My Spiritual Experience...

I would like to say, before I get into this story, that it is very personal to me and definitely an experience I will not forget. In the past, I've been very choosy about who I shared this with making sure it was someone I trusted and understood. I realize some people do not understand these types of things and are critical and skeptical. I just want readers to know I am not one to make things up and I have to really have to believe in something if I'm going to take the time to write about it. When this happened to me I was 17 years old and I was completely sober and drug free with no kind of disorder that would cause delusions or hallucinations. Depressed I was but delusional or having hallucinations, no. I have put a lot of details about myself in here that I don't share with just anybody but I feel like I really need to share these things because it is part of the story. I'm grateful to be able to share this with others who understand but for those who don't, all I ask is that you try to read with an open mind. Thats all. :0)

All my life I've been a emotionally sensitive type and extremely full of guilt and fear and I don't know why. I didn't have the best childhood (as many of us don't) so maybe this had a part, I really don't know. My teenage years were very difficult as I was in a lot of emotional pain. I was plagued with extreme insecurity and a horrible problem with jealousy when it came to boyfriends and an underlying rage that just ate at me. I had so much self-hatred I would even do things like cut on myself and bang my head on walls while in a crying rage. My boyfriend at the time had cheated on me. The fights we would get into way exceeded screaming and yelling. My jealousy and rage drove me into physical confrontations with him where he had to hold me down and it always ended up with me completely exhausted and asking myself over and over why am I not good enough for him? I had always had very low self-esteem and a terribly distorted body image. It's a shame looking back as hind sight is 20/20 and there was nothing wrong with me but you would have never been able to convince me of that back then.

It was during the fall years ago. I was sitting on my bedroom floor talking to my boyfriend over the phone. The subject of the conversation was about him cheating on me of course and I remember just asking him why did he do it and I remember feeling sick because my insides were churning. This emotional pain was worse than any pain I've had in my life even to this day. This war with myself and this self-hatred, jealousy and rage that I had within me just kept me in a state of unbearable misery.

With tears streaming down my face as I'm on the phone with him, not knowing to this day if I actually said it or thought it but God Please Help Me came to my mind. As these words came I looked up to the left upper corner of my room where the wall meets the ceiling and I see a whitish gray mist and it comes to me, surrounds me so that is all I can see and then it goes through me. I can't even tell you the measure of time. It seemed that instantly my pain was gone having been sucked out of me- like a vacuum cleaner sucks things off the carpet. I know that sounds odd but that is the only thing that I can compare it to. Every single negative emotion that I was feeling at that moment were pulled or sucked out of me and what remained was a calmness that I had never felt in my entire life. I was still crying but instead of tears of pain it was tears of joy. I hung up with my boyfriend and quickly found my bible for I knew this had to be of God. I even tried to re-feel the anger and self-hate but I couldn't. It just wasn't there anymore.The main thing that I felt was just being at peace with myself and everything around me and this eternal love that connects each and everyone of us though many don't know. This feeling of peace and serenity stayed with me for a little while but eventually left. The miracle is that I've never had those horrible issues with myself since- at least not to the degree I had them then. The rage has never returned since that day. I'm 37 now and remember this experience as if it had happened just yesterday. I know with all my being that what happened was real.

What exactly was it? I don't know for sure but I know it was something very powerful and loving. It had something to do with God and His love not just for me but for all of us. Whatever it was it saved from the torment that I lived with day in and day out. I prefer to think it was something like the Holy Spirit that swept right through me and forced all of those destructive emotions out of me. It was a miracle for sure and it changed my life. Don't get me wrong, I've had some pretty bad times since then but nothing compared to that torture inside me at 17 years old. Sometimes now when I feel disconnected from God I think about what happened to me in my bedroom that day and I know He's there. I might not always feel him but He is there. Always has been and always will be.

