Balancing Coaching Basketball and a Family
Coaching is something that can take up lots of time. If you are anything like me, during the season I become consumed and immersed in basketball. I live, eat, and breath basketball. If I am not at practice, which by the way is six days a week for at least two and half hours until Christmas. Then we back it down to five days a week for two hours. I am watching game film, scouting other teams, or talking to my assistant coaching putting things together. That is just in the season. In the off season, we work with the middle school kids in the spring. Then we take Varsity, Junior Varsity, and middle school kids to at least one three to four day team camp. We also raise money for our program by having our annual skills camp for elementary and middle school age kids. We play at least forty scrimmage games during the month of June. We have our weight lifting program from end of season till beginning of next season three days a week for about an hour and a half. The off season stuff is done without pay, and the pay for the season in the state I live in runs around $2,500. Now, I am not complaining because I love this game and will do whatever it takes to prepare my boys to go into battle against anyone, but I have run into a huge problem recently and wanted to get some insight from everybody.
Basketball + Marriage + Kids = Tired Wife
You saw the schedule above. It takes up a lot of time. Now, I am married to a wonderful woman and she dated me while I was coaching so this is nothing new to her. The problem is that when it was just the two of us she was fine. She would come to the ball games, weekend tournaments, and summer scrimmage games. She loved talking to me about the games and giving me her thoughts about how the team was doing. Then it all changed when we started having kids. She no longer came to Monday-Thursday games, because it kept the kids out too late. Which I agreed with. She would get irritated when I had weekend tournaments and practices. It became increasingly apparent that my wife was working her tail off. She was living the life of a single parent through the months of November - March, and that was not sitting very good with her.
I have sat down with my wife several times over the last couple of seasons, and have told her I would quit after the next year. Then next year runs into the next. Coaching is like a drug and once you get addicted to the rush, it is hard to let it go. I have cut back on the off season stuff. I now take at least a month and a half off after the season is over. I don't work with the middle school kids during the spring, and I only go to one team camp during the summer. The problem is that during the basketball regular season between late practices and game nights, I have gone three to four days without seeing my kids. Are there any other coaches out there with this problem? I feel like the only solution is to quit coaching until my kids graduate. Let me hear from all the other coaches out there and see how you balance the two.
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