Golf is a Strange Sport

You don't see her at a golf Tournament! She is performing at a Baseball Game!
You don't see her at a golf Tournament! She is performing at a Baseball Game! | Source

I am what many people would classify as a sports widow. With cable and all the sports channels now available, that means that I am widowed year round. Fortunately, for me, as long as it’s not a Dallas Cowboy's football game or a Ranger's baseball game, I can usually pull him away from the TV, especially now that they are so easy to record and watch whenever you choose.

But, I have to be fair about this. My husband has often found himself on the short end of the stick when it comes to the relationship I have with my computer, and could be classified as a computer widower. I have always enjoyed being on my computer; and now that I have discovered the magical land of HubPages, he is more a widower than I ever was a widow. I keep getting pulled deeper and deeper … I fear there is no escape … and to be honest, I really hope to never escape.

But I digress.


Scantily Clad Cheerleaders

I am here to talk about sports, and even more specifically golf.

This next question is aimed mainly at the guys. When you think about sports, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Scantily clad cheerleaders, am I right? If it wasn’t the first thing, it probably was at least the second. Sports shows always zoom in on those scantily clad cheerleaders, bobbing up and down; and the guys ... well ... they're guys. When the game gets a little boring, at least the cheerleaders can add a little excitement to the game.

Once again, I digress. But I have a point I’m trying to make. I really do! (And, the more I digress, the better the word count! Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone!)


Golf is Really a Strange Sport!

So, today I was thinking about how sports and scantily clad women seem to go hand in hand. In previous hubs, I have alluded to sometimes thinking too much, and it’s true! Anyway, I was thinking about this subject. And with an evil smile on my face, out of the blue I told my husband, “Golf is really a strange sport, you know?” If you read my Silkie Chicken Saga, you know that I like to ambush him with the unexpected statement now and then. This was one of those times. This was a now and then.

Knowing me, I guess he had already decided not to waste a whole lot of time and brain cells trying to figure out what I was talking about this time, said, “Yeah, why?”

So he wasn’t going for the bait as eagerly as I had planned. I was a little disappointed with the effort, or lack of effort, he had put into even thinking about an answer to my question. But I proceeded, “It is one of the few sports where you don’t see scantily clad women. I mean, even roller derby had scantily clad women.” I don’t even know if roller derby is on any more; so don’t think about that one too hard. “If golf were a typical sport, all the caddies would be scantily clad women!” There, I said it.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” No theatrics, no nothing. Zilch! Just, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

While I was picking on golf, I decided to go a little further. As I think about it now, I must have been grasping at straws, because what I said next is really kind of lame. “And, you don’t have to worry about making any kind of fashion statement. Thank goodness it has changed from the loud plaid pants, but there are a few golfers that still dress …” Thinking, how do I put this mildly, and finished, “ … differently.”

“Yep,” he answers. He’s always been a man of few words, "Yep!" All I get is a "Yep!" This is quickly becoming a waste of time.

I have one more card up my sleeve, and although it's a little weak, I decide to pull it out. "And besides that, how many sports do you know where people still do it professionally while in their 50's and 60's? How can that be classified as even a sport?" Now I don't mean to offend any golfers at this point, but I am starting to get a little desperate. He's not responding to anything else, so ... I really had no choice. He made me do it!


Watching and Waiting for a More Opportune Moment
Watching and Waiting for a More Opportune Moment | Source

Either I’ve lost my touch, or he was on to me earlier than usual, because he was not biting. I decide that he’s preoccupied with other things. It surely can’t be me losing my touch! Yeah, that's it! He is definitely preoccupied, because he doesn’t even respond to this one.

But I know when it’s time to retreat before I sound any lamer than I already have. (Is “lamer” really a word? Although Microsoft Word says it is, the thesaurus says it can't be found.) So once again, I decide to let the conversation drop ‘til I can find another more opportune moment to reel him in. The fun can often be in the watching and waiting.


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Copyright © 2011 Cindy Murdoch


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Comments: "Golf is a Strange Sport" 32 comments

Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Love the tongue in cheek way you wrote this. I don't play golf but did take lessons once and now have more respect for how hard it is.

The one thing I could never understand about golf as a sport is that by the time one uses a caddy and a golf cart most of the exercise is taken out of playing golf!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Happyboomernurse - I tried to play golf once - my husband tried to teach me. He is left handed and I am right handed. I think that was our first mistake. But no matter how many times I hit the ball, it never went even close to the place that I was aiming for. I was afraid I was going to kill somebody, and they may not have been playing the same hole. After that, I just walked with him and enjoyed the great outdoors.

It really was much more difficult than it looks, and not anywhere the same as putt-putt.

Thanks for dropping by.


davenmidtown profile image

davenmidtown 5 years ago from Sacramento, California

Never played golf... I'd probably knock myself out with my own metal stick thing...hmmm maybe that is where they came up with a birdie!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

LOL, davenmidtown - as in the little birdies you see flying around your head? Could very well be. I like to think that it came because a bird snatched up the ball in mid air and deposited it in the hole for the golfer. I wonder if you could actually train a bird to do that. That would really change the game of golf. Theny you have to have a falconer in addition to your caddy.


davenmidtown profile image

davenmidtown 5 years ago from Sacramento, California

Crows would work better... and they can give a commentary.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

And what would that commentary be?


davenmidtown profile image

davenmidtown 5 years ago from Sacramento, California

Maybe the Valasic Pickle Stork could do the commentary... hmmmm


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

I don't know.....