More by this Author


Comments 68 comments

Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 3 years ago from Texas Author

qlcoach- Your are welcome for the comment :) Thank you for dropping by to read about my experience.


qlcoach profile image

qlcoach 3 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

Yes to the healing power of the Love-Light. Thanks for your comments about my Hub: My Purple Flame. I think positive beliefs always heal. Sorry I took so long to respond. I took some time off. Peace and Light...Gary.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 3 years ago from Texas Author

epigramman- Thank you for visiting and reading about my experience and also for sharing about your experience of being visited by your mum. There is no doubt in my mind that these type things happen. I know it must bring you much peace and comfort to know she is still with you in spirit. Thank you for the well wishes and your encouraging words. I wish you a wonderful 2013 and many more :)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Good evening Jamie from lake erie time ontario canada and yes that is quite a story - whether it's luck, fate, karma, a spiritual sign or an act of God - I would say we have all shared something like this with different experiences - for me , in the last 2 years I have been visited 6 times hy my mum who passed away back in 2004 and she moves things around so I can see them. In my family cottage where I live alone now - only two other people ever lived here when it was a summer cottage and that was my mum and dad since it was built in 1956.

I am sending warm wishes and good energy to you for your continued good health, happiness and prosperity in 2013.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 3 years ago from Texas Author

Christina- That is awesome! I am so happy that I shared about my experience here :) I never knew it would touch others in quite that way. I have had that tingly feeling you are speaking of and I believe it's God letting me know he is still with me. Wow.. thank you so much for sharing that with me :)


Christina 3 years ago

Thank you for sharing. Your story took me back to an unpleasant time in my past which I have recently healed. When I read your story - particularly the part about the mist, a tingly feeling swept my entire body for about 15 seconds and as I continued reading you described how I felt. Smiling with gratitude now that your story activated this liberating sensation. Love and Light Christina


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

sroo- Yeah, it wasn't really a common thing for people to cut on themselves when I was younger. I do hear about it a lot these days. It's sad to hear that it's in fashion or the cool thing to do. I was hurting really bad when I did that.. it was strange because I almost wanted for people to see those cuts on me but if someone actually noticed, I would get terribly embarrassed. I'm just so glad all of that pain is over... those years were not easy at all. I don't know how I survived high school or the next 10 years after that for that matter.. LOL! Anyway, thank you for dropping by to read about my experience :)


sroo profile image

sroo 4 years ago from Eastern Shore, Maryland

" like cut on myself and bang my head on walls while in a crying rage"

Aw, that's horrible! It must have been worse when you were a kid, self-harm isn't nearly as taboo these days. It's practically part of the fashion scene, as weird as that is.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Efficient Admin- Wow, the water truly cleansed away all those negative emotions from you.. Thank you for sharing your experience and I definitely believe you. It feels good to truly KNOW that God is present with us, doesn't it? I still seem to forget sometimes even after that powerful experience.


Efficient Admin profile image

Efficient Admin 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

This is awesome, thank you for sharing. God is an awesome God and keep your eyes on Him. When I got baptized (dunked underwater) I felt so much peace afterwards and couldn't wipe the grin off my face for 3 days.

I was going through a really rough time and all the negative emotions seemed to leave me.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, chaturrajneesh :) I am glad to hear that you enjoyed reading about my spiritual experience. I know with all of my being that there is a Power beyond human comprehension that cares about each and every one us and loves us more than we can even understand. I felt it that day and it's the kind of love that brings tears to your eyes. I long to feel it again and believe that I will, that we all will. Best wishes to you and thank you for stopping by!


chaturrajneesh profile image

chaturrajneesh 4 years ago from India

This is really a wonderful spiritual experience worth sharing. Let others also know and believe in the existence of a power which governs entire cosmos and is watching us, ready to help us in need. Thanks for sharing it. Voting it up!!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Nell, Thank you :) It is neat meeting other people who have had similar experiences. I would love to read about your experiences sometime :) Perhaps in a future hub? I understand these things are very personal and some may not want to share them with just anybody. Many blessings to you :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

What an amazing experience, and yes I totally believe it. I have had a few similar things happen to me, and its such a wonderful feeling, nell


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

KDuBarry03- Thank you for voting up and for your super nice comment :) Yes, I think it is one of those stories where God is saying "Never forget I am here". I still get goosebumps every time I think about it. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading about my experience :)


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

This is a very moving story! It brought a tear to my eye. It's one of those stories when God is saying, "Never forget I'm here". Very powerful emotions and memories in this hub...I voted WAY up :)


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Suzette,

You go girl!! I so agree.......I am so happy that we've met here. God's message to you was profound.. and it gave me goosebumps as I read it. It is so true.. and I thank you for taking the time to comment and share that with me... It's exactly what I needed to hear because even though I can always look back on my own experience, I do tend to forget just how awesome and powerful Our Father is. I understand the tears people cry too.. it's about realizing how small we are compared to God yet understanding His love for us.. it really is amazing. It's like that song Amazing Grace. It is unbelievable His love for us. I've had people try to convince me that God doesn't exist but they can keep on talking because that is one thing that I'll never be convinced of. God is here now, in all of our lives, whether we feel Him or not. Thank you so much for sharing your encounter with me... I still have goosebumps! I'm so happy to meet someone else who has experienced the Power of God firsthand :)


