NFL Picks. Week 6, 2015

The only games I got wrong were between baaaad, baaad teams.
I'm gonna go ahead and feel good about myself this week.

This is going to be a slaughter.
This is going to be brutal.
This is going to be hard to watch.

Four picks from Brees, 500 yards from Julio, and it'll have cleared to a Falcons home game by the fourth quarter.

This one could go one of two ways.

The Bills play brutal, physical football and punch the Bengals in the mouth, winning a sack-happy, turnover friendly battle, or the Bengals just outplay and outcoach the Bills....

Sadly, I think the second is more likely, and the paper championship run of the Bengals continues.

I'M CALLING IT.
THE UPSET OF THE CENTURY.


Okay, maybe not.
I wanted to though.
The reality is, the Broncos suck.
I know, I know, they're undefeated, but they really shouldn't be.
The offense couldn't score against the Oakland Raiders (See:32nd ranked pass defense), and at some point, they're going to run out of lucky turnovers.

Unfortunately, the Browns don't have the balance on offense to really move against this defense so...

Things are going from bad to worse in Detroit.
Getting spanked is one thing.
That happens.
But benching your star QB?...
That sends a message, and that's not always a message you want heard.

Meanwhile, don't look now... but the Bears defense has put in back to back strong weeks and Jay Cutler is finding ways to get things done...

QB controversies kill teams.
This feels like a risky pick, but unless JJ Watt is going to line up under center for the Texans... I don't know what they're going to do offensively.

It might be time to talk about a a coaching change in Kansas City.
Look, I love Andy, he's a really solid coach, and he belongs in the Hall of Fame.
But this offense is just hard to watch.
They've got pieces!
They've got pieces across the board, but whether it's bad play-calling or just the offensive line, they can't seem to get anything going, even against the worst of teams.

No Jamaal Charles?
That's the back-breaker.
Minnesota gets a frilly win.

It's hard to look up film on a team that's never played.
What do I mean by that?
The Dolphins just changed coaches.
This usually does one of two things.
It either destroys the locker room and their season goes down in flames, or it motivates the team.

The Dolphins are a talented squad... they've just had a rough start.
Against a crappy Titans team, I give the Dolphins a much needed win.

What a weird match-up.
I'm taking the Redskins because their defense, if only temporarily, suppressed Matt Ryan and Julio Jones MVP talk last week and the Jets...
Look, the Jets aren't as good as their record says they are.
Seriously, they're not a 3-1 caliber team.
As long as the Redskins can find a way to move the ball on offense, they'll win.

If Big Ben was playing...
If only...

Unfortunately, he is't, and this Cardinals team is known for eating bad quarterbacks whole.
Hell, they pretty much ruined Matt Stafford's career last week.
Just ridiculous.

This is gonna be fun.
Ready?
*Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Voice*
FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY!
We *Chris Jericho Voice* NEVER, and I MEAN NE-E-E-EEEEEEEEEEEEVER HAVE TO HEAR THE CAM NEWTON HYPE AGAIN.

Seriously, I'm sick of this.
I am so ridiculously sick of this mediocre quarterback getting national hype because his team managed to beat the likes of Tampa Bay and Jacksonville.
I hope he throws 49 interceptions, fumbles twice, and runs out of bounds on fourth down.

*Opens suggestion box*

Yes.
I really do think the Ravens are that bad.
THAT bad.
LOSE TO COLIN KAEPERNICK BAD.

I just think this isn't their year.
They have plenty of young talent, but the reality is... they might be too young.
The defense lacks leadership or talent in the secondary, Joe Flacco doesn't have anyone to throw to, and when you start 1-4... It's hard to stay focused.
San Francisco isn't much better off... but at least they seem to be sucking as a unit.

If Nick Foles wasn't a raging dumpster fire at quarterback, the Rams might've finally shut the NFL media up about these packers...
But alas, another week of Rodgermania.
And another meaningless win that everyone will parade around in their green and gold underwear.

Get used to it folks.
I'm never going to not pick the Patriots.
That's just the way this season is going.
The real questions are...

DOES Andrew Luck play?
DOES that make a difference?
DOES... Tom Brady even look human?

As I've said before, I think the Giants are a serious darkhorse this season, and while the Eagles have enjoyed a bit of a resurgence lately, I think the buck stops here.
Division games are always tough, and you throw out the records and blah blah blah, but the Giants should be undefeated, and I think the road to the fourth seed starts here.

