NFL Draft Preview
Football fans and aficionados of professional sports drafts follow the NFL (National Football League) annual draft with great interest. Web sites fill up with 'mock drafts' composed by highly skilled experts as well as amateurs who wouldn't recognize a football if it made sudden contact with their nose.
Sports networks on radio and television program countless programs during which paid experts pontificate over heights, weights, 40 yard dash times, intangibles, vertical leaps, Wunderlich test scores, football IQs, bodies of work, and anything else that might be suitable for filling up valuable air-time. These experts have little else to do for the remainder of the sports season, yet their faces find themselves appearing on billboards, TV commercials, sports magazines, podcasts, After School TV Specials, temporary tattoos, and custom-painted motor homes.
We present our daring and accurate predictions for the upcoming draft. Every team has needs, and we fully expect them to address those needs by drafting players on draft day. Read on: learn the latest draft pontifications and team predilections for the upcoming selections. It doesn't get any better than this.
- Here are our carefully considered predictions for this years' draft.
- Carolina Panthers: coming off a disappointing season in which the Panthers lost more games than their fans expected, expect this team to pick a player than will help them immediately. They need a stud that is ready to step onto the field and step up to make plays.
- Denver Broncos: Bronco fans are accustomed to winning. The team has slipped somewhat, hence their ownership of the second pick in the draft. Team management has worked hard in the off-season to identify key college players that will be a good fit on the team.
- Buffalo Bills: This team has many needs, some of which they will look to satisfy in this draft. They lost key players to injuries last season: rookie talent taken in this draft may be required to fill in for fading veterans who have been on the roster for many years.
- Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals stink and nobody cares anyway. They may as well draft a kitchen sponge or a clock radio: nothing can help this franchise. Letting them draft from the Pro Football Hall of Fame wouldn't even get this team to a .500 record.
- Arizona Cardinals: Playing in the desert may be helpful for this team because fewer people will have to watch them. Look for the Cardinals to select skill players and non-skill players to fill more holes than a Swiss cheese sandwich.
- Cleveland Browns: Years of neglect have left this once-storied franchise with no stories. They are required to draft a player, so expect them to go ahead and do so when their turn comes up.
- San Francisco 49ers: The 'Niners will use the draft to pick players that will be out of football within 1-3 years. Some of the players they draft will make a lot of money, then waste it on Chinchilla ranches and web site start-ups.
- Tennessee Titans: No one outside Tennessee is sure if the Titans still have a team, but they are predicted to draft players anyway. The team has multi-faceted needs on al three sides of the ball and will look to rebound from off-field issues that shook the franchise from the front office all the way down to the guys that parks cars.
- Dallas Cowboys: Perennial favorites to reach the Big Game, expect the 'Boys to draft players that will get arrested and play very well on prison teams throughout the southern United States.
- Washington Redskins: No one like this team and no one wants to get drafted by them. The Redskins had to sneak up on prospective draft picks just to get their height and weight. Coaches hid in bushes with stopwatches to clock 40-yard dash times. No college program allowed their scouts on campus.
- Houston Texans: The front office of the Texans is planning for a big year, but they do that every year. Look for them to draft specific players for specific needs because the draft pretty much requires players to be drafted by name anyway.
- Minnesota Vikings: This team was in the Super Bowl back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and players got their HGH by eating Prime Rib. Their draft needs are extremely various and we anticipate them to pick real players who played in college.
- Detroit Lions: Evey year this team drafts players and we are certain this year will be no different. The Lions need help everywhere except the guy who runs onto the field and picks up the tee after kickoffs. They have that covered, unless the injury bug bites.
- St Louis Rams: Scouts and coaches cannot agree on the most pressing needs for this squad. Look for draft turmoil right up until the last possible moment, at which they will pick a player who has not yet been drafted.
- Miami Dolphins: After years of low expectations, the expectations are once again low. Miami fans will be interested to know that the Dolphins do indeed have draft picks and they intend to use them. After that, it's all downhill.
