I go through the five stages of grieving.
They may be a little out of order, but these are the stages of acceptance. When a family member or close friend dies, these stages are common place. Some individuals can be trapped in one stage or another, for more time than is deemed as healthy.
Hope it's not the strangest answer , but from the few I have experienced , it made we quickly become the person that I am .
Whatever I know that I can possibly be sorry for I do those things which I know could eliminate that feeling.
It's possible different with other people because the exhibit a range of reasons why the get that way.
If you're asking how I personally deal with sorrow, it depends on the case. Anger seemed to be the longest held emotion when my brother died. Others have started with sadness and sympathy for the living and disbelief.
But actually dealing with it for me usually involves a lot of talking to myself out loud and rearranging the universe to fit my view of the situation. I think they call it justification for why or how this happened. Time tempers me and sometimes it feels selfish to be happy.
It depends on the situation. I usually try to find a positive outlook on things. Sometimes a little sarcasm helps a situation.
If its a death I have been blessed with a feeling that a person who has passed on is not actually gone. It is if they have moved away and we dont stay in contact anymore. I remember the good memories about the person.
It helps me to not focus my attention on the negitive things but keep a positive attitude towards anything. Something good will come from the bad things. It happens for a reason.
The most important thing I've learned to NOT do, is to deny those feelings of sorrow, sadness, etc. I think it's best to FEEL something, anything, for a time. It is normal, human nature, to react to situations and ignoring our emotions only results in them coming back to you later ten fold. So allow yourself a good time period to cry, to be angry, and to just accept what this is. (and it will probably suck)
Just make sure you don't neglect your physical self. Remember to eat, to rest, to bathe, (yea, sometimes we get so sorrowful we don't do that stuff) It also helps to have someone else in your life to hold you accountable to yourself. After enough time has passed, take steps to move forward. Baby steps are okay. Test yourself by watching a funny movie or reading humorous articles. When you begin to laugh again, even a slight a giggle, then this is proof that it is time, and it is okay to move forward.
The next step for me is to start talking about it aloud. If I don't have one person I feel comfortable talking to, then I write it down. If I'm still dealing with anger, I'll find another outlet such as painting, but any activity you enjoy or something physical you can focus that energy on will be helpful. Clean your house, tackle a big task like cleaning out the garage, rearrange your furniture in your house... Projects that are born from our overload of emotions get done faster and the result is something that will surprise you, and you will feel good to have a finished product to look at when you are done.
There is a process to emotional healing. I've been there numerous times and these steps aren't just a technique, it's just an outline to a normal healing process. For me, it helps to see a little a progress everyday in myself. It shows me that I'm on the road to feeling better again. No rush, I just let it happen as it is supposed to.
I know it is a long answer, but I do hope it is helpful in some way. I wish you all the best in dealing with your sorrow or maybe helping another .......
With out knowing the situation it is a little hard to know what to say other then to tell you I will not be the one pushing you. Some one posted a list but I always start with acceptance and work towards number one on that list. I figure out what is in my control and what is not and deal with what is. I decide what God has to do with it and what part does free will have to do with it. In all situations the World has to meet you half way and you have to meet it there. If no situation allows for this to happen then it is likely not your problem and regardless of your feelings there is only your life to play in it. Your life is the picture you leave perhaps unseen and unnoticed but the personal record of how you truly felt at the time. This record is what I do not forget in order to never repeat the mistake I made in trusting a liar or facing the truth later. If I see my life pass in front of my eyes this is the truth of what I will see and what others will see as well. When it is my mistake I take care of it but in dealing with the selfishness of others or things out of my control I can only suffer and learn from it. We are all on Earth judging ourselves and watching others judge themselves is often a lonely place to be. Sometimes we are only searching for the place we should be and becoming who we must be. You our never alone and no one can really help you at the same time but I am still here. Pain is not a contest anyone wants to win but I have experienced a lot in my life time.
With any sort of sorrow you have to let yourself feel it. You need to embraced it, let it take control, grieve when you feel sorrow,weep,scream,yell,sob,curse, let your raw emotions flow for as long as it takes. If not you will remain in the dark with that sorrow eating you up inside, let it out so that you are not paralyzed by it..
Within a 10 months time I lost 4 people I loved dearly, my dad, my brother-in-law, a grandmother and my mom. I remember after losing my mom, who was my best friend, of being so overcome with sorrow, being fragile from past hurts, but I embraced the feelings, the sadness, the loss, the pain deep inside.I was not ashamed if things I would remember caused a tear to run down my cheek,or if someone saying a certain phrase made me sad, I let the sorrow ebb and flow, yes it took me a awhile to start to feel like I would be ok. But looking back I know it made me the strong person I am .
well...there are several stages...and sometimes it feels like the grief gets bigger as time goes by....one step at a time...baby steps...you may find bits of piece by being 'in the moment'
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