Smoking Cigar vs Pipe

Cigar vs Pipe

by JR Hager II
by JR Hager II

"If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go."
-- Mark Twain

"Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp and playing my Hohner harmonica. - Lincoln

~~~~

~ Cigar and Pipe aficionados have created a culture all their own and have changed smoking into an art form.

~ With all the brands, textures, styles of the stogies and pipe, taste and aroma, along with the many accessories (paraphernalia) this love smokers acquire resembles the love, care and indulgence fine wine aficionados share. Both have an acquired taste.

~ Pipe smoking has a nearly 3000 year old history. Way longer than cigars. Initially, pipe smoking was a religious ritual. This can be testified by reliefs found on ancient Mayan ruins. Pipe smoking was reserved only for the holy priests. ~The largest expansion of pipe smoking occurred roughly 100 years later in the 16th century England who was establishing their American colonies. ~ Possibly the next most popular pipe smoking country other than England was in Holland. The quint town of Gouda reached fame by making clay pipes. In the 17th century roughly 500 or so shops were making the clay pipes to export all over Europe. ~ Chinese and Mongolian tradition, In 19th century, smoked pipes with a small metal tube. This tradition was taken from the smoking of their opium, where the small metal head of the pipe was ideal for securely holding the resiny opium bead.

~ Cigars, it is believed, probably was first produced in Spain, and then quickly smoldered into other European countries. Though many different countries manufacture cigars today, Cuban cigars have long been highly regarded as one of the most flavorful and rich. This is due to regional micro-climates that produce the highest quality of tobacco, not to mention the skill of the country's cigar makers. Other countries produce significant amounts of tobacco and cigars like Brazil, Mexico, Honduras, Ecuador, Cameroon, Dominican Republic, Indonesia, as well as the USA. Why have cigars caught on so fast, by so many? Some speculate that the cigar's main attraction is in the way it is manufactured. High quality cigars are wrapped by hand and undergo a lengthy process of fermentation and aging (much like wine), resulting in subtle flavors and textures. The best cigars will provide no smoky aftertaste what so ever. (I have yet to find one)

Cigar & Pipe Jokes

Drunk with a Cigar. Or was it?

A man walks into a dimly lit bar and the bartender asks him “Why is the front of your shirt all bloody” His customer answers in a slurred voice “My wife caught me with another woman and cut off my penis.” “Oh come on” replies the bartender. The customer then says “If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you.” He proceeds to rifle through his suitcase and pulls out this long thin thing and lays it on the bar. The bartender bends down and looks closely and says “Why this is just a cigar”. The customer looks puzzled and says “I have it here somewhere” and proceeds to fumble through his other pockets and comes up with another long thin thing and placing it on the bar, and says ” See that”. The bartender again inspects it closely and says “You *** that’s just another cigar.” Now the customer staggers backward and steadies himself , leaning on the bar and with awareness in his shaky voice says “Son of a ***, I must have smoked it!”

~ ~ ~ ~

Frustrated Wife

A frustrated wife decided her sex life needed spicing up. After work she went shopping and picked up a pair of crotchless panties. She went home and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go with it. She greeted her husband when he came home from work, lit his favorite cigar and sat across from him as they had a drink. She slowly spread her legs… "Honey would you like some of this?" "Hell no, look what it's done to your underwear!"

~ ~ ~ ~

Second opinion

The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, “You aren’t that good in bed either!” By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends, confident he could he lit a Robusto and leaned back in his chair and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. “What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?” “I was in bed.” “What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?” “Getting a second opinion.”‘

~ ~ ~ ~

Did you hear President Clinton smokes a pipe now? Cigars are for pussies.

~ ~ ~ ~

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding on a train. The Russian takes out a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says:

"In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..."

Saying that, he goes to a window and throw the rest of the bottle through it. The others are quite impressed.

The Cuban then pulls out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas, nowhere in the world are there such good cigars and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..."

Saying that, he throws the pack of cigars through the window as the Conductor approaches. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.

Slowly, the American just stands up, with a superior smile.
He opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it...

~ ~ ~ ~

Two monks from different monasteries were old friends who shared a great fondness for cigars. Once each year when they had a chance to visit, they would pray together and, of course, light up.

Eventually, however, they became concerned that there might be some sin in their habit and they each resolved to ask their respective superiors for guidance.

When they met again, one was puffing away.

"But the head of my monastery told me it was a sin," protested the other.
"What did you ask him?" said the first.

"I asked him if it was all right to smoke during evening prayer and he said, 'No.'"
"Well," said his friend as he blew a perfect smoke ring into the air, "I asked my superior if it was alright to pray during our evening smoke and he said it was just fine!"

~ ~ ~ ~

A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"