Suzette Hinton profile image

Suzette Hinton 4 years ago from Raleigh

I am deeply moved by your story. It isn't odd or strange at all. I remember having an encounter with God when I was a teenager. He said this to me and this has been the backdrop of my entire walk since, "Don't put me in a box. I'm too big for that." And truly, over these 52 years, He's shown me through every experience that He is too big to be boxed in. And the beauty of it, He beckons me out of all constructs that limit who I am. He is so wonderful. I now understand why people cry when they talk about him. He's done something for us that nobody...I mean NOBODY could do.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Oscarlites, thank you for telling me about your experience with the angel.. it is nice to meet others who have had similar experiences and understand what I am talking about. I bet your angel is still looking over you :)


Oscarlites profile image

Oscarlites 4 years ago from Alabama

what you shared was much like my story and axperience seeing an angel at my grandparents farm when I was seven and was extremely afraid and the angel took all my fears away and left me calm and I was then able to sleep.. that one experience has effected me many times since in my adult life.. bravo...


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

annadavis25, Thank you for reading about my experience. I do feel blessed for sure. I just wish I could feel that presence again but I know in time, I will :) Thank you again for stopping by!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, missolive :) It was a beautiful moment in my life I will never forget. I wish I could feel that way again but I feel like in time, I will experience it again. Thank you so much for reading about my experience. I really appreciate it :)


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Linda, Yes, that is exactly how I felt.. I had no idea what had happened but it was something so powerful because I was immediately taken out of the torment into a place of serenity. I know what you mean about people looking perplexed. I was scared to write the hub for fear of people trying to pick this experience apart and make it into something it wasn't but I know it happened and I will stand by my word until my dying day. I love meeting others who understand this! Thank you for reading :)


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

Vinaya, It's neat to meet someone else who has had such experience. It was so powerful I remember it like it happened yesterday. Thank you so much for reading. Hope you are having a great day!


anndavis25 profile image

anndavis25 4 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

Hey Jamie, it looks like you have the same God that I do. It's not uncommon when you are brought to your knees, He appears! Congrats! You get to live the rest of your life knowing for sure that He's there when you need him. Some people haven't experienced that. Count yourself blessed. AD


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

Thank you for sharing this beautiful and spiritual experience. You were blessed to see, feel and share this profound moment. Nobody can take away our personal experiences and memories - they are ours to cherish and reflect on. You were certainly cleansed of your pain at a moment when you needed it. Your prayers were heard and answered.

Again, thank you for sharing


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I totally understand Jamie. I was 33 years old and going through a divorce. The moment was surreal. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I didn't see a mist. I was outdoors and it was like I had a gust of wind enter me and then leave. I stood there transfixed and had no idea what happened, but I knew it was wonderful. I've told this to others and they look perplexed. Unless you have truly been there, you won't understand. I understand!! I want that moment again!!:)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I can so much relate to your experience because when I was a teenager, I too had such spiritual experience.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas Author

kitty, thank you so much for reading about my story and thank you for believing and also for the votes! It took a lot to write this because I was afraid I would get negative comments but actually I haven't received anything negative, only positive and supportive :0) I am happy that you understand :0)


kittythedreamer profile image

kittythedreamer 4 years ago from the Ether

That's beautiful, Jamie! And of course I believe you. I've had experiences similar but never quite so intense! Beautiful story. Voted up and awesome. God (or whomever you call it) was there for you in a very real way that day.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

BarbaraJo..Thank you for reading about what happened to me. So glad to be able to share this with people who believe :)


BarbaraJo profile image

BarbaraJo 5 years ago from Cincinnati, Ohio

Wow what an incredible story! Thank you for sharing! Great job!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Fluffy77, Thank you for such nice comment.. I really appreciate you reading about my experience :) I will hop over and have a look at your dream hubs.. Thank you again!


