Am I The Only One Who Doesn’t Care What Tiger Woods Is Doing Every Minute Of Every Day?
This week I went to lunch with some of the guys from the office. We went to a Chili’s and sat in the bar, nothing glamorous. Not surprising the televisions were on the several different ESPN channels. While anyone with sports knowledge might think that March Madness (whatever the hell that is, I know it has something to do with basketball, college and a chance for grown men to once again enter the world of fantasy as they “pick their teams” and talk more incesantley about it than gay men talk about well…um, men but whatever) the point is that I could have taken the basketball talk and viewing but then it seemed that every channel went to a bunch of anchors behind desks talking like excited girls once talked but now text one another. “Tiger is coming back for the Masters” one anchor said while the other one put his hand to his ear, not as if he was an old time radio singer but to hear how many days away that would be from the fact checker in his earpiece so that he could announce the countdown to Tiger. Are you kidding me? Am I the only one who doesn’t care what Tiger Woods is doing every minute of every day? – Don’t Get Me Started!
After the anchors went on and on about Tiger Woods from the start of his career to what sandwich he might be eating at this very moment, a regurgitation of the entire scandal, they then played the actual interview he gave with an added soundtrack playing under it with a mournful instrumentation that would make you think you were watching a tear jerker movie produced by the most skilled Hollywood director, editor and sound man. Oh wait, that’s probably who worked on it for them. Well, expect to see them nominated for this coverage for either an Emmy or at the very least an ESPY when they award themselves with the largest pat on their own back ever given. It may sound crazy but come on, ever since The National Enquirer put their hat in the ring for a Nobel Prize for the coverage of the John Edwards scandal, anything is possible (and yes, for those of you who don’t know, they actually think they deserve a Nobel Prize for journalism for exposing a politician’s sexual indiscretions – I hope they win, what an after party that’ll be, right? <He said with eyes a rolling>)
I originally blamed them going on and on about Tiger Woods on the 24 hour news cycle. When you have to produce that many hours of so-called “news” even entertainment news you’re bound to repeat yourself and to make a bunch of more nothing out of what started as a little nothing but to see these anchors try to sell it like they were giving you news about some hard hitting news event made me think that everyone on television these days is more like a QVC host than anything else. There was a time when I felt as though people were reporting the news but now it’s all about the anchor’s opinion. And I guess the real problem is that I don’t respect any of their opinions. Does anyone care what any of those slobs sitting around the table on The Insider screaming at the camera and one another with their stupid opinions about the latest celebrity gaffe have to say? I don’t. And the same can be said of the local and several news anchors on my nightly news as well.
The thing is that we’re a country that loves to build them up so we can tear them down. I for one don’t give a crap about how much money Tiger makes. It doesn’t make him a role model. Role models are made more from moral fiber and fortitude than bank accounts or hitting a ball with a stick. We allow celebrities and the news anchors who sell the celebrities to us like vermeil gold necklaces on television to tell us who our role models should be and the sad part is that most of us are standing in line validating this as the way to fame, fortune and worrying about who’s hot and who is not. But just like the necklace that was at a price too good to be true, it’s going to turn from that lovely gold color to a gross tarnished color sooner than we expected so we’ll put it in the drawer and chalk it up to not making a wise purchase. The same is true of celebrities whether they’re of the movie star, sports star or we don’t know why you’re even famous celebrities. We’ll love looking at them, hearing who their fucking and after a short period of time when their shiny gold coating wears off we’ll not only put them in a drawer and not care about them, we’ll try to ship them off to one of those places that gives you cash for gold, we don’t even want them in our house anymore forgetting why we ever wanted them in the first place and agreeing with the gold people when they tell us they’re of no value of all. That is until they end up dead from an overdose and then we’ll talk about how they had everything in the world and threw it all away when it was us who threw away our time and energy on the fantasy created by marketing executives at the cost of human lives for the so-called celebrity and brain numbing television as America sits on its collective couch getting even fatter in the brain on mental and actual food that fills but has no nutritional value. And then it’s on to the next shiny item. Maybe we’re really all just suffering from believing the marketing their selling us and ADD.
Look, I get it, Tiger Woods is an amazing golfer. But that’s it folks. Don’t try to make him some modern day God that needs to be worshipped. Don’t try to make him anything other than a man with some God given talent and a slave driver father who turned him into the star of the golf world that he has become. And if someone can tell me why the President is taking time out of his day to comment on this when he could be doing something important like repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell I’d sure like to hear why this is worth a Presidential quote. Am I the only one who doesn’t care what Tiger Woods is doing every minute of every day? – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com
More by this Author
I know this will shock many of you (as it has shocked me) that for years (yes, years) I have not received an International Male catalog. I almost thought they must be out of business. For those six people who are...
Here I thought that there would be certain phrases that we would never have to hear again. You know, like "Cowabunga" from when the Simpsons first came out or "What's uaaaaaaaaaaap?" from that...