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10 facts that prove i'm god.

  1. Evan G Rogers profile image81
    Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago

    1) the other day, some dude called me god.

    2) when some guy yelled "Jesus Christ", I looked around.

    3) The other day, I created a universe. Don't believe me? Come on over and see it.

    4) God created man in his own image, and I just noticed that a LOT of people look similar to me.

    5) According to that guy over there, he thinks I'm god. G'head and ask him.

    6) Those people who say that I'm not god are all terrorist who are just using the fear of hell to sway you from believing in Me.

    7) I got mad at some lady who ate an apple the other day.

    8) I created time the other day: the clock said 8:43, but I knew it was really 8:45. So I changed it.

    9) All the people who wrote the bible aren't alive any more, but if you were to go back in time and ask them, they'd say that I was god. How do I know? BECAUSE I'M GOD AND I DID ASK THEM!! SUCK IT

    10) Last night, when I was banging 30 prostitutes, they kept yelling "oh god... oh god".


    G'NIGHT EVERY BODY!!!

    1. profile image0
      Texasbetaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Evan's personality is so magnetic, he can't carry credit cards.

    2. Druid Dude profile image59
      Druid Dudeposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      You can't be God, because I'm his son, and YOU don't look anything like him....wait a minute! Mom. Could I talk to you alone? (1 hr. pause) What? No! The milk man? Hey, Evan...you ever been a milk man?

      1. Evan G Rogers profile image81
        Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        LOOK UPON ME AND KNOW THE TRUTH, MY SON.

        1. Castlepaloma profile image25
          Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          This dude is too space out to handle the truth.

          I'm your real Father

          1. Evan G Rogers profile image81
            Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            I AM MY OWN FATHER, AND THE LIGHT, AND THE DARKNESS!!

            1. earnestshub profile image87
              earnestshubposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              I know! I can tell by the CAPS that every word is true! smile

              1. Castlepaloma profile image25
                Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                I travel so much, I think I found his Mother in a bar, washing her sins away, YES, maybe, I think maybe. I’m just an earthling …father,

                How could you know, can GOD see from living in the DARK all the time
                Please forgive, me, please (gulp) no no don’t kill… no no please (cry cry) don’t kill…meeee

  2. John Holden profile image59
    John Holdenposted 6 years ago

    lol lol lol

  3. Doug Hughes profile image61
    Doug Hughesposted 6 years ago

    Not only that - when Evan is on this side of the pool and his drink is on that side of the pool, he walks straight across to get it. Impressive to see.

  4. Cagsil profile image62
    Cagsilposted 6 years ago

    lol lol lol

    1. Castlepaloma profile image25
      Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Last night, you banged 30 prostitutes

      God or no God I would get that checked out

      I think everybody is God, with you on that..

  5. profile image0
    Emile Rposted 6 years ago

    Oh my god.  Or should I say oh my Evan?  I've been searching for you all my life.  Not to point out the obvious, but I thought you'd be taller.

    1. Evan G Rogers profile image81
      Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol

  6. thisisoli profile image56
    thisisoliposted 6 years ago

    This is actually not a bad idea, but I think you should expand it a little.

    ie.

    for the argument made by all those people who do not read books (science cannot explain how life arose)

    7) Science cannot explain how life arose to the lazy and/or illiterate - Therefore it must have been me who created all life on earth.

    1. Castlepaloma profile image25
      Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Oh Evan!!! My God and heavens to betsy heavens too

      I will following you everywhere you go, follow every word you say, praise every fart you make, live by every move you make.
         
      What? you want me to f*** Off. How do you want me to f*** off, slave master.

      1. Evan G Rogers profile image81
        Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        WITH THOUEST THUMB!

        1. Castlepaloma profile image25
          Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          OwwwwccCH, YES GOD your the best

  7. mrpopo profile image87
    mrpopoposted 6 years ago

    *begins worshiping Evan*

    I have already sacrificed a goat and burnt a Harry Potter book in your name. The shrine is still in construction.

    1. Castlepaloma profile image25
      Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I hope you ate the goat or else, how mid evil of you

    2. Evan G Rogers profile image81
      Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I AM PLEASED!!!

  8. Spirit Whisperer profile image81
    Spirit Whispererposted 6 years ago

    Very Go od!

  9. American View profile image59
    American Viewposted 6 years ago

    You banged 30 prostitutes last night, you are a God

  10. American View profile image59
    American Viewposted 6 years ago

    We're not worthy!

  11. earnestshub profile image87
    earnestshubposted 6 years ago

    I didn't know you were god, I would have been suckier if I knew that before! smile

  12. Evan G Rogers profile image81
    Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago

    a few quick points about this post that I wanted to explain---

    1) I'm making fun of that "10 facts that prove osama isn't dead" forum.

    2) I really don't think i'm god.

    3) I INTENTIONALLY kept "i'm" lower case in the title to be ironic.

    4) I love the responses. This is hilarious.

    1. earnestshub profile image87
      earnestshubposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Your not really god??????????????????????????????????????????????????

      I just burned a whole library!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. mrpopo profile image87
      mrpopoposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Surely this is a test, o Lord of the Heavens. I am in the process of making a large wooden vessel and bringing 2 of each animal on board, in accordance to your threats of a "big-ass flood".

      1. Castlepaloma profile image25
        Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Yes, another test of our faith, we can't manage to run our  lives on our own, EVER.

        I thought it was red dragon burning up the earth this time, I never know where the word of GOD is coming from, I think I AM GOING INSANE it's really colourful like Jerami said it would be.

  13. earnestshub profile image87
    earnestshubposted 6 years ago

    Hey god! You know all that stuff I said about you? I was joking right? smile

    1. Evan G Rogers profile image81
      Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I KNOW ALL

  14. Ron Montgomery profile image59
    Ron Montgomeryposted 6 years ago

    http://www.canmag.com/images/front/movies20073/evanalmightyposter1.jpg

    1. Evan G Rogers profile image81
      Evan G Rogersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      rofl

  15. dafreesan profile image79
    dafreesanposted 6 years ago

    oh god, now i'll believe in god!

  16. AnnCee profile image76
    AnnCeeposted 6 years ago

    http://www.berro.com/_images_3/tweety%20funny%20prayer.jpg

 
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