Fluffy77 profile image

Fluffy77 5 years ago from Enterprise, OR

You have a great spiritual story to share here for sure, and thanks for doing so. Very moving, wonderful, and beautiful too. I have had some spiritual events myself, they have made me better for them. You should check out my dream based stories, one of my spiritual events has always come from my dreams. Thanks for sharing, so awesome!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

JLClose, thank you for reading and commenting :0) I agree with you... God speaks to each and every one of us in different ways. I think for me the challenge is so often being open to hearing what He's saying to me. I still ask myself why did He come to me in that dramatic way but I'm sure glad He did.


JLClose profile image

JLClose 5 years ago from OreGONE

I have never had a "supernatural" experience like this, and it must be a really cool feeling to know that God actually physically reached out his hand to you, so to speak. I'm sure He speaks to each of us in whatever way He knows will get through. Thanks for sharing your story!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

jantamaya, thank you for reading about my experience.. yes, I do feel it sometimes (not as dramatic as this time) but at times when I talk to God and I am feeling overwhelmed He has a way of reaching in and calming down my soul at times (only way to describe it) like an instant calming down and lulling of negative emotion.. like a peace washes over me.. God is SO good and always there. Thank you so much for reading and sharing how God has been there for you, too :0)


jantamaya profile image

jantamaya 5 years ago from UK

Jamie, a wonderful story. Feeling peace and serenity, this is the best what can happen to all of us. God is with you Jamie. Believe in it and you will experience it again and again. At this time as it happened, you didn't know nothing about it. But, you know it now, also in sometimes difficult times - God is with you. Always. {I feel the divine energy all my life, it is always very positive and helpful, though I'm not that religious... I feel blessed with this divine energy around me):-)


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

You are welcome, Christine. I was scared for a while to share it because I thought people would judge me and think I was crazy. I realize though now that there are a lot of people out there that understand and gone through similar things. Thank you so much for reading! God Bless :0)


ChristineVianello profile image

ChristineVianello 5 years ago from Philadelphia

Wow, words have escaped me. I am so grateful that you have shared this story with us. I still have goosebumps. It just shows that God is with you with the good and unfortunatly the bad that happens. Thank you again for sharing this story!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

minso, thank you for reading and for the very nice comment :)


minso profile image

minso 5 years ago

Whenever something seemingly bad happens in our lives like rejection or disapproval, most of us normally end up with discouragement, depression and anger. However these rejections could be gateways to discover higher source of power whatever name we call it. Your experience clearly establishes this point once again. Thank you for sharing.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for reading about my experience, Carrie... it is weird because I don't really remember saying God, help me so I must have thought it. I just know it was God taking the pain away because it was so intense. A close friend told me she thought maybe it was something that I couldn't bear anymore.. they say God will not give you any more than you can bear and the more I think about it, it almost seems like it was a spirit of oppression that left my body because I mean, I physically felt this leave my body.. sometimes i think maybe God knew I couldn't bear that anymore and he came and took it away. I mean, I often think maybe I might have committed suicide if I had to keep going like that. I hope I am making sense :)

Anyway, thank you so much for reading and for the nice comment.


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

Thank you for sharing your innermost feelings Jamie. I have done the same in many difficult times throughout my life and said "please God,help me" and He has never let me down. It's like a weight lifted from my shoulder's each time. Great hub!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Minnetonka, What a nice comment! Thank you for reading about my experience.I so agree with you that with God anything is possible. Bless you and so happy to meet you here!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Hi Jamie and thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this very personal, spiritual experience with us. I do believe these miracles can happen as with God anything is possible. It sounds like you had a really hard time in your younger days and I am glad you have more peace now. God Bless you:)


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for reading, agusfanani. It's an experience I'll never forget.. and I'm glad to have shared it with you. Take Care and God Bless!


agusfanani profile image

agusfanani 5 years ago from Indonesia

A nice, touching article. God loves you so that He heals your emotional pain and leads you to the right direction .


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you projects for the kind comment.


ProjectsConsult profile image

ProjectsConsult 5 years ago from World Wide Web

Many people have visits from the Holy Spirit, and will often ignore it or try to explain it away. It is good that you recognized it for what it truly was and chose to share it to inspire others.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Enlydia Listener, Thank you so much for reading about my experience.

LightIsLove, Yes, I felt like it was def something that I couldn't handle on my own anymore. I needed some kind of divine help. I don't think I could have changed it on my own. Thank you for the encouragement.

VioletSun, thank you for reading and for understanding...there truly is something out there more powerful and amazing than any of us can comprehend but it IS there.