- Jacksonville Jaguars: Key injuries to key starters at key positions make this draft a key event in the Jag's upcoming season. Look for them to select, with their first pick in the draft, a player with a high up-side and a good football instincts.
- New England Patriots: As a perennial team in the National Football League, this program will continue in its' rich tradition of drafting players. They will focus on picking players that they have already weighed, measured, and not drafted in a previous draft.
- San Diego Chargers: If disappointment was candy, everyone in the front office of this team would have cavities. This draft represents a chance to 'get well' by drafting players who can help move the program forward and also to have an excuse to cut some guys who just won't go away. Expect a solid draft from a solid franchise with good management and solid coaching
- New York Giants: This team just seems to reload every season. Their draft picks are used strategically to identify and obtain high levels of football talent that sometimes fit well into the program and sometimes crash and burn.
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Scouts from the 'Bucs' have worked overtime this year to identify the best college football talent that can contribute to the way things are done in Tampa. The program will continue to move forward without looking backward, while still keeping a eye out for anything coming in from the blind side.
- Kansas City Chiefs: Major departures from the team in the past few seasons have left the Chiefs with many important holes to fill on all sides of the ball and on the side of the field where the team stands when they are not actually playing in the game. There are some empty lockers in the locker room that could also be put to good use by letting new players use them.
- Indianapolis Colts: Thanks to a long tradition of drafting good players and playing them on the field in the positions where they play really well, the Colts get to draft more players and continue to do the same thing all over again. Look for this to continue in the upcoming draft.
- Philadelphia Eagles: Eagles fans and football fans in general will be happy to hear that we predict the Eagles will draft from a deep well of talent at positions where they need talented players.
- New Orleans Saints:Anything the Saints do in this year's draft will be a good thing because everything the team does is welcomed as a wonderful and amazing respite by a city that was almost washed into the Gulf of Mexico. They could draft a wiener dog and a bag of fertilizer and the sports pundits would describe their decision as "good for the city." The Saints are in a legendary win-win situation.
- Seattle Seahawks: We anticipate the Seahawks drafting players that are strong, fast, and mobile and quick and good jumpers and good with their peripheral vision. Some of these players will be on the roster when the season begins.
- Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens are looking down the figurative barrel of literal retirements of key players who have helped the team a lot in the past but are mostly dead weight these days. Look for the team to draft players to replace these aging players and the the aging players to help the newly drafted players to acclimate to the way that football is played in the NFL. It always happens that way.
- Atlanta Falcons: Falcon executives have directed Falcon scouts and Falcon coaches to identify potential draft picks who will fit into Falcon uniforms and play football the Falcon Way. We think they can do it.
- New England Patriots: The Patriots will continue the tradition they started with their earlier pick in this draft and we fully expect them to pick another player. Look for them to identify a player than does not play the same position as the player they previously picked and he probably won't be from the same college, either.
- Chicago Bears: Every year the Bears have pressing needs at key positions. A college draft rich in players who play key positions should help the Bears make key decisions.
- New York Jets: The J-E-T-S Jets need a few pieces to complete their puzzle, but look for them to take time away from that activity long enough to name a few players in the draft.
- Pittsburgh Steelers: The sports machine that is the Steelers will analyze, compartmentalize, dissect, parse, sort, and segregate all available draft data to identify the most perfect player available in the draft at the time they are allowed to draft. They will carefully ignore players who have been previously drafted. After that, they will select a player and he will immediately vault over grizzled veterans into the starting lineup to take the position of a much-maligned veteran player who will shortly become a former player. Unless he doesn't.
- Green Bay Packers: Look for the Pack Attack to pick a player who looks good in green. Packers scouts look for players that have a high motor and come to play every day. Any athlete drafted by the Packers will be expected play to his potential and do what needs to be done in order to get the job done.
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