August 14, 2010-The Saturday Carrboro B Ride and Terrible Jokes!
The Saturday Tarwheels Carrboro B Ride will loop into Hillsborough.
A bigamist is a person who makes the same mistake twice at the same time.
The problem with the rat race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat!
Giving money and power to a government is like
giving whiskey and the car keys to a teen-aged boy.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game "MONOPOLY".
Are Eskimos God's frozen people?
I had a dyslexic lawyer.
He studied all year for the bra exam.
If the police arrest a mime,
does he have the right to remain silent?
If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving may not be for you!
Prepositions are words not to ever end a sentence with!
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals.
I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants!
Learn from your parents' mistakes!
Use birth control!
Ham and eggs:
a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate!
Teenagers: God's punishment for having sex.
Is war just God's way of teaching geography?
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
Don't join dangerous cults!
Practice "safe sects"!
To attract men, I use a perfume called, "New Car Interior".
I once wanted to become an atheist.
But they have no holidays.
Wicked chickens lay deviled eggs.
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
If you leave me,
can I come too?
My accountant is truly brilliant!
They even named a loophole after him.
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
There's no future in time travel!
In Dallas, a young man had himself committed to a mental institution.
He was a Texan and ashamed of it!
Strip mining prevents forest fires!
We couldn't repair your brakes, so we made your horn louder.
The family that sticks together should bathe more often.
Time is the best teacher but it kills all the students.
Why is it hard to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they all have boy-friends.
A good pun is its own reword!
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
Never lend a car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
The difference between an itch and an allergy is about $50.
To err is human.
To shrug is civil service.
Insanity is hereditary;
you get it from your kids.
The horse I bet on was so slow,
the jockey kept a diary.
Eve said to Adam, "Does this fig leaf make me look fat?"
It's not the bullet that kills you.
It's the hole!
75.9% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Why remember quotes when you can just make them up?
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