Thank you all for your nice comments!


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 5 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

This is awesome! I love reading stories such as yours as it reminds us that life is more than what the five senses tell us. Thank you for sharing, as it will continue to inspire readers who are receptive.


LightIsLove profile image

LightIsLove 5 years ago

I think you are a beautiful person and it is wonderful you have found the good in yourself. I believe God sends angels to everyone of us and will help when called upon. Your angel helped you because you could not do it on your own. Always look for the good in yourself and others and you will find it.

LightIsLove


Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

I am happy that God answered you...I just found your article today and will read more that you have written...Blessings


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you didasham- the love of God is so powerful that we can't even comprehend it.


didasham2004 5 years ago

.....I could feel your beauty as I read each word,God bless you and I am glad that you found yoursef


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas Author

Your welcome, kashmir.. I try to remember this experience when I feel disconnected from God and it helps to remind me that He truly is here and of how much He loves us. Thank you for stopping and reading about my experience.


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 5 years ago from Massachusetts

Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience, our God is awesome and sometimes we need to cry out for His help and He will be there to help us, has He did for you!

Great hub Thumbs up!!!


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 6 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for reading matterofthought and for the very nice comment. I'm so glad that you could relate.. I get goosebumps too even now when I think about it. It was such a powerful experience. To describe it in one word I would say joyful... I imagine or at least I hope that I will "know" that joy and peace again when my time here on earth is over.


matterofthought profile image

matterofthought 6 years ago

WOW. God works in mysterious ways right! Thanx for shareing, that was awsome. I get goose bumps. Its amazing. Its funny how everything begins in the mind, isnt it? Makes me wonder what kind of real physical energy is really in their and its awsome becuase its all connected to God. I agree with RTalloni. God bless you.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 6 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks RTalloni.. I'll check out the link!


RTalloni profile image

RTalloni 6 years ago from the short journey

Keep going to the Bible! It is a lamp unto your feet, a light for your path!

Have you ever seen this website?

http://www.actsoftheword.com/blog/devotionals-the-...


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 6 years ago from Texas Author

Diane thank you so much for reading about my experience.. I still get goosebumps!


dianeaugust profile image

dianeaugust 6 years ago from Tennessee

This is an amazing experience. No wonder you remember it so swell and so strongly. I believe there are so many ways The Divine can reach us when we are open, when we ask. Sometimes I believe as humans we are afraid to see all that is available to us. It is marvelous when we're touched in the way you were. Thanks for sharing.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 6 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you Praseti and also Satori.. I appreciate you both taking the time to read this. Bless you both!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

Thanks for share your spiritual experience to us. Life must go on, my friend. I thought we didn't want to be born in the beautiful earth. But there's a long way in front of us to achieved. We don't want such of the problem give us bad effect for our life. We have come back to God who created us. I believe this also give us motivation to welcome back to the new life. I hope you always feeling well and you can do the best for you life. God bless you!

Prasetio


Satori profile image

Satori 6 years ago from California

Often these kinds of spiritual experiences can be intensely powerful and meaningful to us, affect the rest of our lives, despite not being flash or showy to others. Love comes right in and displaces the emptiness caused by a lack of Love, and it can be amazing how easily and gracefully it happens.

I've had Divine Love lift my spirits, dispel colds, flus, hangovers, and even occasionally drug effects when I ran it. (It was odd, getting high, running Divine energy and finding myself instantly detoxed, but after I got frustrated by it and wished it would leave my high alone, the energy never did that anymore. Although it would occasionally make me feel high itself.)

If you're interested in learning more about this kind of energywork, many call it Reiki. There are communities of Westerners who have learned to run this Divine healing energy through themselves and into others, where they and the one being healed both feel better as a result. Reiki is a form of Japanese divine healing energywork, with "Rei" meaning "divine energy" and "ki" meaning essential life force. Now that you know it's real, you can learn to run that energy intentionally and heal or strengthen people in difficult situations. It's a lot of fun, and it always leaves you feeling better.

Be well,

- Satori


leslie4130 profile image

leslie4130 6 years ago from TX

I am so glad that you shared this with us. This is something that so many face. One of the worst things about depression is that it makes you feel so "alone' hearing someone else's testimony is so comforting and assuring. John 10:10 says The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Jesus died so that we could have deliverance and be set free from bondage. He does deliver, you said it yourself! You are walking proof! Thanks for sharing!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working