AL DAVIS WAS ONTO THEM -- History of the Super Bowl Part 14

1983

The first person to realize that all power personnel in the NFL were copying Al Davis...was Al Davis.

As he sat in Los Angeles, surely atop some form of hill that people risked sweving accidentally off a cliff trying to drive up to, Davis was a hearty mix of both proud of himself...and paranoid.

How did Paul Brown and them know what I was doing?

Man, they're gonna fuck it all up.

They're gonna be dicks to everybody under the guise of being innocent...then move.

They're gonna act like there's some kind of basic amenities that haven't been afforded for their stadiums...and so they're gonna move everyone away.

And they're not gonna be slick. They're gonna go about it like it's women and wins -- making everybody so upset with them that even their private plans are glared at with a microscope.

They'll go about matters in precisely the same way as me, thus telling the whole sports world what I got away with.

In 82, the L.A. Colisieum would be ditched by Georgia and the Rams in favor of Anaheim.

The Colisieum owners, who let piss fester on the staircases, didn't understand why a chick would want to walk down ANOTHER stadium's staircases.

They sued the NFL, telling them to make them bring Georgia back and pay her bills.

The NFL, filled with members who had never seen a football stadium ever except the day they picked up their teenagers from a weekend of community service picking up garbage there...ignored the quaint and cute requests of tools who thought owning a football stadium would make them worth the league office's time.

So Al Davis leapt aboard the cause.

To save L.A. Colisieum from greedy, lazy industrialists:)

Al would get the first case he filed on their behalf...thrown out by a judge and jury that were starting to loosen up and shake their heads when hearing that Al Davis was on the docket.

Then the second jury had to be thrown out because several of them were Raiders fans.

But the third jury, swearing their impartiality (please), went ahead and gave Al Davis his victory in court.

The NFL was ruled to fix up L.A. Colisieum so that Al Davis could move in without all this...riff-raff you league officers have going on.

Al can't be bothered with you people's foolishness.

And use your indoor voice while you put those windows here and these lights here.

Al Davis had to have inspired Frank Miller when he wrote Bruce Wayne's character in the comics.

But that was step one back in 1982.

By 1983, NFL owners, angry as hell at what Davis got to do while they shoveled snow, would do one of two things --

Lose their asses off so the fans would go away and they could cry bankruptcy unless they move.

Or...

Build their team into a champion first, then move, thereby getting the fans on THEIR side, sympathizing with whatever little matter they should have or in the very least, being able to point at something as proof they're not doing plan A.

And so Al Davis decides to beat these people at both plans A and B.

Losing won't make these owners look stupid.

Beating the shit out of their rented teams, WOULD make them look stupid.

Now Al Davis could move the team to Hawaii while these bitches get the brunt for not producing a winner AFTER SPENDING THE MONEY.

Just Embarrass, Baby.

The first thing Davis did upon moving to L.A., thus, was homework.

He would take Howie Long and Marcus Allen in the draft, then pick up Lyle Alzado, so now you got Long and Alzado the pass rushers, Matzurak, this guy Derrick Jensen, and then a rookie linebacker named Jack Squirek...

Dot dot dot...

The 1983 season should have been about two teams -- Miami and Seattle.

Miami, in the midst of trying not to pay veterans, would LUCK THE FUCK OUT.

In the same draft, they acquire Dan Marino, Mark Duper and Mark Clayton.

The Dolphins go 12-4.

Why only 12-4? Because of the Raiders right?

Nope.

True, L.A. would beat them, but the real problem was Seattle.

Dave Krieg was having the most unearthlike season ever at quarterback, and his running back Curt Warner had nearly 1,000 rushing yards.

They would beat the Raiders not once, but TWICE.

Then they beat the Dolphins in the playoffs to set up a meeting with L.A.

But this time, the Raiders at home were monsters.

They won 30-14.

The Raiders opponents would be the defending champions, who had beaten Dallas and Minnesota again.

Washington would never have a chance.

Jensen blocked a punt and scored in Washington's endzone.

Plunkett hit Cliff Branch.

And then right before the half, with the Redskins down 14-3, they get pinned at their own 5, and Thiesman tries throwing a sideline pass to...

INTERCEPTED BY SQUIREK WHO RUNS IT IN!!!! TOUCHDOWN!!!!! IT'S 21-3 RAIDERS!!!

21-3 at the half.

Finally Washington gets a touchdown on a Riggins score in the 3rd, but the Raiders block Moseley's extra point.

21-9 L.A.

Then they hit Washington for the rest of the game with Marcus Allen.

Allen shatters Riggins's rushing record with 191 yards.

38-9 the final.

The Raiders had won their third World Championship, and the city of Los Angeles had only one question --

Why are all these OTHER managers so selfish?

For Al Davis would officially make the AFC look so stupid that they would have to do their bullshit in the middle of the night while everyone slept.

This was how and why the Colts would leave Baltimore...in 1984...

to be continued...

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