Another good method is to rant angrily and sarcastically in an attempt to appeal to the natural rebellious anti-establishment mentality of (generally) young people who think that doing the exact opposite of what their parents did counts as thinking independently.
We need the establishment, it keeps the crazies off the streets. Oh wait, their on every corner, trying to save souls from damnation. Preaching gloom and doom, spewing prophecies of end times and hellfire.
You said, "but what really works is daily waterboarding." LOL!
Per Wikipedia: "Waterboarding is a form of torture in which water is poured over the face of an immobilized captive, thus causing the individual to experience the sensation of drowning. Waterboarding can cause extreme pain, dry drowning, damage to lungs, brain damage from oxygen deprivation, other physical injuries including broken bones due to struggling against restraints, lasting psychological damage and death." Holy flying fecal fling outs!
All of that is required, just to teach people to act less like wild, untamed animals, oops, I mean heathens?