Social Networks and Faith: MySpace and Jesus: What constitutes a denial or faith?

Jesus & MySpace: BFF???

Jesus!!!
Jesus!!!
MySpace!!!
MySpace!!!

"Don't read if you're under 13. This may make you sick"

*The following is a repost of a bulletin being forwarded all around MySpace not too long ago. It was under the title above (the "don't read if you're under 13..."). These posts normally just annoy me, but this one seemed so silly I couldn't help myself but respond to it. So below are the answers the questions from my, slightly different, perspective. The Italics are mine, all other type is the original bulletin:

(I would like to say up front that it is not my intent to offend anyone, rather this piece is intended to be humorous yet honest.  This type of spamming is dogma, pure and simple, and it is the responsibility of all of us to call it out.)

Q1: Why do we sleep in church but...when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?

A1: We don't believe the guy up there is telling something relevant or true anymore than he does, which is why he is at his third fellowship in six years and is preaching the same sermon to us he did to the past two.

Q2: Why is it so hard to talk about God but so easy to talk about sex?

A2: The closest any of us have ever been to heaven is during sex for one, and secondly, no one has ever seen God or talked to him, so it makes talking about him rather vague at best. Of course a lot of people who talk about sex have never had it either, but at least we have pictures to show us what we are missing when it comes to procreation.

Q3: Why are we so bored when we look at a Christian magazine....but find it easy to read Playboy?

A3: See the answer to question two coupled with the fact most of us got tired of being preached at during church anyways (remember we tend to sleep there). Maybe if Christian magazines could show more pictures of God we would look as long as we do at Playboy.

Q4: Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly myspace message...yet we repost the nasty ones?

A4: There are several reasons, the most obvious is it seems a much greater percentage of the human faculty for creativity is dedicated to the production of nasty ones. The impetus behind Godly message is not often creative, but rather dogmatic, this just makes for more boring reading, and for some reason us humans like laughter almost more than anything, as if something made us that way. If say there were a lot more funny, clever and witty ways to tell someone they were going to spend forever in heaven with Jesus rather than to fuck themselves, you might find a resurgence in interest on MySpace for Godly messages and the reposting we normally associate with ungodly ones.

Q5: Why are churches getting smaller...but bars and clubs are growing??

A5: This question is just ridiculous. Does anyone honestly think there are more places/ways to get messed up now than in the past? Church size fluctuates depending on any number of things at both the micro and macro level. But lets pretend this question deserves being asked, maybe the answer lies in the fact that people can actually be themselves at a bar, and for some reason genuineness appeals to them.

Q6: Think about it...are you going to repost this or ignore it because you think you'll get laughed at?

A6: If the only thing that happens is people laughing, I'll be happy, but most likely worse things will happen, and no I'm not afraid of what people think of me.


Just remember God is always watching you.

Repost this "don't read if you're under 13. this may make you sick"

80 % of u wont repost this.

.01% of u will repost this in a manner that makes God end-of-the-world angry.


The Lord said, "Deny me before man and I shall deny you..."

--I would just like to point out when Jesus said this, he had not yet signed up for MySpace, and so the technicalities of whether or not "reposting" (or not reposting) a MySpace bulletin was in fact a confession or denial of faith were unclear. I think, therefore, it is a matter of personal faith when deciding if reposting qualifies as a confession or denial of faith. This scriptural postscript feels almost threatening to me, like, "or else" and the scare tactics associated with that sort of thinking seem a little more at home in a church than a bar or club too, now that I think about it.

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orygun profile image

orygun 7 years ago from Portland, OR

I'm glad someone posted something like this! Those "forwards" on MySpace and other networking sites are just ridiculous. It makes you wonder what motivation really lies behind the author's ranting.

Great humorous post, cdub.

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