~ ~ ~ ~

Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar but he did not have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.

"I sure do," he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch Bic lighter.

"Wow!" said his friend, "Where did you get that monster?"

"I got it from my genie."

"You have a genie?" he asked. "Yes, he is right here in my golf bag."

"Could I see him?"

He opened his golf bag and out popped the genie. The friend turned to the genie and said,
"I am a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?"

"Yes I will," the genie said.

"I wish for a million bucks!"

The genie hopped back into the golf bag and left him standing there waiting for his wish to be delivered. Suddenly the sky began to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead was heard.

The friend turned to his golfing partner, "I asked for a million bucks not ducks!"

"I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch Bic?"

~ ~ ~ ~

The druggist approached the customer who had just lit a cigar. "Excuse me," he said, "but you can't smoke in here."

The irate customer puffed a stream of smoke from the side of his mouth. "Like hell I can't!! I just bought the damn thing here!"

"Big deal," replied the druggist. "We sell condoms here too

Smokers Quotes

"Cigar smoking knows no politics. It's about the pursuit of pleasure, taste, and aroma."
-- Anonymous

"A good cigar is like tasting a good wine: you smell it, you taste it, you look at it, you feel it - you can even hear it. It satisfies all the senses."
-- Anonymous


"Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar."
-- Mark Twain


"Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar."
-- Groucho Marx


"A good Cuban cigar closes the door to the vulgarities of the world."
-- Franz Liszt, Composer

"If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral."
-- George Burns

"The only way to break a bad habit was to replace it with a better habit."
-- Jack Nicholson

"I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs."  -Albert Einstein, 1950

"Nowhere in the world will such a brotherly feeling of confidence be experienced as amongst those who sit together smoking their pipes."  - The Results and Merits of Tobacco, 1844, Doctor Barnstein

"The fact is, squire, the moment a man takes to a pipe, he becomes a philosopher. It's the poor man's friend; it calms the mind, soothes the temper, and makes a man patient under difficulties. It has made more good men, good husbands, kind masters, indulgent fathers, than any other blessed thing on this universal earth."   -"Sam Slick, the clockmaker"

"A pipe is the fountain of contemplation, the source of pleasure, the companion of the wise; and the man who smokes, thinks like a philosopher and acts like a Samaritan."  -Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

"A pipe is to the troubled soul what caresses of a mother are for her suffering child."  -Indian Proverb

"The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of the foolish; it generates a style of conversation, contemplative, thoughtful, benevolent, and unaffected..." -William Makepeace Thackeray

"May my last breath be drawn through a pipe, and exhaled in a jest."   -Charles Lamb

"When you pray with this pipe, you pray for everything in the universe, and everything in the universe prays with you."   -Black Elk, Holy Man of the Oglalas

"I have some friends, some honest friends, and honest friends are few;
My pipe of brier, my open fire, A book that's not too new."    -Robert Service


More by this Author


Comments 8 comments

Darknlovely3436 profile image

Darknlovely3436 5 years ago from NewYork

smoking is bad for your health...no matter how u inhale


johnwindbell profile image

johnwindbell 5 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies Author

...and so is driving ... no matter how they drive. More people have died who didn't ever smoke. Luckily people can still make that decision for themselves. And make the decision to write about it as well.


Captain Nigel 4 years ago

Pipe and Cigar smoking isnt as bad for your health as cigarettes since it doesnt reach your lungs, has less poisons and processed chemicals than cigarettes, and makes you look way manlier, which right there adds 30 years.


johnwindbell profile image

johnwindbell 4 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies Author

Thanks for scrolling by Captain. And if ya add natural organic tobacco to the mix ya can't go wrong. I used cigars as a step away from ciggies. Then a few months ago I stopped cigars, just because I wanted to; I've been smoking for about 40 yrs. And it wasn't a problem at all. I had more trouble starting years ago, than I did stopping. Best to ya.


TycoonSam profile image

TycoonSam 4 years ago from Washington, MI

Great Hub, the quotes are an added bonus, and like I tell all my friends...Life is too short to smoke cheap cigars.


johnwindbell profile image

johnwindbell 4 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies Author

Thanks Tycoon Sam, nice to hear from you. I agree, and cigars are a great gateway to stopping cigarettes, by the way......and stopping altogether, and just sticking with MMJ !


Andy 21 months ago

RickJuly 28, 2012 I've tried several dreiffent brands- Premium has the best price and best service of all those. Refills are sent within a few days of ordering, their batteries are reliable and covered with a one year warranty. What more could you ask for.


Kamleshkumar 21 months ago

you are doing the right thing man! that feeling your geittng is definetly your lungs fighting. your so smart to quit now before you get too far in. i smoked for 10 years, like 2 pack a day when i finally decided to quit and it was not easy. but you shouldnt have much trouble! if you need support there are tons of websites and phone numbers you can call. or if you dont want that bull* you can hit me or another ex up for help! you got this!References : Was this answer helpful?

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working