20 Ways On How To Stop Your Partner Watching The World Cup Football!
Girl Film Ladies?
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold! Ah Ha!
Oh ye Gods its that time of year again! The Football World Cup!
Out comes the curry and beer, there are tons of dirty plates all over the house.
All you can hear is grunting from the front room with occasional bouts of Yeah, and 'Oh for gods sake kick the darn ball you stupid.....!'
Swiftly followed by the sound of male voices burping laughing and just well, slobbing!
So, what do you do? Carry on with a smile on your face, and constantly top the guys up with copious amounts of coffee, and food?
Or give the guys a flirty look just to let them know that actually there is a woman in the room, and she's not there just to serve you?
Well, if this is you, then take note. There are quite a lot of things you can do to stop them in their tracks! Ah ha! lets go get em girls!
Oops...Oh Dear sorry about the hole!
Ready Ladies? Here Goes!
- Hide the remote control for the TV. Make sure you do it at least the night before the match so they won't think its you being, well ya know.
- He's got all the beer in ready for his friends to arrive. So, when he goes out invite all the girls round for a beer party! Yep! And make sure they all drink at least three cans each so by the time he gets back 20 women are face down on the grass totally inebriated and having a great time!
- Offer to dog sit for all your friends. All in one go! Have you ever seen a guy watching TV with five great Danes slobbering all over him? Nah didn't think so!
- Sabotage the electricity. Make sure it works when he goes to pick up his friends, but by the time he comes back he finds you stood there with lots of wires in your hand and a please help me smile on your face!
- Flood the bathroom. That will do it. They can't watch TV if there is water all over the house! Just make sure you move all your good stuff first!
- Invite all your friends round for a Lingerie party! With a bit of luck the guys will forget all about the football and want to sit and watch the women checking out the undies!
- Dig a hole in your front garden, right by the door. Guaranteed to bring one guy down on his knees, hopefully with a broken leg so all the others have to get him to the hospital!
- Spray fertiliser all over your front garden. Make sure all the doors and windows are open so the smell wafts into the said front room! Nothing like the smell of poo to put them off footie!
- Invite all the neighbors round for a barbecue. make sure you get all the older ladies to keep popping into the front room to ask, 'Who's that playing dear? What's his name? Oh he looks like my nephew, did you know he is in the Amazon jungle at the moment? Move over i will tell you all about it......!
- De flea your dog, make sure you get lots of lovely fleas and place them around the room. Especially on the couch where they are all sitting. Then sit back and watch through the window. Hours of fun can be had with this one!
- Get one of the wives to phone up her hubby midway through the match and say that the police are at her door with descriptions of all his friends, something about a robbery?! Guaranteed to clear a house in 10 seconds flat!
- Make sure you and all the girls are sitting watching a rom com on tv when its time for the match to start. Watch the guys squirm when we all squeal 'Cameron Diaz is sooo good in this isn't she? Oh and that guy is such a hottie!
- Clean your carpet! make sure its soaking wet, smells like the dog, and really needs to 'air' for at least three hours!
- Make sure they know you are having a bath or shower, wait till the football starts then scream at the top of your voice 'MOUSE! EEEEEEK'! Then give points to whoever gets there first, cos there will be a stampede!
- innocently walk through the room in front of the tv and say, 'Hiya tom, is your ex wife still seeing John? (sitting next to him)! Then walk out. Just for fun count out how long it takes for the punch up to start!
- Last but not least? Tell them that the match was actually two hours ago, and the results are........! Well you get the point! Then sit back and watch them cry! Hee Hee!
Na I don't hic....know where the darn remote is?
Buy them a consolation prize!
Funny Football! Just for you Guys, cos you missed the match! Ah Shame!
Football? What Football?
So there you go. And If you can think of any more great ideas please do let me know. Before I strangle anyone else who mentions the darn football!
Oh and I forgot to say? Don't forget to give them that curry. And lots of lovely yummy chocolate flavored laxative in their beers or coffee. Then sit back and watch the Olympic Sprint to see who can get to the bathroom first!
Now, who needs football for entertainment?!
Funny Stuff Links:
- Gypsies, but sometimes Thieves! (But only Funny thin...
Sometimes living with a gypsy can be hilarious and dangerous! come and read my funny but nerve racking story! Nell Rose
- Gypsies: An Indian Prince, And Two men And A Rat!
Very funny but true story of my life with a Gypsy. It never gets boring!
- Gypsy's but not Tramps and Thieves
Gypsies are always given a bad name, but trust me when I say you can't be farther from the truth! Here is my story. Nell Rose
- What Not To Do When Face To Face With A Lion!
Essex Lion spotted in well, Essex! Some people really should change their glasses. But just in case you really do come face to face with a Lion, here's a few tips on what not to do! Oh, and come and face the real culprit chillin' out and minding his
- How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Da...
Who said 50 was the youth of old age and the old age of youth? Seems they got that right! Here's 10 signs to tell you are too old and past your sell by date! Watch out, this might just happen to you!
- The Day I Met The Celebrity Of My Dreams And Made A ...
Michael Praed is a TV, Film and stage actor. That didn't stop me from turning into a dribbling mess when I met him! Read how I made a complete fool of myself at the making of the film Staggered!
- Google Street View Dead Body Mystery and some more s...
Google Street View has captured some funny moments since it started, but these are just hilarious!
- Limericks - From Funny Famous Ditties To Rude Little...
Limericks to make you laugh from famous poets to everyday people
- Google Street View more strange and funny captures! ...
More great google street view funny photos. Come and take a look at Skeletor the bones with the wheels!
© 2014 Nell Rose
More by this Author
The Naked Olympics were first started by the Greeks thousands of years ago, but how would our sports stars cope today? A fun look at Cycling, Pole Vault, Tennis, volleyball and rugby, au naturel!
Learn how to overcome your fear of flying with tips on how to alleviate stress. How to program your brain, plus do's and don'ts of how to behave when having a panic attack.
Buckinghamshire is one of the most haunted places in England. From ghostly puritans to loved ones who come back to haunt their families. 16 spooky sightings, real life stories!