Maybe a myna bird, then you can teach them to yell, FORE!


davenmidtown profile image

davenmidtown 5 years ago from Sacramento, California

They are so contrary... they would yell SIX or TWO or DUCK


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

DUCK and FORE mean almost the same thing!


davenmidtown profile image

davenmidtown 5 years ago from Sacramento, California

Its GOOSE you need to watch out for


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Yes, they tend to drop big surprises!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

I got a kick out of this hub. I agree about the whole golf thing. When I see someone watching golf on t.v., I can't help to wonder how they can stand it. To me it would be like watching paint dry.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

My husband has been watching it all day, but he doesn't give it his full attention. He is working on his computer also. Since we only have one TV, he's lucky that I don't watch alot of TV.

I really enjoyed your analogy ... watching paint dry! LOL

Thanks for stopping by!


Rosie2010 profile image

Rosie2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Hiya homesteadbound, with the challenge and all, you still find time to pick on your poor hubby. You go, girl! lol Great and fun read. Voted up up up! Cheers!

Have a nice day,

Rosie


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Rosie - I only pick on him occasionally, that way he'll notice that I'm usually nice. I like to add a little spice.

Thanks for stopping by!


nykesha-alexandra profile image

nykesha-alexandra 5 years ago from Purok Manchester

GOLF - Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden. . . :)


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

I have heard that, and it's fine with we. Golf is not one of my more favorite sports.


5 years ago

Voted up.

Interesting comments about various aspects of sports. Yes, there is something rather more relaxed and genteel about golf, at least, comparatively speaking, beside some other sports, anyway.

I agree too that the profusion of cheerleaders in sports sometimes involves those who might be by some standards scantily clad and that this in some circumstances might be inappropriate.

Re. the photo of the cheerleader that you have provided, I guess it's all comparative. I don't know whether she is inappropriately dressed or not, really. I guess it's all a matter of context, which kind of invites further definition of 'inappropriate', as in, 'inappropriate' for what?

Also, I guess that if the game were beach volleyball that the cheerleader was supporting, the young lady in the photo might still almost be regarded as being dressed like a nun! at least, compared with how some others on the beach might be dressed. (I hope this is not overstating it too much, but I guess my point is that it's all comparative.)

Good, thoughtful hub.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Hello again, f! I agree with you - golf is more genteel and relaxed.

I don't consider the cheerleaders to be inappropriately dressed, and in fact when you consider those dressed for beach volleyball or mud wrestling, they may even be over dressed.

Yes, it is all comparative - I was just sharing how I was trying to give my husband a hard time. And to help others think about something in a little different way.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing you opinion. I really appreciate it!


5 years ago

Oh okay. I understand now that it wasn't you point at all that the young lady in the photo is necessarily dressed in an inappropriate way.

Interesting hub and comments.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, f. Glad you enjoyed it!


5 years ago

Besides, it's not unusual for women athletes, in competitions for various sports, to wear tank tops which are open at the midriff. Like these tank tops or not, for women athletes they are very widespread and while not standard wear, they are almost on the verges of becoming standard, I guess.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

I really wasn't trying to make any kind of point with this hub. It was written with only fun in mind, and if it made someone think, then all the better.


5 years ago

Oh okay; I guess you'd find Myrtle Beach a real fun place, then, being the Golf Capital of the world, or so it's claimed.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

f - I do not play golf. My husband does. So it really doesn't matter to me.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...well if I had a cheerleader like that around the house (spoken like a truly shallow man - lol) I would be home stead bound too - lol lol -

yes your writing reminds me of Erma Bombeck - I would say that's quite a flattering comment - remember her?

And you are such a natural at this style of writing - if you told me that you owned it - I would most certainly believe you - and happy new year my friend with warm wishes of health, happiness and prosperity for you and your family in 2012.

lake erie time ontario canada 1:31am


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

epigramman - wow! What a compliment! I appreciate your comment so much. In fact, had you told me in person, I would be blushing... blushing with pleasure ... but blushing none the less.

Here's wishing you and those you love a year full of wonderful surprises. And a cheerleader to keep you home stead bound if that is what you desire! LOL


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

Hello Cindy,

You really made laugh out loud with this hub. I confess that I came to this hub because I saw the... word Golf honest lol. The scantily clad cheerleaders had nothing to do with it honest lol. OK I am a guy.

I like the way you have put this hub together ambushing hubby didn't quite work. Very smart but he didn't bite. I like the comment under the big cat 'waiting for an opportune moment'.

Cracking hub voted up funny and interesting.

PS I play a bit of golf and you have inspired me to do a hub, on my experiences of this very strange sport.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

molometer - I am pleased that you enjoyed this one! There are places where I think I got quite a bit lame actually, not nearly as good as the silkie chicken saga. There I really had him going.

I look forward to seeing your hub on golf. We might have to link the two.

Thanks for stopping by!


Precision Golf profile image

Precision Golf 14 months ago from Wollongong

Im married to a pro. Golf is definitely a weird sport! Great article. Thx for writing!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 14 months ago from Texas Author

Thanks, Precision Golf. Glad you enjoyed it.

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