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If I wanted to grow in the bible, I'd eat the pages

  1. mischeviousme profile image60
    mischeviousmeposted 5 years ago

    I'm not an atheist and am a former Christian, while I still have a personal God, it was nothing no other person could convey.

    Somebody once said they were trying to help me grow in Jesus Christ. I said "Get me a bible and some catsup, I'm ready to eat".

    1. LewSethics profile image61
      LewSethicsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Did it turn into holy shit?

      1. LewSethics profile image61
        LewSethicsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        hey!  my poop word was censored!!

    2. LewSethics profile image61
      LewSethicsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I tried it with the Tao Te Ching, but I just wanted more an hour later.

    3. Jason Marovich profile image87
      Jason Marovichposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I once had a teacher take a Bible and throw it on the floor before his podium.  He was a progressive man, and as the other students and I sat there aghast, he told us, "That physical book is just that, a physical book.  No matter what anyone does to it, the words will still endure."

      I've always treated Bibles with respect, I just feel wrong doing otherwise.  But, the teacher made a good point.  We don't want to turn physical objects into icons, no matter how religious those items might seem.

      1. Paul Wingert profile image78
        Paul Wingertposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I have two bibles that are family heirlooms with family records and such. Any other bible goes into the trash or burn bin in my household.

  2. TheMagician profile image94
    TheMagicianposted 5 years ago

    Eat the pages? Hmm.
    I have a good friend who's a huge stoner and a Christian (half Jewish, however that works) and he likes to use the pages as rolling papers. Makes him feel holy lol

    1. mischeviousme profile image60
      mischeviousmeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I did the same thing in college, I was too lazy to buy a pipe and bibles are cheaper than papers.

      1. jonnycomelately profile image87
        jonnycomelatelyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Holy Smoke!

      2. Disappearinghead profile image87
        Disappearingheadposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I guess that had you used pages from the Quran you might have lost your head!

  3. mischeviousme profile image60
    mischeviousmeposted 5 years ago

    I wrote this to get at the christians, it's so easy for them to piss on the beliefs of others, I figured I'd do the same for a while. See if they had anything to defend themselve's with, since their always on the attack.

    1. BLACKANDGOLDJACK profile image84
      BLACKANDGOLDJACKposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      mischieviousme, I suggest you take a big bite out of the 10 commandments. You know, those stone tablets.

      The commandment you need to eat the most is "Thou shalt not act the fool." If that one's missing when they find those tablets, perhaps you won't end up burning in the lake of fire after all. Although I suspect you have also violated most of the other commandments.

      Incidentally, are you still an archiologist? Dagnabbit, my foot still hurts.

      1. mischeviousme profile image60
        mischeviousmeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        My spelling is not the issue.
        Christians are supposed to be humble, are they not? Yet they attack another's belief with threats of damnation and hell fire. It's all baloney anyway, a figment of our imagination as is conveyed by our brain.

        1. LewSethics profile image61
          LewSethicsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          watch it misme, that lake of fire sounds dangerous

    2. Eric Newland profile image61
      Eric Newlandposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Defend against what, exactly? Are we supposed to come up with well documented reasons why eating a book is stupid? Do we really need to? How did you even get "eat a Bible" out of "grow in the Bible" anyway? I'm confused.

      P.S. You guys left off an obvious "holy roller" joke with that stoner comment. You also could have referenced those people who think that the biblical God and weed are literally the same thing. I'm more offended by your lackadaisical humor than your blasphemy.

    3. Disappearinghead profile image87
      Disappearingheadposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Oh burn your bra!!

 
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