Always ask why, it's a defining question aw screw it. What am I doing! I need to write something it's on the edge of my tongue and yet I can't get it out! This is truly driving me crazy starting hub after hub and not coming up with anything to type. Why is that? Is it because I found someone who makes me happy with my life? Doubt it.
Seriously, I still have my guard up with areas of myself and I still have the darkness in my soul that I feel is slowly eating me alive. Should I just give in? Stop fighting the inevitable and let go of the contacts to the outside world and live in isolation, typing away on my laptop. Writing, forever writing I love it. It's my escape, my release it's the outlet for my frustrations it is where I can get the craziest thoughts out of my head. I don't write for others, I write for myself I write to give myself meaning. I live to write and write to live.
What's next? I ask this question not quite sure I want to know the answer but positive that I need to know it. It bothers me that lately I've lost my touch for being able to pull something out of my head and write for hours on it. Like this for instance, why do I think and act like I do? Why can't I be like most people in this giant rock we call earth? It's because I'm looking for answers to the questions that I do not know yet. As I sit and ponder what to write next I think of my friends, both new and old. The relationships I've created with others like me in away and so unlike me another. I tell myself it's mutual benefit, for as humans we are looking for companionship someone who is there. Not just anyone tho to be truly called my friend we have to agree on some certain points. Even disagree on others to keep things interesting, if I really wanted to spend time with someone who was like me in every way I'd go and talk to myself in the mirror. My friends are people I can bounce thoughts and ideas off of and gain another perspective the conclusions I come to on simple but important questions like why go to school?
... Now what? OH! I got it. How'd we figure out to do have the shit we figured out to accomplish?
Just what I'm doing write now is truly incredible! I'm pushing plastic keys with symbols on them and they instantly put the said symbol onto a glass screen... What?
WHO THOUGHT OF THIS! and how did they accomplish it? Basically what I'm trying to get at is other species on this planet have no need for these things and survive perfectly fine. Why was ours so much more intelligent that we figured out we could make and build such complex machines? Is it because we, as a whole, are searching for some great discovery in the question as to why we are even alive? Or is it because we are bored and wanted a new toy to play with? Who knows but I;m glad we've gotten this fair because It gives me something to do at 12 in the morning.
I'm so proud!.....
Really? Why? because you managed to write something that few people are gonna even take the time to read?
I get the feeling that most people gave up on this after the first paragraph or so but damnit! It's something!... err actually just me rambling and asking questions but whatever! Alright, alright I thank my friend for giving me the idea to just write random stuff and see what I come up with even if this isn't my best work it is still worth posting, so thank ye my friend for the help.