Terror at 20,000 Feet! How to Survive a Fall from an Airplane without a Parachute
It may come as no surprise to the reader that there are people who are greatly agitated by the thought of falling out of an airplane without a parachute.
Indeed, I would be so bold as to assert that these persons would, on the whole, prefer not to fall out an airplane at all, either with or without a parachute; but definitely, given the choice, would choose the former over the latter.
I myself fall (excuse the pun) into this group.
"If I have to fall out of an airplane," I say to myself, "well I would rather I did it with a parachute than without one, seeing as the parachute may have some small part in making the plunge to the ground somewhat less hazardous to my health, than a fall without one."
However, life being what it is, we sometimes find ourselves deficient in choices as, for example, falling out of airplanes.
But secondly, to be flung to the winds in such a circumstance, without the aid of a descent-retarding-device,is a double-whammy,in the department of Cruel Fate, and one which, if it were to occur,might make one become, shall we say, very distressed?
So, in order to give some kind of advice and reassurance on this topic, I have given an enormous amount of brain up-time to the question, in the hope of providing a modicum of helpful guidance, should this eventuality ever materialize in your life.
Yes, you have just discovered you are on a down-ward spiral, from, say 50,000 feet above the Terra Firma, and further that you have no visible means of support to make your anti-ascent less of a one-way trip.
Again I say, don't panic.
This can only make things worse.
Take stock of your situation.
Are you sure there is no parachute on your back? Check and see. Feel your posterior portions and discover whether or not you have a bulge, like an over-stuffed pillow attached to your back.
Well now you know your true situation. That is a plus. And you, at this point, need all the plus-es you can get.
Now turn your attention to the nether-regions that lie beneath your feet. (This is assuming, of course that you are falling feet-first.)
What is beneath you? Take a casual accounting of the overall landscape. Is it: forest, jungle, a large body of water, (thank you God) a suburban neighboorhood, a freeway at rush hour, or perhaps a soybean farm ?
Take note of any areas that are softer than others.
Having finished Step Two, you should by now be able to make a decision as to where you would, all things being equal, prefer to land. Your goal is now clear--to maneuver yourself into position to strike your chosen target.
Swimming towards it, using, a breast-stroke motion, or flapping your arms--both are equally effective.
With a little help from the jet-stream you just might make it.
Landing is something that will vary depending on the surface that greets you on impact.
Try to stay positive.
Nothing great was ever accomplished by nay-sayers.
The trick is to bounce.
Think "bounce". Imagine a rubber ball. BE the rubber ball. Be one with the bounce. This is your best bet.
You just might survive your fall, from an airplane, without a parachute.
Now, don't you feel better?
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