I'm getting smoked this year. But hey, there's still time to turn it around.....right?

Atlanta @ New Orleans: The Saints are officially toast this year. Usually I would pick them to pull off the win at home in a primetime game against Atlanta. I can't do it now. Not with the Falcons still being unbeaten and with how they are playing. Atlanta starts week 6 with a road win.

Washington @ New York Jets: Washington took it to Atlanta for a while last week, and then the real Kirk Cousins showed up and did what he does best. I still don't think this is a good team, and the Jets are rested up following a week off. Give me the Jets to win.

Arizona @ Pittsburgh: Depends a lot on which QB plays for the Steelers this week. Actually, no it doesn't. I still like the Cardinals to go cross country and win this game.

Kansas City @ Minnesota: HUGE blow to the Chiefs by losing Jamaal Charles last week. That team is built to run around one of the best runners in the game. I think they'll get things figured out, but it's going to take a little while. The Vikings have recovered pretty well since that 49ers loss, winning twice and coming within a field goal of winning all 3 games. Plus, they're off their bye week. I like the Vikings to win.

Cincinnati @ Buffalo: This is a really tough game to pick. The Bengals are undefeated, yes, and they showed me something after coming from 17 down in the 4th quarter against that Seahawks defense. But at the same time, you keep waiting for them to have that clunker of a game (because they are the Bengals, after all). As for Buffalo, they've been so streaky that they are kinda hard to figure out. This game could go either way, but, I think the Bengals continue to impress and get to 6-0 by grinding out a tough road win.

Chicago @ Detroit: Da Bears have put it together a little bit over the last couple of weeks after that terrible start they had. And Detroit.....they're a mess. Even though they have to go on the road, I like Chicago to get another win this week over the struggling Lions.

Denver @ Cleveland: When the year started, I NEVER would have thought this would be a tough game to pick. But here we are in week 6, and that's exactly what we have, after Josh flipping McCown shredded my Ravens to the tune of about 900 yards last week. Denver still hasn't had that impressive breakout showing yet, and I don't think they will this week. BUT...BUT...I still think Peyton does enough to lead the Broncos to the win, and also because that Denver defense is much greater than the Ravens D is.

Houston @ Jacksonville: Not as much of a slam dunk pick here as you might think. Brian Hoyer grabbed control of the Texans QB job last week (and rightfully so), and Blake Bortles actually looked like a real QB last week (although against the Bucs). I think Houston wins this game, but I think it won't be a decisive win.

Miami @ Tennessee: This game should be so bad as advertised. Titans win. I think.

Carolina @ Seattle: Seahawks are going to be PISSED after letting that game get away from them last week. Good luck Carolina.....your going to need it. Seattle wins in front of the 12's.

San Diego @ Green Bay: If the Chargers can't beat Michael Vick at home, what the hell makes you think they're going to go to Green Bay and beat Aaron Rodgers? Packers win, in a game that I don't think will be relatively close.

Baltimore @ San Francisco: I have no idea. Really, I don't. The offense for the Ravens, despite having ANY receivers, continues to actually be decent (12th in yards per game, 10th in points per game), but that defense.....lets not even talk about how much stuff has been almost broken around my house the first 5 weeks of the year. And San Fran, man, they damn near beat the Giants Sunday night, but, they've now lost 4 in a row. This game is a toss up, but.....and I can't believe I'm about to say this.....my Ravens lose this week. 49ers win. (sigh)

New England @ Indianapolis: The Tom Brady Revenge Tour comes to it's ultimate destruction point this weekend against the team that blew the whistle on Deflategate. The Colts defense has NOT been good this year (28th in yards, but a decent but not good 16th in points) and now they get to play a really motivated Brady? Forget who the QB for the Colts is, because it doesn't matter. Patriots win.

Philadelphia @ New York Giants: The Eagles have finally gotten things clicking a LITTLE bit, and the Giants continue to get better each week. This is a pretty tough game to pick, but, at home, I gotta think the Giants find a way to win this week. It's a game they should win, not easily, but they should win it.

Lets see how many more games I lose to Ryan this week. How the hell did we keep it so close last year?????

Damn, I gambled on the wrong bad team last week!
We've got a few disagreements this week!

He picked the bad team from New York while I picked the bad team from Washington.
I picked the Jaguars while he picked the Texans because... damn that AFC South.
I picked Miami while he picked Tennessee.