
      earnestshubposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Good thinking! smile

  5. wizbitz profile image59
    wizbitzposted 5 years ago

    Yes, they should have put "Bridge out" lol

  6. profile image69
    paarsurreyposted 5 years ago

    The End is Near

    With the advent of the Promised Messiah 1835-1908, the End has already happened; a new era has since ushered in.

  7. IGiveInformation profile image66
    IGiveInformationposted 5 years ago

    Lol I liked that one.

  8. profile image69
    paarsurreyposted 5 years ago

    Yes, it is

  9. aka-dj profile image78
    aka-djposted 5 years ago

    Perhaps there should be more like it.
    I'll keep my eyes open for some other funny stuff too.

  10. profile image69
    paarsurreyposted 5 years ago

    welcome; have a free will and a nice day

  11. profile image0
    SirDentposted 5 years ago

    I am glad everyone enjoyed this.  paar should read the opening post before commenting though.  It seems he missed what the OP is about.

  12. getitrite profile image80
    getitriteposted 5 years ago

    Man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
    God: It is but a penny.
    Man: God, how long is a million years to you?
    God: It is but a second.
    Man: God, could you please give me a penny?
    God: Sure, just a second.

    1. earnestshub profile image88
      earnestshubposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      lol lol lol

    2. profile image0
      Twenty One Daysposted 5 years ago

      A Rabbi & A Priest were close friends.
      Each Month the Priest would invite the Rabbi to Atlantic City for a day of gambling. The Rabbi always refused.
      One day, the Priest called, very exited, he had won a large amount of money and bought a shiny, red, sports car. He invited his friend for a ride. The Rabbi accepted.
      They drove off -- wind in their hair. As they approached a curve, the car spun out of control, flipped and threw them both fifty feet.  The Priest looked over at the Rabbi, half out of it and saw him make the "sign of the cross". Weeks later, they were talking over lunch about the accident and the Priest could not help but ask, "Rabbi, after the accident, I looked over and swore I saw you make the "sign of the cross". The Rabbi laughed. "I did no such thing." The Priest insisted and asked what he was doing then. "Looking", said the Rabbi. "For what?", griped the Priest:

      Spectacles, Testicles, Vallet, Vatch... oye!

    3. Disappearinghead profile image88
      Disappearingheadposted 5 years ago via iphone

      Dara O'Briain on mixed marriages. Brilliant

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0thRUS1wUw

      1. profile image0
        Twenty One Daysposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
        he is awesome.
        Just pictured a group of Catholics with oxygen tanks at a protestant revival meeting!

    4. aka-dj profile image78
      aka-djposted 5 years ago

      A young boy asks his minister, "will I go to Heaven if I am a good boy at home and at school"?
      No, the minister said
      "What about if I get rich and give lots of money to charities"?
      No, the minister said
      "How about if I become a Missionary to some tribes in the jungle"?
      No, the minister said
      "What if I give myself to serve the poor"?
      No, the minister said
      Becoming quite frustrated, the boy asks, "So, what DO I have to do to get to Heaven"?





      Die. Said the minister.

    5. profile image0
      jomineposted 5 years ago

      big_smile big_smile

    6. profile image0
      SirDentposted 5 years ago

      A Rabbi went to the barber shop. After his hair cut, he got ready to pay the barber and the barber said, "No Rabbi, I don't charge the clergy for haircuts." So the next morning the barber found a loaf of Jewish rye bread outside of his door step.
             
            A couple of days past and a Catholic priest came in to get his hair cut. He got ready to pay and the barber said, "No Father, I don't charge the clergy for hair cuts." So the next morning he found a bottle of wine outside his front door step.
             
            A couple of days later the Baptist preacher came in to get his hair cut and when he got ready to pay the barber said, "No Reverend, I don't charge the clergy for their hair cuts." So the next morning, the barber found 15 Baptist preachers on his doorstep, ready to get their hair cut!

      http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Pastors/

    7. profile image0
      SirDentposted 5 years ago

      hree pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, "Let's confess our secret sins one to another. I'll start - my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it's cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring."
             
            The second pastor said, "My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors."
             
            The third pastor said, "My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can't wait to get out of this room!"

      http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Pastors/

    8. optimus grimlock profile image61
      optimus grimlockposted 5 years ago

      awesome

     
    working