America Doesn't Care About Soccer, Dammit!

There. Somebody had to say it. The entire world seems to be transfixed on what is happening in South Africa with World Cup 2010, except for one big blot on the globe, the United States of America. Every four years, soccermania overtakes practically every country and every time there are smarmy sports pundits asking why Americans don't like soccer...and then proceed to count the ways why Americans don't like soccer. This debate has become a ritual, precious air time and print space is devoted to this topic. If they didn't have this topic, sports programs would be reduced to sportscasters just staring stupidly at each other or we would just see a big fat white area on the sports pages.

Late Night Joke:

"It's a great day for the world, as the World Cup begins. On behalf of all Americans, I'd like to say, 'Eh.'" –Craig Ferguson

Attribution: Creative Commons
Attribution: Creative Commons

Why? I am so perplexed when this happens. Why do so many people care that Americans aren't as taken up by the “beautiful game”? It's not as if there aren't enough people paying attention to the sport. Frankly, I would think that the world would deem it an advantage not to have Americans play. You know how we do things. If we like something we pour money into it, we create a system so that players are developed from a young age to become overpriced but top-notch players and then the only games that we would pay to see are the ones that are played in the US. We would still ignore the entire world. This happened with baseball: World Baseball Classic. Players from their respective countries played on their country's teams and competed against teams from other countries. Team mates from American and National Leagues became rivals. What a snoozerama. Japan won last year and the only reason I know is that I looked it up. I didn't watch the games and nobody I know paid it any serious attention last year.

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Now I have seen some soccer games out of curiosity. I have to say one thing that really bothers me is how soccer players fake getting hurt in order to gain an advantage. That's so lame. Really, particular players should receive an Academy Award for the weird acting out that they do so that the other side gets some sort of penalty. It's not very sportsmanlike and it seems so unmasculine. I expect our players in our games to play hurt. Their neck may be broken, their arms might be jolted out of their sockets, blood could be pouring down from a gash on their head, whatever, but American sports players are supposed to play hurt until their coach takes them out of the game, and the only way that hurt player is getting out of the game is when they carry them out on a stretcher with tubes from a saline bottle attached to various body parts. We think it's very noble.

The other thing about soccer that's weird to me is that there seems to be so much energy expended among players over a couple of hours and what do they get for it. Maybe a point or two? Big stinking deal. Really, after playing for two hours, one team wins because they might have scored the only point? And sometimes that point was scored by accident, like when a player kicks and deflects against the opposing player's hand and it unfortunately bounces to their own goal post. That doesn't sound like a sport. Isn't the point of playing a game is to accumulate as many points possible through some sort of skill and strategy not happenstance?

Anyway, I digress. The world seems to be doing fine with Americans not really crazy about soccer. You have plenty of overpriced players that are household names except here in America, and you have plenty of people the world over who wax poetic over the most recent miraculous plays or have profanity laced discussions over the worst referee calls. There's really not much that we can add to the sport. So let's all just relax and be glad for the small number of Americans who do pay attention to the sport...they represent! The sport is growing in our country although, it's really only popular among the rugrat set and the first generation Hispanics. And yes, I know that the rest of the world calls soccer, football but tough luck. Our football got their professional association up first so the rest of you have to deal with us calling your game soccer.

This was too funny!

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Comments 16 comments

optimus grimlock profile image

optimus grimlock 6 years ago

its boring to watch and the players are cry babies thats why americans arent big on soccer


bat115 profile image

bat115 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

my sentiments exactly!


Flightkeeper profile image

Flightkeeper 6 years ago from The East Coast Author

Thanks guys!


fishskinfreak2008 profile image

fishskinfreak2008 6 years ago from Fremont CA

The "Americans don't like soccer" perception SEEMS TO BE changing


Flightkeeper profile image

Flightkeeper 6 years ago from The East Coast Author

Seems is right fishkin.


optimus grimlock profile image

optimus grimlock 6 years ago

It would take a miracle for america to love soccer, when the women won it did little for american. We were to fasinated by brandy chastain taking off her shirt. The men would have to win the world cup 3 years in a row and the athletes would have to be tougher or make steroids ok for soccer players to take. :)


ediggity profile image

ediggity 6 years ago

Dang right. How can anyone like a game that you can watch for hours on end, and results in a 0-0 tie? I think it's hilarious that you have your FIFA World Cup T-Shirt Hub right next to this one LOL.


Flightkeeper profile image

Flightkeeper 6 years ago from The East Coast Author

I may not be a soccer fan, but I am definitely a capitalist!!! Thanks for coming by ediggity.


ADI78 6 years ago

First of all the diving is only done by a few foul players. You get that in other sports as well. It's kind of unfair to judge the sport because of a few idiots who always slip through.

The few points scored is a result of the very high standard among the teams that make it to the championships. At that level, the difference in quality is very small and so it takes time to reveal who's better. Theoretically there could be hundreds of goals in a game.

Why football/soccer is so popular:

You don't need expensive equipment or venues to play it. The more skilled player will be better and not the one with the more expensive gear. That's why poor countries are equally represented in the world cup. The other reason is that it's simple enough for anyone to understand even if they never played it. That's why so many people love watching it who can't play at all.

The football world cup is by far the biggest and most popular sporting event. That alone makes it interesting to follow - even for many who hate the game. I suppose people feel that not being interested in an event just because it isn't happening in America isn't the best reason.


Flightkeeper profile image

Flightkeeper 6 years ago from The East Coast Author

Hi ADI78, thanks for your point of view. It's always interesting to see what it is that people like about the sport.


vaguesan profile image

vaguesan 6 years ago from Osaka, Japan

I'm american. I like soccer. I watched almost every world cup game I could. Does that make me un-american? I don't get this whole anti soccer sentiment. Some how it's become a "we're better than they are," thing.


Flightkeeper profile image

Flightkeeper 6 years ago from The East Coast Author

It was written tongue firmly in cheek, vaguesan.


C.J. Wright 6 years ago

I predict there will be a cure for soccer by 2012!


Flightkeeper profile image

Flightkeeper 6 years ago from The East Coast Author

That must mean the end of the world is near LOL!


zach 5 years ago

they should shrink the playing field, And reduce the time, and maybe reduce the roster, make it more dynamic and not a big waste of time! Call it american soccer.


Flightkeeper profile image

Flightkeeper 5 years ago from The East Coast Author

Nah, it sounds like hockey but with a ball instead of a puck :)

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